


The Surrogate

by gubernaculum



Series: The Namesakes [20]
Category: Highlander: The Series, Torchwood
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 03:01:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 96,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14369475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gubernaculum/pseuds/gubernaculum
Summary: Jack wants to give Gwen and Rhys a precious gift, even though he swore he'd never do this ever again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should've written this right from the start, but I kept forgetting.  
> This story doesn't have any alien or Torchwood strangeness other than the mpreg. It's mostly character and relationship development. Originally this was a work I wasn't going to publish and had only roughly written as a background piece for my own use.

There was nothing but numbness in Gwen. There weren't any thoughts or feelings, just nothing. She was a shell, breathing and existing, and she was beginning to wonder if she even wanted to do that anymore. Rhys was sitting in the chair in front of her, holding her hand, but she wasn't looking at him. She stared, eyes unfocused, in his general direction. The silent tears just ran down into the uncomfortable pillow below her. 

A small knock at the door made Gwen blink. 

“Hey… up for a visitor?” Jack asked. 

Rhys stood up, tears swimming in his eyes. It was good of Jack to come. She knew the team was involved with some sort of case at the hospital, but she didn't know what and she didn't care. She wasn't trying to be mean or apathetic, but right now, she couldn't work up enough energy to feel anything about anything. 

She could smell the flowers and thought absently, _Nice of him._ And wondered if Ianto or Alicia had picked them out. 

"I’m sorry," he said. 

Gwen could hear how inadequate he felt the words were. She could hear the men's fists thumping each other on the back as they embraced.

“Going to have a walk and find a coffee,” Rhys muttered as he let go of Jack. He staggered for the door. Gwen distinctly heard her husband choking back sobs as he walked away.  

Once Rhys’s footsteps had faded, Gwen reached behind her. The unflattering hospital gown was faded and there was plastic tubing hanging from the cannula in her hand. Jack took off his coat, tossing it into the chair Rhys had just vacated. Gwen got a wave of his scent as it flew past her. It was a smell that once sent her tingling, but now it made her heart calm and soothed her soul. 

He lowered the bed railing, grabbed her hand and climbed in. He nestled himself behind her, hugging her tightly. He kissed the back of her hair and Gwen settled against him. She almost wished he'd left the coat on so he could wrap it around them like a shield. 

“I’m so sorry, Gwen,” Jack said. 

“They said it was a girl… Madeline… we were going to call her Madeline...” she whispered. The grief was a tidal wave, filling the bottomless nothingness within her and she began to sob.

Shortly after Jack and Ianto’s wedding, she and Rhys had decided to take a plunge of their own. She’d binned her birth control pills. The very next month she was pregnant and she was surprised at how happy that made her. She was equally surprised at how devastated she was after the first miscarriage. The second miscarriage was even harder. 

At first, Gwen had kept everything quiet, thinking she’d tell everyone at the right time after she was pregnant, but as the struggle continued, she’d needed her friends. The whole team knew about Gwen and Rhys’s difficulties.

It had been impossible to get excited about their third pregnancy, waiting for the other shoe to drop. And right after Torchwood lost Cameron MacDonald, it did. Their third pregnancy was ectopic. The embryo had implanted in her fallopian tube, not her uterus. Gwen lost not only the pregnancy, but that tube to rupture. She'd blamed herself. She'd felt the pain, but fear and denial had kept her away from the doctor, though there was nothing they could have done. 

The pregnancy failed, and Gwen felt that failure. It shook her to her core. She was a woman. Having babies was what women did. Why couldn't she have a baby?

They turned to fertility specialists. The doctors couldn’t find a reason for any of it. Gwen had no trouble getting pregnant, she just couldn’t seem to stay that way. She was perfectly healthy aside from a few vitamin deficiencies that supplements and dietary changes could easily correct. Just to check all the boxes, she and Rhys had gone for genetic counseling, but that hadn't unearthed a reason for their failed pregnancies either. Infertility of unknown origin, they’d called it. By the time Henry and Fish were back from their honeymoon, she was pregnant again. 

This time the pregnancy’s end was catastrophic. It was another ectopic pregnancy. Her fallopian tube hadn’t ruptured, but scar tissue now blocked it. With both Fallopian tubes gone, Gwen had lost all possibility of conceiving children naturally. Undaunted, she and Rhys turned to in-vitro fertilisation. The process had been long and arduous-the hormone injections, the mood swings, the waiting. But it had all been worth it. 

She’d reached her second trimester with no issues aside from a great deal of morning sickness. When they’d reached the halfway point, she and Rhys had started to celebrate, seeing a light at the end of the long, dark tunnel. They’d started converting the guest room into a nursery, and looking for a larger flat. She’d told all her friends. Everyone was so happy for them, especially those who’d known what a long and hard road it had been. 

But tragedy struck again. At a routine check up, the doctor had been unable to locate a foetal heartbeat. Their baby had died, and again, doctors couldn’t tell them why. Gwen and Rhys’s hearts shattered. As she cried, she wondered why this was all happening to her. Hadn’t she built up any good karma at all? Was there no fairness in the universe? What had she done to deserve this misery? All she wanted was to be a mother, to have and hold a child that was theirs.

Jack kissed the back of her head and smoothed her hair as she sobbed. When she quieted, she asked, softly, “Tell me about the most beautiful thing you've ever seen." 

"Gwen..."

"Just tell me. Anywhere in the universe, not just Earth." 

"I saw a firebird once. It's a tiny thing, no bigger than a hummingbird. It's literally made of fire. It lives only for a minute, blazing different colors as it sings. It's so bright, you have to close your eyes, but when you open them, it's gone, but the image behind your eyelids remains." 

She wiped the tears, trying to imagine something so beautiful. When she shut her eyes again, she could almost see the blue outline of the bird. For some reason, it gave her immense comfort and brought her a measure of peace.  _That's nice, that. I'll have him tell me that again someday._

"I want to help you, Gwen.” 

She patted his arm and said, “You are, love.” 

“No, I mean, I want to help you and Rhys. You only have two frozen embryos left. Let me carry one,” Jack said, seriously. 

Recovering from a medical procedure or not, Gwen turned and gaped at him. “What on earth are you talking about, Jack?!” 

“Let me carry one of them. I’ve done it before. I can do it again,” he said, confident. 

“You have got to be joking?!” she exclaimed. 

“I can’t let this happen to you again. I can’t let you and Rhys go through this,” he said, sitting up. 

“There’s nothing wrong with me!” Gwen said in a loud whisper. “They don’t know why this keeps happening! What makes you think carrying one of the embryos will make things turn out any different?” 

“I’m not saying there’s something wrong with you,” he replied. “I’m suggesting a different way.” 

Gwen lowered her voice, looking nervously at the hospital room door. In an incredulous whisper, she said, “Are you out of your mind? This is the twenty first century! What doctor would know how to perform a procedure that hasn’t even been invented yet? They wouldn’t know what to expect! They wouldn’t know how to treat you!”

Jack rolled his eyes. “I went through the procedure, Gwen. I know how it goes.” 

“You’re not a doctor!”

“Hey, I’m throwing this out there for you. This is a serious offer, Gwen. I want you and Rhys to think about it,” he said, settling back down and putting his arm around her again. 

“I don’t need to think about that one. No threesomes, Harkness,” Rhys said as he walked back into the hospital room. “And that’s my wife you’re spooning!” 

“I wasn’t talking about that kind of threesome, Rhys,” Jack corrected. 

“What?” Rhys asked, confused. Explaining it to him didn’t make it any better.


	2. Chapter 2

 “You want to what?!” Miranda screeched. 

“It’s a simple procedure, Will,” Jack insisted. 

She shouted. “What is simple about making a man carry a child to term? Maybe it’s ‘simple’ and ‘routine’ in the fifty first century, but I shouldn’t have to tell you that this is not the fifty first century! Goddess below, have you completely taken leave of your senses? I wouldn’t even know where to fucking begin!” 

“Remember that first physical you insisted on back at the millennium? You asked me what that organ in my gut’s for? Well, it’s an artificially created, biological womb-”

“Stop… Jack… just…” Miranda put her hands up. Her Bronze Age brain had finally reached its limit of peculiarity. 

“I’ve done it before. I can do it again,” Jack insisted. 

Miranda tried to look at this purely with clinical curiosity and asked, skeptically, “To term?” 

“Forty weeks.” 

“Would I even want to know why they use men as surrogates?” 

“Because they can,” Jack said, simply. “At first, it started out as being able to give people what they wanted. It was same sex couples or triads or committed groups wanting genetic children together. Then it was wanting the experience of pregnancy. It just steam rolled. No one thinks about it like that by my time, Will. It’s just… It’s just the way it is. Asking why men are used as surrogates is like asking why men learn to cook.” 

As she flipped through the pages, she asked, “Please tell me you haven’t mentioned this hair brained scheme to Gwen and Rhys yet?” 

Jack’s silence and slightly sheepish expression were all Miranda needed. She bellowed, “How dare you do this them!” 

“I’m trying to help!” 

“By giving them false hope?” Miranda shook her head and rested her hand on her forehead. “I’m not an obstetrician! At the very least, I will need Martha to consult on this and she's not an obstetrician either! I can’t even think where to begin! I have abso-fucking-lutely no idea how to prepare this artificial organ of yours for the implantation of an embryo. Or how to implant the embryo itself. Or maintain the pregnancy while ensuring the health of the fetus..." she trailed off, her head spinning from all the details. 

Jack leaned, opening his desk drawer. He took out a thick binder and dropped it in front of her. 

“What the fuck is this?” she asked, angrily scooping up the book. Her eyes went wide.  

“How to get me pregnant and carry to term,” he said simply. “Soup to nuts.” 

Miranda flipped through the pages. Her jaw opened and dropped as she read further. The gall on this man! “You’re telling me a fifty first century male obstetrics textbook, translated into twenty first century English just magically dropped out of the rift?” There was only one place this could’ve come from. She narrowed her eyes at him. “Did you send my husband for this?”  

“It doesn’t matter where it came from, Will,” he said, shrugging. His overly innocent tone was enough for her. 

She was furious. She angrily cried, “Goddess below, Jack! You know his manipulator isn't functioning properly. It's been giving him that error message for months. He could've ended up anywhere or anywhen! How could you?” 

“He was willing to take the risk,” Jack said. He added, just as innocently, “He got his manipulator fixed while he was there.” 

Hart taking his manipulator to the fifty-first century was an incredible risk. He would have had to impersonate an alternate version of himself and taken it in for official repair. To walk up to the Time Agency and hand over his only means of returning safely to the twenty first century was utter insanity. And it was the beginning of a series of events that would cost him his life. 

“It’d already happened, Will,” Jack said, softly.  

She didn’t want to visit the topic of her husband’s death. “What do Gwen and Rhys say about this?” 

“They wanted to make sure it was safe for me and the baby but they’re willing to try if you and Martha are,” Jack said, confident. “They only have two frozen embryos left.” 

“And they've only had a single cycle of IVF. She can have more on the NHS," Miranda insisted.

Jack pointed out. “This could work, Will!”

“You’re desire to help is admirable, Jack. But there are a lot of details to consider-”

“Gwen, Rhys and I will work out the other details privately,” Jack said, coldly. 

“I’m not trying to be nosy, Jack,” Miranda said, defensive. “These miscarriages are crushing them. Whether or not it’s you or Gwen, it won’t make a difference.” 

“I think this has a real chance.” He stabbed his finger onto the textbook.

Miranda folded her arms over her chest. “You don’t know that removing Gwen from the equation will change anything. There could be a genetic issue.” 

“They’ve done genetic counseling,” Jack said. 

“Twenty first century genetic counseling,” Miranda pointed out. “There are probably hundreds, nay thousands of genetic abnormalities that could account for their troubles that we simply don’t know about. Genetics is a young science.” 

Jack put up both his hands, defensively. “I’m not saying anything bad about Gwen but I’ve done this before. I can do it again.” 

She hated to admit it, but Jack had done his homework. She wanted to dismiss the whole idea, but there was real possibility here. The textbook was the key. With it to guide them, they just might be able to pull it off. She picked it up and began flipping through it. It was extremely comprehensive. 

As she turned the pages, she asked, "What do Ifan and Alicia have to say about all this?"  

“What?” he asked, confused. 

“You didn’t talk to your partners about you carrying another person’s child?” Miranda slammed the binder shut. “You have to talk them, Jack. They should have a voice in this too."

“What? Why? It’s my decision, Will. This is my womb we're talking about here,” Jack said, still confused. 

“Woefully obtuse, as usual. This is going to completely change yours lives. There’s a significant amount of mental strain dealing with a pregnant partner. Not to mention the fact that you’re going to be touching a nerve for Ifan.” 

“What nerve?” Jack asked, completely missing the point. 

“Immortals of the Game cannot have children,” Miranda said, softly. She saw the lightbulb finally go off over his head. Jack’s face immediately fell. She closed the binder and put it down. “He’s at the age where people-normal people-start families. I have no idea how he’ll react to this decision of yours but you need to sit down and talk about it. You might think this decision has no bearing on your partners, but it does. Quite a bit in fact.” 

Miranda saw Jack’s eyes lose focus. The man was already trying to predict how they would react. She brought the flat of her hand down onto the desk. 

“Don’t you dare go letting your mind run away with itself. You wait and you sit them down and you talk to them.” She glared at him. “I mean it, Jack. There’s a lot to consider here and it’s not just about you being all right with the procedure.” She picked up the book and walked away. She had a lot of reading to do. 

* * *

“You want to what?” Ianto and Alicia shouted simultaneously. 

When his husband had sat him and Alicia down at the end of the day, and said he needed to talk to them about something serious, this was absolutely the last thing Ianto thought would come out of his mouth. 

Slowly, Jack repeated, “I want to be a surrogate for Gwen and Rhys.” 

Ianto opened his mouth and then shut it again. He put his hands on his waist and paced, turning back and forth for a minute. He opened his mouth a few times to say something, but immediately shut it again and resumed his pacing. 

“You know, when you told me about that bloody artificial womb of yours, I thought you were having one over on me,” Ianto said, shaking his head.

Alicia said, "Wait a minute, I wasn't here for that conversation. What womb?"

"It's just like yours," Jack replied.

"Excuse me?" Alicia cried. "What do you mean 'just like yours'? You're not stealing my fucking tampons are you?"

Jack shook his head. "I don't have the hormonal cycle you do. When testosterone is the dominant hormone in the system, it atrophies. All it takes is a few hormone injections to wake it up."

Alicia closed her eyes and shook her head. "My life has become so surreal. Not only am I sharing my life with two immortal men, but one of them is from the future and apparently has a fucking uterus." She waved at Jack. "Is there a fucking vagina down there too I haven't seen yet?" 

"No," Jack said, rolling his eyes. 

She stood up and walked towards the kitchen. "You know I have never drank as much as I have since I've met the two of you." She unscrewed the cap on the bottle of rum and cracked open a can of soda. 

"It's an artificial, biological womb, grown from my own DNA," Jack said.

Alicia shut her eyes as she dumped the rum into a large glass. "Can you stop for a second, Jack, and let me get some fucking liquor into me before you say any more."

Once the soda was poured over the rum, Alicia knocked back about a quarter of the glass. "You were saying?" 

"I was born on the Boeshane Peninsula. It's in the middle of no where. I needed money to get to a core planet so I could take the entrance exams for the Time Agency," Jack explained. 

"So you decided on surrogacy?" Alicia asked, incredulously. "Because, sure, why the fuck not? What? You didn't feel like working in retail?" 

Jack rolled his eyes. "I'm from the fifty-first century, Alicia. No one looks twice at a pregnant man in my time. They're as common as pregnant women." 

Ianto shook his head and buried his face in his hands. “If Owen could be a fucking fly on the wall…” 

He sat down on the sofa, hard and ran his hands through his hair. “What do you expect me to say to this, Jack?” 

“I was hoping we could all talk about it,” Jack said, sheepishly. He dug at the carpet with his sock covered toe. 

“This is absolutely, hands down, the most bizarre thing you have ever asked of me,” he said, mostly to himself. 

Jack giggled and said, “Well, if you’re counting-”

“Don’t. Just. Fucking. Don’t.” Ianto held up his hand to forestall the long list of unusual sexual propositions he’d received since he’d started sharing Jack’s bed. He gave Jack a glare and the playful look vanished off Jack’s face. He could see Alicia had been giving Jack a warning look that he had ignored. 

“Sorry," Jack said, sheepish. 

“I just… Right. Right…. I need some air,” Ianto said. He grabbed his coat and sword and headed for the door. 

Alicia said, “Ianto, wait, I get this is one seriously fucked up situation, but we can all talk about this.”

Jack leapt to his feet and said, "C'mon, Ianto-"

“Just give me some space. I just... I need some space right now.” 

He turned and walked away as fast as he could, grabbing his coat on the way out. He didn’t stop until he got to the invisible lift. He activated it, riding it up to the Plass. Normally, he’d send a quick text to his Watcher, Shawn Graham, if he was leaving the Hub so that Shawn could follow him. He didn’t bother this time. He just strode off the paving stone and picked a direction at random. Shawn, ever watchful, spotted him and followed. For the first time, it annoyed Ianto. He wanted to be alone.

He continued to walk without direction or destination, staring at his feet. He could hear Shawn behind him. His phone went off a few times. When he took it out, he saw it was just Alicia, asking him if he was all right. He sent her a text that he was fine, just wanted to be alone. It was raining and his coat was soaked through and he was out in the open, emotionally distraught. Realizing his foolishness, he identified where he was and then walked to the nearest church. When he pulled on the doors, they were locked. He hung his head, shaking a bit. Figures… It was late. He turned around and leaned against the door. He tilted his head back, feeling the raindrops on his face. He checked his watch. He’d been out just under a half hour. 

He saw Shawn standing on the other side of the street. The poor man didn’t even have a brolly. His coat collar was turned up against the rain and the wind. His hair was dripping, and like Ianto, he was soaked through. Ianto looked up and down the street, making a decision. He jogged over towards Shawn. The young man looked quite alarmed and surprised. 

“Let’s find somewhere dry. I might not be able to catch my death of cold, but you will standing out here when it's pissing down,” Ianto offered. 

Shawn asked, delicately, “Were you meeting someone?” 

Ianto shook his head. “No, honestly, mate, I wasn’t. I just… the three of us had a row... I needed a bit of space so I decided to have a walk. Realised I should probably find a safe place.” 

Shawn accepted the answer and fell into step beside Ianto. He may have been walking in the cold rain, but he’d kept to a fairly tight area. He was down the street from Henry and Fish’s loft. He turned the corner and saw a young woman with a cane. It was Ashley Greenfield, Henry’s Watcher and Shawn's girlfriend. She’d lost her leg in a train derailment while following Henry to London. In fact, Henry had paid for her artificial limb himself, buying his Watcher the best he could find. Ianto started to walk towards her, but she shook her head, only smiling and giving a slight wave of greeting. 

Shawn turned to Ianto. He looked at the loft and then at Ashley. “Thanks, mate. We'll be fine.” 

“You sure?” 

“Positive,” he said, sheepishly. "Maybe a little somethin' somethin' in my future tonight, if you know what I'm sayin'." 

“Good luck, mate,” Ianto said with a sly smile. He turned for the building door. He walked up to the panel and pressed the button. It was nearly a full minute before Henry’s Received Pronunciation said, “Yes?” 

“Henry? It’s Ianto. Can I come up, mate?” he said. 

“Of course, lad," he replied and the door buzzed. 

Ianto pushed it open. Halfway up the lift, he felt the pressure between his temples. Despite the fact he was visiting a friend, Ianto still put his hand into his coat. He wrapped his fingers around his sword’s hilt as he strode up to the door. It opened all on its own, Henry standing in the doorway, also with his sword in his hand. 

“Is something the matter?” he asked. 

Ianto shook his head. “Just needed to dry off. I’m sorry to just pop round without ringing first.” 

“Nonsense, you’re always welcome here, lad, at any hour of the day or night, for any reason or no reason at all,” Henry said, opening the door widely and putting down his weapon. “Tea?” 

“Please, black,” Ianto said.

“Did Ashley and Shawn want to come up?” Henry asked. "It is quite wet out."

“No, they’ve gone off home,” Ianto replied. He handed Henry his wet coat. 

“I’ll put this into the machine to dry,” Henry said with a smile. “Your shirt and vest?” 

"Thanks, Henry," Ianto said. His shirt was dripping as he removed it and he was shivering. 

Henry raised an eyebrow. "On second thought, lad, would you like a complete change of clothes?" 

He opened his mouth to refuse, but said, "I doubt anything you have would fit me."

"I'm sure my dressing gown will do until these are dry," Henry said. He turned towards the bedroom. "One moment, lad."

"Where’s Fish?”

“Right here, mate,” Fish said, coming out of the hallway. He was wearing a pair of pyjama bottoms and a plain white t-shirt. He handed Ianto a towel to dry himself off with. “I’d offer you a dry shirt but none of ours would fit you.”

Before he could ask if something was wrong, Ianto said, “Henry's loaning me his dressing gown. I just wanted to dry off a bit and then I’ll be out of your way.” 

“You decided to have a walk when it’s completely pissing down? You sure everything’s all right?” Fish asked. 

Ianto scrubbed at his face. “You wouldn’t fucking believe me if I told you. I’ve absolutely…” He shook his head. “I don’t even know where to start.” 

“The beginning is usually the wisest place,” Henry said with a smile. "My dressing gown is hanging in the washroom, lad. Go on and change. Bring me your trousers and pants. I'll dry them for you." 

Just as Ianto went into the washroom, the kettle went off. By the time he returned to the lounge, Henry had set the steaming cup of tea down on the coffee table. Ianto sat down on the sofa, mindful he was completely nude in a dressing gown that was too small for him. He gave Henry a scolding look when the other man attempted to catch a glimpse of his wedding tackle as he sat. After draping the towel across his neck, he used the end to wipe his face even though it was dry. Then, he carefully repeated what Jack had asked of him. 

His two friends listened patiently and then Henry got up and walked over to his liquor cabinet. He poured out three good measures of whiskey and handed a glass to each of them. 

“Joe, I believe there is no limit to how strange my life has become since you and Mao-Lin have involved me in Torchwood,” he said, knocking back the liquor in one swallow. He went back to the liquor cabinet for the bottle and poured himself some more. "And as I am an immortal of the Game, born in the sixteenth century, I believe that is saying something." 

“Something I think every day, Henry,” Fish said. He also swallowed his drink in one go and had Henry pour him another. “What are you going to do, mate?” 

“I don’t know,” Ianto replied. He leaned backwards. He dug the heels of his hands into his forehead and then let them flop back down this sides. He shook his head. “How can I say I’m against it?” 

“Are you?” Henry asked. 

“I don’t know,” Ianto replied. “How can I say no when Gwen and Rhys have been trying so hard? How can I stand in the way? How can I do that to them?” 

“I get that this has been hard for them, Ianto, but that isn’t on you. Yeah, we’re a family and, yeah, we should be there for them but this is going above and beyond in a way that no one in this fucking century is prepared for. There are more conventional options like adoption,” Fish said, shrugging. He gave a nervous laugh. “Not to mention normal twenty first century surrogacy with a woman.” 

All three of them let out a nervous chuckle. 

“I don’t think I’m against it.” Ianto looked at Henry. “It’s just… it’s not sitting right.” 

“We cannot have children of our own,” he said, refreshing everyone’s drinks again. “If fatherhood is something you wish to experience-”

“This isn’t about Jack carrying a child for us to raise, Henry. This is about him doing Rhys and Gwen a favour,” Ianto corrected.

“Some big bloody fucking favour, mate,” Fish said. “Carrying a baby’s a bit more involved than helping them move or giving someone a lift to the airport."

“But is that what you want? Does Jack wish to sever all ties to this child? He doesn’t want to be involved in anything other than the pregnancy?” Henry asked. 

“I don’t know,” Ianto replied.

“You must talk to him and Alicia. These are things that you must work out together; find out what you can live with, together.” Henry gave Fish a cautious glance and then said, “Forever is a long time to live with regret, lad.” 

Ianto stared down into his glass. He didn’t look up as he said, “When I looked at Lisa, I saw a future together. That's what men see in women isn't it? That little glimmer of immortality in the children they can give us. I saw a little boy or girl with my nose and her curly hair.” He felt tears prickling at his eyes. The question was out before he could stop it. “I know I can’t have children now, but could I ever?” 

“No, my friend. Even before our first death, we never produce sperm,” Henry said, solemnly. His voice took on a lighter tone. “I’m afraid you’ve been shooting blanks all your life.” 

Ianto laughed wryly. When he and Lisa had become monogamous, they'd had all the proper testing done and Lisa had gone on oral contraceptives. She hadn't reacted well to it, putting on a fair amount of weight and suffering from mood swings. Now, Ianto felt badly for putting her through that for nothing. He took another large sip of his drink. 

“Henry’s right, mate. I get this is a truly fucked up situation and we’re here for you, we are, but you need to talk to Jack and Alicia,” he said, tilting his head. He asked, gently, “You want to stay?” 

Before he knew what he was doing, Ianto found himself nodding. In the past, Ianto would've had to return before Jack worked himself into a near panic. Now, Alicia would keep him calm. He sent a small text to Alicia telling her where he was and not to worry, even though he knew they would anyway. Henry got up and refreshed his drink again. He put his hand on his shoulder. 

“I’ll set the guest room up for you,” Henry said with a smile. 

"Thanks, Henry."

Ianto slept well in Fish and Henry’s guest room, but that might have something to do with not having Jack and Alicia snoring next to him. The liquor in his system had sent him to sleep almost immediately. He’d woken with a bit of a headache, but it wasn’t anything a fair amount of water and some paracetamol wouldn’t solve. It’d been a surprise to him that a bullet to the chest wouldn’t cause any lasting damage, but he could still suffer from a hangover. He’d woken extremely early, before dawn. Fish and Henry had still been asleep, so Ianto had left a note thanking them. Henry had left his suit on a hanger on the guest room door handle. 

It didn’t surprise him when he saw that Jack’s office light was on and the fifty first century man was bent over paperwork. It was probably taking a monumental amount of self control for Jack to not leap from his desk and bolt across the Hub at the sound of the invisible lift’s gears. Alicia was probably downstairs in their flat. Ianto stepped into Jack’s office cautiously. He shut the door behind him. After hanging his sword, he leaned against it.

“I’m sorry for the way I left last night,” he said, sincerely. 

“It’s okay, Yan. I forget when I am sometimes. I never have to hide with you and Alicia." 

Jack put the paperwork down and laid his pen across it. It wasn't the first time Jack had made the mistake. What was a normal fifty first century suggestion completely threw off his twenty first century partners. 

“I know, Jack. Where's Alicia?” he replied. 

"She's right here," Alicia said. 

Ianto turned. She was wearing a pair of pajamas with fuzzy slippers. He walked over to her. "I'm sorry."

"It's all right," she said. Then raised her eyebrow. "But you know I don't like mediating between you two. I'm more than a moderator in this relationship."

"I know. I'm sorry. I should've talked to you both instead of reacting to only Jack."

"Apology accepted," she said, smiling. 

Jack said, "I was just apologizing for forgetting that I'm not in the fifty first century anymore."

Ianto let go of Alicia and put his hands into his pockets. He slowly meandered towards his husband. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to but I need time to catch up sometimes. I understand why you want to do this. I want to help them too.” 

He walked around to Jack’s side of the desk. He leaned against it, half sitting, half standing and crossed his arms over his chest. “How does this usually work in the fifty first century?” 

Jack sat back in his chair. “It depends. In commercial surrogacy, you’re an incubator. You’re paid your fee and that’s that.” 

“That’s what you did before?” Alicia asked. 

He nodded. “The artificial womb’s left in place so there’s less work next time. It can be a good living if you tolerate the procedure well.” He leaned back further, putting his feet up onto his desk. “With private surrogacy like this, it depends on the situation.” 

“Have Gwen and Rhys told you want they want?” Ianto asked. 

“I just mentioned the possibility to them. We hadn’t discussed anything. This isn’t just about me and them, Yan. You’re both a part of this too.” 

“So they haven’t even said yes, yet?” he asked, surprised. 

Jack shook his head. “They wanted to talk about it too.” 

Alicia frowned and said, "Okay, maybe I'm stating the obvious here, but why don't I do it?"

"What?" Jack asked. 

"What?" Ianto gasped. 

She took on a teasing tone. "I mean, I'm sure it sounds silly. Because if Gwen and Rhys are looking for a surrogate, I can see why the immortal guy from the fifty-first century with the artificial uterus'd be the logical choice over the perfectly healthy woman who was actually born with one." 

Ianto let out a snort and started to laugh.  

"But if you'd like to go with this whole male pregnancy thing..." Alicia said, sarcastically. 

Jack blinked at her. "You'd be willing to do that?" 

"Of course," Alicia said. "I had no idea it was something they were considering. I was going to offer, but I didn't know how to do it without offending or upsetting Gwen." 

Ianto frowned and said, "Are you sure you want to do this, Alicia? You've never been pregnant before."

Alicia paused and said, "Actually, I have."

"You have?" Jack said, surprised. 

She nodded. "A condom broke on me once. Well not on me. More in me and on him. Whatever. Never mind." She let out a frazzled breath. "Anyway. Long story short, I... I had an abortion."

Ianto reached for her, but she shook her head. "Really, I'm cool with it. It wasn't a decision I wrestled with or agonized over or anything like that. I'm just sad that it didn't happen at the right time. I do want that for myself someday."

The two men shifted, uncomfortable, and Alicia rolled her eyes. She stood up and said, "If you hear from them, let them know that we talked and that I'm willing if they are."

She walked out of the room and said, angrily, "I'm going to go take a shower and get ready for work. The two of you can wipe that panicked fucking look off your faces, for fuck's sake, I didn't say now or even with the two of you."


	3. Chapter 3

Alicia never believed in fate or destiny, but the way her life was unfolding certainly felt like it. First Jack and Ianto, and now this opportunity to be a surrogate for Gwen and Rhys. It was like she was being swept along in someone else's plan. 

She'd snipped and teased Jack about his surrogacy, but back in law school, a friend of hers had suggested egg donation as a way for Alicia to make a lot of money. She'd looked into it and was astonished to discover how much money she could make. She was intelligent, healthy, and had light hair and eyes-all desirable characteristics that could make her five figures. It sounded like easy money, but Alicia was always wary of things like that sounded too good to be true.

But becoming a surrogate was a horse of a different color from egg donation. Instead of medications to create many eggs, Alicia would only have to become pregnant and carry to term. Of course, it sounded simple, but she investigated it nonetheless. There were several risks to her, medically, but it was not much different than if she were to become pregnant on her own. 

As a lawyer, she'd also done research into the legalities of surrogacy. She was surprised to learn, under UK law, she held all the rights to the child, even though she wouldn't be genetically related to it. If she changed her mind after the baby was born and wanted to keep it, Gwen and Rhys had no claim. To give Gwen and Rhys peace of mind, she researched creating some manner of contract, but again, was surprised to learn the English courts wouldn’t enforce it.

The only thing that made Alicia a less than ideal surrogate was that she had not carried to term and given birth. Alicia found it hysterical that, in that respect, Jack was a more qualified surrogate.

When Gwen and Rhys asked Alicia how involved with the baby she wanted to be, Alicia had been taken aback. She'd had no idea she'd even be asked and had had no idea how to answer. All she knew was that she did not want to be a mother at this point in her life. She didn't feel the need to be part of parental decisions and choices, but she was positive she would want to see the baby as he or she grew. Gwen and Rhys whole heartedly agreed Alicia would be able to see the child whenever she wished.

With everyone agreed, Alicia began taking hormones to ready her body to accept the frozen embryo. Not surprisingly, Gwen and Rhys hadn't wanted to be present for its implantation, or be a part of the process until the birth. Gwen's miscarriage had been too recent and there were too many complex emotions. Jack and Ianto had gone with her. The three of them had had a good laugh when the nurse had assumed Alicia was becoming a surrogate for Jack and Ianto. 

Once the procedure was complete, they waited.

Alicia was immediately taken out of the field and she didn't mind. No one wanted to take any chances there. What annoyed her was that Jack and Ianto, and every man in the Hub had started treating her as if she were a fragile piece of glass. She had no idea how Gwen had tolerated it during her other pregnancies. 

No one would let her carry anything or allow her to get up to get something for herself. Admittedly, she'd liked being waited on hand a foot at first, but it got old quick. After a week, Jack and Ianto began constantly asking her how she was feeling and when she'd caught them counting her tampons, she had had enough and had yelled at the both of them. 

What she hadn't wanted to admit when she'd found them with the tampons spread out across the bed was that her period was late. It was only two days, but she didn't want to get anyone's hopes up. She'd been a couple days late before. It didn't happen frequently, but it had happened. Gwen and Rhys had had enough disappointment and they didn't want to be told until the pregnancy had been confirmed.

She'd tried not to not think about it, but it was hard to not pay attention to the changes in her own body. Time after time, she reminded herself that what she was feeling was in line with her usual premenstrual symptoms, and not necessarily pregnancy related. She felt uncomfortable and bloated, but that was normal. Her breasts were tender and sore, but that was also normal. She needed to keep calm and just wait. She hadn't taken a test yet. She wanted to give it a few more days.  

That had been her plan, until this morning.

She'd been standing in the Hub kitchen, pouring out a cup of coffee when Ianto had come in with the team's breakfasts. One whiff of the bacon on Ianto's sarnie was all it had taken for her stomach to roll. She stood there, trying not to be sick. The normally appetizing smell of bacon had changed to something foul. When she'd been a little girl, there'd been a school trip to a farm. The farm had been disgusting. The animals had been poorly tended and the pig pen had stank of filth and pig. And that was exactly what the bacon smelled like. 

_I'm pregnant._

She couldn't believe it. She was only three days late. Lunch was the first subtle opportunity for her to nip out for a pregnancy test. She kept cursing the fact she hadn't thought to keep a test on hand. When she got back, she locked herself in the flat's bathroom. She ripped open the package, and checked the instructions. After she'd peed, set the timer on her phone and waited. Don't look at it... don't look at it... she thought as she tapped her foot and stared at the wall. The timer went off, she took a deep breath, and turned, with her eyes closed. After taking another breath, she opened her eyes, expecting a single line.

There were two.

_There's two!_

She squealed with delight and grabbed the test. After throwing open the door, she rushed out so she could tell Jack and Ianto... and walked right in to Ianto's chest. "Woah!"

"Something you want to tell us, cariad?" he asked, smirking.

Jack was standing behind him, looking smug. She couldn't even muster up annoyance that they'd been spying on her. She grinned and held up the stick. Her hand was shaking and the stick was vibrating so fast, neither man could probably even read it. She shouted, "I'm pregnant!" 

The men swept her into their arms, gleefully shouting. She bounced up and down and clapped. "I wish I could call Gwen and Rhys and tell them!" 

Jack laughed and said, "We'll make the appointment and then we'll call them." 

Alicia kissed them both and said, "Let's go out and celebrate!" 

"How about we make that appointment first?" Jack said, grinning. "Then we'll go to dinner." 

Ianto turned to Alicia and asked, "Midwife or obstetrician?" 

She blinked. "Uhh... I dunno... I hadn't thought about it." 

"Where do you want to have the baby?" Jack asked. 

"In a hospital," Alicia replied, instantly. "With drugs. Lots of fucking drugs." 

Ianto laughed. "How about we start with a midwife? My sister said had an obstetrician for David and a midwife for Mica. She said she liked the midwife better." 

Alicia shrugged. "Midwife it is then." 

Ianto grinned and dialed the local surgery. They referred him to a midwife. Once they’d secured an appointment for tomorrow, they went out to celebrate at their favorite bistro. Alicia didn't even miss her glass of wine with dinner. Both men doted on her the rest of the evening and into the next day. She was glad they'd gone out because the fatigue and nausea were already hitting her.

The morning of the appointment, her breakfast had come right back up. Ianto had wanted to push her to eat lunch, but the mere mention of food made her six different shades of green. In the afternoon, she'd gone to the appointment with Jack and Ianto by her side. The pregnancy was confirmed and estimated at six weeks. The appointment had been lengthy, as the midwife had discussed a schedule for Alicia's antenatal care. She left with several ultrasound pictures and a bag of goodies, with her head spinning from the information. 

They'd rang Gwen and Rhys to report the good news. Obviously hesitant to celebrate, Gwen and Rhys were more reserved, but we’re still pleased. By the time the three of them got back to the Hub, Alicia felt even sicker and had gladly followed Ianto's suggestion to lay down. 

The next morning, Alicia felt much better and ate a fairly good breakfast, but within an hour it had come back up. She’d decided to ring the midwife, concerned, but the midwife reassured her it was normal. She advised Alicia to ring back if the vomiting became excessive, but it seemed confined to the morning.

Once Alicia got into her day, she felt better. It was truly adorable the way Jack and Ianto doted on her as the fatigue worsened.

_Man, I thought I knew tired before_ , she thought as she got dressed. She actually had to pause several times. Her arms just didn't seem to want to cooperate. She was sitting on the edge of the bed with her blouse in her hand, trying to will the strength to put it on.

It had only been a week since the positive pregnancy test and the fatigue was by far the worst of the symptoms and getting worse with every day. She lifted her arms to try and put on her blouse and then dropped them again. She'd already rang the midwife about the bone crushing fatigue. The midwife hadn't been concerned, but Alicia went and had some blood drawn anyway, just to make sure she wasn't anemic. After the results came back all normal, the midwife advised her to listen to her body because growing another human being was a lot of work. She decided to follow her advice. 

With a deep breath, she reached over for the comm unit. She put it into her ear and hit the button twice for her private channel with Jack and Ianto.

"Alicia?" Ianto's concerned voice asked.

"Hey, babe, I'm not feeling well. I'm going to lay back down," she said.

"Do you need one of us to come down?" he asked, the concern ratcheting up.

"No, I'm just really fucking tired," she replied. She paused and added, "My arms feel like they're full of lead and I think that's a sure sign I need to get back into bed."

"I'll be down in a minute," he said.

She didn't even try to argue. There was no point. In a matter of minutes, the flat door opened.

"Alicia?" Ianto asked, stepping into the room. There was deep concern etched on his face.

"I'm fine, babe," she said, handing him the blouse. "I'm just tired."

Ianto unzipped her skirt and helped her out of it. "You get into bed and rest."

She nodded. "That's my new plan."

She slipped off her stockings and tossed them towards the hamper. When they landed on the floor, Ianto picked them up and dropped them in. He helped her into bed and pulled the blankets up over her. Then, he went into the en suite and got her a glass of water. He set it down on the bedside table.

"You rest, cariad," he said, softly. "I'll be down to check on you soon."

"Thanks," she replied over a yawn.

Usually, she slept in the middle, enjoying the warmth. This time, she settled into Ianto's pillow, then she reached across the bed and grabbed Jack's pillow, hugging it into her chest. She was asleep in moments. 

She felt much better when she woke around noon. After a quick shower, she joined the rest of the team upstairs. Her nausea and fatigue had improved with the rest. She wondered if the intense fatigue was some sort of delayed reaction to her caffeine withdrawal. 

Just as she began to feel grateful for the lack of nausea and fatigue, another troubling symptom appeared. She began to feel some light cramping. Alarmed, she'd rang the midwife's surgery. She was positive the woman was tired of her constant phone calls by now, but the midwife encouraged her to come in for a check. 

Jack and Ianto had offered to go with her, but Alicia insisted she was fine on her own and it would likely be a big waste of everyone's time. And it had been. The midwife said everything looked great. Alicia apologized for wasting her time, but the sweet woman had said reassuring a patient is never a waste of time, and then given her a friendly pat on the shoulder. 

Feeling faintly silly for all this anxiety, Alicia returned to the Hub. The nausea was back and she'd only picked at her dinner. She let Ianto and Jack tuck her into bed, hoping the cramping would subside by morning, but it didn't.

The midwife had advised her to ring immediately if there was any spotting or bleeding, but thankfully, there wasn't. To stay on the safe side, Alicia decided to spend the day resting and she clearly needed it. Once she was alone in the bed, she must've fallen back to sleep, because the next thing she heard was Jack. She blinked and looked up to see Jack carrying a tray of food. 

He set the tray down and asked, "Feeling any better?"

"Yeah, still a little tired and queasy," she said. As she sat up, "And a little dizzy. That's new."

Jack looked concerned. "Maybe I'll rearrange things for someone to come down here. I don't want you getting up on your own if you're dizzy."

Alicia nodded. "Normally, I'd argue, but I don't want to crack my head against something if I fall." 

Jack tapped his comm unit and had a brief conversation while Alicia tucked into her lunch. He turned to her and said, "Ben's setting up a rota." 

She nodded as she ate. Once she'd eaten to Jack's satisfaction and promised to rest, he took the tray back upstairs. Captain Hart drew the short straw and ended up sitting in the lounge while she rested. When she needed to use the loo, he helped her out of bed. It was a good thing he was there too, because she wobbled when she stood.

"Woah! Easy there, Peaches," he said, softly.

After Hart had helped her back into bed, the cramping worsened. Frightened by the pain, she froze and decided she'd only leave the bed for the toilet. She picked up her mobile and sent a text to Miranda. 

[Hey, Miranda? Who's next on the rotation to sit with me?]

[I am]

[Okay]

When Hart and Miranda exchanged places, Miranda appeared in the bedroom with a tray of scones. Alicia's eyes went wide at the pot of clotted cream. It was her weakness. Miranda set the tray down across her legs and sat down on the bed. Alicia liberally spread the cream onto one of the scones. Once she'd finished eating it, Miranda asked, "Are you all right?"

Alicia didn't answer her friend for a few minutes. She stared at the plate and fearfully said, "I'm cramping."

"But not spotting?" she asked.

Alicia shook her head.

"I understand that cramping is disconcerting, but without bleeding cramping on its own is not a sign of miscarriage. Your uterus is adjusting to its new occupant. There is a great deal of expansion to be done." 

"If I'm miscarrying, what we do?" Alicia asked.

"I'm afraid, nothing," Miranda replied, sadly. "You’re only ten weeks pregnant. In a pregnancy this early, a miscarriage is likely due to a chromosomal abnormality and the fetus itself isn't viable." 

Alicia shut her eyes and nodded. "Thanks, Miranda." 

"If you're concerned, I could ring your midwife, get you in for testing..." she offered. 

"No, it's all right. I was just there yesterday," Alicia replied. "You're probably right and it's nothing. I'm just nervous, you know? This baby isn't mine. It's like being left to take care of someone's most prized possession."

Miranda nodded. "I understand. Would you like for me to examine you? Would it make you feel better?"

Alicia shook her head. "It's all right. Thank you though."

With a smile and another nod, Miranda reached for the tray.

"Leave it, I'll finish the other scone. That friggin' cream's addictive." 

With a smile and a nod, Miranda left the room. Not a few moments later, Jack appeared. 

"Hey, just checking on how you're feeling," he said, brightly. 

A little confused, Alicia pointed at the door. "Is Miranda still out there?"

"She went back upstairs," Jack replied. He turned and asked, "Do you want me to get her?" 

"No, she just got here though." 

Jack shrugged. "I figured I'd come down here early."

"How is it going upstairs?" she asked.

"Everything's under control, hun," Jack said. He hopped onto the bed and picked a piece of scone off her plate. 

"You touch that clotted cream and I will cut you," she snapped.

"Wow, don't touch the pregnant lady's food, got it," he said, with a laugh. 

She smiled, but it was brief as a painful and strong cramp lanced up her belly.

_It's fine... It's fine..._

Jack began to prattle on about what was happening upstairs. Alicia was only half listening to him as the cramping in her belly waxed and waned. It was strange how it got worse, then got better, only to get worse again. 

"Hey? You okay?" he asked. 

She took a deep breath. "Yeah." 

A twinge in her bladder made her roll her eyes. "Ugh, again! I've been pissing like a fucking race horse ever since this started."

"It's the hormones," Jack replied. 

"I thought this peeing thing started later when the kid's using my bladder as a trampoline," she whinged. "I'm gonna hit the head."

After throwing back the blankets, she got up and turned. There was a palm sized blood stain on the sheets. She twisted, seeing the entire backside of her pajama bottoms was soaked bright red. "Jack... JACK!" 

"Hmmm?" Jack asked as he turned. His face fell as he saw the sheets. "Oh no..." 

She looked up at him, panic in her eyes. "I'm sorry!"

The tears welled up and she tried to blink them back, but they fell. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" 

He pulled her close. "Hey, it's not your fault... shhh... It's all right..." 

"I'm sorry..." she repeated. And she didn't stop, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." 

The apologies ran together as she began to cry, the words dissolving into sobs. 

* * *

Alicia hadn't even wanted to visit a doctor, but she'd begun bleeding heavily. The midwife referred Alicia to a gynecologist who performed the procedure in hospital. Ianto and Jack were worried as as Alicia had had to be anesthetized for it, but she came through the procedure safely. Their worries didn't lessen. Once she was awake, Alicia hadn't spoken a word. She stared off, unwilling to look at either Jack or Ianto as they drove her home. Every few minutes, she would smother a sob and wipe tears from her cheeks.

Jack drove back to the Hub with a care and gentleness no one on the team would've believed possible. He parked the car and Ianto got out of the back. After opening the passenger door, he slipped his arms around Alicia and lifted her out. She didn't even protest she was capable of walking, but allowed Ianto to carry her through the Hub and down to the flat. She kept her face buried in his chest and her arms around his neck. A few of the team members cast them worried and sympathetic glances, but no one said a word, leaving them their privacy. 

Jack held each door open and Ianto went straight to the bedroom, setting Alicia down on the bed. They both worked gently, undressing Alicia and getting her into her pajamas. Once she slipped into bed, Jack kissed her forehead. He jerked his head towards the door. "I'll be just out there, all right?" 

After a few more strangled sobs, Alicia nodded and rolled over. Ianto put his hand on her shoulder, then kissed her head. 

"Try and get some sleep, cariad," he said, softly. "Do you want me to stay?" 

She shook her head. Ianto turned to leave, but stopped when she whispered, "It's all my fault." 

"It's not your fault," he insisted. 

"I knew something was wrong," she replied. "I should've gone into the doctor and done more." 

"This isn't your fault, Alicia. It's no one's fault," Ianto said, softly. He slipped into the bed next to her. "You heard the doctor. In a miscarriage this early, it means that the fetus wasn't viable. That is not your fault. That's not anyone's fault."

She nodded meekly, but Ianto could tell she didn't believe him. Maybe intellectually, but not in her heart yet.  

He kissed her hair and asked again, "Do you want me to stay? Or do you want me to go get Jack?"

She shook her head.

"Do you want to be alone?" he asked. 

She nodded. He sat down on the edge of the bed and put his hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. He leaned down, pressing himself into her. "You can be alone if you want, but don't forget, cariad, that you don't have to be." He paused. "You don't have to hide from us. You don't have to bury it." 

She nodded and reached up, squeezing his hand.

He kissed her hand, then got out of the bed. "We'll be just outside if you need anything." He paused and added, "I promise, we won't come in until you tell us it's all right." 

She nodded and bundled herself under the blankets further. As Ianto left the room, he shut the door behind him. Jack was talking into his mobile, quietly. Just as the latch clicked, he could clearly hear Alicia's unrestrained sobs. Jack snapped, "One second, Rhys."

He pressed the phone into his chest, then swiftly turned towards their bedroom, but Ianto grabbed his arm, shaking his head. "She wants to be alone with it. Let her be. You'll just embarrass her if you go in there now."

Jack looked at the door, clearly torn.

Ianto gave him a stern look and said, "I promised her."

He sighed and nodded, lifting the phone back to his ear. "Sorry... Yeah, it was... Yeah, she'll be okay... She's just upset... She feels like she's disappointed both of you and she's blaming herself... No, we know that, Rhys... Yeah... she's been crying on and off a lot... That'd be good. She's afraid Gwen's going to hate her... Okay... Uhuh... If you guys will consider it, I will too... Uhuh... Yeah... Let us know... No, take your time with it. There's no expiration date on the offer... Night, Rhys..." He rang off and then dropped his phone on the worktop. 

"They all right?" Ianto asked. 

"They're upset and disappointed, of course, but there was this... this expectation to it," Jack said, rubbing at his face. The sound of Alicia's crying had quieted. He jerked his head towards the bedroom. "Do you think she's asleep?" 

"No. You know how she is. She trying to hold it together when all it wants to do is be let out. She's so upset, Jack," Ianto said, sighing. "I'm going to call Doctor Vasquez tomorrow."

Jack scrubbed at his face. "There's only one embryo left now." 

"And you still want to carry it," Ianto said, annoyed. He waved at the bedroom. "How can you bring that up now, Jack? Christ, give it a bit, yeah?" 

"I'm sorry," he said, sighing. "I know I could do it." 

Seeing Jack wasn't going to let this go, he said, "Gwen may want to try herself." 

"And that's up to them, but if they want me to try, I'd like to," he said. 

Ianto sat down and scrubbed at his face. "It might upset Alicia."

"We have time. If it'll upset her then I won't do it," Jack said.

Ianto hugged his middle and said, "Christ, how have Gwen and Rhys gone through this so many times?" 

"I don't know," Jack said, shaking his head. 

He shook his head and said, softly, "It wasn't mine, and it'll never be mine, and it still hurts, Jack. Seeing her like this..." He looked towards the bedroom. "That's what hurts the most." 

"I know. We'll help her through it," he said. 

Ianto spoke so softly, he was almost whispering, "We're going to watch this baby form and then we're going to have to let it go. I don't know if I can do that." 

Jack sighed. "When I did it the first time, I wasn't prepared for it. I thought it would be easy, fast money. The reality was different. There was this life growing inside me. I felt it move and wiggle. A little miracle. I think about that baby... every day... I wonder what happened to it." He paused and added, "It won't be that way this time, Yan. Gwen and Rhys are family. We'll be part of this baby's life." 

"What do you think they'll decide?" Ianto asked. 

"I don't know, they said they'd talk about it," Jack replied. He looked to the bedroom door. "Do you think she's had enough time?" 

"I promised we wouldn't go in until she called for us," Ianto said, quietly. 

Jack nodded. He walked towards Ianto so he could sit. Just as Jack had sat, they heard Alicia call them. They went to her, hearts heavy.

 


	4. Chapter 4

“I cannot believe we are even having this discussion!” Rhys cried. 

“Rhys, just think-“

“No, Gwennie!” he interrupted. He stood up and started to pace the room, gesticulating as he spoke. “Do you even hear yourself? Do you know how bloody daft you sound?” 

“He’s from the future. It’s common when he’s from!” 

“Well, it’s not common here!” he shouted, pointing at the floor. He turned away from his wife, running his hand through his hair. “I’ve put up with plenty of mad shite since you started this job, Gwennie. But this takes it!” He held his hand flat out at the level of his eyes. “I’ve had it up to here with all this Torchwood nonsense! It’s one thing when you’re dashing about at all hours or coming home shot, but this? Telling my your bloody boss... your male boss... can get pregnant and wants to be our surrogate? What the hell bloody BBC channel have I been sucked into?” 

“I know it seems unorthodox-” 

“Not exactly the word I’d use for your male boss carrying a baby for us, no, Gwen!” Rhys snapped. He dropped his hands and put them on his hips. 

“We have one embryo left,” she said. She turned on the sofa, looking over the back at him. “We can try one with Jack.” 

“Alicia's miscarriage was so early. The fetus wasn't viable, Gwen. That has nothing to do with us or Alicia! We tossed the genetic dice and we lost. It happens and it's been happening to us plenty!” he protested, his voice cracking at the last phrase. He took a deep breath, then continued pacing the room. “I know Alicia doesn't want to try again just yet, but we should keep trying on our own too. We're not in a holding pattern." 

“Rhys, we can’t do this on our own. There’s something wrong with me-”

“I’ll have none of that talk! There's nothing wrong with you, Gwennie!” he barked. He pointed at her. “There's no fault here! You don't work? I don't work? It doesn't matter!” He waved back and forth between them. "It means we don't work."  

“My tubes are gone-” 

“Through no fault of yours!” he said over her. 

“Well, we can’t do this the old fashioned way!” she continued, hotly. “Look, I’m not saying it to point fingers or place blame. It’s the facts, Rhys! And you heard the doctors. No fallopian tubes. My age. The multiple losses. The odds are against us.” 

“So, it might not be about slipping one past the goalie anymore, but that doesn’t mean we’ve exhausted all the conventional options. We still have one embryo left.” He sat back down on the sofa and said, “Gwennie, I know you want one of our own. I do too. I think we should revisit becoming carers and adopting."

"You know it's not that simple," Gwen said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yes, I know it's not that simply, Gwennie. I'm in this with you and I know we've talked about it and we've looked at it. I know it's not as easy as saying, 'let's adopt.' I get that it still takes time and that it's expensive, but maybe it's time to put the idea of one of our own to bed and start that ball rolling." He sat down on the sofa and said, "Gwen. I want one that's ours too, I do. But what's the end result here? We want to be parents. We want a little one. Maybe it doesn't matter if it's our own or we call it our own." 

“I want a piece of us,” Gwen replied. "And you do too." 

Rhys sighed and returned to his original point. He stood and said, “So we can keep trying on our own." 

Gwen sat down, folding her hands in her lap. “Rhys. We don’t know if we can keep that up.” 

“We have two more cycles on the NHS. I know things'll be tight if we do it privately, but-”

“This isn’t about money,” she insisted. “The hormone therapy was hard on me and I’m not just talking about the mood swings. My blood pressure was out of control-” 

“You were fine!” he tried to interrupt.

But Gwen continued to talk over him. “The doctors wanted to put a stop to the whole thing more than once! If we lose this last embryo-” 

“You’re talking like we already have!” Rhys exclaimed. 

“And what if we do? What if the doctors tell me the hormone therapy is too big a risk and we can't do another cycle? Where are we then?” she continued, raising her voice. She was practically begging. “We might not even get another chance! This is our chance!”

Rhys didn’t answer his wife. He just stood there, shaking his head in disbelief. He still couldn’t believe they were even having this discussion. When Jack had first mentioned the whole idea, he'd thought everyone was just trying to cheer him up with a joke. He'd seen all manner of daft things. Jack had come back to life before his eyes, on more than one occasion. Somehow, his brain found that more plausible than the man getting pregnant and giving birth to a baby. 

“Rhys… Torchwood has taken so much for us why can’t it give something back for once? Jack’s done this already. He can do it again.” 

"Alicia had done it before too!" he said. 

"She didn't carry to term!"

"She had an abortion Gwennie, not a miscarriage!"

"Well now she's had one of those too!" Gwen shouted, standing. She took a breath and sat back down. "She only got pregnant on her own, and we've gotten pregnant plenty. There's forty weeks between conception and a baby!"

He threw his hands at her. The truth was, he hated to admit Gwen’s argument was a sound one. The hormone therapy had caused dangerously high blood pressure. The doctors had monitored her carefully, but at a few points, they had wanted to stop the treatments. Even though they’d sat them down and talked about stroke risk and blood clots, they’d begged the doctors to continue and they’d gotten their embryos out of it. 

If there was one weakness Rhys Williams had, it was his wife. Those big doe eyes would look at him and he couldn’t refuse them. He wanted to make her happy and give her what she wanted, but this was just as overwhelming for him. Everyone always seemed to overlook him when it came to their losses, but they were his children too.

In fact, everyone minimized his role from the start. Admittedly, in the beginning, all he'd had to do was get his leg over, or have an awkward wank into a cup, but this was just as stressful on him as it was Gwen, though for different reasons. The rest of the process rested on Gwen's shoulders, and he hated that. He hated how much the doctors had scrutinized his wife, taking blood sample after blood sample whilst basically ignoring him. They'd mentioned her blood pressure, her hormone levels, her weight, her this or that. One doctor had reduced Gwen to tears and Rhys had given him a thorough dressing down for it. 

Everyone kept telling them to relax and that it would just happen. He wanted to punch everyone in the face who said that to them. It was degrading and humiliating and just plain fucking hurtful. No amount of fucking and relaxing would do a bloody thing for them. Rhys remembered when he'd been in school, learning sexual health. They'd said over and over to him that all it took was one! They made it sound like all he needed to do was ejaculate in a female's general direction and he'd end up a teenage father. Now that he and Gwen had been trying for years without success he felt like it had all been nothing but lies. 

The only way they could conceive a child was with the help of modern medicine. Yes, stress was a factor, but the process of infertility treatments was so stressful, Rhys was amazed they worked on anyone. The endless appointments and tests? The long array of carefully dosed drugs? It was a carefully choreographed dance the infertility specialists were familiar with, but it was completely foreign and utterly stressful to them. 

“What do Ianto and Alicia have to say about all this?” Rhys asked. 

“They're on board,” she said. 

"Are you sure about that, Gwennie? Alicia's still upset enough that she doesn't want to try again for a while. How is it going to make her feel if Jack... I can't believe I'm bloody saying this... if Jack gets pregnant?" Rhys said.

"I've already talked to Alicia about it. It's like you said, she's willing to try again, but she's not ready yet. We talked about Jack giving it a go. She said she was all right with it."

Rhys shook his head. “I don’t see how we can ask him to do this for us. To just be some sort of… incubator?” 

“It doesn’t have to be that way. We didn't want it to be that when it was Alicia either,” Gwen said, resting her hand on her husband’s. “I’d like for Jack and Ianto and Alicia to be part of the baby’s life. Everyone. The team? We're a family.” 

“They're family to me too, Gwen, which is why I'm saying it. How can we do that to them?” Rhys said, shaking his head. “Having to watch all of us grow old and die is one thing. To have Jack carry this baby and then him and Ianto will watch it grow up and… it’s almost cruel. Look at Henry and Tom. I feel awful for Henry, I do.” 

“He understands. He has Alice and Steven and the new granbaby soon. He understands.” 

“He might, but does Ianto?” Rhys asked. He ran his hand through his hair. “I think we all need to sit down and talk about this.” 

Gwen’s eyes widened with hope. “So we’re moving forward?” 

Rhys turned quickly, his hand raised. “We’re just talking. Don’t ge ahead of things, Gwennie. Let's give Alicia time to breathe." 

* * *

Even though they'd all sat down and talked when Alicia had undergone the surrogacy, they decided they needed to repeat the conversation. So, Jack, Ianto, Alicia, Gwen and Rhys had all set aside the time to talk. A lot of the conversation was repeated, but there were some new concerns and new questions. The whole process might be similar, but male pregnancy was new for everyone except Jack. Gwen and Rhys asked a lot of questions and Jack answered them. They all even met with Doctor Vasquez since the man was used to all the weird by now.

It wasn’t long before all these discussions led to plans. Soon, those plans needed to involve someone with medical knowledge and Jack couldn't go down to the local surgery. This was way over Miranda's head and since two heads are better than one, she rang Martha Jones. She sipped at her wine as she held the phone to her ear with her shoulder. 

"Thanks for all this Martha. You got the book?" she asked. 

"Yup, got it in the post this morning," Martha said. "It's a trip, isn't it?" 

Miranda could hear the pages flipping. "That it is. But all in a day's work where Torchwood is concerned." 

Martha laughed. "Or Jack Harkness." 

"Point," Miranda replied, laughing as well. "I could really use your help on this one. I'm not an obstetrician." 

"Neither am I," she said, sighing. "Think we could bring one in? Maybe someone from UNIT?" 

"Jack doesn't want to do that, and I don't blame him. That's a significant piece of foreknowledge you're holding," she said. 

"Thats very true. Well, there goes that," Martha said with another sigh. "Is this a copy?"

Miranda set her feet up onto the coffee table. "It is. I had to brush up on my reproductive medicine before I could dive in. I skimmed through it, and it looks like a lot of the book has to do with the creation and implantation of the artificial womb." 

"Yeah I'm a few hundred pages in and I'm finally getting to the part I think we'll need," Martha said. She was silent for a few moments. "Looks like it's similar to IVF in a post-menopausal woman." 

"It is," Miranda agreed.

There was some more silence. "I think we could pull it off."

"I think so too. I know you're busy, Martha-"

"I always have time for you lot, you know that," she insisted. "Gimme a week with this. I'll ring you when I'm done with the first read through."

"Thanks, Martha, we all appreciate it," Miranda said.

"Give everyone my love," Martha replied.

The ladies said their goodnights, but it wasn't the last conversation. Over the next few weeks, Miranda and Martha spent quite a few evenings on the phone, pouring over the textbook. They drew out their plan, down to every last detail. They weren't taking any chances with Gwen and Rhys's last embryo. 

Jack's artificial womb required two months of hormone therapy to prepare it for implantation, similar to what Alicia had gone through, but more extensive. Martha made multiple trips to Cardiff over that time as she and Miranda implemented their extensive plan. 

After one last ultrasound, they proclaimed Jack's artificial womb ready. Martha returned to Cardiff for the big moment. A special courier delivered the frozen embryo which was carefully defrosted and implanted. Because Jack's womb was enclosed with no outlet, they'd had to do it laparoscopically with him sedated. Unlike in the fifty-first century where they would've known immediately, they needed to wait for confirmation. Still, they proceeded as if everything had been a success. 

While they’d waited, the rift continued dropping things onto Cardiff. As with the female members of the team, Jack had been stripped of his field status, and for someone like Jack Harkness, sitting back whilst others dashed about wasn't easy. Twice a day, Miranda took Jack’s blood and doled out the pills he would have to take. Alicia and Ianto watched him like a hawk, constantly asking after how he felt. At first, Jack was patient with them, but became increasingly surly as the date for the ultrasound approached. Feeling differently wouldn't mean anything. The hormone changes were all artificial, induced by the increasing doses of medications. 

Thankfully the day of the ultrasound arrived and the rift was kind. When Alicia had done this, it had been too close to Gwen's own miscarriage for them to pluck up the wherewithal to be in the room. Now that a few more months had passed, they decided they wanted to be there. Rhys had taken the morning off from work and was nervously waiting in the autopsy bay with Gwen.  

Jack accepted the gown from Miranda and stepped behind the curtain to change.

Rhys went a few shades pink. He leaned over and whispered in Gwen’s ear, “Remind me why I wanted to be here for this?”

Gwen backhanded him against his chest. 

Jack stepped back out from behind the curtain and hopped up onto the table. He rolled over onto his side, pulling his legs up to his chest. Miranda laid a sheet over his legs and rolled the ultrasound machine so it was facing them all. Ianto and Alicia stepped next to Jack, taking his hands in theirs. Jack watched Miranda readying the probe. The cover and lubricant gave a clear picture of exactly where that probe was going. 

Feeling the awkward silence, and after giving everyone an eye roll worthy of Ianto, Jack said, “Hey, you all wanted to be here for this.” 

“Look, I thought she was going to be doing this from the front,” Rhys said, defensive. His cheeks went pinker. 

Miranda explained, “I can’t. The placement of the artificial uterus means that this is the best way to get an unobstructed view.” She leaned down and carefully lifted the sheet. "It's going to be a little cold and uncomfortable." Slowly, she inserted the probe and Jack let out a small gasp. “Sorry, Jack. Try and relax.”

She turned her attention to the screen. A few uncomfortable expressions moved over Jack’s face as Miranda twisted the probe or sank it deeper, trying to get the proper angle and depth. He shut his eyes and tucked his chin into his chest. 

“Sorry, Jack,” she said. “Martha’s better with this thing than I am. She wanted to be here, but she couldn’t get away.” 

“It’s fine, Will,” he said, taking a deep breath and squeezing Ianto’s hand. 

“Is that it?” Gwen asked. She pointed at the hollow black circle. 

Miranda shook her head. “No, it’s the bladder. And that's the prostate. But that means, I'm in the right neighborhood...” 

She sank the probe a little deeper and then changed its angle. Unable to hide her elation, she reached out for the pause button. “That’s it!” 

The image froze and printed. She tapped at a few more keys and the image enlarged. She smiled broadly as everyone huddled around the monitor. Miranda adjusted the image, and took some measurements. Gwen and Rhys were smiling, hugging each other. 

"Isn't that something!" Rhys said. He turned to Jack and squeezed his shoulder. "That's brilliant!" 

Ianto’s reaction was precisely the opposite. He stood, his mouth dropping open in surprise. Alicia has been a little further along so this image looked nothing like hers had. “That’s it?” 

"That is it..." Miranda said, smiling. The concentration on her face deepened as she took a few more measurements of the baby and the artificial womb itself. "That small round bit in the black circle.” 

“It’s so small…” he said, his voice full of awe. 

“It’s going to get a lot bigger," Miranda said, grinning. 

"We're right on time. According to the age of the implanted embryo and the time that's passed, I estimate gestation at just under four or five weeks,” Miranda said, smiling. She tapped a few more buttons. “I can't make any promises, but I might be able to..."

A rhythmic whooshing noise filled the room, rapid, steady and loud. Ianto’s jaw dropped and he inhaled a sharp breath, holding it. His other arm reached out for Alicia. He gasped, "Oh my God..." 

"Strong and steady," Miranda said, grinning. "Congratulations to you all." 

She removed the probe, disposing of the cover. After printing out a few more pictures, she looked down at Jack. Even though the image was still, everyone else’s gazes were fixed on the monitor, but Jack was looking down at his flat stomach, resting a hand there gently. Miranda reached over and put her hand on Jack’s leg. 

She held out a cloth to him and said, quietly, so the others wouldn’t hear her, she said, “You're a good man, Jack Harkness."  

Jack didn’t look up from his belly as he smiled and accepted the cloth. His mind was barely registering what Miranda was saying. A smile crept over his lips as he pressed his hand into his belly and hoped.

 


	5. Chapter 5

“Hand me some of those bags, Yan," Jack said, holding out his hand. 

Ianto transferred some of the gift bags to Jack and the three of them walked up to the attached house. Nervous and excited, Jack rapped his knuckles on the door.

It was nearly a full minute before the door swung open to reveal the exhausted face of Thomas Blount. There was a full two days worth of beard on his face and dark circles under his eyes.

The exhaustion didn't dull his spirits as he said, exuberantly, "Hey, hey! Great to see you guys! C'mon in! Steven's out at a friend's. He'll be sorry he missed all of you."

They all stepped into the house, greeting Tom in turn. Jack held back so he was last.  With a huge grin, he held out his hand and said, "Congratulations, Tom." 

Tom smiled and grasped Jack's hand. He looked a little sheepish and embarrassed, but said, "Thanks, Jack." 

"You kids decided on Henry?" Jack asked. 

"Yup. You should see my old man. I don't think I've ever seen him so proud," Tom nodded. He picked up an announcement off the stack on the side table. Jack held it and read, "Introducing Henry Jackson Blount, born 11 March, 2017 at 10:22AM, weighing 8 pounds 13 ounces, 24 inches." 

He passed the card to Alicia who squealed at the adorable pictures. "Oh my God! He's so cute!" 

Jack put his hand on Tom's shoulder, squeezing it as he entered the lounge. He set the gift bags down on the sofa, then turned and asked, "How's she feeling?" 

Tom's face filled with love. "She's doing great." His eyes flicked up the stairs. "She's amazing."

“Yes she is.” Jack glanced up the stairs. He asked, "Can I go up?" 

"Yeah, but I'll warn you, I think she's feeding him," Tom said. He turned to Ianto and Alicia and said, "You guys want a beer or something?"  

Jack took the stairs two at a time, his stomach flipping. He lightly rapped his knuckles on the partially closed door. "Alice? Honey?" 

"C'mon in, Dad," she replied.

Jack opened the door slowly. Alice was sitting in a glider chair. The baby was in her arms, nursing. She was fumbling with a cloth, one handed. 

"Hey, let me," he said, stepping forward. He took the gauzy piece of cloth from her and asked, "Where do you want it?" 

She gestured at herself. "Just lay it over us." 

He didn't understand this shame over feeding one's own child, but laid the cover over her and the baby anyway. The faint smell of baby items was making him even more queasy. 

As Alice adjusted the cover, he asked, "How are you feeling?" 

"Great. Think I'm bouncing back faster this time. Second baby and all that, even with all the space in between," she said. She paused and said, "Thank you for not coming to hospital. I promise, it wasn't like when I asked you to stay away when Steven was born. I wanted you there, Dad, I did, but I wasn't in long and I didn't want to trouble you too much. Ianto said you had a lot going on right now. Tom was cross with me for telling you not to come, but-"

Jack held up his hand, forestalling the explanation. "Sweetheart, it's all right. We understood. We didn't want to intrude either. Lots going on with a new baby."

Alice took her father's hand and squeezed. "I'm glad you're here, Dad." She looked to the door. "Ianto and Alicia here too?" 

Jack nodded. "Yup. We have gifts from the team." 

"Everything so different. All the stuff's different and I feel like there's way more of it now. At least I've done it before and know what's useless and what isn't," she said, rolling her eyes. She slipped her hand under the cover. "He's nearly done, I think. You want to burp him?"

Jack grinned and nodded, eagerly. Alice jerked her head towards the changing table. "There's a cloth over there."

He stood up and found a clean cloth and tossed it over his shoulder. By the time he got back to the ottoman, baby Henry was done with his meal. Alice passed the baby to her father. Jack smiled. Mindful of his neck, he raised the baby high above his head and spoke the words he never got to speak to Steven.

"What's that mean, Dad?" Alice asked.

"Old tradition on my world. It's said to all newborn babies, by a grandfather, or the eldest relative," Jack said, shrugging. "'Blessed is one who comes from the First and the Last, the Guide and the Way.'" 

He lowered the baby onto his shoulder and started to gently pat his back. 

"Here we are, little guy," he said, softly. "He's beautiful, honey."

"Look at you with him," Alice said, smiling.

"Nothing like holding your baby's baby," Jack said, kissing the infant. 

Alice fixed her clothing beneath the cover, then stood so she could restock the changing table. "Let me finish this and we can go down." 

Jack turned, and took a breath. Hesitantly, he said, "Before we go downstairs, honey, there was just something I wanted to tell you about." 

Alice didn't turn around and teased, "You're adding a fourth to this little group thing you have going?"

"No," he replied, seriously. "Something else." 

Alice turned and sat back down in the rocking chair. "All right, lay it on me, Dad. What sort of madness do you have going on now?"

After taking a deep breath, Jack calmly explained the surrogacy. When he was done, Alice blinked at him twice, then shook her head, looking away. "You know, just when I think you cannot possibly come up with anything else more insane, you raise the bar to new bloody heights, Dad!"

"I know this is strange for you-"

"Strange? Strange doesn't even begin to cover this!" she cried. Then she looked at baby Henry and lowered her voice. "What am I supposed to tell Steven when you come around here pregnant of all things! I've already had to tell him you're with two people and not just one and that was hard enough!" 

"That's why I wanted to tell you now, honey, because once the pregnancy starts to show, I won't be able to come around anymore unless we tell Steven the truth and I know you won't want to do that yet," Jack replied. 

"I still can't even figure out how I'm going to tell him you're his grandfather, let alone this!" she cried. "I know Gwen and Rhys are having a hard time, but for Christ's sake why you?"

"Alicia tried already," Jack replied, softly.

Alice involuntarily turned to the door. "She lost it."

Jack nodded. "She's still really upset and shaken up."

She shook her head and sighed. "Just when are you planning to do this?" 

He patted his belly, "Already done. When Ianto said we had a lot going on right now, this was what he meant. We had the embryo implanted a few weeks before you had Henry."

Her eyes went wide and her jaw dropped. She gasped, "You're telling me you're pregnant?" 

"Nearly eight weeks," he replied. He paused and said, "I'm sorry, honey."

Alice didn't say anything, just sat in the chair, shaking her head. She wouldn't look at him, her head turned away with her hand over her mouth. Her next words were forced out of a clenched jaw, "Don't apologize, Dad. It's all right." 

Jack's jaw dropped. "What?" 

After taking a very slow, very deep breath, Alicia said, "It's... It's all right, Dad. I have to admit this is the maddest thing you've ever said to me, but... it's all right. You're just trying to help them. I... I understand." 

Jack's hormones wouldn't allow him to maintain his composure. He started to cry, softly with his newborn grandson in his arms. "You don't know how much it means to hear you say that, Alice." 

She turned and walked over to her father, letting him hug her middle.

"I love you, honey." 

There was a light knock on the door and Tom asked, "Everything all right in here?" 

"Dad's just hormonal," Alice said, patting her father on the head. 

"What?" Tom asked, opening the door. He leaned in and saw Jack crying. "Oh, sympathy pains. I got those." 

"No, Dad's pregnant," she deadpanned. 

"What?" Tom exclaimed, clearly confused. 

"I'll explain later," Alice said, rolling her eyes. She gently took the baby from her father and held him out for Tom. "Will you take him down? Let Ianto and Alicia coo over him." 

"Yeah... yeah..." Tom replied, still trying to catch up. He cradled the baby in his arms, smiling down at him. "C'mon, little man, let's go meet everyone." 

After he left the room with the baby, Jack sat up. Alice leaned over and pulled some tissues out of the box. "You all right, Dad?" 

He accepted them, wiped his eyes, and blew his nose. "Yeah, you know, the hormones are a killer." 

"One day I cried because the post was late," she admitted. After a moment, she frowned. "Did you have to travel to the future to have this done."

Jack shook his head. "No, I've done it before so the artificial womb is still in place."

“You've done this before?" Alice asked, surprised.

Jack nodded, the tears starting up again. "Paid surrogacy. I needed the money." 

"So I don't have a half sibling out there a couple thousand years from now?" Alice asked. 

"I can't get pregnant spontaneously." He patted his belly. "This takes a fair amount of medical intervention. The last time, it was the same situation. I carried for another family."

She stood up, and leaned against the changing table. "Since we're on bloody uncomfortable topics, as soon as this pregnancy thing is done, I need you to figure out how to tell Steven the truth." She sighed again. "It's time. Past time, more like." 

Jack walked over to her and asked, "Just me? Or Ianto too?"

She turned and said, "All of it. You, and Ianto and Henry and Auntie."

He nodded. "We'll work something out." 

With watery eyes, she picked up the nappy. "Feels like just yesterday I was doing all this for Steven. Now he's taking his A-levels and talking about university and how he wants to spend his gap year."  

She sniffled and Jack pulled her into a hug. "I feel the same way about you, honey. Feels like yesterday you were dancing on my feet. Now you've got babies of your own." He squeezed her tightly. "I love you so much. I'm so proud of you. You're a fantastic mom." 

Soon the two of them dissolved into tears, fiercely hugging each other and laughing in between crying. There was another polite knock.

"Everything all right in here?" Ianto asked, cautiously.

Alice pulled back. "We're fine."

He opened the door, leaning in. As always, Jack could tell Ianto's concern was for him. He'd seen a lot of Jack's pain at Alice's hands. Though Jack's relationship with his daughter had vastly improved, Ianto was always on alert.

"You sure? Jack?"

"I'm fine, Yan," Jack replied. He put his arm around his daughter and squeezed. "We're fine." 

"Tom's just setting out some lunch," Ianto said. 

At the bare mention of food, Jack's stomach rolled. He made a retching noise and choked out, "I don't know if... Ut-oh..." 

He bolted, shoving Ianto out of the way, roughly. He barely made it to the loo in time. What little breakfast he'd had came flying back up. When he was done, he sat back on his heels and took a few deep breaths. He flushed the loo, then there was a knock at the door. 

"Dad? You all right?" she asked. 

"Yeah..." he called out feebly. He heaved again. 

The door swung open and Alice said, "I still have some of my morning sickness medicine. If that's safe for you, that is." 

He shook his head. "I'll be fine. I feel a little sicker this time, but the first time I did it, it was a piece of cake." 

He heaved again and Alice filled a cup of water for him. "I was fine with Steven, but with Henry, the sickness was something awful." 

Jack laughed accepting the water and the mouth wash. "I wasn't really sick the first time either." He spat it into the sink. "Your mother called it-"

"Morning-noon-and-night sickness," they said simultaneously. 

He nodded. "I'll be down in a minute." 

"Take your time." Alice paused at the door and said, "This is a very generous thing you're doing, Dad." 

"I love you, honey," he replied, tearfully. 

After his daughter walked away, Jack felt his stomach roll again and dismissed it. _Mind over matter... Piece of cake..._

* * *

Ianto and Alicia both winced as they heard Jack heaving again. Jack had been up and down all night, sick. These days, the sound of Jack retching was what woke them rather than any alarm. Alicia sighed and stood. 

"I know you need to take a shower, Alicia, but I don't think you should go in there," he said. 

She shook her head. "I'm just going to get my shower gel and my hair stuff. I'll shower downstairs." 

Jack had been surly and snappish with both of his partners, each reacting differently. Ianto approach was preemptive. He was attempting to tiptoe around Jack and avoid whatever would make him surly. At first, Alicia had been gentle, but had quickly lost her patience. 

"Let me get it," Ianto offered, standing. 

"No, I've got it," she said. She lightly rapped her knuckles on the door. "Jack?" 

"WHAT?!" 

The bark made Alicia jump. She pressed her lips together, angry. "I just need to get some things. I'm coming in." 

Without waiting for invitation, she opened the door. 

"HEY!" 

"Cool your jets, Jack, you're not the only fucking person who lives here," she snapped. "I'll be out of your hair in a second." 

She reached over and grabbed her hair straightener and blowdryer first. After dropping them on the bed, she opened the shower stall door for the soaps. As she leaned, Jack was forced to move to allow her to pass. The movement clearly didn't help Jack's situation as he heaved again. 

"You're not making this any better!" he snapped, then started to heave again. 

"I didn't ask you to move!" she snapped back, her arms full of her things. She stepped back out into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her for good measure. Then she turned, and gave it a solid kick. 

"You know what, Ianto, I've had it," she said. She walked into the walk-in closet and took out one of her bags. "I'm going to sleep downstairs tonight." 

"Alicia, wait," Ianto said, standing.

"I'm not leaving, I just..." She glared back at the en suite. "I can't take this anymore. I just need some space just for tonight. I need to cool off before I throttle him." 

"Alicia..." 

She shook her head and glared at him. "Ianto, I know he doesn't mean it. I mean, I get it. I was right there a couple months ago. I get being nauseated and sick twenty four fucking seven sucks. But this? I can't do this," she said, pointing at the door. Her voice shook. "I went all the way to Annapolis so I could escape that. I feel like I'm right back home with my Mom telling me that everything is my fault and making her life harder... my Dad leaving... my sister's bullshit... her fucking drinking... her losing another job... the rent going up... the car not starting... my Dad's child support check bouncing... and I can't." 

Ianto tried to embrace her, but she stormed out, her things in her hands. With a sigh, Ianto rapped his knuckles on the en suite again. "Jack?" 

"WHAT!?" 

With a roll of his eyes, he opened the door. _He's sick, he's not well..._  "Do you want some water?"

Instead of answering, Jack just shook his head. The movement made him heave again. Ianto noted, with alarm, that Jack wasn't bringing anything up anymore. He was retching so hard, Ianto could see the veins standing out on his temples and his eyes were bulging. 

When he stopped, he gasped and choked. Then, he spit into the toilet, but there was nothing there. _He's dehydrated_...  

"I'm fine, Yan." 

_This is not fine..._ Ianto knelt beside him and started rubbing his hand over Jack's back in small circles. 

"STOP! STOP! You're shaking me!" and then he started to retch again. 

Ianto yanked his hands back and stood up. He backed to the en suite door. Jack's leg came out and he tried to kick the door shut, but Ianto wasn't standing back far enough. The door hit him full in the face and that was the last straw. He was about to open it and give Jack a piece of his mind, when there was a knock at flat door.

I’ll take anything over this. Miranda was standing there with her portable kit in one hand. "Ifan." 

"C'mon in, Mandy," he said, tersely. "He's in the en suite. Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor."  

"I take it Jack is still being an arse," she said.

"That's one way of putting it," Ianto said, rolling his eyes.

He followed her into the bedroom. He waved at the en suite door and she knocked.

"WHAT?!"

Miranda rolled her own eyes and said, "It's me, Jack."

"What do you want?" he snapped. 

Ianto was so angry, he barely heard the exchange. When he saw the syringe and tubes appear, he asked, "Wait, are you switching him to injectables?" 

She gestured at the toilet. "He's too ill. The range is too narrow. If his levels could fluctuate too much, the pregnancy could self-terminate.”

“Can’t you give him an antiemetic or at least an anti-nausea med?” Ianto asked. 

“There are a few-” 

“It’s okay, Yan,” Jack said, still breathing through his teeth. “I’ll be fine. I don’t need anything yet.” 

Miranda began examining him. “If this keeps up, Jack, you're taking one, whether you think you need them or not," Miranda insisted. "You're dehydrated. When you get upstairs, I want to hook you up to an IV.  You’re taking the vitamins at night?”  

“Yeah…” Jack said, meekly. 

“Ready?” she asked, holding up the blood tubes and he nodded. She drew the blood sample and ran it through the portable analyzer. After some quick maths, she drew up the appropriate medications and then buried the needle in Jack's arm.

Jack barely flinched. As Miranda stepped away, Ianto watched as Jack took a few measured breaths through his nose. He stood and then filled a cup of water to rinse his mouth. 

“You’re certain you don’t want some medication, Jack? It won’t relieve the nausea entirely, but it will help. I don’t want your weight to fluctuate too much,” she said, concerned. 

“I haven’t lost anything. I’m still up a few pounds,” he said, a little snappish. “All the nausea cleared up by my tenth week last time. I just have to wait it out.” 

“Not all pregnancies proceed the same,” she said, gently. 

“How would you know?” he snapped.  

Ianto almost came to her defense, but she waved him off as she turned to leave.

“I'll do another check in twelve hours," she said. She took a frustrated breath and said to Ianto, "Good luck, Ifan." 

He muttered as she walked past him, "I'm sorry, Mandy." 

She waved away the apology with her hand a shrug. The minute the flat door shut behind her, Ianto rounded on Jack. 

“Jack, I know you’re not feeling well, but you cannot treat the people around you like this." He paused and said, "Alicia's sleeping downstairs tonight." 

Jack closed his eyes. 

"And while we're on that subject, I’ve bloody had it with you being foul to everyone, especially Alicia! ANd what you just said to Mandy was nothing short of cruel.” He raised his voice, “I’m trying to be supportive here but you’re making it bloody hard. You volunteered for this. It was your idea. I get you thought it would be a walk in the park like the first time, but as it’s not turning out that way, you need to start coping better! Let Mandy give you some medicine!” 

“I know. I know,” Jack said, hanging his head over the sink. He grabbed the mouthwash and swished it around in his mouth. “I’m sorry, Yan. I wasn’t this moody the first time. Everything's setting me off and making me so angry.” He shook his head and sighed, blinking back tears. 

Jack's words took Ianto aback. He'd expected the weepiness, but he hadn't thought there'd be anger. “Cariad, I'm sorry. I didn't realize this was mood swings. I just... I thought you were lashing out because you aren't feeling well. I expected you to be weepy, not biting our heads off.” 

Jack rubbed at his eyes. “I’m sorry…” and then let out a half sob. 

Ianto put his arm around his husband. “It’s all right.”

“I’ll apologise to Will,” he said, sniffling. "And I'll make it up to Alicia." 

“They'll understand,” Ianto replied. He rubbed circles into Jack’s back while Jack fought back tears. "But I think you should let Alicia sleep downstairs tonight."

“And now I’m crying for no good reason,” he said, wiping his eyes. He angrily banged his fist on the vanity. He crushed the disposable paper cup and dropped it into the bin then stormed out of the en suite. He sat down heavily on the bed so he could get dressed.

With a sad sigh, Ianto helped Jack dress, adjusting his braces for him and cupping his face. He wiped away the tear streaks. “I’ll bring some tea to your office and something bland for breakfast, all right?” 

Jack wiped his eyes and nodded. A few more tears leaked and rolled down his face. “You’re too good to me.” 

“Because I love you,” Ianto insisted. He kissed the tip of Jack’s nose. “Go on. Go see Mandy and get some fluids. I’ll be up shortly.” 

Ianto wondered how on earth he was going to make it through the whole nine months of this pregnancy. _Ten... technically it's ten..._


	6. Chapter 6

Along with the fluids, Miranda had given Jack anti-nausea pills. Ianto and Alicia had no idea if Jack was taking them, but this morning was the first time Jack’s retching hadn’t woken them, so they assumed he was taking the pills. Ianto shut the door to the flat as quietly as he could. 

"I'm so glad he's finally sleeping," Alicia said, relieved. 

"You and me both. He's been up every night being sick. He’s exhausted," Ianto replied. 

"He is so fucking stubborn," Alicia said, waving behind her. "If I was puking that much, I would've begged for the pills ages ago!" 

"Well, you know how he is," Ianto said. He touched his tie and walked towards Jack's office. "Colonel Mace is expecting my call." 

"Still trying to find an alternative to Frobisher?" Alicia said.

Ianto nodded. "I know Jack doesn't like him and Colonel Mace doesn't either, but that's beside the point. Why is someone who works at Home Office going to liaise between Torchwood and UNIT? It doesn't make any sense. As Mandy said, ‘We don’t need an owl.’”

"Well Jack did say if Frobisher was going to be Ashline's replacement, we'd no longer liaise with UNIT," Alicia pointed out. 

Ianto shrugged. "Blowing hot air, that is. We can't not liaise with UNIT. We're under directive from Her Majesty and we answer to the Crown." 

"You know, I still haven't met her," Alicia said with a sigh. 

"Well, she's getting on in years. We only meet with her directly once a year now, in the spring. The Prince of Wales or the Duke of Cambridge are there for the quarterly stuff," Ianto said, shrugging. "Oh, don't forget to send something for Princess Charlotte's birthday." 

"You know I won't," she said. 

She pushed up onto her toes to give him a small kiss on the cheek, but Ianto pulled her in for something more passionate. Wiggling, she extracted herself from the embrace. "I'll see you after your call." 

He tapped the tip of her nose and walked towards Jack's office, putting the comm unit into his ear. He nodded at Henry as he passed him. "Coffee, please, Henry?" 

"Of course, lad," he said with a nod.

Ianto raised an eyebrow at the Duke's casual attire. In the simple jeans and t-shirt, he looked like a teenager which made his use of the diminutive even more teasing than usual. Smothering a grin, he asked, "Do you need a note for school?"  

Henry managed to convey great offense without changing his expression. "I was going to see to the repainting of the north sub-basement corridors. As several of the paint layers are lead based, I felt it best I saw to the power washing alone... and appropriately attired for the labor." 

"Just taking the piss, Henry. I almost never see you in jeans," Ianto said, smiling. "Jack and I appreciate how much of the maintenance you do."

Henry gave Ianto a small bow from the shoulders. "My pleasure, lad. Do you have a preference for breakfast this morning?" 

"No, whatever you feel is best, but see if the others do," Ianto replied. 

"Shall I take something down to Jack?" the Duke asked. 

"No, let him sleep, but when he does come up, I'd like for him to have some dry toast and water," Ianto said. He pointed towards Jack's office. "I have a phone call with UNIT this morning." 

Henry nodded. "Once I'm done with the power washing, I have to take David to an appointment with his speech therapist, so I shall be leaving early."

Ianto nodded. "Take all the time you need. He's doing all right?"

"He has improved in leaps and bounds. His stammer is greatly improved and his annunciation difficulties have resolved completely," Henry said, pleased and relieved. 

"He isn't popping out with the wrong words anymore?" Ianto asked. 

Henry shook his head. "Not anymore. I'll be along with your coffee shortly." 

"Thanks, Henry," Ianto said, walking off. 

When Fish and Henry had first returned from abroad, Henry had spent quite a few months sulking. It was only after the discovery of Fish's son, David, that his mood had turned around. Ianto didn't know if it was David or something else, but he'd never seen the couple so content and settled. Ianto hated to be selfish, but the best part was the Duke's return as their part time butler. Ianto had thought he'd have to hire someone.

The phone call with UNIT went better than Ianto thought it would. Colonel Mace didn't like the idea of John Frobisher any more than they did, and Ianto was quite surprised when he was asked his opinion about other candidates. What Ianto had thought would be a quick phone call, lasted nearly half the morning. When he rang off, he stretched upwards and checked his watch. It was nearly ten and Jack was still asleep. Ianto took it as a good sign. He peeked out of Jack's window down into the main Hub, everything was buzzing along nicely. Frowning, he noticed Ben was missing. He left Jack's office and walked up to Alicia. 

"Where's Ben?" Ianto asked.

"He took the day," Alicia said.

"Again?" Ianto raised an eyebrow. "I didn't see that on the schedule. We have the side project meeting today."

Alicia shook her head. "He said he had something come up." She pointed to the stairs and added, "He came up the stairs like a bat out of hell. He looked so upset and stressed out, so I didn't ask too much, just wished him luck."

Ianto frowned deeply. 

"When did he leave?" 

"Maybe ten minutes after I sat down?" Alicia replied.

That meant he'd been gone over two hours. He would've preferred Ben speak with him regarding the sudden day off, not Alicia. While she handled some of the scheduling, Ianto was his superior. 

She reached for her mobile. "You want me to call him?" 

Ianto shook his head and replied, "No, it's all right. Anything need my attention?" 

"Nope, all shipshape and bristol fashion," Alicia said. 

The British expression touched something in Ianto's heart. Though Alicia had strict rules about affectionate displays whilst at work, Ianto couldn't help himself. He leaned in for a tender and gentle kiss. What surprised him the most was she allowed it. When he pulled back, she took her hand in his.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

He nodded. "Not looking forward to the conversation with Ben when he gets back."

Observant as ever, she raised an eyebrow and said, "Is he going to remember the conversation?"

Ianto hesitated, then said, "I don't know yet. I'd prefer to give him the benefit of the doubt rather than retconning him into last year." 

"Do you think something else is going on?" Alicia asked, frowning. 

Actually, he was positive something was going on, he just wasn't sure what. Only Jack knew about Ben's alcoholism out of necessity, and Ianto wasn't going to share it with anyone else without Ben's permission, even his girlfriend.

"I'm not sure." He tugged at his shirt cuffs, then tapped his comm unit and said, "I've got some reports to read and sign." 

"Roger that," she replied, turning back to her workstation. 

Instead of going to his own workstation, Ianto went back to Jack's office. When he sat down, he didn't pick up the stack of papers to read. Instead, he pulled the keyboard towards him. With a few taps, the program to activate Ben's subcutaneous tracker came up, but Ianto hesitated. It was a solemn promise made to every Torchwood operative that their tracker would only be used for emergencies, not to invade their privacy.

These sorts of last minute days off had started shortly after Andrew Darby had gone on his rampage and had become almost a weekly occurrence. After the first incident, something hadn't sat right with Ianto at all. Suspicious, he'd asked his Watcher, Shawn Graham, to follow Ben around for a day or two. Ianto had ended up feeling like a bit of a tosser afterwards. Shawn had seen Ben attend an Alcoholic's Anonymous meeting at one of the local churches and Ianto had felt like an arse.

Ianto had been astonished the alcoholism hadn't come up on Ben's background check. He didn't confront Ben at the time. They were anonymous meetings for a reason. However, he did do some research on recovery, so if Ben ever did decide to confide in them, they could offer the appropriate support. He'd been letting these days off slide, assuming Ben was having a rough time.

The only time he had confronted Ben was when the young man had vanished for nearly three days straight without a word, worrying them all. After some coaxing, Ben admitted to a trip to London to have a piss up with some visiting friends. Ben had also sworn it would be the last such incident, yet here they were.

There were only so many chances Ianto could give him. 

He closed the program and pushed the keyboard away. He'd already spied on Ben once, he wouldn't do it again. Technically, Torchwood employees revoked any and all rights to privacy. As Torchwood's second, Ianto could spy on Ben in any manner he wished. After Ianto's own deception had been discovered in the form of his half converted girlfriend, he'd also spent time on probation which had meant surveillance. He'd tolerated it, because he knew he deserved it, but he tried not to violate the privacy of his teammates unnecessarily.

Ben certainly wasn't the first Torchwood employee with a substance use problem. John Hart indulged in all manner of illicit substances. The difference between them was reliability. Even though Ben was attending meetings, he was becoming increasingly unreliable. Unfortunately, there was no way for Ianto to voice his concerns and offer support unless Ben confided in him. If this upcoming conversation with Ben went poorly, Ianto would simply have to confront him about it. 

After getting through several reports, Ianto decided to check on Jack. He walked down the north stairs to the storage-room-turned-flat. The moment he opened the door, Jack was there. Despite the extra sleep, Jack didn't look well at all.

Ianto asked, concerned, "Cariad? You all right?" 

"Yeah, I'm fine, Yan," he said, blinking. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "Thanks for letting me sleep in."

Ianto added, "Are you sure you don't want to get back into bed?" 

Jack nodded. "Yeah just a bit of a headache. I think I went the other way and got too much sleep. Need to get up and move around."  

After a pause, Ianto nodded and said, "Ben's skived off again." 

"Again?" Jack said, rolling his eyes. He walked towards the north stairs and Ianto noted how Jack was occasionally putting his hand on the wall to steady himself. "Ianto, I know you found out that he's in recovery and that you feel bad, but he can't keep doing this. Don't use how I dealt with Owen as a benchmark. I was too lenient with him."

"I know," Ianto said, sighing. "I'll talk to him."

"Anything else I need to know about?" Jack asked. 

"I spoke with Colonel Mace. He doesn't want John Frobisher either. He agrees that our liaising shouldn't be done by someone in Home Office. He put up some names." 

"Anyone I'd know?" Jack asked. 

Ianto shook his head. "I actually didn't know any of them either. He forwarded me their files. They're on your desk." 

"I'll take a look," Jack said. 

"I'll have Henry bring you some water and something light to eat," Ianto replied.

"Thanks," Jack said, giving him a weak smile.

As lunch approached, Ianto could tell Jack was white knuckling it. He'd caught Jack blinking and squeezing his eyes shut a great deal, which meant Jack's headache wasn't a mild one. Several times, he had caught him pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. 

When the meeting time approached, Ianto gently knocked on Jack's office door.  

"Come in!" Jack had tried to shout, but it came out as a croak.

After he entered the office, he shut the door behind him and said, "How are you feeling, Jack?" 

"I still have a headache," he said with a sigh.

"You can take paracetamol," Ianto said. 

"I already did," Jack said, sighing again. 

"Do you want to go lay down? I can cancel the meeting?" Ianto offered.

Jack pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers, then dropped his arm to the desk with a thud. He shook his head. "No, I'll be fine. We've cancelled the meeting twice now because of the rift or me and everyone's projects are on hold now."

"I could run the meeting alone," Ianto offered. 

"Nah, I like hearing about everyone's side stuff," Jack replied. 

"I'm ordering from the Chinese place. Do you want some soup?" Ianto asked. 

"Yeah, that sounds good." Jack gave him a weak smile. "Some water'd be great too." 

When the meeting started, everyone gathered in the boardroom. Once Ianto had laid out the food, he set a glass of water down by Jack's right, noting his soup was untouched. He also looked more grey than he had before as he slouched down in his chair and leaned heavily on the table. Ianto noted the blinking was worse. He put his hand on Jack's.

"You sure you don't want to lay down, Jack?" Ianto pressed.

"I'm fine, Yan," Jack replied, with a dismissive wave. 

From the other end of the table, John Hart said, "You look peaky, Jack." 

“I feel a little better than yesterday," Jack replied. He cleared his throat and said, "John? Why don’t you get us started?”

Mindful of Jack’s sensitive nose, Hart pushed his food towards his wife and began to drone on about the negative rift spikes. This was a segue into Fish’s work. The technician was attempting to find a way to predict the spikes and narrow the area they would occur. For ages, Jack insisted there was no way to predict them, but Fish and Gwen were working hard to prove him wrong. With Gwen was on leave, Hart and Fish had taken up the cause. Once they were done, Miranda talked about some changes she wanted to make to the hand to hand combat refresher training that needed input from the team as a whole and Jack's approval. That discussion got them through lunch. After clearing everything away, Ianto chimed in about changes and improvements he wanted to make to the team rotas involving the Hub cleaning and maintenance, and general pet care.

Ianto had no idea why Jack hadn't allowed him to cancel this meeting, because he was barely listening. Every word was going in one of Jack's ears and straight out the other. All of Jack's energy and effort was going into holding himself up. When Jack swayed, Ianto took a breath to call a stop to the meeting, but Jack said, "I'm sorry, guys. I'm not feeling right."

He turned to Ianto and said, "I'm going to go lay down in my office." 

Everyone at the table looked relieved to hear it. The two men stood up at the same time. It was only Ianto's quick reflexes, close proximity, and the fact he was already standing that saved Jack from slamming his head against the boardroom table as he fainted.

"Help!" Ianto cried. 

The men rushed forward, seizing Jack and carrying him together to the medical bay.

"Back out everyone, give us some bloody room!" Miranda cried.

Ianto and Miranda worked swiftly, hooking Jack up to monitors and scanning the baby. The reassuring whoosh of the foetal heartbeat, strong and steady, echoed in the room and everyone let out a sigh of relief. After quickly assessing Jack's condition, Miranda began setting up fluids for Jack.

"When he wakes up, I'm going to kill him," Alicia snapped. 

"Get in line," Ianto said, rolling his eyes.

Miranda tapped the monitor. "Goddess below! One fifty over ninety-five!"

"Hypertension's common in male pregnancy, Dollface," Hart said, shrugging.

Miranda glared at her husband and said, "Whether it is common is irrelevant. That is too high, John, and he's dehydrated. This isn't healthy for either of them!" She waved at Jack's unconscious form. "Let's get him downstairs." 

* * *

Jack let out a groan as he blinked. He shifted, then froze, realizing he was in his own bed. How did I get down here? Dread immediately settled over him. Oh no...

“How are you feeling?” a voice asked. 

Will? Oh my head... He didn’t even try to sit up. “I have a headache. Where’s Ianto and Alicia?” 

“They have gone to see to an alert,” she replied, adjusting the pump. 

“I passed out didn’t I?” he asked. His hand went to his belly. "The baby?"

"Is fine." Her voice became deadly serious. “You’re dehydrated which I don’t need to tell you is not good for you or the baby. You’ll be in bed for the rest of today and you will be taking tomorrow off as well.” She tapped the pill bottle on his nightstand. "I counted them. You haven't been taking them have you?"

He shook his head.

"Woefully obtuse as always," she muttered.

He could hear the disappointment dripping off her tone. He was just glad she wasn't yelling at him. 

"Have you completely taken leave of your senses?" she cried. 

Angrily, she opened the bottle and removed the pills, handing them to him with a glass of water. He drank only enough water to get the pills down and was surprised when his stomach didn't immediately attempt to reject them.

"I hope those stay down," he muttered. 

"I gave you injections of anti nausea and antiemetic medications," she said. She held up the pill bottle. “Twice a day. I don't care if you think you need one or not.” 

He waved at the second pill bottle that hadn't been there before. “Are those for the nausea too?”

She shook her head. "Anti-hypertensives. Your blood pressure is too high."

“Hypertension is common in male pregnancy, Will,” he insisted.

"Were you seeing flashes of light before you passed out?" she demanded. 

Jack dropped his gaze and said, sheepishly, "I thought it was a migraine coming on.”

"Well it wasn't," she said. "It was your blood pressure spiking. Do you want to throw a blood clot?" 

Guilt descended onto him.

“I’m screwing this up, aren’t I?” he said with a shaky voice. The tears broke free and started to fall. 

Her voice and face softened. “Your intentions, as always, are pure. I know you thought this would be easy and I’m sorry it’s harder than you expected.” She took out another bottle of pills. “But 'pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.'"

"I hate when you quote Scripture at me, Will," he snapped.

"Mind your tongue," she snapped back. With her hands on her hips, she spat, "Goddess below, Jack! I have never seen you like this! You're barking at the team. You're rude and surly. And the manner you are treating your partners is borderline abusive!" 

She was right. He'd been trying, but the snappishness was his first reaction. It was like some switch in his brain had flipped turning him into a complete arsehole.

"I don't know how to make it better," Jack said, deflated.

Miranda tapped the pills. "You need to take better care of yourself. How ill you feel is not helping."

"They're safe for the baby?" he asked.

"They are. I understand that you are below treatable numbers for your time, but this is not the fifty first century. We do not have the same futuristic medical resources available to us. Martha agrees, we need to treat this pregnancy as extremely high risk. Caution and prudence.” She brandished the pills at him again. “It’s a very low dose. Half a pill, twice a day. I’d rather you take it with food but I’d also rather you take them on an empty stomach and keep them down. It may require some adjustment. Let me know if you are excessively dizzy or light headed. You will need to mind how you move.” 

Jack nodded. He opened the bottle, snapped a pill in half and swallowed it. He put the bottle next to the other one on his bedside table. He knew he'd be nauseous the moment the water hit his stomach and braced himself against it, but it didn't come. In that moment, he realized he felt better than he had since the pregnancy had started. He was so relieved he began to cry again, beating himself up for not accepting the medication sooner.  

"Thanks, Will," he said, softly.

Miranda wiped the tears from his cheeks. She squeezed his shoulder and said, “I also need you to start drinking more water. The Duke will be bringing you a ration regularly.” 

“Yeah, because I’m not peeing enough as it is,” he snapped. Immediately he followed it with, "Sorry, sorry..."

“No more coffee, and yes, I know Ifan has you on decaf. You will also be restricting your salt intake.” She smiled and let the other shoe drop. “Ianto and the Duke will be seeing to your diet.” 

Jack let out a groan and Miranda added, "I do not have to tell you how precious what you are carrying is. Gwen and Rhys have entrusted you with their last embryo."

As he set the glass of water on the bedside table, he asked, “Gwen’s cross with me isn’t she?” 

“As she is still on leave, I have not mentioned this episode to her or Rhys,” she said, sitting down. “You are carrying their child, but your health is your own affair. And no, none of us are cross. We are relieved you are all right… both of you.” 

Jack closed his eyes as tears seeped out of the corners. He felt terrible. If this pregnancy failed, there were no more embryos. He was being reckless with something infinitely precious. Jack knew just how precious and important it was to Gwen and Rhys. And possibly to the future. 


	7. Chapter 7

 

The fainting incident had significantly humbled Jack. It had been a harsh reality check, and everyone was pleased he'd begun to take proper care of himself. Jack had confessed to his partners he hadn't realized how broad the sickness's effect had been. It wasn't just the inconvenience and discomfort of rushing to the loo to be sick. Being improperly fed and watered had only made things worse. The ever present, mild headache had vanished. The constant dread before each mouthful of food and drink had also disappeared.

He'd been so miserable, he hadn't noticed how uncomfortable his clothing had become. Now at the end of his first trimester, the pregnancy had progressed enough that Jack's trousers and jeans simply didn't fit him anymore. He'd started leaving the button and flies on his trousers undone as well as leaving his shirt untucked. He'd done away with his belts entirely, relying on his braces alone. It wasn't a good look. Ianto had tried to buy new clothes in larger sizes, but they didn't fit properly. 

Alicia's aunt had taught her to sew when she was a girl so she could mend her and her sister's clothes rather than buy new ones. Alicia had taken it one step further, buying second hand clothes a few sizes too large. She would alter them to fit her and her sister, and would reverse the process as they'd grown. She hadn't done it in ages, but sewing didn't really change. So, after some research, she'd taken on the project to create male maternity clothing. It had been a simple thing to remove the waistband and part of the front from Jack's trousers to add the stretchy fabric. Now she was sewing a channel into the top of the fabric for an elastic band. 

With her bottom lip between her teeth, Alicia fed the layers of pinned cloth through the sewing machine, slowly. The other fruits of her labor were next to her. She'd gotten on a roll, and had done three pairs of trousers and two pairs of jeans. With a satisfied smile, she snipped the threads and held the jeans up to admire her work. 

Alicia intended the trousers as a surprise, so she'd been sewing in her old room. Ever since she'd moved in with Jack and Ianto, she only used the stateroom to store her things that wouldn't fit in the flat. She'd been meaning to move everything to an empty archive room, but hadn't gotten around to it yet.

"Is that what that bloody noise is?" Ben noted from the door way. 

She smiled at Ben and said, "Yeah, sorry about the noise. I was getting too warm with the door shut."

Ben walked over and picked up a pair, holding them up. "That's bloody fantastic that is. You know, I've got some trousers that need-"

"Ha, no way!" she laughed.

"Oh, fine, I see how it is. Only do the sewing for the boyfriends," he said, rolling his eyes. After neatly folding the jeans, he put them back onto the pile.

She gestured at the pile of clothes. "Kind of didn't have a choice. Where would I ever find male maternity clothes? Not that he'd mind wearing women's clothing-"

"That man rocks a dress and a bloody pair of heels better than most women I know," Ben muttered.

"-but women's clothes aren't cut for the same body shape. It'd be the same problem Jack had when Ianto bought him larger stuff."

Ben rolled his eyes. "Still a fucking trip to me when anyone says 'male' and anything pregnancy related in the same sentence." He paused and looked around. "You going to do some shirts for him too?" 

Alicia nodded. "I was going to give it a shot. I stole one of the ones he doesn't wear much to see if I can figure something out. It might be above my skill level though."

"You're a smart bird. You'll think of something." He paused. "It must be quite a thing."

"What?" Alicia asked.

"Being pregnant. It's just, I'm a bloke. Never thought to even wonder about it because, hey, it isn't an option, is it?" Ben said. He shrugged and added, "A mate of mine got his girl in the family way. But they were mad for each other so they got married and moved to Essex. We threw a party for him, and he kept saying how it all was just unreal to him."

"Gets pretty real when you've got this little tiny human screaming, puking, and pooping everywhere," Alicia said with a laugh. 

Ben laughed. "It does. I lost touch, but last time I spoke to him, the kid was about two. Could hear his daughter screaming bloody murder in the background. I remember the maddest thing he said was that he had no idea where the kid had come from even though he'd watched her being born. It was like, suddenly, there was this little person, who'd appeared out of nowhere," Ben said with a snort. He watched her snip at the loose threads for a minute and then cleared his throat nervously. "By the way, I never told you how sorry I was for your loss."

Alicia frowned. "What do you mean?"

"When you lost the baby," he said, jerking his head to the right.

"It wasn't mine. That was Gwen and Rhys's," she said.

"It's still a loss," he said. "And I'm sorry for yours."

She hadn't wanted to admit how much it had hurt her. There were all these complicated emotions tangled up in it. Whilst she'd been pregnant, Alicia had to frequently remind herself the baby wasn't hers. It hadn't taken long for her to feel a growing sadness every time she reminded herself of it. Then, the tiny spark of regret had begun. For a little while, Alicia had wanted it for herself, and that had scared her to death. "I'm sad I disappointed them."

"You did no such thing, and if you're blaming yourself, you're not as clever as I thought you were," he insisted.

"Grief isn't rational," she said.

"No, it's not," he said, bending to hug her. "After my uncle's suicide, my mum let a balloon go with his name on it at the beach, as un-environmental as that is. She told me she'd done the same thing when she'd had a miscarriage before she had me."

Alicia hugged Ben, tightly. It sounded like a good idea actually. 

He stood up and said, "You need to talk? I'm here, all right?"

She nodded. "Thanks, Ben. You know that goes the same for you, right?" 

He'd already started to leave, but he turned back and said, "Hmm?" 

"You ran out of here yesterday like your fucking pants were on fire," she said.

Ben shrugged. "Yeah I'm sorry about that. Something-"

"Came up, yeah you said," she interrupted. "This is like the fourth or fifth time, Ben. I mean, if you got something going on-"

"No, I don't," Ben said, sharply. "I'm fine."

"Hey, don't be so defensive. I'm just worried about you."

"Did Ianto put you up to this?" Ben snapped.

"Hey! Chill! No, he didn't. I'm just worried about you. Like I said, you ran out of here like your fucking pants were on fire." She huffed and said, "Look, I get how it can be when your personal life is imploding and you feel like you're stretched thin and pulled in a thousand different directions."

Ben squirmed, looking like he had something on the tip of his tongue.

Alicia put her hand on his wrist and squeezed. "You sure you don't want to talk about it?"

He nervously shifted his weight, but shook his head. "Nah, I'm fine." He looked down at his feet, then turned and left the room muttering, "Everything's under control."

Alicia seriously doubted that was true. She nearly got up and stopped him to force whatever was going on out of him, but she held back. She didn't want to be a bully and drag it out of him. Ben would tell them when he was ready, but that didn't mean she wasn't worried. With a sigh, she took the button-up shirt and spread it out over the bed.

She examined the seams and the construction for a few minutes, not sure what to do. Making one of these from scratch was out of the question. Maybe she could remove the front panels and sew on new ones? Another knock at the door brought her head up. She hoped it was Ben coming back to talk to her, but it was Miranda. She had a tablet in her hand.

"Sorry to bother you on your day off, Alicia, but I need access to the biannual UNIT report," Miranda said, holding out the tablet.

Alicia logged in and changed the permissions on the file. "All set. I gave you editing access too."

"Thanks," she said, looking at the trousers. "This is lovely work."

"Thanks," Alicia said. She gestured at the shirt. "No idea how to alter this though."

Miranda leaned and tapped the seams under the arms. "A gusset."

"What?" she asked.

Miranda pointed as she spoke. "Slit the shirt here, up to this seam. Insert a triangular piece of cloth. The point at the underarm and the base at the bottom seam. Alternatively, you could also make a slit up the middle of this pleat. The back will flare to permit the front to expand. You wouldn't even need to find a similar fabric. Something contrasting would add a lovely accent. This shirt only has one pleat in the middle, but you could do it with the shirts that have two as well. It would just require a bit more work."

"So, cut here or here?" Alicia asked, also pointing at the shirt. "And insert fabric into the slits?"

"You could even embellish them with embroidery," Miranda noted. "Jack likes monograms."

"That might be a little above my skill level," Alicia said. She blinked. "Hey, those monogramed handkerchiefs Jack uses? Did you make those?" 

Miranda nodded. "I'm surprised he still has any. I haven't made new ones in a long time.”

“I guess you’ve known how to sew for a while,” Alicia noted. 

Miranda nodded “When not working as a prostitute, I frequently used woman’s work as a means to support myself. I also lived in a time when such skills were necessary for day to day life. When I first met Jack in the twenties, I was making my living as a seamstress. I sewed Jack many things while we were married."

Alicia paused and asked, "Would you teach me?" 

"Sewing? You seem to be doing fine," she said with a smile.

"I'd like to learn more. My aunt did a lot of sewing. She could knit too, but she never taught me."

Miranda nodded. "I'd be happy to teach you. There are a few fabric shops in the city. We can find something suitable for the gussets. Enjoy the rest of your day. Jack will love this."

"Thanks, Miranda," Alicia replied. 

She nodded, giving the other woman a warm smile. "You're welcome, my dear."

Alicia took the folded clothes and put them carefully into the large gift box. Once it was wrapped, she carried it upstairs and into the flat. She rested it on the breakfast bar and paused at the sound of retching. With the medications, that wasn't a sound Alicia had heard much anymore.

"Jack? You okay?" she called out. She walked into the bedroom and stood in the en suite's doorway. "Babe? You okay in there?"

"Yeah," he called back.

"You want some water?" she asked.

The door opened, and the smell of sick hit Alicia. She grimaced as Jack flushed the toilet. "Feel better?"

"Yeah. And some water'd be great," he said. He began cleaning his teeth, "It's easier for me to just give in rather than fight it. I feel better afterwards." 

Alicia filled a glass and brought it to him. As he rinsed his mouth, she said with barely contained excitement, "I have something for you."

"You do?" he asked.

"Not like that silly," she said. 

Jack must not have heard her, because he said, "Alicia, I know it's been a long time and I know you and Yan never thought you'd ever hear me say it but I'm not really feeling up to it." 

She'd never thought anything could slow down Jack Harkness's sex drive, but being sick several times a day had definitely done it. Even though the sickness had improved, all attempts at intimacy between the three of them had failed. The hormones Miranda continually injected had wrecked Jack's libido.

He added, "Nothing down there's working anymore. I know you've got this rule that it should always be all three of us, but really, you and Ianto shouldn't feel guilty about spending time together when I'm like this."

Alicia rolled her eyes and smiled. "First, my surprise isn't something dirty. Second, you, Ianto and I can talk about the rest later. I've got an actual gift for you."

"Really?" Jack's face lit up like it was Christmas. He started looking around the room. 

"Kitchen," she clarified. 

Jack dashed into the other room and took the wrapped box to the sofa. "Do you want me to wait for Ianto?"

"I thought you'd want to use them now," she said. 

Jack frowned with confusion and tore into the box. He picked up the trousers. "Hey wait... these are mine!"

She grinned. "Yup. Sorry about stealing and mangling them."

"You didn't mangle them!" he said, happily. He took pair after pair out of the box. "Oh, wow! These are wonderful! Thank you! Ianto'll love this. His father was a master tailor. He's got the family eye."

He clutched the trousers to his chest and began to cry. With a slight chuckle, Alicia pulled Jack into her arms. "I'm glad you like them. Go on, try a pair."

Weepy, he went into the bedroom. Almost as if on cue, the door opened and Ianto entered the flat. As he shut the door, he said, "Just me!"

Alicia never understood why he did that. No one entered the flat without knocking. She stood and gave him a kiss on the cheek, then hurried back to the sofa. Holding up a pair of jeans, she said, "Hey, hey! Check it!"

Ianto turned and grinned. "Did you do that?"

She nodded, chuffed to bits. "My aunt taught me to sew when I was a kid. I haven't done it in forever, but I figured it'd be easy. I did some googling and it was YouTube to the rescue!" She smiled as Ianto took the trousers from her, examining the stitching. "So what's the family eye's opinion?"

He frowned and looked at her, confused.

"Jack told me your father was a master tailor," she said.

Ianto's face immediately fell. He flicked his eyes to the bedroom door and lowered his voice. "He... he wasn't... I lied... He worked at Debenhams." 

Alicia gave him a sad smile, understanding the lie and its roots. "I used to tell people my Dad was in the Navy." 

Ianto held out his hand to her and she took it. He let go when Jack walked in saying, "Alicia, they're perfect! Oh, wow! This feels loads better! Oh, hi Yan, when did you get here?"

"Just now," he said, smiling. "I see Alicia's been quite busy."

"You know, I think I should've tried something like this earlier. The waistband's not pressing on my stomach. Without it, I feel way better. I'm not queasy anymore, at all," Jack said.

Ianto grinned. "That's great!"

"Don't look at me, Alicia did it," he said, smiling. He swept Alicia up into his arms. "Thank you." 

"You're welcome," she replied. She was about to tell him about the shirts but decided to keep that to herself as a second surprise.

Ianto smiled and put his hand on Jack's shoulder. "UNIT rang for you. I let the Colonel know you were indisposed, but he insisted you return his call as soon as possible. He said it wasn't urgent but he did need to speak to you directly."

"Thanks, Yan," Jack said, walking towards the door. He adjusted his braces, then jerked his head in Alicia's direction and winked at them. "Why don't you two... dance?"

"Dance?" Ianto asked, eyebrows both raised.

"Well, talk first, then dance," Jack said. He said brightly as he left the flat. "I want video though."

"But, Jack!" Alicia cried out. 

When the door shut, Ianto turned to Alicia, laughing. "What was that about?"

Alicia sighed and gestured at the closed door. "Since Jack's sex drive's been in the tubes, he thinks you and I should spend some time alone." 

"That's really a discussion for all three of us," Ianto said. 

From the beginning, Alicia had always insisted physical intimacy must be between the three of them. Despite Ianto and Jack's efforts, she still felt like an outsider, that their relationship was Jack and Ianto, plus her and not all three of them. At first, she'd thought it was simply a mental block. She'd been raised with the concept of couples, not triads, but the reasons were deeper than that. 

"There's nothing to really discuss," she said, shrugging. "I know it's an old rule. My rule. I don't want to change it." 

Hurt flickered over Ianto's face. He opened his mouth but Alicia stopped him. 

"I've lived here with the two of you for months and I've been sharing your bed for going on almost a year now... and it still feels like you guys plus me. And before you go giving me your usual speech about how that's not the way it is, I know that. I know it up here." She tapped her head, then hear chest. "But it doesn't feel that way in here. I know when I say that it hurts you and it hurts Jack and I'm sorry for that." 

She waved at the bedroom door. "My rule is just a way to keep that feeling from getting worse." 

"It doesn't hurt us, Alicia," Ianto insisted. He took her hand. "It makes us sad because we don't know what to do about it." 

She looked down at their joined hands. "It's nothing you and Jack are or aren't doing."

"What if Jack and I got a divorce?" Ianto offered. 

She'd known it was only a matter of time before Ianto suggested that. She stood up and said, loudly, "No, because it's not going to help. It's only going to make me feel like I've split you two apart!" 

He reached for her hands. "Calm down. I'm sorry, cariad. I won't suggest it again."

She pulled her hands out of his and plopped back down on the sofa, and blurted, "You and Jack both keep trying to fix it, and it can't be fixed! I'll always feel on the outside looking in. You and Jack are the forever, not me." 

Startled, Ianto said, "Is this about us being immortal?" 

Shit. Shit. Shit. Nice. You and your big fat fucking mouth. She lied, "No."

"Alicia, talk to me," Ianto pressed. 

Fine... whatever... "Yeah. It is. Partly. And yeah, I get it, there's nothing you and Jack can do about that. It's just... it's just the way you are. But it's more than that. You and Jack are like this pair of stars, revolving around each other, and I'm just this passing comet. You have your own gravity and I just got sucked into it for a while. And when I'm gone..." she shook her head. "What are you going to do?" 

Ianto sat back down and said, "We'll be heartbroken." 

She could hear the grief in his voice and climbed into his lap. Ever since she'd arrived in their relationship, she could tell her presence was changing them. There was nothing they could do to make her feel included, because part of it was her own resistance. She didn't want to be the wedge that drove them apart. 

Her uncle had been in the Navy, taking him far away for months at a time. Alicia's Aunt had often told her the time apart wasn't hard because time passed no matter what happened in it. It was the coming back together that made things break. When she was gone, Jack and Ianto would have to learn to be a couple again, and that struggle would be magnified by their own grief and guilt. Like many Torchwood operatives, Alicia didn't see herself dying normally by growing old and having a heart attack. No, whether directly or indirectly, Torchwood would kill her. And Jack and Ianto would only blame themselves. 

Nothing you can do about that, Ally. Serenity. Try something new. Insanity, her sister's voice whispered to her. 

Holding back and keeping herself apart from them was only causing them all pain and it would only compound the regret later. _Maybe it's_ _time..._

She stood up. "I'm going to accept the things I can't change."

"Serenity?" Ianto asked.

She nodded and held out her hand to him. He took it and stood.

"If you only do what you've always done, you'll only get what you've always gotten." 

"Insanity?" Ianto asked.

She grinned and nodded, then dragged him towards the bedroom. "Let's try something new, then." 

 


	8. Chapter 8

"I wish you the best of luck," Jack said, nodding. "I'm sure we can all work for a smooth transition... Yes, of course... I'll have her give you a buzz... Yes... uhuh... Thank you for letting us know personally and I hope you enjoy your retirement, Colonel... Yup... Good luck to you too, sir... We wouldn't miss it... Yes... Thank you, sir..."

Jack was relieved when he rang off. Colonel Ashline's replacement was not going to be John Frobisher, but someone called Lieutenant Colonel Charlie Lester. Jack had never heard the name before, but Colonel Ashline had said he'd selected the Lieutenant Colonel personally so Jack was hopeful.

A light knock on the door brought his head up, "Yeah?"

The door opened and Ianto walked in. "How'd it go?"

"Lieutenant Colonel Charlie Lester is the replacement," Jack said.

"Who?" Ianto asked, raising an eyebrow. "That name wasn't in the list and we don't have his file." 

"Her," Jack corrected. 

Ianto nodded in acknowledgement. 

"Marcus is going to send us a file," Jack replied. 

"She's probably going to want a face-to-face for the first meeting," Ianto said.

"Probably," Jack said.

Ianto nodded in acknowledgement. "I'll take a look at the file and do some digging. Then I'll phone her, make the first introductions. How are you feeling?"

Jack nodded. "Good." He patted his stomach. "I should've gotten new clothes ages ago. This feels so much better. It should get even better soon. Second trimester is just around the corner, another week or two.

Jack rotated in his chair, admiring the slight flush to Ianto's cheeks. "So you and Alicia talked?"

Ianto nodded. "And spent some time alone together, as you suggested."

"And?" Jack asked, waggling his eyebrows.

He rolled his eyes. "While I enjoyed having her to myself for once, I don't think it'll happen again any time soon." 

"What? Why not?" Jack cried. "C'mon, Ianto, it's ridiculous for you two to suffer just because I'm out of commission. Alicia's crazy rule doesn't make any sense." 

Ianto said, softly, "Jack, don't be dismissive of her feelings like that. Just because it doesn't make sense to you doesn't mean it's doesn't make sense at all." 

I think that all three of us need to sit down and have a serious chat." 

Jack nodded. "Later on tonight?" 

Ianto nodded. "I think that would be best. Would you like some water? Or maybe something to eat?"

"Yeah I should eat and drink something," Jack said, stretching upwards.  "Nothing too heavy though."

Ianto gave him an affectionate smile and said, "I'll be right back."

"Send Henry in with it," Jack said.

Ianto raised an offended eyebrow. "I want to talk to him, ask his advice about Steven."

Understanding, Ianto leaned over and kissed the top of Jack's head. "I'll send Henry in."

When Alice had asked Jack to stay away, he'd never thought about how to tell Steven the truth about himself. If Jack wasn't in Steven’s life, it was a moot point. Now things were different and telling Steven the truth loomed over him. It was something both he and Alice had avoided for far too long. Steven was a young man now. Alice had asked him to wait until the surrogacy was over, but Jack didn't want to wait that long, especially since Steven had noticed something was out of the ordinary. Jack was surprised Steven hadn't noticed sooner. The boy was remarkably clever, but it was entirely possible he had, but hadn't said anything until now.

A light knock on his office door brought him out of his musings. "C'mon in!"

Henry opened the door and stepped into the room with Ianto's silver tray. "I have your water, Captain, and some toast."

He walked briskly to Jack's desk and set the tall glass of water down. He put the plate next to it. He paused and looked Jack up and down. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired, but that's nothing new," he replied. "These new trousers have helped the queasiness."

"Drink." Henry gave him a fatherly smile. When he straightened, he said, "I have already spoken with Ianto, but you should know that I have ceased my power washing efforts in the north sub-basement." 

"Oh? The lead getting to you?" Jack asked. 

"Just headaches, nothing permanent, of course," Henry said, shrugging. "No, my concern is for the asbestos I've discovered around the piping in the lower levels. It is beginning to crumble. I believe mold is the cause." 

Jack winced. The entire west side of the north sub-basement was sealed from the rest of the Hub while Henry was doing his project to protect the team from the lead. It would also protect them from the crumbling asbestos, but something needed to be done about it. 

"What did Ianto say?" Jack asked. 

"He's researching the material's removal as we speak. Likely we will all need to vacate the Hub for a short period of time whilst it is removed," Henry said. 

"You, Ianto, and Will can't handle it?" Jack asked.

Henry shook his head. "It is something that must be done by trained professionals to prevent contamination of the rest of the Hub and outside environment."

"I'd like for you and Ianto to do a cursory inspection of the rest of the Hub for more," Jack said.

"Of course, lad," Henry replied.

"Keep me updated," Jack said.  

"We shall. Ianto also said you wished to speak with me, but he did not reveal the subject."

Jack gestured at the chair. "Why don't you have a seat?"

Henry sat down and crossed his legs. "What's on your mind, lad?"

"Our grandson," Jack said with a shake of his head. "Alice thinks it's time to tell him the truth."

Henry pursed his lips slightly and nodded. After a brief, pensive pause, he said, "Tom has wanted to tell Steven for some time, but he has always followed Alice's lead."

“How old was Tom when you told him?” Jack asked.

"Sixteen," Henry replied.

"Why sixteen?" Jack asked.

Henry leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. The amount of maturity he could exude despite his teenage appearance amused Jack to no end. He smothered a grin.

"The choice was not arbitrary. Thomas had begun to notice I was not aging. My physical youth means I cannot impersonate a wide range of ages. I cannot convincingly pass as someone over the age of forty, but on paper, Henry Blount is well into sixties. In hindsight, I believe I waited too long to inform Tom."

"I'm guessing it didn't go well," Jack said. He picked up a pen from his desk and began turning it on end.

Henry shook his head. "No, it did not. Thomas found the truth quite difficult. He began acting out in ways that were outside of his character. While given to impulse, Thomas has never behaved criminally or violently, but he began picking fights at school, and engaging in vandalism and other types of criminal mischief. There was also an instance of petty thievery."

Jack winced. “Looks like it turned out okay.”

Henry gave a dismissive shrug. “It was the first step towards a long estrangement.”

“I didn’t know you and Tom spent time estranged,” Jack said with empathy. 

Henry nodded. “For nearly a decade. Upon learning my true nature, Thomas also learned he was not a child of my flesh.”

Jack winced. 

“He had always been curious regarding his mother and her absence, but he became more so in his questions once he learned he was not biologically mine,” Henry said, sadly. “Since he'd been a boy I had told him frequently about what I had loved about his mother, the things that had drawn me to her. My love for Margaret had taken me quite by surprise."

"How did you meet her?" Jack asked, curious. He didn't know Henry had ever had a relationship with a woman.

"Margaret was also an artist. I had recently graduated from the School of Visual Arts in New York, and still lived in the city. I discovered Margaret one night whilst walking. She was in Stuyvesant Square. She had broken into the park and was using chalk to draw on the pavement. The work was fantastic, a phenomenal display of color and movement." Henry's face turned sad and nostalgic. "We spoke as she worked. I found her most captivating. I offered to walk her home." 

"You're such a gentleman," Jack teased. 

Henry winked and said, "I was not that night." 

Jack threw his head back and laughed. 

"Margaret had an unquenchable thirst for life. Every moment, experience, and emotion was saturated, overflowing with zeal and vigor. I am an old man. Her vibrancy revived me in ways I had not known I had withered. She poured exuberance into everything she did." He grinned, widely. "One of my fondest memories of Margaret was when we danced together on a Manhattan rooftop during the pouring rain... nude. There was no music, but that which we had made together." 

"Sounds like it was a fun night," Jack remarked. 

"In fact, it had been the middle of the day," Henry said, grinning.  

Jack waggled his eyebrows. "On the roof huh?" 

"In the rain," Henry replied, blushing slightly. 

"Sounds... wet," Jack teased. 

Henry smirked. "Very." 

Jack smirked. "Lightning?" 

"And ground shaking thunder," Henry deadpanned. "Several times." 

The two men laughed heartily, then fell silent and serious.

"She was trying to fill a different sort of emptiness inside her," Jack noted. 

Henry nodded. "An astute observation and one I did not make myself until too late. I was too focused on how wonderful my life had become with Margaret in it. Every day was an adventure." 

"It was like that with me and John," Jack replied. "We brought out the worst in each other, but we sure had fun doing it." 

Henry said, sadly, "Whenever Thomas asked about his mother, I tried to focus on her good points, rewording the truth so Thomas would not grow up with the knowledge of his mother's abandonment, nor know how unstable, violent, and deranged she was. Margaret's true nature began to show once she moved into my apartment. Unable to sell her own work, she quickly became jealous of my own artistic successes. After one of my paintings sold, she ransacked my studio, destroying all of my canvasses and supplies." 

Jack winced.

"It was not the last of such outbursts, which increased in frequency and violence. The last incident was the most frightening and disturbed. She held a knife to her own throat and threatened suicide, demanding I allow her to pass off my work as her own, and raving about some suspected affair within which I was ensconced. I summoned the police and she was committed. I had had enough. I fled to Boston that very day." Henry sighed. "I managed to put Thomas off for a number of years, but when he turned twenty-one, I confessed the truth to him. He was furious with me. We did not speak for nearly a decade."

Jack winced again. "That's a long time. I'm sorry."

Henry wiped his eyes. "It broke my heart. I recently learnt that Thomas used his resources as a police officer to learn more about her. Margaret had spent her life in and out of mental hospitals after a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder as a teenager. He also discovered a long history of drug abuse, arrests, and other deviant behavior. It led to one inevitable conclusion." 

"She died," Jack said, sadly.

Henry nodded. "An overdose of heroin. Just as I had, he felt significant guilt."

"None of that's your fault, Henry," Jack said, frowning.

"I have no idea how, but she found me in Boston. She appeared on my doorstep, heavily pregnant, declaring the child was mine, though that was utterly impossible. Her arms were covered in self-inflicted wounds." He sighed, heavily. "In retrospect, I believe I should have gotten her help. Thomas felt the same. He maintains that had I not continued with such a lengthy deception, he could have found her and helped her, perhaps preventing her death.”

Jack said, sadly, “You can’t help everyone.”

Henry nodded. "As I attempted to explain whilst Thomas shouted he would never speak with nor lay eyes upon me again." 

Jack winced again. “Alice’s mother saw me come back from a bad one. She called me a freak.”

It was Henry’s turn to wince.

“When I got home, the house was empty,” Jack said, sadly. “Alice found me on her own, years later. She’d grown up and I'd missed all of it. She wasn’t my little girl anymore and she’d heard nothing but Lucia's side of the story her whole life. I didn’t want to lie to her, so I told her the truth. She called me a freak too and asked me to stay away from her. She only called me up once to see if there'd be some problem with her pregnancy.” He paused and added, “They make your heart complete and then they break it into a million pieces.”

Henry smiled, sadly, “That they do.” He folded his hands in his lap. “While I do not regret hiding Margaret's true nature from Thomas, I do believe I could have gone about revealing my immortality differently. In hindsight, I should have permitted Thomas to confide in another with the information. As I was the only one with whom he could speak, and he refused to speak with me, he had no support. Left so alone, his revelations regarding his mother only added fuel to an already bitter fire." 

“What about Will?” Jack asked.

“Thomas resented her as well. Though, I believe her absence from our daily lives allowed him to forgive her far more readily. It was I who bore the full force of his hatred and resentment.” Henry replied. He gave Jack a one-shouldered shrug. "Mao-Lin was always 'the fun' parent." 

"How do you think Steven'll react?" Jack asked. 

"I have only the one poor experience from which to draw. I'm afraid I do not know your grandson well enough to determine how he will react to this information," Henry said.

"Oh c'mon, Henry, you’ve been a part of Steven’s life for years. You spend more time with them than I do. Tom and Alice aren't married, but they may as well be. Steven’s your grandson too," Jack said. He tossed the pen down. 

Henry closed his eyes, and bowed his head for a moment, thinking. After a full minute had passed, he opened his eyes and said, "Steven is clever, but often inflexible. He prefers things presented as they are, clearly, in a straightforward fashion. While I believe he will have no issue with the information itself, I believe like Thomas, he will have greater issue with the deception, especially since it has been carried out by so many in his life. It is not just your secret, but the immortals' of the Game as well." 

"Do you think it would be better for Tom to tell him?" Jack asked.

Henry shook his head. "No, I believe Steven will harbor some resentment towards all of the immortals in his life, as Tom did. Possibly, Tom would be the first person Steven will forgive and to whom he will turn for guidance and support. I believe it would be unwise to lay any of Steven's anger at Thomas's feet.”

Jack rotated in his chair. "I was thinking we could all take him out, maybe buy him his first beer." 

Henry raised an eyebrow. "I believe Steven would view such action negatively, as an attempt at bribery. I also believe he would feel ambushed and cornered should we present the information to him in public." 

Jack nodded. "Do you think all of us telling him together would be better than me sitting him down myself? Or do you think it'll look like we're ganging up on him?"

Henry fell silent again. After a few moments, he said, "I think it will be better coming from you and Alice, alone. If we all descend upon him, he would likely feel defensive."

After another nod, Jack leaned across the table for the picture of Alice holding Steven when he was a baby. "He's grown up so much."

Henry let out a small chuckle. "Steven is precisely my own physical age. Almost to the day. He is a fine young man. Alice has done a wonderful job raising him."

"She's a good mum," Jack said. He turned to the newer picture of Alice holding the newborn baby Henry. He asked, "What would you want baby Henry to call you, if he could know you were his grandfather from the start, I mean?" 

Henry smiled and said, "I was considering the traditional Welsh of Taid." 

Jack nodded. "I like that..." 

"And you?" Henry asked. 

"Apa," Jack said, softly. 

"Your native language?" Henry asked. 

Jack nodded. "Maybe we should take little Henry for a walk in the park... to feed the birds." 

"And go to bed early after some cocoa?" Jack suggested. 

The two men laughed heartily.

"We're quite the pair, aren't we?" Jack said

Henry nodded. "We are indeed."

Jack turned around and opened his private safe. He removed a clear bottle and two crystal tumblers. After pouring the liquor into one of the tumblers, he slid it to Henry. He dumped his own water into the other glass, then stood up, holding the glass high. 

"To our children. And our children's children." 

Henry also stood, tapping his glass to Jack's. "May God bless them and keep them." 

Jack tapped his glass to Henry's and Henry sipped the liquor, but Jack hesitated before he drank. He stared down into the glass and said, sadly, "And may He give us the strength to outlive them." 

Henry stared down into his own glass, then drank what remained. He gave Jack a hollow, tortured nod and softly muttered, “Aye, lad. Aye.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should've written this right from the start, but I kept forgetting (this note also appears at the beginning of the story now).  
> This story doesn't have any alien or Torchwood strangeness other than the mpreg. It's mostly character and relationship development. Originally this was a work I wasn't going to publish and had only roughly written as a background piece for my own use, but I decided to polish it up, finish it, and post it.

Once Jack was firmly in the second trimester, the sickness had eased and he'd discontinued his anti-nausea medications. Ianto had assumed it would be clean sailing for the rest of the way, but it seems pregnancy was never dull. Jack started up with food cravings. Ianto had heard women craved odd things when they were pregnant, but he'd never heard about someone having so many different cravings. He also had no idea how someone who'd been sick at the mere mention of food was now eating all manner of freakishness.

Every day, Jack requested one bizarre food after another. It had all started shortly after they'd all vacated the Hub for the asbestos removal. The requests had started out quite benign. The first had been for tomato juice, and he'd drank nothing else for days. Then he had requested actual tomatoes, eating them by the dozen. 

He, Alicia, and Jack were staying in Ianto's old flat. One night, he'd found Jack rummaging through the fridge for orange juice, then lemonade, then grapefruit juice, sometimes mixing all three into a single glass. Next, Jack had begun requesting the fruits themselves in addition to the juice.

By the time Jack hit the four month mark, they were back and the Hub, and Jack's requests for citrus increased. Watching him consume the acidic citrus by the dozen made Ianto's stomach burn. It was one thing to watch someone eat an orange or a grapefruit, but seeing someone peel a lemon or a lime was just odd. As well-prepared and organized individuals, Alicia, Ianto, and Henry tried to keep citrus well stocked in the Hub at all times, but it seems they'd all underestimated the level of Jack's craving. 

"I'm sorry, Yan, I'm hungry and I can't sleep," Jack said.

Sleepily, Ianto blinked at him and said, "We have a refrigerator full of food, and you have to have lemons? I just bought some."

"I ate them already," Jack said, sheepishly.

"There are some upstairs," Ianto replied.

"I ate those too," Jack replied.

"What's going on?" Alicia asked, leaning out of the bedroom door.

"Jack's having a craving," he replied as he put on his shoes.

"Jack! Why'd you wake him up? This is his second night shift in a row! I could've gone to the store for you!" Alicia said.

"It's all right, I'll be right back," Ianto said as he stood and stretched.

"Want me to come with you?" Alicia offered, leaning out of the bedroom.

“No, stay here with him. I'm already dressed,” Ianto said.

The Warder's Orders required an immortal member of the team be on every single rift alert, day and night. It had been something of a juggling act in the beginning with only two immortals on the team. Now, there were three-four if Henry was included in that number, though the Duke only went out into the field when Fish was on night duty. In fact, all the couples served night duty together, except Jack and Ianto. With the addition of Ben and Alicia, their rota had been changed with Jack and Ianto switching off between the two. As Jack was out of the field, Ianto had been picking up his night shift. Last night, he'd been on with Alicia, but tonight he was on with Ben.

Jack had always been pretty lax when it came to evening and night duty. As long as the rift alerts were seen to in a timely fashion and handled properly, the team could do as they pleased, work related or not. Preferences varied by team member, of course. Miranda and Hart both tended to do random work. Fish and Henry slept in the staterooms. Jack had no particular habit, but Alicia and Ianto both slept, usually down in their flat, but on the sofa so if called out they didn't wake anyone. 

When Ianto had gone down to sleep on the flat's sofa, Ben had been at his workstation, playing a video game, as was his own habit. So, that was precisely where Ianto expected to find him.

But Ben wasn't there.

"Ben?" Ianto shouted into the room.

He waited, and there was no answer.

He called out louder, "Ben?"

Again, there was no answer. Instead of walking for the hallway that led to the garage, he walked into the main Hub and began looking around. Maybe Ben had fallen asleep somewhere? Ianto saw no sign of him.

Concerned, he walked over to his workstation and logged in. He opened the rift alert program and saw that there had indeed been a small rift alert.

Ianto sighed. This was now something more important going on than Jack's lemon craving. He went back down to the flat and opened the door.

"Wow, that was fast," Alicia said.

"I'm sorry, Alicia, you're going to have to go to the shops for him. Ben isn't upstairs. He's seeing to a rift alert. Alone," Ianto said.

"What?" Jack cried. 

"What a fucking bell end," Alicia muttered. 

Ianto grinned. Alicia had been using more and more of the local swear words.

"Calm down, Jack. I'm going to talk to him when he gets back." He held out his keys for Alicia. "Pick up limes and grapefruit too. And oranges. At least two or three dozen of each.”

Alicia nodded and took the keys, then went into the bedroom to get dressed.

"What do you think I should do other than a gigantic bollocking?" Ianto asked.

"I thought we were done with this," Jack said with a sigh.

"I know," Ianto replied.

"Reckless and dangerous." Jack shook his head and then tucked his chin into his chest, thinking. After a few moments, he said, "I don’t care about the rest but I want his field clearance revoked for at least a month and full probation until we decide otherwise."

Ianto was about to protest the harsh punishment, but instead, ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah, you're right, it's time to start exacting some more serious consequences. We've been lenient enough."

Alicia bounced out into the room and kissed them both on the cheek. "Be back in a jiff."

Once she was gone, Ianto turned to Jack and said, "I'm worried Ben's fallen off the wagon."

"I'm worried about the same thing," Jack said, sighing.

"Do you think I should go out to the alert site? Make sure he's all right?" Ianto asked.

Jack shrugged. "You might pass him and he'd end up back here. Did you try calling him?"

"No, because that would've made sense," Ianto said, sighing. He hadn't thought of it. He took out his mobile and dialed Ben. The call rang and then went to the answer phone. "No answer. Cachu.”

Unlike the last time, Ianto needed to know where Ben was. While the program narrowed Ben's location, Ianto swore again. Ben likely had the SUV and Ianto had just given the keys to his own car to Alicia. He walked to the wall and hit the intercom. "Alicia, wait." 

A few moments went by and a voice responded. "Yeah?"

"I want to make sure Ben's all right before you go. Hang on."

He glanced at his phone. Fortunately, the tracker showed Ben was on his way back to the Hub and he breathed a sigh of relief. He hit the intercom button, "It's all right, go. Ben's on his way back. Drive safely, Cariad." 

"I'll be back soon," she said and then the intercom cut out.

Ianto turned to Jack. "I’m going to go upstairs and wait for him."

Jack nodded, lifting his t-shirt to scratch at his belly.

"Still itchy?" Ianto asked.

Jack nodded, rolling his eyes. "I hated the itching before. I feel like it's worse this time and starting earlier too."

"You all right here by yourself?" Ianto asked.

Jack nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine, Yan. I'm going to go lay back down though."

Ianto leaned and kissed the top of Jack's head. "I'll be right upstairs if you need anything."

“Thanks, Ianto,” Jack said, smiling. 

When Ianto went back upstairs, the Hub was still empty. He dragged his own chair over to Ben's workstation and waited. It was only a few minutes before he heard Ben's footsteps. The young man was staring down at his phone as he walked. Ianto stood and cleared his voice loudly. Ben's head snapped up and his eyes went wide.

"I take it you understand that we have a problem," Ianto said, clasping his hands behind his back.

Ben jerked his thumb over his shoulder but Ianto cut him off. "Don't."

He walked over to Ben and stood beside him. "You're on Weevil duty for six months. Effective immediately, you're on full disciplinary probation-”

“For fuck’s sake, for how long?” Ben cried. 

Ianto shouted, “Until stop acting like a fucking knob, Private!”

Ben snapped to attention automatically at the sound of his UNIT rank. This time, Ianto didn't tell him to ease up. “In addition, your field clearance is revoked-" 

"But-"

"What the fuck about this situation says you should speak? You should be happy I'm not retconning you into last sodding year!" Ianto snapped. He jerked his head towards the north stairs. "Weevil duty for six months. Your field status is revoked until further noticed. And you're on full disciplinary probation until further notice. Dismissed."

"But-"

"Piss off," Ianto said, pointing.

Ben sighed and turned towards the north stairs. Then he stopped and turned back, snapping, "You know, you and Alicia are dealing with enough. It was a small spike. I'm not a fucking child, I can handle things on my own."

Ianto wanted to yell that this wasn't a debate, but snapped out, "Ben, I'm bloody fucking tired of explaining the rules to you over and over again. We are on night duty together for a reason-"

"And we're down an immortal," Ben said, waving down the stairs. "Jack's in the family way and can't be running around out in the field. You're pulling double duty to take up the slack and I'm not just talking about the extra night duty shift."

"Ben, for fuck’s sake, the rules are there for a reason!" Ianto replied. "Do you think I want to load you into a sodding drawer downstairs?" 

"It was a small spike, only one fucking point away from what I've been trained to ignore. You know and I know that the low limit is too conservative. Things five points above that threshold never produce artefacts, you and Joe are just being overly cautious. I drove out to Splott, took a look around, found nothing, and came right back. The worst thing that could've happened to me is getting mugged. The worst thing that could've happened to you is getting your bloody head chopped off, so bend me over and fuck me because I didn't feel the need to wake you up when you've not got a decent night's sleep in over four fucking months."

Even though Ben had made some good points, he still wasn't right.  

"This isn't just about tonight, Ben, this is about your regular pattern of ignoring protocol," Ianto said. 

"This isn't fucking UNIT-"

"No, it's not!" Ianto said as he strode over to him. "UNIT doesn't lose an average of one point five people a year to alien activity."

"No one's died-"

"Because of the rules you keep fucking disregarding, Private!" Ianto roared.

Ben looked straight ahead and snapped to attention again. Ianto took a deep breath and reined in his temper.

"Carry on," Ianto said, sighing. "Ben, look mate, I didn't want to say anything... but are you all right?"

Ben gave him a suspicious look. "What do you mean?"

"I mean the last time you were acting out like this... there was a problem," Ianto said.

Last year when Andrew Darby had ran wild, Ben had confessed romantic feelings for Alicia and a fair bit of jealousy because Ianto had been the target of Alicia's affections and not him. When he and Jack had started seeing Alicia, they'd both worried how Ben would react. At first, the young man had seemed fine, but now that Ianto was looking back, he could see it. Ben had been deteriorating, slowly, ever since.

"Ianto, that was last sodding year," Ben said, rolling his eyes. "I'm over it."

Exasperated, Ianto demanded, "Well, if that's not it, then what the bloody hell is wrong?"

"Nothing," Ben said, turning. He stopped, "Am I dismissed, sir?" 

After taking a deep breath, Ianto walked over to Ben. He said, flatly, "Look I'm going to take a page out of your book for a minute, and just say it. There's something going on with you and I know it." 

Terror flashed across Ben's face for a split second. 

Ianto reached out and touched his arm, gently. "Ben, look, it's just us here right now. I know I just got done shouting at you... but I'm not your boss now. I'm not your colleague. I'm your friend. And as your friend, I'm worried about you." He paused and said, "If something is wrong, mate, you can talk to me. Whatever it is, we'll sort it. But I can't help you if you won't talk to me." 

Anguish spread across Ben's face. 

Ianto stepped closer and said, "Let me help you, Ben." He paused and added, "We can help bring you through this."

Ben's eyes lost focus and the anguish vanished, replaced with confusion. He blinked at Ianto a few times, then frowned. "What?" 

"We can bring you through this, Ben," Ianto repeated. 

"God brought me to it and He can bring me through it," he recited.

Ianto nodded. "Exactly. First thing's first, you need to talk to me. It's okay to ask for help." 

Ben tilted his head and narrowed his eyes at Ianto. "And then, this too shall pass." 

"Yes," Ianto answered. 

Ben took a step back and said, "You know." 

Ianto dropped his hand and nodded. "It wasn't right of me, but you'd been so bloody off the rails, I asked Shawn to follow you for a few days."

"And he saw me leave a meeting," Ben said, flatly. The anguish was replaced with relief. 

Ianto nodded. "I'm sorry." 

Ben reached into his pocket and handed Ianto a small red coin. 

"One month," Ianto said, reading the numbers. He gave the coin back.

After pocketing the coin, Ben said, "After that piss-up in London, I realized I was losing control again. I didn't have a drop, but I sure as fuck wanted to. I turned in my old chip and started back at the beginning." He sighed. "It's why you've been letting me get away with so much isn't it?"

"I figured you were having it rough," Ianto said, shaking his head. 

"Do Jack and Alicia know?" Ben asked. 

Ianto admitted, "I had to tell Jack, but I didn't tell anyone else. We were surprised it hadn't come up on your background check." 

"It's called Alcoholics Anonymous," Ben snipped. 

"Not to Torchwood it isn't and you should know that." 

Ben shook his head. "I never hit rock bottom. I was drinking a lot before my uncle killed himself. Then I was drinking even more after, but I was still functional. I could hear him, in my head, you know? 'You drink too much Benji. Don't end up like me, Benji. Get it together, Benji.' I didn't think I had a problem. I was in control. I tried to prove it to myself and when I couldn't let go, I realized he was right."

"I won't say a word to the rest of the team if you don't want me to," he insisted. 

Ben nodded. "Thanks for that." 

He put his hand on Ben's shoulder. "Anything you need, Ben. I can have Fish stop asking you to the pub quiz night. I can lock up all the alcohol in the Hub or toss it. If you need to switch a shift or need time to pop out for a meeting, you have it. Whatever you need, mate."

Ben looked sheepish and said, hesitantly, "My old sponsor, he's in London-"

"The unexpected trips," Ianto said, nodding. "Don't worry about it. Just let me know directly from now on, all right?" 

"I feel bloody awful about it, mate, I do, with us down Jack and Gwen's still on leave-"

"Hey, we'll manage, sometimes I get face-to-face is more important than a phone call," Ianto insisted. He waved around the Hub. "As Mandy's fond of saying, her and Jack handled this place, alone, for five years." 

"Yeah, mate, just because they did it doesn't mean they should've," Ben said, rolling his eyes. He looked down at his feet. "I appreciate it, Ianto, I do." 

Ianto put his arm around Ben and pulled him in for a very brief hug. "It's all right, mate. You need anything, you let me know." 

Ben sniffled hard as he left the embrace. "Thanks, Ianto."

For a moment, Ben hesitated, looking as if he needed and desperately want to tell Ianto something, to make some confession. But the look vanished.

He cleared his throat and asked, "I understand about my field clearance, mate... but the full probation..."

"I'm sorry, mate, I can't," Ianto said. "Ben, you've nothing to be ashamed of." 

"Right," he said, nastily. He flicked his neck. "This fucking thing on every hour of every second of every fucking day. I go off to a meeting, you'll know. I go near a bar and stand outside, you'll  know. Great. Thanks." He shook his mobile. "How am I supposed to go to a meeting when everything everyone says can be heard through this?"

"That's the way it's gotta be, mate," Ianto said.

The anguish returned and he cried, fearfully, "You can't! You don't understand!" Ben grabbed fistfuls of his hair and pulled. "Why don't you just put a fucking bullet in my brain?" 

Ianto blinked, taken aback by the mad display. "Oi, easy!"

He paused, thinking.

"All right, Ben. I see your point. And you're right. We should be respectful of your recovery and the other people at your meetings. I'll waive the probation, but you're still out of the field until further notice. Weevil duty for six months."

Relief washed over Ben's face. He closed his eyes and drew a shaky breath. "Thank you, Ianto. Thank you."

"Go on, get some sleep," Ianto said. 

"Nah, mate, lemme finish out tonight with you," Ben replied. He rubbed his trembling hands together. 

Ianto shook his head, "Go on. You've no field clearance."

For a moment, Ianto though the anguish returned, but it wasn't anguish on Ben's face this time. It was shame. "I'm sorry, Ianto. I'm sorry I keep disappointing you."

"You can make it up to me by staying sober," Ianto replied.

"Right, mate... right..." Ben said as he walked out of the main Hub.

Once he heard the light click of the stairwell door shutting, Ianto logged into his workstation. Despite what he'd just told Ben, he turned on the young man's subcutaneous tracker, and changed its settings. It would now alert Ianto to all of Ben's movements, sending an alert to Ianto's mobile whenever Ben left the Hub or the Cardiff city limits. Next, he opened the audio and visual surveillance programs. He set the camera and microphone in Ben's room and the ones on his mobile to continuously record. 

Ianto understood the surveillance was a violation of privacy, but for a Torchwood operative, privacy was a privilege. Every agent underwent full surveillance as part of their probationary period. When Ben had first come to the team, that surveillance had been waived since he'd come straight from UNIT. Now Ianto was wondering if that had been more of an error than an oversight. The level of terror, anguish, and shame Ben displayed was completely disproportionate to the discussion. Ben had legitimately been fearful for his life, but why would someone afraid for their life take so many risks with it? 

For good measure, Ianto turned on the camera in Ben's room. Ben was sitting on the edge of the bed, sobbing, his arms around his belly. He ripped his shirt off and then laid back on the bed, curling into a foetal position. 

There was something very wrong, and Ianto needed to find out what it was.

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

For some reason, Ianto and Alicia had been reluctant to let Jack drive to Alice's alone. In fact, they'd been reluctant to allow him to even leave the Hub. They'd fussed over him as he'd taken the SUV keys in hand, saying someone would notice he was pregnant or he'd be ill on the way there or back. Yes, the pregnancy was showing, but Jack could still pass it off as a bit of extra weight. And yes, he was still getting sick every once in a while, but nothing like before. He shrugged off their concerns and headed to his daughter's house. 

Alice opened the door and let Jack in. “Hi Dad, come in. Something to drink?”

He smiled and shrugged himself out of his coat. “Just water thanks, honey.”

As he followed her into the kitchen, she looked back at him over her shoulder. “Are you waddling already?”

He rolled his eyes. He hated the waddling. “It starts earlier in men. Tendons and ligaments thickened by testosterone don't like the relaxin. The narrower pelvis doesn't help either. A lot of men develop third trimester sacral luxation when the baby turns head down. Pregnancy is actually more uncomfortable for men than women.”

"Oi, it's been pretty uncomfortable for us since the beginning of the bloody species, so welcome to the misery." Alice chuckled and held out a large glass of water. “How are you feeling otherwise?”

Jack shrugged. “My blood pressure is up but that’s normal in male pregnancy too.”

“It’s a trip to hear you talk about normal when talking about male pregnancy. I think male pregnancy is the exact opposite of normal,” Alice said, still chuckling.

“Well in my time no one looks twice at a pregnant man,” Jack said. He gulped at the water. "Baby asleep?" 

She nodded. "Must be something he gets from Tom. He's already on a schedule and sleeping through the night and he’s barely over two moths old. He can also sleep through just about anything. Steven was never this good of a sleeper."

"Tom at work?" he asked.

"Yes, he won't be back for a few hours," she replied. "Steven's at a friend's."

"He decide what he wants to do for his gap year?" Jack asked.

She shook her head. "He's talking about staying around for the baby, to help, but I told him he shouldn't do that even though his friends are talking about backpacking across Europe or volunteering in Africa or traveling around Australia or America and I'm not keen on him going so far away." 

"He'll figure out what he wants to do," Jack said, shrugging. He cleared his throat and continued, "I wanted to know if it would be all right for me and maybe Henry to come by one night."

"I said after this pregnancy thing was done, Dad," Alice warned.

"I think he needs to know all of it, honey," Jack said, cautiously.

"All of what? That you're from the future? That you're part alien?" She waved her hand at his expanding middle. "That you're pregnant? No, Dad. I'm not overwhelming him with all of this madness at once! The immortal part is enough. Leave your being from the future and the other stuff out of it for now." 

Jack stood up and pressed his hands together. "Sweetie, listen to me. We cannot give him all this in pieces. He's going to be upset enough that we've kept it..." 

He trailed off as a wave of dizziness came over him and he sat back down. He half missed the seat and Alice shot her hand across the worktop to grab his arm. 

"Dad?" Alice cried, alarmed. She moved around to his side and gripped his arms firmly, not that she'd ever have a prayer of holding him up if he went down. "You okay?"

"Just dizzy," he said, blinking a few times. "The medicine to keep my blood pressure down makes me dizzy if I stand up too fast, especially if I turn at the same time."

Alice walked over and refilled his water glass. "You need to drink more water. That seems the pregnancy solution for everything-more water."

She set it down and sat on the stool next to him. He began to drink, and with a sigh, said, "I know we can't put this off. It's been like this at every milestone. He's ready and I'm not. You look older than me, Dad, and 'Uncle Jack's just got a baby face' isn't cutting it anymore, but I don't want to overwhelm him."

Staring down at the worktop, she said, "Just you and Henry?"

Jack nodded. "I know the baby can't go out in public yet, but Henry and I agree it's best if we do this without the two of you here."  

"Tom wanted to be there," Alice said, looking up.

"I know, but Henry's worried if he's here, Steven'll be cross with him too and we need him to have a support system," Jack said.

He tilted his head down and blinked rapidly. Alice's hand was on his arm again. 

"Dad?" she asked. "Should I phone Auntie Mei-Mei?"

He shook his head. "No, I just feel really light headed and queasy all of a sudden." He flicked his eyes to the glass. "I probably drank that too fast, it was kinda cold."

He let out a little retch.  

"Oh, that sounded worse. Do not get sick in my kitchen!" she pointed. "Loo! Now! Better out than in!"

Jack walked into the small washroom, taking the glass of water with him. Once he was done and cleaned up, he walked back into Alice's kitchen.

"Sorry," he said, leaning against the door. 

"It's all right," she said, smiling. 

"It wasn't this bad last time," Jack said, rolling his eyes. He paused and added, "I actually fainted a few weeks ago." 

Alice refilled Jack's water. After passing the glass to him, she sighed. "Do you think he'll hate me for keeping all this from him?"

Jack shook his head, sitting down on the stool again. "It's not your fault, honey. It's mine. This is my secret, after all." He let out a small laugh. "I liked being the fun uncle. At least I still get to spoil him."  

"When will you tell him?" Alice asked. There was some fear in her voice.

"Maybe this weekend?" he offered. 

Alice squeezed her father's hand. "How about this Friday?" 

Jack nodded, taking a deep shaky breath. "Then we can tell him." 

A voice snapped out, "Tell me what?"

Alice and Jack's heads both whipped around. "Steven!"

"Sorry I'm home early, Mum. George's girlfriend stopped by and he told me to piss off." He slammed his bag down on the worktop. "Tell me what?" 

"Steven... Sweetie-"

"No! Don't sweetie me!" he snapped. He turned to Jack. "What's going on Uncle, Jack?"

"Steven... look, soldier-"

"I'm not eight anymore!" He glared at them and his eyes began to fill with tears. "You haven't looked so great the last few times you've come round. You're sick aren't you?" The tears started to fall as his shoulders shook. "Is it cancer? Are you dying?"

Alice and Jack looked at each other, shocked. Of all the conclusions Jack had expected Steven to leap to, that wasn't one of them. Their silence seemed to cause him to spiral. 

"That's what you want to tell me, isn't it? You're dying?" Steven asked. He roughly wiped his eyes and sniffled. "How long do you have?" 

Jack tried to speak, "Steven-"

"You and Tom always stop talking when I come in the bloody room," Steven said to his mother. "You're constantly whispering into your mobile talking to Uncle Henry and Auntie."

He wiped his eyes again and turned to his Uncle, trying to push forward a stiff upper lip, and said, "I'm not a little kid anymore, Uncle Jack. I get you're trying to protect me, but I can take it. I'm a man." He looked at his Mum. "Your face always fucking twisted when I asked about him and you kept him away for years. It's why you two buried the hatchet, isn't it? You finally let him come round more because he was sick?" 

Alice looked at her father, wide eyed. Jack was just as gobsmacked. The wheels of Steven's mind had apparently been turning in this direction for some time.

"I don't have to go away for my gap year," Steven said, shaking his head firmly. "I'll stay here. We can spend as much time together as you've got left, Uncle Jack. I can help out. I can be here for you. Anything you need. I've got a driving license now. I can take you to your treatments, sit with you. I tried to do some research online, but since I didn't know what sort you had, I couldn't find anything." 

Jack finally regained his wits. He couldn't believe how proud he was of his grandson's maturity and selflessness, not to mention his initiative. He took Steven in his arms. "No, Steven, that's not it, I'm not sick and I'm not dying. I'm sorry I scared you, buddy."

Steven hugged him tightly, as he cried. "You fucking bastard! You scared the piss out of me! My mate said this was how everyone was before they told him his Mum had cancer and she died a couple months later!"

He gave Jack a half-hearted punch in the back. "You fucking wanker!"

"Hey, stop the swearing," Jack said.

"Sorry, Uncle Jack. I'm just so relieved you're not sick or dying or something else awful!" He pulled back and glared at Jack. "Then what's going on if you're not sick? Because you really have looked terrible lately." He pointed at Jack's belly. "I looked it up and I thought you had ascites!" 

"What?" Alice asked, finally speaking. 

"Fluid in his belly. I was reading it can happen with cancer," Steven explained. 

Jack rolled his eyes. "You gotta be careful with googling too much, soldier." 

He guided Steven to one of the bar stools and sat him down. "This isn't how your Mum and I wanted to do this."

"We want you to know, we're here for your, Steven. All of us," she said, looking scared and nervous.

Steven leaned back from them and put up his hands, looking alarmed. He looked back and forth between them. "Okay you two are really freaking me out now, because if he's not sick or something then I have no idea what this could be. What's going on?"

Jack took a breath. He hadn't had a chance to think about this, at all. All he'd done was planned when he wanted to do it, not how. He took a deep breath and said, "You know where I work right?"

"No, never had a clue. Mum wouldn't say," Steven said, frowning. "What's that to do with anything?"

"I'm getting there. Do you know what Torchwood is?" Jack asked. 

"Yeah, an urban legend, like Cardiff's version of X-Files," Steven replied. 

"It's real. I work for Torchwood. We deal with anything unusual... like time travel," Jack said. 

Steven looked around. "You two aren't having one over on me, are you? Because that's really fucking cruel. I bloody thought he was dying."

"No, Steven..." Alice said, then turned to her father. She gave him a nervous shrug.

"I'm from the future," Jack said, opening his wrist strap. He showed the display to his grandson. "The fifty-first century. This is a vortex manipulator. It's used to travel through time and space."

"Is that how you got here?" he asked, fascinated. 

"It's a long story. This doesn't work anymore. I was very far in the future, and I programmed it to come back here, but the jump was too far for it, and burned it out," Jack explained.

"So you were stuck here? Wow, that sucks... Wait, so you're from the future too, Mum? What are you some brother-sister time traveling duo?" He smiled and let out a little laugh. "Sounds like something on the telly, it does."

"And here we are," Alice muttered as she rolled her eyes and sighed.   

Jack swallowed hard. "Steven, now I know this is going to sound impossible, but I promise you I'm telling you the truth. See, your mother isn't my sister... She's my daughter... I'm not your uncle... I'm your grandfather."

Steven stood up so fast the stool toppled over. He pointed at Jack. "What the actual fucking fuck?"

"Steven!" Alice cried.

"No, I think multiple fucking f-bombs are totally fucking justified here, Mum!" Steven shouted. "How the fuck are you my fucking grandfather? You look younger than Mum!"

His eyes darted wildly back and forth between his mother and his grandfather. "Are you like part alien or something? Does that mean I'm part alien?"

"Steven, calm down, buddy," Jack said. He held out his hand and, against his better judgement, stood up. "Something happened to me in the future..."

He paused, trying to think how to explain what Rose had done to him, but decided it was just too complicated. "Something happened to me in the future. I don't die and I don't really age much. It's a long story and it's hard to explain, because there's a lot of time travel involved."

Steven's eyes became a little less frantic. "But you're human?"

"Mostly, yeah, but when I'm from no one's a hundred percent human anymore," Jack replied.

"But if you're saying you don't die and don't age, why do you look like warmed over shite?" Steven asked.

"Steven!" Alice snapped.

"Well, he does!" Steven said, waving his hand at his grandfather. "Can you still get sick?" 

Jack turned to his daughter and said, "Maybe you're right, honey, and we should do this one step at a time." 

Steven slammed his hand down on the worktop. "Oi! Whatever the fuck it is you better lay it on me now, because I don't think I can handle more this sodding shite later! I've already found out that you're from the future, don't die and you're my grandfather so I don't know how much fucking weirder this can get!"

With a snort of nervous laughter, Alice waved at her father and said, "Go on, Dad."

"I'm pregnant," Jack said. "I've got bad morning sickness." 

"What?" Steven gasped. He paused and looked like he was trying to catch up. "You're a pregnant transman?"

Jack had to give his grandson points for the non-binary thinking. "No, Steven. There's a lot more infertility science in the future. In the fifty-first century, men can carry and give birth to babies too."

Steven's eyes flicked down to Jack's crotch. "I don't want to know where that kid's coming out of."

"STEVEN!" Alice cried, appalled.

"It's a c-section delivery, just so we're all clear there," Jack said loudly, rolling his eyes. He said, "I'm acting as a surrogate for Aunt Gwen and Uncle Rhys."

Steven frowned, then he asked, "When's the baby going to be born?"

"I'm sixteen weeks now, so not until the spring," Jack replied.

He picked up the stool and sat on it. "What should I call you now?"

"Whatever you want, soldier," Jack said. "You want to stick with Uncle Jack, I'm fine with that. I understand this is weird."

Steven frowned. "Do Aunt Alicia and Uncle Ianto know?"

He and Alice shared another nervous look.

"Oh for fuck's sake, what the fuck aren't you telling me now?" Steven cried. He dramatically flopped his head into his folded up arms on the worktop. He sat up. "You know what? I'm not going to ask how much weirder this shite can get because that was just fucking asking for it." 

"How about we save that for another day because that story doesn't just involve me. It's why I didn't want to do this alone," Jack insisted.

"Oh sod a dog... Just fucking tell me," Steven groaned. 

After taking a deep breath, Jack explained about Ianto and other immortals of the Game. To his surprise, Steven was taking all of this better than he'd thought he would. But leaping from one immortal oddity to another probably wasn't as difficult as Jack thought. 

"So wait, you're telling me you age slow and don't die, and Uncle Ianto doesn't die either, but doesn't age," Steven asked, frowning. He slammed his hands down on the worktop, slid them off and waved them both in the air. "Now I'm just fucking confused."

Alice said, "Steven, your grandfather is different from Ianto. Something made him like this. He can age, he's just doing it very, very slowly. Ianto and Auntie Mei-Mei, they don't age at all, they were just born that way."

"Wait, Auntie Mei-Mei's immortal too?" Steven cried.

"Might as well tell him all of it, Dad," Alice said, sighing.

"Your Uncle Henry too," Jack replied.

"What about Uncle Joe?" Steven asked.

"Just Uncle Henry," Alice said. She paused and added, "Henry is Tom's adoptive father."

Steven glared at both of them. "This sibling story gets a lot of fucking mileage, don't it?"

"Steven!" Alice shouted.

"You two have been fucking lying to me my whole sodding life! You've only told me because you've had to, haven't you? You'd've kept going with the lies if you could've!" Steven shouted.

Jack spat back, "Hey, I get that this sucks, but remember this isn't how we wanted to do it. You're the one who wanted the story now. I'm sorry if that doesn't jive with you, but-"

"Jive? Well, that settles it, you are my grandfather," Steven said, rolling his eyes. He stood there for a second, looking back and forth between Jack and Alice, then said, "I'm so done with this and I'm so done with all of you. You're telling me he's my fucking grandfather? And that Uncle Henry's my step-father's dad which makes him my step-grandfather when he looks like he's barely older than I am!"

"Actually Henry is physically your age exactly," Jack said, without thinking and Alice slapped his arm.

"Dad! Not fucking helping!" she snapped. She turned to her son. "Steven, I know this is a lot-"

"No, Mum, a lot doesn't even begin to cover it! I'm guessing that all this weird shite isn't something I'm allowed to talk to my friends about, is it?" Steven asked.

Alice shook her head. "But you can talk to me, or Tom, or Henry, or-"

"That's just fucking perfect. You know what? I'm done, I am. Fuck this and fuck both of you!" Steven spat and started to walk away. 

Jack barked, "Hey!" He got up and walked after Steven. "Hey! Hey! Don't you walk away from us, young man! Steven! Steven! Get back here! STEVEN!"

He stomped his way up the stairs and then slammed his bedroom door. Jack winced at the sound and then waited for the wail of an infant, but it didn't come. Jack sighed, then looked at his daughter who shrugged.

She said, "He probably just needs time, Dad. I'm amazed the noise didn't wake up Henry."  

"I didn't want to do it like this," Jack replied, sitting down. 

Alice put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "I'm going to ring Tom and Henry, let them know what's happened." 

"I'm sorry, honey," Jack said, softly. 

She said, "Dad, it's not your fault. Stop apologizing. There's nothing you can do to change who and what you are." She sighed and continued, "Actually, I'm the one who should apologize to you."

"What? Why, honey?" Jack asked.

Alice sat down and folded her hands in her lap. "When you grow up, that illusion your parents are perfect fades, and you realize they're just people, flawed, and just trying to make their own way, the same as you are. But when I grew up, I found out about all this and the strangeness was all I could see. It was a new illusion to replace the old one. And the whole idea that you're just a man was simply forgotten again."

Jack swallowed and blinked back the tears. 

"Tom helped me see that. He helped me see through it and realize that it's just pure happenstance. All of it. You got bounced around through time and everything strange in your life is nothing more than just an unusual set of circumstances, but they're still just circumstances, just different because of when and where you're from. It's still life, it's just not what I'm used to, is all."

Jack let the tears flow freely. He could scarcely believe what he was hearing.

Alice looked him in the eyes and said, "Mum fed me a lot of poison, and it's not an excuse, but I'm sorry I listened to it for so long. And I'm sorry, Dad, for all the pain I've caused you, telling you to stay away and keeping you out of our lives. I want things to be different from now on. You're welcome here, any time, if that's what you still want." 

Jack could no longer hold back the sobs. He stood and threw his arms around his daughter. "You're my baby, honey. It's always what I want."

Alice started to cry. "I love you, Dad." 

Jack let out a few sobs and hugged his daughter tighter. He hadn't heard Alice say those words first since she was a little girl. It was like hearing her first cries all over again. His heart overflowed with joy and love. He buried his face in her hair and sobbed, "I love you too, honey."

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

As predicted, Steven was angrier than a kicked hornets’ nest and completely shut everyone out, including Tom. Alice was beside herself, ringing Jack almost daily for a shoulder to cry on. His daughter often confessed she now knew exactly what she'd put him through all those years and felt as if this was sort of comeuppance for it. Jack continued to reassure her that was not the case. Steven had every right to be upset and he would come around eventually, but after a month, he still wouldn’t speak to anyone. Jack took the complete silence as a poor sign. He'd rather Steven was lashing out or yelling at them. At least then he'd know Steven was at least processing and digesting the information. This stone cold silence worried Jack the most. Silence from Alice had never meant anything good. The whole situation combined with his hormones had Jack beside himself. He'd been crying at night, on and off, and his blood pressure didn't need any encouragement to rise. 

"One forty over ninety," Martha said, removing the cuff. "What am I going to do with you, Jack Harkness?" 

Jack shrugged and opened his mouth to speak but Martha cut him off. She pointed at him and said, "If you say that hypertension is common in male pregnancy, I will box your ears!" 

"What about adding another medication?" Miranda asked.

"I think we might be there. He's nearly at the maximum dose for what he's already on," Martha said. 

"We miss anything?" Gwen asked from the stairs. 

"Haven't started," Martha replied. 

"How you doing, Martha?" Rhys asked. 

Martha smiled, kissing his cheek. "Good, thanks. You?" 

While everyone caught up and made small talk, Jack began to unbutton his shirt. He held it out to Miranda.

"Thanks, Will," he said.

She patted his shoulder gently, then looked up. "Ah, just in time, you two. We're about to start."

"Wouldn't miss it," Alicia said, smiling. She walked over and put her arm around Jack from behind. She looked at Miranda and asked, "Hey, when will the rest of us be able to feel anything?"

"Soon," Miranda replied. "Another week possibly."

Brightly, Martha stepped around and patted the table. "Hop on up, Jack. Let's take a look. Get comfortable, we'll be here a while. I need to measure everything." 

Once Jack was settled, Martha dragged the machine over and placed the probe onto his belly. As always, the resulting o's and ah's began. To Ianto's annoyance, every time Martha focused on a structure, she asked him questions like he was taking some sort of anatomical pop quiz. 

"What am I measuring now, Ianto?" Martha asked.

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Must we turn this beautiful occasion into a lesson in ultrasonography?" 

"It's more of an anatomy lesson, actually," Miranda snickered. 

"Both of you can fuck off," Ianto said, rolling his eyes. "And it's the kidney." 

"Ding, ding," Martha said, smiling. "Ten points to Hufflepuff!" 

Ianto glared at her. "Hufflepuff? Seriously?" 

"Why do you always take offense to being called loyal and hard working, Yan?" Jack asked. 

"Ianto's all Gryffindor," Gwen giggled. 

Alicia said, "I agree with Gwen. Not that there's anything wrong with Hufflepuff. I consider myself one. And how on earth can you know that's a kidney? It just looks like a bunch of snowy static!" 

"Ianto?" Martha asked. 

After rolling his eyes, Ianto said, "The sliced tomato appearance."

"Ten points to Gryffindor," Martha corrected.

Alicia squinted, but said, "I got nothing."

"What causes that appearance, Ianto?" Martha asked.

Irritated, he stood up and pointed as he spoke. "The renal pyramids, the calyces, and the renal pelvis."

"Ding, ding," Martha said again. She flicked her gaze to Miranda. "Just like you said, a natural." 

"I have properly learnt my anatomy," Ianto said, rolling his eyes again. "And unless you've forgotten, I do have excellent recall."

Rhys said, "I'm with Alicia. I can never see squat on these things."

"It just take practice. It's kind of like learning a new language. You know how a foreign language sounds like gibberish at first, and then when you learn some of it you can start to pick out words? Then sentences? That's kind of what this is like," Martha said. She removed the probe and said, "If you lot want to know the sex, I can tell you now.” 

They all looked at Jack. 

“What are you all looking at me for?” he said. He looked at Gwen and Rhys. “This is your baby. Do you want to know?” 

Gwen tilted her head. “Jack, we agreed that you, Alicia, and Ianto are going to be a part of this baby's life. This pregnancy involves you three as much as it involves us. This is your decision too.” 

Ianto said, shrugging. “I think I'd like to wait. There aren’t a lot of good surprises in the world.” 

“I’m really indifferent about it,” Jack said. 

“I’m not patient enough to wait,” Rhys said, with a laugh. “I want to know what colour paint I need to buy!” 

“Do we have to force her into your quaint little gender roles? She's not even born yet,” Jack whinged. 

“She?” Gwen asked. 

Jack immediately shrugged and said, “Just a feeling I have.” 

“Gwen?” Miranda asked. 

“I'd always wanted to know before,” she said, shrugging. She turned to Alicia. "What do you think?"

"I'm with Rhys. I'm too impatient," she replied.

"So that's three for, one against, one abstaining?" Martha asked, grinning. When the five of them shrugged, Martha laughed and said, "The ayes have it."

After applying another squirt of gel onto Jack's belly, she began to shift the probe. "Now let's see if this little one cooperates..."

"Cooperates?" Alicia asked.

"The baby needs to be in the right position," Miranda explained. She glanced at the screen and frowned. "Not cooperating..."

"I hope that's not a sign of things to come," Rhys joked.

Jack looked at Gwen and said, "With those genes?"

Rhys said, "You've got a point there, Jack."

Gwen slapped the back of her hand into Rhys's chest. "You big oaf."

Martha dug the ultrasound probe into Jack's belly.

"Oooh, oww, Martha!" he said.

"That's for causing marital strife," she said, with a wink. "Actually, I'm trying to get the baby to change position."

She did it again, eliciting another yelp from Jack. "Ah there we go... and... Well, well, points to Jack! He had it right. Congratulations, it's a girl!" She patted Jack's arm. "All done. You can sit up."

Ianto threw his arm around Alicia who was starting to cry. Gwen and Rhys both cheered. Jack sat up and reached for some paper towels as Martha wiped the gel off the probe. 

Martha laughed and began putting the ultrasound machine away. She said, "I wouldn't want to be a fly on the wall for the name discussion."

"Oh, we haven't even thought of names," Gwen said, cautiously.  

Jack said, softly, "Anwen." 

"What was that, Jack?" Gwen asked.

Louder, Jack said, "Anwen."

Gwen grinned slowly. "Anwen. We've never considered that one before. I like it."

"Solid Welsh name," Ianto said. 

Rhys thought for a second and said, "I like it too. Mary as a middle name, after your mother?" 

Jack's looked up as he wiped his belly, looking slightly startled. 

Alicia said, "Anwen Mary Williams."

Jack awkwardly cleared his throat. "Cooper."  

"What? Anwen Mary Cooper?" Rhys said, laughing, "I know you lot calling me Mrs. Cooper's just some piss taking, but that might be taking it a bit far." 

"I think Jack meant Anwen Mary Cooper Williams," Ianto replied, shrugging.

Rhys said, "Anwen Mary Cooper Williams?" 

"Bit long, isn't it?" Gwen asked. 

Jack said, with a slight smirk, "I think it's perfect." 

Rhys and Gwen shared a wordless conversation and then they both nodded.

Gwen said, "Anwen Mary Cooper Williams it is." 

The corners of Jack's mouth quirked upwards as he rested his hand on his belly. The baby fluttered within him. "She likes it." 

"Never thought five people could come to such a decision so quickly," Martha said, smiling. "I'll be back for the birth. Barring any complications, we're delivering you on time. Miranda'll continue to monitor your blood pressure. The second drug should take care of things. Smooth sailing from here, yeah?"

"Thanks, Martha," Jack said. 

"You're welcome, Jack," she said. She kissed his cheek and said, "See you then. I've got a train to catch back to London." 

Rhys put his arm around Jack from behind. "I've got to get back to work. Gwennie and I'll bring a spagbol round for all of us one night, yeah?" 

Jack nodded. "That sounds great, Rhys, thanks." 

"Least we could do. You're doing all the baking," Rhys said with a laugh. After squeezing Jack's shoulder he said, "Don't worry, I won't let Gwen cook anything." 

Jack slipped into his t-shirt, then smiled as he held up the modified button-down shirt. Alicia had sewn a triangle of navy blue fabric into the back. The effect was still masculine. It reminded Jack of the paternity clothing from his time. As he buttoned the shirt, the baby gave a ripple. Jack rubbed his belly and muttered softly, "Shh, no one's going to poke at you anymore." 

When he hopped down off the table, he saw Gwen waiting for him.

"What's on your mind, Gwen?" he asked.

She craned her neck, looking for the others. Once she was positive they were alone, she said, "I'd like to come back, half time." 

Gwen wouldn't ask if she wasn't ready, but Jack wasn't sure he wanted her puttering around the Hub during the pregnancy. It was one thing for Alicia and Ianto to be breathing down his neck twenty-four seven, but Gwen was different. He didn't want to have to do this in front of her. It felt like mocking. 

"I don't know, Gwen," Jack said, slowly. "Are you sure?"

"I just wanted to keep busy while I wait for the baby to arrive," Gwen said, nervously shifting.

Jack gave her a level look and said, "You don't have to be here."

It had been the wrong thing for him to say. Gwen's expression shifted to defiance and Jack swallowed. _Ut-oh..._

"You mean I don't have to be here, looking at you, carrying the baby I couldn't?" she said. She lifted her chin and waved at the stairway. "Rhys said the same thing. And I'll tell you precisely what I told him, Jack Harkness."

She raised herself up, and stared Jack down. It was a feat considering how much taller he was than her. "I. Am. A. Mother. I was a mother from the first moment I dreamed of holding a child in my arms. It doesn't matter how my child comes to me. Through my own body or that of another's. My heart holds the same hope as any other mother's does." Her voice broke as she added, "And I burned and cracked inside with every baby I lost, as any mother would, because I am their mother, even if I never got to meet any of them."

Jack raised his hands defensively. "Hey, I'm sorry, Gwen. I was only thinking of you, here. You've been hurt enough." 

She stepped back and nodded. "I know. Everyone's treating me like I'm near some sort of nervous breakdown, and I'm fine. I’m more than my bloody uterus, and I swear, if one more man treats me like I'm so sort of hysterical woman, I'm going to shoot someone." She looked up at him and smiled. "I'm daring to hope now. You're further than I ever got." 

"It wasn't you," Jack insisted.

"I know that. I think it was a lot of poor rolls of the genetic dice," she said, patting Jack's belly. "But the whys don't matter."

He nodded. "Whenever you want to come back, then. For however long. No schedule, you can come and go as you please."

Gwen nodded and walked up the stairs saying, "I'll talk to Ianto. I'd prefer a set schedule."

"Whatever you want, Gwen," Jack said. He paused and added, "And Gwen?"

She stopped and turned. "Yes?"

"Welcome back." 

Alicia walked down the stairs, smiling at Gwen as she passed. "Ben wanted to talk to you, too." 

Jack nodded and said, "Have him wait for me in my office."

He moved to adjusted his braces, forgetting he hadn't worn them since Alicia had given him the modified trousers. The elastic just above his ballooning belly is what held them up. He wondered if he could manage to get some braces onto them anyway.

When he got to his office, Ben was sitting in the chair in front of his desk. He turned and said, "Hey Jack."

"Ben," Jack said. He sat down and asked, "What can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to come in and apologize for how I've been for the past few months," he said.

"That's all right, Ben," Jack said, dismissively waving. "But you're still on Weevil duty and you're still out of the field."

"I know. And I get I deserve it. I was just wondering how long before I get my field clearance back," Ben asked, sheepishly. 

Jack leaned back and scratched at his expanding belly. "It's only been a month, Ben. If my memory's right, Ianto's got you on Weevil duty for another five months." 

"He didn't specify about my field clearance," Ben said. 

"That's right, he didn't. I’ll talk to him,” Jack said. 

Ben nodded. “Thank you, Jack. And thanks for giving me another chance.” He pointed over his shoulder. “I’ll get back to it.”

Jack picked up one of the reports from the stack and nodded. When he heard the door shut, the sound of Ianto’s shoes echoed from behind him. Jack dropped the pen on his desk and asked, “Ben wanted to know when he could get back out into the field.”

“I expected he’d ask you first.”

Ianto stepped behind him and began kneading his shoulders. 

“Anything on his surveillance?” Jack asked not turning around. 

Ianto shook his head. “Nothing yet. Just normal comings and goings, but it’s only been a month.” He glanced up at the door. “Do you think he suspects?”

“It’d be pretty stupid of him not to,” Jack said. 

Ianto rested his chin on Jack’s head. “True. Do you think we should make a point to tell him we were surveilling him without him knowing and that it’s been lifted?”

“Too obvious,” Jack replied. “We need to let him settle on his own and whatever is going on needs to keep going on so we don't tip him off." 

Ianto fell silent for a few moments and then said, "Is it awful I'm disappointed he's not getting pissed every night?" 

"No, because booze would be an obvious and easy answer," Jack said. He gave a slight sigh, then he also fell silent. After rotating to face Ianto, he said, with a smirk, "I heard you and Alicia in the shower this morning." 

Ianto coughed. "Sorry about that." 

"Why are you apologizing?" Jack said with a smirk. "It would've been great fuel for some solo fun if anything worked." 

"We don't want you to feel left out," Ianto said, shrugging. 

Jack gestured at his non-functional crotch and shrugged. "Nothing works, Ianto. I'm effectively chemically castrated here. You two sounded like you were going at it pretty hot and heavy, and I didn't so much as twitch. Which is why I wanted to talk about what I want to happen after the baby's born."

"Should I get Alicia?" he asked. 

Jack shook his head. "No, I wanted to talk to just you for now, because I don't think Alicia's ready to hear this. She said she wants things to go back to the way they were... but I'd like for us to keep it like this for a while." 

"Jack, I don't know if she's going to agree to that. We all talked about this already," Ianto said. 

Jack nodded. "I know and I get we shouldn't be talking about this without her, but I really think this thing with the two of you is a step in the right direction. I wanted to suggest another approach though." 

He stood and Ianto sat down. Jack slipped into his lap. 

"Go on," Ianto said. 

"We keep trying to fix it, but I believe her when she says it's nothing we are or aren't doing. Maybe by looking at everything through the lens of how to make it the three of us, we're shining a spotlight on something that's not really there. Maybe we should stop trying to fix it and just do what feels right for all three of us." 

Ianto raised an eyebrow. "It's a thought."  

"Which is why I think we should go through with the divorce," Jack added.  

"Even though Alicia is against it," Ianto pointed out. He paused for a minute and added, "I talked to Walter Lanning. He said he could draw up a quick divorce for us. It would be pretty simple since we don't have any joint assets. Our bank accounts are still separate and we don't own property together."

"See you're thinking the same thing," Jack said.

Ianto shrugged. "There's nothing wrong with having the information. I know the three of us can't legally marry. When does that become legal, by the way?"

"Another eighty or a hundred years," Jack replied.

"Well, we can't wait for that, then," Ianto said. "Lanning said that after our divorce, we could use lasting powers of attorney to create the same legal protections that would exist if we were married. It would give us the same decision making ability as a spouse."

"Kind of moot for us," Jack said.

"It more applies to Alicia than us, but for symmetry and equality, we can have it done for all of us in all six directions," Ianto said, shrugging. "The only problem is that Alicia isn't a citizen of the UK." 

"Fish can fix that with a few taps on his keyboard," Jack replied. 

"True. But I doubt Alicia will ever want us to move forward with it," Ianto said, with a one-shouldered shrug. "She'd be cross if she knew I'd checked." 

"We should probably all talk again," Jack said. 

"Talk about what?" Alicia asked, coming up the back stairs. She climbed into Jack's lap and Ianto made a light grunt. 

"Ianto and I getting a divorce," Jack said. 

Alicia immediately stood up. She said, sharply, "I told you both that I don't want that." 

Jack stood and said, "It's also about what Ianto and I want. And we want to get a divorce." 

"Alicia, Jack and I don't feel right being married to each other, if we can't be married to you as well and we can't do that here. It won't be legal for a long time," Ianto replied. 

"No! I don't want to come between the two of you," Alicia said, emphatically. 

"Cariad, you're not coming between us. There is no us," Ianto said, waving between him and Jack. He pointed down and made a circle with his finger. "It's all of us." 

"This was the last thing I wanted," Alicia said, her eyes filling with tears. She turned and walked out of Jack's office. 

"Alicia!" Jack called after her.

Ianto stood and cried, "Wait!"

"Well that went well," Jack said, sighing. 

"You didn't have to bloody blurt it out like that, Jack," Ianto said. 

Jack gestured after her. "Do you really think she wouldn't have dragged it out of us anyway?" 

He went to go after her but Ianto grabbed his arm. 

"Let's let her calm down," Ianto said, also sighing. "We'll talk to her later." 

After Ianto went back out into the main Hub, Jack sighed, scrubbing his face with his hands. He had a slight headache. _So much for smooth sailing..._

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

 

Jack had had a bad feeling the moment Martha had uttered the words 'smooth sailing' and the row with Alicia had only been the beginning. The second medication made him dizzier and light headed every time he stood. After a few stumbles, luckily with someone nearby, he became forbidden from navigating stairs on his own and from using any ladders. With a workplace and home filled with them, it became an inconvenience.  

The sound of Jack retching in the washroom had been replaced with him shouting across the Hub to ask for someone to help him up or down some stairs. He'd only been on the second medication two days when his blood pressure took another jump in the wrong direction.

Martha and Miranda replaced both of his medications with just one. He wasn't as dizzy upon standing, but he became dizzy when he turned, especially if he didn't mind which direction he was looking. In addition to standing up slowly, he had to take care to lift his head and pick a point at eye level to focus on when he rotated. He wasn't sure he'd ever get used to it. He was constantly forgetting, wobbling and stumbling.

The team had begun steadying him whenever they were near, automatically resting a hand on his arm. It had saved Jack from a few tumbles. 

Concerned for Jack's blood pressure, neither Alicia, Ianto, or Jack had brought up the subject of divorce again and they'd all wordlessly agreed to push it aside for the time being. Jack disliked the non-agreement hanging in the air between the three of them. Since the argument last week, every morning after breakfast, he'd sit in his office brooding about it until he got up for this mid-morning grapefruit. He'd had a headache all morning and something about the tangy citrus improved his mood.

He waddled his way towards the kitchen for one. After slicing and arranging it on the plate, he leaned out of the Hub kitchen to check for his partners. Positive no one was looking in his direction, he reached for the salt shaker. 

"Don't you dare, Jack!" Ianto shouted from above. 

"Oh fine..." Jack groaned. He put the salt shaker down and waited until he heard Ianto descend the ladder from the walkway, then reached for the shaker again. 

"Jack! Don't!" Alicia snapped. 

With an angry sigh, he set the salt down and turned away from the kitchen with the plate in hand. He nibbled on the slice as he waddled back to his office, pausing to yank at the elastic of his trousers.

The sound of the invisible lift brought his head up. It was far too late in the morning for it to be one of the team arriving, and there'd be no rift alerts this morning yet. Alarmed, everyone began arming themselves.

"Jack! Get to the flat!" Gwen shouted, waving him towards the north stairs.

His first instinct was to defend his home, but he had another life to think about. "Bunker's safer!"

He waddled as fast as he could towards his office, grabbed his gun and moved towards the ladder. No one had entered the bunker in some time. The hatch squealed loudly when he opened it, but before he could climb down, Ianto shouted, "Clear!"

Confused, Jack stood back up. When he opened the door, he could hear two men arguing. With his gun in hand, he stepped out into the main Hub. 

Ianto had dragged Henry over towards the north stairs and was uncharacteristically shouting at the Duke. Henry was calmly attempting to diffuse the Welshman and failing miserably. Jack's brain registered another person standing and shaking hands with the team. 

He lowered his gun and gasped, "Steven?"

"Nice welcome, Uncle Jack," he said, waving at the guns.

"We're not used to visitors," Jack snapped. He stamped down his panic about how Alice would react if she knew her son was inside the Torchwood Hub. 

Steven hadn't spoken to anyone in over two months. Alice had reported he had begun engaging in all manner of adult activities to avoid having to interact with her or Tom. He'd been doing his own laundry and even cooking his own meals. _And now showing up inside my base._

The sounds of Ianto giving Henry a gigantic bollocking filtered over. Jack heard Ianto snap, "Are you out of your mind?!"

He opened his mouth to introduce Steven as his nephew, but stopped. The realization he didn't have to lie nearly brought tears to his eyes. He cleared his throat. "For everyone who hasn't met him, this is my grandson, Steven Carter, who'll be leaving shortly." 

The fact that Steven grinned when Jack said it also filled him with joy. After finishing his handshakes, Steven looked awkward when the team wandered back to their workstations.

Jack barked out, "Get in my office, Steven. Now."

He led the young man into the room, shutting the door. The waddle aggravated him the most. It was so hard for him to appear intimidating and authoritative whilst waddling. He kicked the chair so it rotated towards Steven.

As he sat behind the desk, he ordered, "Sit!"

Steven dropped into the chair and asked, "How you feeling? How's the baby?"

"Don't," Jack said. His headache spread down his neck.

"You look good. Glowing," Steven teased.

"I said don't. What are you doing here, Steven?" he demanded. "Does your mother know?"

"I'm not that thick, Uncle Jack," he replied, rolling his eyes.

"Why are you here?" he demanded. He tapped his mobile. "The last time I checked, you had one of these. You could've called."

"Yeah, about that... I came to apologize. You knocked the wind out of me with it all."

Jack opened his mouth to answer, but Steven said, "I get it, I grabbed you by the bollocks and made you tell me. It was my fault. I shouldn't have done."

"Language," Jack said.

Steven ignored the comment. "I didn't give you much of a choice but to do it off the cuff. I'm sorry about that too. I'm sorry for swearing at you and Mum-and just now-and I'm sorry for how I reacted."

Jack shook his head. "You're entitled to it, soldier. You're right. We have been lying to you. This all really weird."

"But it wasn't exactly a story you could tell me when I was a little kid either," Steven added, shrugging. He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "I talked to Tom. A lot. He told me what happened with him and Henry, and you and Mum. I'm still figuring out how to handle it, but I'm okay with it, Uncle Jack. I wanted to tell you that and apologize in person." 

"Thank you for this, Steven." He gave his grandson a proud smile. "You're turning into a fine young man. I'm very proud of you and I'm sure your Mum is too."

"Thanks, Uncle Jack," Steven said, smiling. He cleared his throat and sat up straighter in the chair. "I also decided where I want to spend my gap year and wanted to ask you about it in person."

"Oh?" Jack said, interested. "Do tell."

Steven planted his index finger on Jack's desk. "Right here."

Jack furrowed his brow and leaned forward. "Excuse me?"

"I want to help out around here," Steven said, brightly. "Building maintenance. Food and drink. I could be the tea boy. Like an intern. The Torchwood Intern!"

The last thing he needed was for Alice to get wind of this. She'd just started to relax and let Jack back into her life wholeheartedly, and now this? If Steven got involved with Torchwood, Alice would never forgive him. She'd probably go nuclear if she even heard Steven was considering this. 

"There's nothing for you here, Steven," Jack ordered. He was trying to stay calm but it wasn't working. All he could see was Alice slamming her door in his face for good. 

"Oh c'mon!" Steven cried. He waved at Jack's belly. "You're bloody pregnant! I'm sure you could use another set of hands around here!"

"No vacancies!" Jack snapped, angrily. He stood up so he could take a deep breath. 

"C'mon, Uncle Jack! Gimme a chance!" Steven pressed. He also stood. "Gimme a couple months to prove how helpful I can be! A couple weeks? One week! No? Just a day! Just one day!"

"This isn't about capabilities!" Jack shouted. He took another deep breath. "Do you have any idea what kind of fit your Mum will have when she finds out about this?"

Steven swallowed hard and said, "I thought you and maybe Uncle Ianto or Uncle Henry could-"

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! The answer is NO!" Jack shouted. He took a few deep breaths as his entire face began to feel like it was puffing outwards and the headache worsened.    

"I'll never leave the base! It's not like I'm asking for a bloody gun," Steven said, waving at the Webley. 

"This discussion is over! OUT! NOW!" Jack cried. He pointed at the door. 

"But, Uncle Jack-"

"NO, STEVEN!" Jack roared. He ran his hand through his hair then pointed at the door. "This discussion is finished! Over! Done! Forever!"

"Uncle Jack, c'mon-"

"NO, STEVEN!" he roared again. He slammed his fist into the desk for emphasis. Alice would forbid him from seeing or speaking with them ever again. He'd be forced to watch baby Henry grow up from afar, just as he had Steven. All he could see was her door slamming in his face, and never opening again.  

He put his arm protectively and involuntarily around his belly. He couldn't do it. He'd just gotten her back. He couldn't lose her again. He could see Alice screaming at him, crying about how dangerous he was and how she'd known this would happen all along. The dread was overwhelming and he rubbed at his eyes to clear the tears and the flashes of light.

"Uncle Jack, please, give me a chance," Steven begged.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Jack shouted, "IANTO! GET IN HERE! STEVEN IS LEAVING! NOW!"

He picked up his phone. He'd ring Alice and explain. Hopefully, she wouldn’t blame him. 

Just as Ianto opened the door, Jack looked up. "Take Steven home. Now. And you tell Henry I'm throwing him under the bus for this." He added, loudly, "And he's lucky I can't leave the Hub to find an actual bus to throw him under!"

Ianto nodded. "Yes, sir." He held out a hand to Steven. "Come along, Steven."

Jack took a deep breath and began scrolling through his contacts for Alice's number, but the words and numbers weren't making sense. A slight pain crept up his neck into his head. _Great..._

He said, "I'm ringing your mother. So, you put this ludicrous idea out of your head now, young man."

"What?" Steven said, frowning.

Ianto spoke with alarm, "Jack? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," he insisted. All of his contacts were messed up, all the numbers and letters were jumbled and made no sense.

 "Jack!" Ianto snapped. "Look at me! Raise your arms! Now!"

"What?" Jack looked up. "Give me a second, Ianto."

A tingling started on his face and he tried to raise his arm to scratch at it. Instead his left leg buckled and Ianto caught him. His phone toppled to the floor and the touch screen shattered.  

"Ianto?" Jack asked, trying to look up. He didn't feel right. His vision was blurring.

Something's wrong...

He tried to speak, but couldn't.

A blinding pain exploded in his head, and before he could cry out, the world went dark.

* * *

Miranda called everyone together in the boardroom. Martha was still in London, but Fish had set up a video conference. Her face was displayed on the computer screen behind Miranda who was at the head rather than the foot of the table. 

“As you all know, Jack’s suffered a severe stroke,” Miranda said, sadly, "but, as far as we can tell, the baby is fine."

“What do we do?” Alicia asked. 

Miranda said, “Normally, we would simply reset him through death and revival-”

“But that would kill the baby!” Gwen interrupted. “You can’t!” 

“I said normally,” Miranda said, holding up her hand. “Even the methods that will produce the fastest revivals will cause oxygen deprivation to the fetus and permanent harm.” 

Martha said, “Jack is completely paralyzed on the left side of his body and he's lost the ability to communicate.” 

“Won’t the damage just heal?” Gwen asked. 

Miranda shook her head. “Not in this case. Like an immortal of the Game, Jack cannot heal damage if the cause of the damage is still there. A blood clot has formed somewhere in Jack's body and traveled to his brain. It's lodged in a narrow vessel, obstructing blood flow and causing tissue death. Usually small foreign objects like bullets can be pushed out by healing tissue but there’s no where for this clot to go.” 

Martha leaned forward and said, “We're here to discuss options."

"Options? What options?" Alicia asked. "Isn't it simple? Get rid of the clot and get him better."

Miranda could feel Martha’s gaze even though it was digital. “Martha wants to treat, but I wanted to present all options to you first.”

“I don’t understand,” Rhys said. “Isn't waiting making him worse?"

"He's not getting worse," Miranda said. 

"Yet," Martha muttered.

Miranda ignored her and the sentimentality. “The amount of damage that occurs is irrelevant. Jack will heal. Medications to break down the clot carry a risk of fatal bleeding.” 

Rhys asked, “Wait, Miranda, you’re saying not treating Jack is an option?”

Miranda replied, “Jack's immortality gives us more choices and advantages."

"Why does Jack being immortal change things?" Gwen asked.

Alicia and Ianto both frowned, but Miranda ignored the reactions. "The sort of brain damage Jack's sustained would mean lifelong disability for a mortal, but it’s irrelevant for him. We only have to consider Jack’s well-being from the point of view of incubation."

Gwen said, aghast, “Jack is more than just an incubator, Miranda!”

“That was my argument,” Martha said.

Miranda glared at them all. “We should put aside sentimentality. Jack would agree that his well being is irrelevant.” 

"But it isn't!" Alicia snapped.

“While I agree the point, Mandy's right,” Ianto said, sighing. “He won’t care about himself. Only Anwen.” 

Miranda continued, “Jack’s sex is not the only unconventional aspect of this situation. His immortality is an asset. We should use it. We hold off on treating him. His neurological status is unchanged and I don't believe it will worsen. We add a daily blood thinner to prevent future clots, get Jack to thirty seven weeks and deliver.” 

Martha said, “I disagree. We should treat Jack now. We break up the clot. The risk of bleeding is minimal with Jack's healing and if his immortality heals the brain damage, he’ll be mobile again. Jack is only in week twenty four. Thirty eight weeks is full term and that's fourteen weeks away. That’s a long time for him to be flat on his back. Being immobile puts him at a much greater risk for more clots. The best defense is a good offense. I want to get him up and walking.”

Rhys furrowed his brow. “Doesn’t seem like one is much better choice than the other.” 

“What do you think, Ianto? You understand the medical stuff better than any of us,” Gwen asked, turning to her friend. 

Ianto stared down at the boardroom table, thinking. After a few minutes, he lifted his head and said, "I’m sorry, Mandy, but I agree with Martha. I think keeping him immobile is the greater risk.” He turned to Gwen and Rhys and Alicia. “If you all agree, I think we should treat the clot and let Jack heal the brain damage.” 

Once everyone nodded and Miranda said, “I’ll begin Jack’s treatment immediately. We’ll monitor him closely.”

Martha said, “You’ll update me?”

Miranda nodded, standing. "I will."

"Good luck everyone," Martha said.

"Our love to Mickey," Gwen said.

“Do you want me to see if Fish can have the video moved to the autopsy bay?” she asked. 

Martha shook her head. “I have to get back to work. I’m consulting with UNIT on a few projects.”

"I'll update you later on tonight, Martha," Miranda said, waving. Once the screen was dark, she turned to see Ianto waiting for her.

“Sorry about that, Mandy.”

“There is no need to apologise, Ifan. The course of action is yours. You presented the information to the others with remarkable clarity and understanding. Your insight and instincts are excellent. I wish you would more seriously consider medical school.”

“We’ve been through this, Mandy. I don't have time for it all.”

She gave him a serious look. “It is, perhaps, more accurate to say that now is not an appropriate time as many people you love from your mortal life are still alive. But remember, those important to you shall pass from this world and you shall remain. It is important to find meaning and purpose. Medicine is an ever changing and growing field of study, one in which you have both an interest and aptitude. To find both of those is rare and certainly not why I became a doctor.” 

“You’re a good doctor, Mandy,” Ianto said, confused. 

“I am capable and I am competent. But I am not a healer, Ifan. I am a warrior. I take life, I do not save it."

"But you do save lives, Mandy," Ianto insisted. "It's just with a different set of skills."

Regret flickered across her eyes as she turned towards the boardroom exit. "Let’s see to Jack.”

* * *

Once the drug was administered, Jack was back on his feet in a few hours. By the next day, all the damage had healed as if nothing had happened. Martha and Miranda made swooping changes to Jack's medications. They put him on a more powerful blood pressure medication and started him on a blood thinner. Jack was also now required to walk a lap or two around the Hub every single hour. 

He didn't mind the medications and found the interruptions to walk irritating, but what drove him positively mad were the intermittent pneumatic compression devices he was required to wear on his legs every night or whenever he planned to lay down for more than an hour. The sleeves fit over his legs, inflating and deflating in a specific way to ensure proper blood flow and prevent future clots. Jack absolutely hated them. He was already uncomfortable and having enough trouble sleeping. It was impossible for him to get comfortable with the sleeves on his legs and the sound of the machine going off every few minutes made matters worse, disrupting his partners. 

Wrapped in a towel and dragging, Alicia plopped down on their bed and moaned, "Oh my God, I'm so fucking tired..." She gestured at the machinery. "Can we make the cords longer and put that thing out in the living room?" 

Ianto leaned out of the en suite, toothbrush hanging out of his mouth, "There's another solution." 

She removed her towel and handed it to Ianto, who hung it to dry. Nude, she began rummaging for her underclothes. 

"Do tell..." she said. 

After spitting into the sink and rinsing his mouth, he said, "Jack's sleeping out in the lounge from now on." 

Alicia settled her panties on her hips and began digging for a bra. "Seriously, Ianto? Your idea is to eject him from our bed?" 

Jack waddled out of the en suite with a towel around his waist. He automatically stepped behind her to fasten the hooks on her bra for her, saying,"It was my idea. There's no reason for all of us to be miserable."

"You said that about our sex life too," Alicia said, frustrated. She handed Jack a pair of pants. "Is that going to be your response to everything?" 

Jack raised an eyebrow at her as he accepted the pants. "It's not an excuse, Alicia. It's the truth." He gestured back and forth between his crotch and the bed. "This isn't a permanent situation. Once Anwen's born, everything will go back to the way it was."

Ianto stepped out of the en suite and said, "He's right, cariad. This is temporary."

Once Alicia's skirt was zipped, she went into the en suite to dry her hair. "It feels like we're pushing him out, like I'm coming between you two." 

_This again?_  Jack thought with frustration, but before he could open his mouth, Ianto said, "There is a female coming between all three of us, cariad. It's Anwen. Suppose for a minute, you were the one who needed a machine all night that was keeping Jack and I awake. Wouldn't you insist on sleeping out in the lounge?"

Over the roar of the hair dryer, Alicia began to stammer, "Well... I would... I mean... It wouldn't..."

She paused and turned the dryer off. She leaned out and said, "Fine, okay."

"Glad we're all in agreement," Jack said, smiling.

Alicia rolled her eyes at him and went back to fixing her hair. Ianto finished getting dressed and walked over to Jack who was struggling with his shoes. Ianto knelt down and tied them for him and said, "I'm going to get Ben to help me rearrange the lounge. There's a double bed in storage and I'll purchase a new better mattress for you." 

"Thanks, Yan," he said, smiling. 

Ianto stood and kissed him gently, then walked into the en suite and kissed Alicia. As he was leaving the flat, Jack got up and went to the walk-in closet. Occasionally, he enjoyed selecting Alicia's clothes. After setting out a brightly colored floral blouse for her, they went upstairs to begin their days. 

Jack was completely knackered, dragging himself around the Hub. He'd tried to take a nap, but the sleeves made it impossible. After an hour of not sleeping, he'd given up and gone back upstairs. He figured going down to the flat and back up counted as exercise, so when he got back up to his office, he ignored the timer when it went off. 

Since he knew he didn't have to stand up for another hour, he decided to cheat. He folded his arms on his desk, and put his head down. Just for a minute or two... but it turned into a full hour because the next thing he knew, his timer was going off.  

With a sigh, he stood and dragged himself out of his office. He kept reminding himself that it had only been one day. He would probably get used to the uncomfortable and annoying sleeves, as well as the noise. On their way up this morning, Alicia had suggested ear plugs and he would try them tonight.

He hadn't chosen a fixed route through the Hub yet, but decided to kill two birds with one stone. He stopped in the Hub kitchen for a glass of water, and then turned towards the autopsy bay as he drank. After circling the autopsy table a few times and went back up the stairs. He figured he could head into the garage and the his way back to his office, but the invisible lift activated unexpectedly.

"Jack!" Ianto shouted. 

"The bunker, I know!" Jack said, waddling as fast as he could. 

Before he could get to his office, Gwen shouted, "False alarm!" 

Jack stopped and turned, worried he'd see his grandson again. Instead, his daughter was standing on the lift with Henry next to her. Steven had been a surprise, but Alice was enough to give Jack another stroke. He stayed rooted on the spot, watching her shake hands with the team. His mouth hung open as she walked across the Hub towards him. 

"Hi, Dad," she said, brightly. 

He wanted to pinch himself to see if this was real.

"Dad, flies," she said, reaching over to shut his mouth.

He shook his head a little to clear it. "Sorry... what are you doing here, honey?"

"Can we talk?" she asked.

He blinked. "Uhh, yeah, sure..." 

She opened his office door and stepped inside. Jack looked at the others and then followed her, shutting the door behind him. Instead of the chair in front of his desk, she chose the sofa and said, "How are you feeling? Auntie's been giving us regular updates. Steven's been beside himself, thinks he caused that stroke." 

"It's not his fault. My blood pressure's been rising since all this started," Jack said. 

"I know that, and I told him that. He still feels bad," Alice said. 

Jack nodded and tapped the side of his head. "Do you want me to talk to him?"

"Seeing you would go a long way. Scared the piss out of him, you did. He said you were talking all funny, like you were breaking up on a mobile." She reached over and squeezed his hand. "Gave us all a turn."

He squeezed her hand back. "I'm fine, honey."

"No permanent damage?"  

He shook his head. "Nope. I'm just taking some more medication."  

"The baby?"

"Good," Jack said, scratching his belly.

"What week are you in now?" she asked.

"Twenty four," Jack replied. "Third trimester's right around the corner. She's growing like a weed. How's Baby Henry?"

"Fine," she replied, reaching for her phone. She held it out to her father. "Rolling over like a champ." 

Jack laughed. "Oh wow!" He swiped through some of the pictures. "Oh boy does he look like Tom." 

"More and more every day," Alice said. The smile vanished quickly and she sighed, saying, "I take it you know why I'm here."

Jack nodded. "I swear, honey, I didn't know..."

He fell silent when Alice held up her hand.

"I know, Dad. I don't know where on earth he got the idea. No one has ever talked about what you lot do, ever. The first he heard of it was when you talked to him two months ago," Alice said, frustrated.  

"Has Tom talked to him?" Jack asked.

She nodded. "He did, but it's too late. He's not budging." After sighing, Alice continued, "I won't lie. I'm upset about it, and if there's one thing Tom doesn't like to see is me upset. He and Steven have had a few gigantic rows about it. He's determined, he is, keeps going on about how he's eighteen and can make his own decisions. Tom said if that's how he feels about it, he can march his way down here and out of our house." 

"Alice..."

"I wouldn't really kick him out, Dad," Alice said, rolling her eyes at him. "Tom's upset. I think it's touching a nerve with him." 

"How so?" Jack asked. 

"When Tom wanted to be a policeman, Henry wasn't happy," Alice said, sighing. She crossed her legs and tucked her hand between them. "Even though he and Henry weren't speaking, Henry tried, on and off, to talk to him. Coincidentally, one of those times occurred right after Tom got into the police academy. Tom thought he was extending an olive branch, telling his father the good news." 

"But Henry didn't think so," Jack replied. 

Alice shook her head. "According to Tom, Henry 'went postal'. They had a huge row... and didn't speak until Tom was thirty." 

Jack winced. 

"And now the shoe's on the other foot. Here he is, trying to protect his stepson. It's stirring up a lot for him," Alice said. 

Jack put his hand on his daughter's shoulder. "Eighteen or not, he can't work here if I won't let him."

Alice was silent for a few minutes, then said, quietly, "But should we?"  

"What?" Jack cried. "Alice, do you really want him getting mixed up in this?"

Alice sighed and said, "No, of course not, Dad! But what else am I supposed to do? Push him away?" She took a deep breath and said, "He's always going to be my little boy. But he's grown up now, and I've got to decide if I want him doing his gap year halfway round the world, or underground surrounded by half a dozen watching eyes and his own grandfathers." 

An idea struck him. "Nothing dangerous, honey, I promise. I'll put Ianto and Henry in charge of him. He'll be bored to tears inside of a fortnight." 

"You think?" Alice asked. 

Jack nodded. "Cleaning and maintenance?" 

"He'll hate it," she said, smiling.

 


	13. Chapter 13

When Jack had shown up at the house, Steven had been equal parts relieved and joyful. It had been easy to assuage his guilt about causing the stroke. Steven knew he wasn't the cause, but it was harder to believe there’d been no lasting damage. He’d watched Jack's face begin to droop and sag right in front of him. He'd heard the slurred speech and nonsensical words coming out of his mouth. Everyone assured him that Jack and the baby were fine, but it had been good to see it with his own two eyes. Not only had Jack confirmed they were both fine, he'd told him he could start working at Torchwood next week. Steven couldn't believe his Mum and step-father hadn't gone mad. 

Steven assumed there would be some passive aggressive plan to make him leave of his own accord. His suspicion was confirmed when Ianto demanded he be at the Hub at six in the fucking morning the following Monday. Steven had shown up five minutes early. He was groggy and tired, and had had so much coffee he was vibrating, but he was there. Ianto had met him in the Tourist Office and shown him around the Hub. It wasn't as much of a tour as it was Ianto pointing at various places in which he was and was not allowed. Steven paid close attention, not wanting to inadvertently wander into one of those areas and be sent off in his first week. Once that was done, Ianto said his first task would be Weevil Duty.

Steven had no idea what that was. 

Ianto led him past a line of cells to a door at the far end. The stairwell had a strange smell that reminded Steven of his trips to the zoo in Bristol. When Ianto opened the door at the bottom, Steven learned the lengths his family was willing to go through to get him to leave Torchwood on his own.

A large alien creature wearing a jumpsuit in the first cell lunged, scaring the piss out of him. After explaining the creature was a Weevil and named Janet, Steven became even more confused. There was no way 'Weevil Duty' meant taking care of this creature. It looked like it would eat him alive.

It wasn't until Ianto led him to the far cell that Steven learned what Weevil Duty actually was. He'd figured it would be loathsome or boring, but it was so much worse than he could possibly imagine. He was lucky he hadn't had time to eat breakfast before he'd arrived. With a sly grin on his face, Ianto had pointed at the rubber waders, hose, and metal scraper, then gestured at the cells and told Steven to get to it. 

The chore looked so horrid, for a moment, Steven thought Ianto was having one over on him. Steven had to make a decision. With a sigh, he clenched his jaw and put on the waders. He opened the first cell, and began spraying down the thick layer of fetid muck adhered to the walls, ceiling, and floor. Without another word, Ianto'd told him he'd back soon to check his progress. 

When Ianto didn't return after an hour, Steven realized he was not in the middle of some joke, as he'd hoped. He knew if he did a shit job, Ianto would only have him do it again, or worse, dismiss him. Diligently, Steven began to carefully scrape the filth away.  

When Ianto had returned to ask what he wanted for lunch, he'd refused. There was no way he could do this job with any food in his stomach if he wanted to manage to keep it down. The foul oily odor was like sucking on an old coin soaked in week old piss and rancid feces. Steven had felt it permeating his skin and hair. In fact, he would probably be smelling it for days. 

It had taken him nearly all day to clean and sanitize the eight cells. As Ianto had carefully examined each one, Steven prayed they would be to his satisfaction, because he didn't think he could manage to get them any more clean than they were. Thankfully, Ianto had declared the job well done and Steven breathed a sign of relief.

The next day, Steven learned from Henry that Weevil duty normally rotated through the team, and was commonly used as a punishment. The job was so foul, it didn't surprise him. Henry also told him his next assignment would be to help him paint the north sub-basement. Steven hoped that meant the passive aggressive attempts to send him running from the Hub had come to an end.

Henry had already seen to the removal of the old paint layers. Steven had been surprised to learn the Hub hadn't been painted in decades. The place looked pretty good considering. To Steven's amusement, Henry had had trouble selecting a color. It had taken Steven only a few minutes with the handful of paint samples to select one. Most of the colors had been too bland or dark for Steven's liking. It was an underground base and he felt it should have something bright on the walls, something cheerful. He and Henry went to the shops and purchased everything they'd needed. He changed into some old, worn clothes and was just about to head downstairs to help Henry when Miranda tapped his shoulder. 

"Steven?" she said. 

"Hi, Auntie," he replied. 

"I'm afraid I've made a bit of a mess in the medical bay and there's a rift alert I must see to," she said. 

"I'll take care of it, Auntie," he said. 

She patted his shoulder, then hurried off. She said, over her shoulder, "Thank you, dear." 

Steven walked up the north stairs and towards the autopsy bay. The strange blue-green color was alarming, but whatever it was couldn't be dangerous if she'd asked him to clean it up. To his annoyance, it had seeped under the autopsy table which meant he'd have to move it and clean under it. 

He walked up to the cupboard Ianto had shown him yesterday, and pulled out the mop and bucket. The mop's end looked terrible. He searched the supplies cupboard, but couldn't find a new one. Walking quickly, he went back into the north sub-basement and descended down the west staircase to the bottom electrical level where Henry was. 

To Steven's surprise, Henry was wearing a pair of jeans so worn there were a number of straggly rips. The graphic t-shirt he was in was also so worn, it was nearly see through. Green Day? Is he fucking serious? 

Henry looked to be someone Steven could've gone to school with, but he was actually nearly five hundred years old. 

Sixteenth century bloke with AirPods, and a fucking smartphone. Christ, my life has gotten fucking weird. 

"Henry?" he shouted. 

The Duke turned and took out one of the earbuds. "Yes, lad?" 

"Where do you keep the new mop ends?" Steven shouted into the room. “Auntie Mei-Mei dropped a bottle of something or other in the autopsy bay and the one on the handle's knackered.”

"The storage cupboard. The box in the left corner. You may have to open the box, I believe it's new. Mind the amount of cleaning fluid, please. Yesterday, you nearly suffocated us all. More is not necessarily better."

Steven rolled his eyes as he walked away. When he'd cleaned the Weevil cells, he had known the cleaning fluid had needed to be diluted, but not how much. Having mopped a few floors at home, he merely repeated what he'd done previously, dumping the the cleaner into the water until it had changed color. He'd also added an extra pour given the filthy state of the cells. In fact, he'd added nearly three times more cleaner than was required. The potent smell had drifted up into the main Hub necessitating Jack's evacuation. 

The sticky blue-green material took him an hour to remove from the autopsy bay floor. He had no idea what it was, but by the time he'd returned with the new mop, the substance had begun to congeal and adhere itself to the floor. He'd had to use the scraper and he'd had to bin the new mop end when he was done. He hoped Ianto didn't notice the autopsy table was now two inches more to the left because he'd scratched the floor with the scraper. The whole ordeal had him cursing Miranda the entire time.

As he walked back downstairs, he was looking forward to painting whilst standing upright rather cleaning a floor on his hands and knees. Henry still had his earbuds in, and Steven took it as a sign he wanted to be left alone. Ever since baby Henry had been born, Henry had been remote and detached, which wasn't like him. When Steven had first met his step-father's "much younger half-brother", he'd found him fussy, but never distant.

Without saying a word, Steven filled one of the paint cups and picked up a screwdriver. Henry had insisted they go about this properly, and remove the metal rings holding up the conduits as they went. They would replace them after the paint was dry. Steven thought it was a bit much, but there was a certain measure of satisfaction in doing the whole thing properly. Though, it was going to take them a little longer. 

At the sound of the mallet hitting the paint tin lid, Henry turned and asked, “You've finished mopping the autopsy bay already?"

"Blimey, Henry, I've been gone nearly an hour. You could eat off that floor, not that you’d want to,” Steven said, laughing. He jerked his head down the hallway. "You want me to start at the other end?" 

"Please," he said, nodding. 

After turning on the oscillating fan, Steven stepped over to the wall and began to paint, enjoying the silence. Baby Henry had been teething lately and the noise was bloody awful. He loved his brother, but he could do without the chaos that surrounded babies. Here, in Henry's quiet presence, he could at least hear himself think and he'd been doing a lot of that since learning the truth. 

Not talking to anyone had been a prick thing for him to do, but he'd needed to absorb the information without anyone else's influence. He hadn't needed his Mum telling him how Jack was still the same person or how everyone still loved him or whatever such motherly thing she would say. He also hadn't needed Tom telling him he was being a jerk or trying to get him to open up. What he had needed was to be alone with it for a while. 

Shifting his perspective on his family members had been a large adjustment. He'd never known Jack and Henry as anything other than doting and adoring uncles. After a month of turning it in his head, he'd finally opened up to Tom. His step-father had helped him realize how all this was just as difficult for Jack and Henry and everyone else as it was for him. One of the things Steven loved about his step-father was his ability to cultivate empathy in others. Tom had carefully answered every single one of Steven's questions while simultaneously trying to explain an immortal point of view. It had helped Steven to cope and get out of his own head. He’d been trying to imagine what it was like for Jack and Henry to have to lie to him his whole life. When he'd first shown up at the Hub, Jack had had tears in his eyes as he'd introduced him properly. It must've been like a needle every time Jack had had to lie.

He glanced over at Henry who was lightly humming to himself. Though he was focused on painting, his mind was clearly miles away. The look on his face was equal parts longing and sadness. He crossed to his step-grandfather and plucked the earbud from his ear. Henry gave him a startled look. 

“Sorry, you looked miles away. Are you all right?” Steven asked. 

Henry nodded. “Woolgathering.”

He held his hand out for the earbud’s return, but curiosity got the better of Steven and he popped it into his own ear. "Sorry, I've got to know what sort of music a bloke from the sixteenth century listens to."

Steven had expected old music, but not quite as old as what was playing. It sounded like some sort of lute and an old fashioned harpsichord. The melody wasn’t unpleasant and the instruments sounded bright and crisp, but it certainly wasn’t anything Steven would listen to purposefully. 

He asked, "What is this?" 

"Music," Henry said, simply. He took the earbud back. 

"From what century?" Steven asked. 

"Mine," Henry replied. 

"Green Day t-shirt not withstanding, I guess you're not a fan of the modern?" Steven asked. 

"I do enjoy modern music," Henry said. He paused, "But sometimes I long for what has passed." 

Steven blinked and felt bad, as if he’d intruded on something private. He said, "Sorry, I didn't mean-"

"It's all right, lad. It is an unnatural perspective," Henry replied. 

Some questions Steven had been withholding sat on the tip of his tongue. All the immortals had told him they'd answer whatever questions he had, but Steven didn't want to bombard them. He was also afraid of treading on an awkward or painful topic as he feared he had just done.  

As if reading his mind, Henry said, "Do not be afraid of your questions, lad. You may ask whatever you wish."

Steven chose the first question that popped into his head. "Are you really my age?" 

Henry paused the music and put both the AirPods into his pocket. He nodded and said, "Though, this information will not help your adjustment, I believe I am now physically younger. My first death was a barely a month after my seventeenth birthday." 

Steven felt a trickle of cold down his neck. "That means I'd've died months ago. Shit. I can't imagine having my life cut that short. I haven't even gotten out on my own yet." 

Henry gave him a one-shouldered shrug. "I did not have a long mortal life, and yes, I was saddened and even angered to die so young, but such was the way of my time."

"Well, I guess it's different when you had a life expectancy of forty," Steven snorted.

"Allow me to correct the misconception, Steven. While many infants and children died of disease, if one reached adulthood, one was likely to reach what would be considered an advanced age, even in this century. Living to our eighties was not common, but living into one's seventies was not an impossibility. Though, I am speaking about the male population. Women had the added danger of surviving childbirth." Henry crouched down to paint near the floor. "That said, lives did tend to begin earlier than they do now. By the time I was your age, I had already begun assuming many responsibilities. I had lands to manage and duties to perform. I even had a wife, though we lived separately."

"You got married at seventeen?" Steven asked, startled. 

"Actually, we were both fourteen," Henry replied. 

"Bloody barbaric that is," Steven said, shaking his head. 

"We were pawns in a larger game. It was a political marriage, nothing more," Henry said, shrugging. "If it eases your mind, in the time of my birth, it was a widely held belief that sexual activity before full maturity was detrimental to one's health and could even cause death. My marriage was never consummated. My father forbade it." 

Instead of returning to the portion of the room he’d been painting, Steven stayed next to Henry. He began unscrewing one of the metal rings, using the chore to deflect the awkwardness and asked, "So it's true? You really are Henry VIII's son?" 

"I was raised as the king's son, but I am not a child of his flesh," Henry replied. 

"I bet people ask you about him all the time," Steven said, flatly. He had to imagine that got annoying. 

"It is a common subject of inquiry," Henry said, sounding bored. With a slight sigh, he continued, "I have been missing my father a great deal since your brother's birth. Little Henry would have made him quite proud." 

Sadly, Steven realized that everyone Henry had known when he was mortal was now dead, as was every other person who'd been alive in that time. He was curious about people who had been in Henry's life, but he knew asking wouldn't be right. He could tell how much those losses had hurt Henry. 

Instead of asking more questions, he changed the subject back to the original one. "I can't believe my step-grandfather is a couple months younger than I am."

"The difference is only physical. But, I understand it is an unusual situation," Henry said. He turned to Steven and asked, "Is that why you wished to do your gap year with Torchwood? To inundate yourself with the unusual? Torchwood has no shortage of it. I often remark to Joe how strange my life has become since involving myself here."

Steven blurted, "Because being a nearly five hundred year old bloke isn't strange enough."

Before he could open his mouth to apologize, Henry said with a smirk, "A fair point." He straightened his back and said, seriously, "I feel I must extend an apology-

Steven waved off the attempt. "I understand that everyone had to lie to me." He paused and confided, "There are a lot of reasons I wanted to do this. But I feel that to keep up the story, you and Uncle Jack couldn't be yourselves around me. I feel like I don't really know you guys anymore." 

Henry put his hand on Steven's arm. "I'm sorry you feel that way, Steven. While Jack and I did have to mind certain behaviors around you, I assure you, we never hid ourselves."

Steven shrugged. "I still want to spend time around you guys now that I know the truth. I know it shouldn't change how I see you lot, but it has." 

"Have you noticed any inconsistencies?" Henry asked. 

He didn't bother saying no since he knew Henry wouldn't believe him. "Uncle Jack's a little less the fun uncle. He's acting more grown up around me. Actually, both of you are. And you sound like someone out a period film when you talk now." 

Henry smiled and took Steven's mostly empty paint cup from him and went to refill them both. Efficiently, he removed the top off the paint tin and began stirring. He asked, "You needn't have given up your gap year, Steven. Your grandfather and I would still have been here when you returned." 

Steven shifted his weight, uncomfortable. After a light cough into his fist, he said, "You weren't the only reasons I wanted to stay close to home. Baby Henry won't be a baby forever. I didn't tell my mates that, though. They'd all rip the piss out of me for wanting to stay home and help Mum change nappies, warm bottles, and play fucking peek-a-boo." 

Henry let out a frustrate huff. "It is most unfortunate when the fathers of the future sneer at child rearing." He handed the paint cup back to Steven. "Do not let them cause you to feel ashamed, Steven. Paternal instincts are something that should be nurtured, not suppressed." 

Steven grasped the paint cup handle, but Henry still held on. When Steven looked at him, Henry slightly wink and said, "It is also a trait women find highly attractive." 

While rolling his eyes, he dipped the brush into the cup. As he turned back to the wall to resume painting, he said, "Thanks for the heteronormative assumption, Henry. I prefer not to label myself." 

Henry blinked. "My apologies. Your grandfather would be proud you have forgone what he refers to as quaint categories." 

They both resumed painting, in silence. Steven still hadn't admitted the main reason for his desire to remain in Cardiff. Like many young people, Steven had absolutely no idea what he wanted to do with his life. He'd turned it over and over in his head, and discussed it with his friends and his parents, but he was no closer to a solution. Steven paused, his brush halfway to the wall as he realized a unique perspective was standing in the room with him. 

He said, slowly, "The main reason I'm still in Cardiff is that I've no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life." 

Henry turned. "Let me stop you there, lad. What you choose now will not force you into a mold for the remainder of your years. Life is fluid. It changes as do situations and people. We are more than one thing and are defined by more than our professions."

"Henry, no offense, but you've been an artist for like five hundred years," Steven replied with an eye roll. 

Henry held up the paint cup. "Yes, I am a painter, but as you can see by our current labors, painting can encompass many things. The concept that we are all endowed with a singular talent or interest that will lead us to a career for which we alone are uniquely suited is an idea romanticized to the point of fallacy. My focus on oil painting and fine art is the exception, lad, not the rule. In reality, human beings are generally endowed with many skills and talents, the combination of which can draw a person towards or make them more suited to one profession or another. You should search yourself, Steven. Reflect and explore your life. What subjects spark your interest?" 

"That's the problem, Henry, nothing. I'm not really fascinated by maths or chemistry or computers or anything else at school. I did great on my GCSEs and my A-Levels. I'm a clever enough bloke, but nothing's really grabbing me." 

"But there is more to your life than school, Steven," Henry pointed out. "How do you like to spend your time outside of the classroom?"

Steven shrugged. "I like hanging out with my friends and playing video games, but that doesn't scream career choice." 

Henry grinned. "What sorts of video games do you prefer?" 

"MMOs," Steven replied.

When he opened his mouth to explain, Henry said, "I am familiar with the term. Why do you prefer such games?" 

Steven shrugged. "Dunno. I think they're more fun than other games." 

Henry shrugged. "Lad, you have decided to spend your gap year getting to know your grandfathers and to spend time caring for your baby brother. You also enjoy spending time with your friends, of which you have a large number. MMOs may seem like a solitary pursuit, but they are a game where you must interact with others in order to advance, which is highly social. I see significant interests here." 

"How is my family and my baby brother an interest? Or my friends and video games?" Steven asked, rolling his eyes. "Lot of people my age like spending time with their friends and playing video games." 

"People, lad. You've a keen interest in people," Henry said.

He had a good point. Steven loved filling his time with social pursuits. He enjoyed interacting with his friends and making new ones. When he hadn't been speaking to anyone in his family, even though he'd spent a great deal of time thinking, he'd done it in public places while he people watched.

Steven stopped painting and turned. "Never thought about it like that." He blinked. "I can't imagine how that could become a career though."  

"It is a broad topic, but at least you now have a starting point," Henry replied. "It is a vast world out there, lad. Human society is immense. There are jobs and careers in the world you cannot even begin to imagine exist, and that does not include the ones that you can invent for yourself. A keen interest in others and an enjoyment of social pursuits can turn into a career as an event planner, or government, or social work, or counseling, or nursing, or education or any one of a number of different paths through working life. The observation of people is also an integral part of being an artist. Whilst my forte is not portraiture, I often seek to capture the human form, its motion and its stillness." 

"Shit, Henry, are you sure you're not a careers counselor?" Steven said, laughing. 

"I am merely speaking from a great deal of experience, lad," Henry said with a smile. "While I always return to my art, I have pursued a variety of degrees to broaden my own education. A love of learning is a valuable trait. Though, I have found the most important lessons are often those not taught in a classroom."

"Such as?" Steven asked. 

"Such as learning to let go of that which is no longer fulfilling and joyful despite time and money invested in the venture. Or the importance of learning to embrace our failures, and to become comfortable with uncertainty and risk." He returned to his painting. "Or that it is important to maintain perspective and balance. A fulfilling career is important, but it should not suffocate your life. Of paramount importance is that when one sets out in life, the beginning is rarely anywhere near the destination." 

Steven tried to hold back his laughter and failed. Henry sounded like some sort of motivational speaker, but there was profound wisdom in his words and Steven knew he'd be a fool to not at least file it away. 

"That some deep shit, Henry, and quite possibly some of the best advice I've ever gotten," Steven said. He grinned. "Mum and Tom keep telling me to find something with security that I can fall back on."

Henry raised an eyebrow. "If I may, Steven, whilst I'm certain your parents have your best interests at heart, you should view their advice through the lens of parenthood. Most parents wish security and safety for their children, above all. It is a biological instinct. In the past that equated to food and shelter, but today most uncertainty is financial. Their motivations are rooted in the wish that you not struggle in life. But you must remember, the only person who can find your fulfilling career path is you. It is your life, you must choose what you want to get out of it and how you wish to live it." 

"I think their concern's a valid one, Henry. I don't want to eat instant food or have trouble paying my rent," Steven said. 

"It may be difficult to believe, but I have not always had financial security," Henry said. 

Steven stopped painting and turned. "You were the son of a bloody king!"

"Upon my first death, I lost everything," Henry said. "It was a sobering education. I have had to make my own way in the world. I know what it is like to not have a roof over my head and to have my next meal be an uncertainty."

Steven blinked. "I'm sorry. That was a rude assumption."

"But a common one," Henry said, turning back to the wall. "You needn't worry, Steven. Longevity has brought me a great deal of financial security. You will have a safety net, no matter which avenue you choose." 

It would embarrass Tom to know Steven knew about all the money Henry had given him for travel when Tom was dating his Mum. Steven also knew it had taken Tom a while to find employment here, and while he'd been unemployed, Tom had been completely reliant on Henry for money. Even though Henry treated Steven like family, Steven didn't think such generosity would extend to him. Touched, he said, "Thanks for the advice, Henry. I do appreciate it and all the support." 

"Any time, lad," Henry said, smiling. "You know we are always here for you." 

He nodded. "I know and thank you. I'm really grateful for the wisdom." 

"I am grateful you have listened," Henry replied. 

"Well, it helps that you look like you're my age," Steven shrugged. "Now at least I know why you're always asking me for help with your phone. All this technology must be a real trip." 

Henry gave him a one shouldered shrug. "I was not plucked out of the sixteenth century and dropped into the twenty-first. Modern technology did appear gradually. Though more recently, it has been difficult to keep pace with the speed of its development. The plethora of social media platforms is particularly confusing... and in my eyes, quite redundant."

"You love Instagram," Steven teased. 

"I do, though Joe teases for me incessantly as I have always disliked photography."

"And Snapchat," Steven added. 

"The filters are quite amusing," Henry said. 

"Now if I could just get you to make a Facebook account," Steven said, grinning. 

Henry laughed and the two continued chatting and painting. "Perhaps when we're finished for today." 

"Cool!" Steven exclaimed.

Once they were done for the day, Steven convinced Henry to make a profile to at least be able to follow his family members. The best part was he'd convinced Henry to make the account real, with his Tudor portrait and actual birthdate. People would think it was a joke account and not take it seriously, keeping his immortality a secret. Henry had proclaimed Steven a genius. He sat Henry down at one of the workstations and said, "Welcome to Facebook. Go on, mind the clickbait and don't forget the quizzes aren't real and ignore anything with American politics."

Fish walked over and glanced at the profile. He asked, "Did you make him a real Facebook account?"

Steven nodded and explained, "Well it's technically real, but everyone will think it's fake."

Fish laughed and said, "I'll send you a friend request Henry and then update my relationship status as married to you. People who don't know the truth will think it's a joke, but my sister'll piss herself laughing. It's like that profile for God."

"God?" Henry said, frowning. He ruffled at the blasphemy. "God has a Facebook profile?"

"It's satire, Henry," Fish said, rolling his eyes.   

Grinning, Steven sent Henry a friend request, and noticed his phone battery was almost done. He reached into his pocket for the charger then groaned. "I left my bloody charger downstairs. Be back in a minute." 

Steven trudged all the way downstairs. When he got to the freshly painted area, he was surprised to run into Ben who hastily slipped his mobile into his pocket. 

"Oh, sorry," he said. He walked over to the charger and pulled it from the wall socket. "Forgot it. Didn't mean to intrude." 

"You weren't, I was just taking pictures of the color. I like it," Ben said. 

"Oh, Henry said we're starting on the east side once we're done here. I'm sure I could talk him into painting your room too, if you don't mind moving out for a bit," Steven replied. 

Ben shook his head. "Oh, never mind then, I'd have to disconnect my gaming setup."

Steven's eyes lit up. "What do you play?" 

"World of Warcraft is pretty much all I play now. I used to play other games, but I don't have time anymore. Besides, Warcraft can be like full time job," Ben said. 

Steven grinned. "I play too! Hey, you should add me on Battlenet!" He paused. The game was divided into two factions. If Ben played for the other faction, they wouldn't be able to play together. He asked, "Wait, which faction are you?"

"Horde," Ben replied.

Steven laughed and held out his hand for a high five. "Blood and thunder!"

Ben gave him the high five with a laugh of his own. "Lok'tar!"

They both laughed and Ben said, "Hey, want to check out my setup?" 

"Yeah, that'd be great," Steven said. 

As the two chatted back and forth about the game, Steven couldn't help but think coming here for his gap year was the best decision he'd ever made. 

 


	14. Chapter 14

The north sub-basement wasn't a small area. Even though Henry had decided to start with the west side, the chore occupied most of Steven's days. No one had a problem with it since it kept him well away from anything dangerous and under Henry's watchful eye. As both Henry and Steven were only in the Hub part time, the painting took them the better part of a month to complete. The next step was the east side which contained the laundry, the staterooms, and the storage-rooms-turned-flat. They would only be painting the hallways and not the room interiors. While Henry removed the old lead filled paint, Ben, Alicia, Ianto, and Jack all had to find somewhere else to live. The trio moved into Ianto's old flat while Ben moved into a hostel in Butetown.  
Jack hadn't lived outside of the Hub since Alice had been a child. He'd gotten used to not have a commute. He was accustomed to walking barely forty feet and up five stairs to get to the Hub. Thankfully, it didn't take Henry long to get the paint removal sorted so they were only out of the Hub for a few days.  
Jack was pleased to see Steven had been helping Henry with the painting. Ianto had wanted to assign Steven exclusively to the tidying up, hoping to bore the young man out of the Hub, but if Weevil Duty hadn't sent him running, nothing would. What had unsettled both men was Steven's developing friendship with Ben Murphy. Whenever Steven was at the Hub, the two would often eat lunch together and Steven would occasionally linger in the Hub after hours... in Ben's room.  
Today, when Jack saw Henry in the Hub kitchen, eating an apple. He walked down to the staterooms and saw Ben's door was open. Drifting into the hallway was sounds of laughter and the occasional swear word.  
He leaned against the door and asked, "What are you two up to?"  
Ben yanked the headset off his head and stood. "Uh, sorry, Captain Harkness."  
Steven slapped Ben's side. "Oi, what's he gonna do, mate? It's your day off. And I'm on break. You look like he just caught us shagging."  
"Language, Steven," Jack said.  
"Sorry," Steven said. He cleared his throat. "Henry said to take a break. Ben offered to help me with a quest."  
"Quest?" Jack asked.  
Steven waved at the screen. "Ben plays Warcraft too. I'm trying a new class. Usually I play melee, but some of the spell animations are pretty sweet looking so I thought I'd try ranged dps, maybe give healing a try too. Since Ben plays a druid, he offered to help me learn the spell priority and rotation."  
Jack raised an eyebrow.  
"You've no idea what he's just said, have you?" Ben asked, chuckling.  
"Not a clue," Jack replied.  
Steven looked alarmed, and checked his mobile. "Is Henry looking for me? He told me to take an hour. I didn't think I'd been that long."  
"You hadn't, I was just coming down to see how you were doing. Go on, finish your whatever it is you two are doing. If you're over your hour, I'm sure Henry will come looking for you," Jack said. He turned back into the hallway and for the stairs.  
Ben came up behind him and touched his shoulder. "Jack, I'm sorry."  
"For what?" he asked, turning.  
"I probably should've asked if that was okay first," Ben replied, jerking his head back towards his room.  
"I don't have a problem with you hanging out with my grandson and playing video games, Ben," Jack insisted.  
Ben nodded, still looking sheepish. "I mean, I know I'm older than he is and I promise I'm not up to anything funny-"  
"Woah, woah," Jack said, holding up his hand. "Are you hanging out and playing video games with my grandson?" Then changed his inflection to something more suggestive and repeated, "Or are you hanging out and playing video games with my grandson?"  
"Uhh," Ben said, dimly. "That first one. Definitely."  
"Then there's no problem," Jack said, shrugging. "Not that there'd be if it was the second one either. Steven's eighteen and he can make his own decisions."  
"I'm straight, Jack," Ben insisted. He added after a beat, "And I think he is too."  
"I prefer not to label myself, thanks," Steven shouted from inside Ben's room.  
Jack shouted towards the door, "Glad to hear you're not boxing yourself into the quaint categories, soldier." He turned to Ben. "Have fun with your game."  
Ben nodded, then slouched back to his room. Jack held his sigh back until he was in the stairwell.  
Ben's contrition at fostering a friendship with Steven without Jack's knowledge had been genuine. It was further proof Ben was unaware they were watching him. As Jack waddled up the stairs, he processed the new information, stopping at Alicia's desk on the way. "Where's Gwen?"  
She jerked her hand over her shoulder. “She’s down in Ianto’s old office, pumping.”  
Gwen wanted to be able to nurse Anwen when she arrived. Miranda and Martha had been working with Gwen to trick her body into thinking she had a nursing baby. It was a painful and exhausting process and they'd warned Gwen that it might not work, but Gwen Cooper was a tenacious woman. She was using a hospital grade breast pump every few hours, round the clock, and would continue to do so until Anwen was born.  
“How about Ianto?” he asked.  
“It’s his day off. You know that,” Alicia said.  
Jack frowned. “Pregnancy brain, sorry."  
She laughed. "He’s home. If you want to see him, I think he's either sparring with Miranda or in the range. I'm not sure which because he went downstairs with his sword and his gun. But, then again, it could also maybe be both."  
"Thanks," he said, turning away.  
He checked the firing range first, but found it empty. His next stop was the sparring gym. When he opened the door, the sound of metal echoed out into the hallway.  
Miranda was on the sparring mat with Ianto and the two were locked in combat. Ianto was shirtless and barefoot, wearing only a tight fitting pair of bike shorts. Miranda was just as scantily clad in a sports bra and tight shorts. Their well muscled bodies were highlighted by the exertion and the sheen of sweat. With all the estrogen in his body, Jack's libido was in the tubes. But the sight of them was stirring his desire. He wondered if he should take advantage of it because it was the first time his dick had so much as twitched in months.  
Probably won't last... he thought with a sigh. He tried to grab hold of the feeling and prolong it, but he'd been right. It slipped away just as quickly as it had come.  
Or not... he thought.  
The sound of the combat brought him back to reality. Curiously, both immortals were also armed with guns. The blows they delivered to each other were done with the guns in their hands. Jack rarely watched them spar, but had never seen them do it like this. It was interesting and likely was done to increase the difficulty of what they were doing.  
As much confidence as he had in Ianto's abilities, Jack was surprised to see he was winning. Miranda was older and had more experience. Jack winced as he watched Ianto flip his gun, catching it by the barrel. He pistol whipped her to the face and her nose shattered. Blood spurted as the impact forced her head backwards. Millennia of fighting experience kept her from any painful reaction, but there was no way for her to stop the involuntary eye watering that accompanied a broken nose. Ianto capitalized on the momentary impairment to her vision.  
He said, "Sorry, Mandy."  
He deflected her sword arm, then his gun arm whipped around. He reversed the previous action, then pointed it at her forehead and pulled the trigger. The moment Miranda's body hit the ground, so did Ianto. He dropped his sword and the gun, then collapsed, gasping for breath and let out a cry of pain.  
"Fucking hell," he said, trying to catch his breath. He kicked Miranda's lifeless body for emphasis. "You mad bitch!"  
Jack waddled over to the bench and grabbed at bottle of water. He twisted the top off and handed it to him. "Nice job, Yan."  
Ianto drank a few hurried sips and then coughed, spraying some of the water. "Taken me all bloody year." He pointed at Miranda's corpse. "Woman's a fucking machine!"  
Jack grinned and said, "Well..."  
Ianto looked too out of breath to notice the potential double entendre and Jack's reaction. After taking a few more gulps of water, he poorly attempted to imitate her Irish lilt, "Oh, c'mon, Ifan, it's a challenge... both hands full... sword in one... gun in the other... it'll be fun... you'll see..." He gulped the last of the water. "I bloody swear, if she says we're switching hands next, I'm going to shoot her in the head again!"  
Jack held out his hand but Ianto didn't reach for it. "I'm not having someone heavily pregnant help me up."  
Ianto limped his way to the bench and sat down, heavily. He opened another bottle of water and drank down the whole thing. He held his side. "I think she cracked one of my ribs."  
"Well you did get to shoot her in the head," Jack said.  
"That was her idea, too. She's got a fucked up idea of fun," Ianto said, rolling his eyes. He put up the lilt again. "Bullet to the brain wins, Ifan. Loser does the washing up."  
Jack let out a chuckle. "Gods, her and John are perfect for each other."  
Ianto looked at him like he he'd lost his mind. "Well that seems unrelated. Where did that come from?"  
"If John was immortal, that'd be his idea of fun too," Jack said, rolling his eyes. He pointed at Miranda. "How long, do you think?"  
"Ten minutes, at least. Why?" Ianto asked, reaching for another bottle of water.  
"I went downstairs to check on Ben and Steven," Jack said.  
Ianto shrugged and asked, "Playing video games?"  
Jack nodded. "They were playing video games."  
"Well, that's better than having sex, which was the other option," Ianto said.  
"The way Ben reacted, you'd think they were," Jack said.  
Ianto sat thinking for a moment, then said, "So he was surprised."  
"It was genuine. I don't think someone who's been so bad at hiding something's going on would be that good of an actor," Jack said, sighing.  
"We should probably stop testing it at this point." Ianto sighed and scrubbed at his face. "Christ, I was hoping he knew about the surveillance."  
"Yeah, Yan, me too," Jack replied, sadly.  
They sat in silence, waiting. A gasping breath and coughing brought their heads up. Ianto picked up a bottle of water and twisted the top off, then held it out for her. Miranda stood and approached, her hand reaching for the water. "Thank you."  
The smile on her face was full of pride. She put her hand on Ianto's shoulder. "That was excellently done, Ifan. You are, without a doubt, my finest student."  
After letting go, she sat down and said, "Please don't tell the Amunet I said that though."  
Ianto let out a nervous laugh and blushed, the praise embarrassing him. "Thanks, Mandy."  
He put his arm around Miranda and hugged her. Then sighed and turned to Jack. The two shared a wordless conversation and Jack nodded.  
Ianto cleared his throat. "We have a serious situation."  
"I'm listening," she said.  
"You remember I put Ben on Weevil duty and suspended his field clearance?" Ianto asked.  
"I do," she replied.  
"Jack and I started up the probationary surveillance without Ben's knowledge," he said.  
Miranda asked, softly, "What have you discovered?"  
Ianto began rolling the half full bottle of water in his hands to dispel the nervous energy. He said, "Since regaining his field status, Ben's formed a friendship with Steven. On his days off, he's been making regular visits to the house to play video games and to visit his AA sponsor in London. Ben's been informing me of all of that. What he hasn't told me about were his regular trips to 2 Marsham Street."  
She let out a low whistle and said, "Home Office." She leaned forward to catch Jack's eye and said, "John Frobisher."  
Jack nodded. "John Frobisher."  
"I know he was Torchwood's liaison back in the day," Ianto said.  
Miranda nodded. "He was replaced after the fall of One."  
"Which was good because I wasn't liaising with anyone. I severed ties. All of them," Jack said.  
"I don't understand it. What's the motive for placing Ben on the team?" Ianto asked. He sighed. "There's something else going on."  
Miranda said, "This infiltration has been planned for years. Ben was on the first replacement teams a long time." She paused and added with disappointment, "Colonel Ashline recommended Ben specifically."  
"He may not have known," Ianto replied.  
Jack scratched at his belly. "Those are all good questions. I think there are some that should be answered first."  
"Like what do we do now that we know," Ianto said.  
Miranda picked up Ianto's sword and began inspecting the edge. "Well, there is one option."  
"We won't find out anything if we kill him," Ianto said, glaring at his teacher.  
After running the whetstone against the steel, Miranda gave Ianto a slight glare and said, "I didn't say kill him right away."  
"How's about we not torture and kill anyone, Will," Jack said, rolling his eyes. He leaned forward as best he could to glare at her. "You know, I know John's your husband, but you are picking up too many of his personality traits. Keep casually suggesting murder and torture as viable options, and I'll have him drop you off at a murder rehab."  
"We can allow him to continue, see what else we may learn from the situation," Miranda said as she handed Ianto's sword back to him. She turned her attention to her own sword, checking its edge.  
"Thanks," Ianto replied. He ran his finger along the blade's edge. "There's risk there, though. Like you said, Mandy, they've put a lot of effort into planting someone. There must be some larger plan. It might be a bad idea to let it continue, and since we've no idea what it is, we've no idea how to keep Ben away from the information he might need."  
"We could confront him," Jack said.  
Miranda stopped honing her sword and opened her mouth to say something, but Jack said loudly, "Without torturing him, Will."  
"We have no idea what he's doing at Home Office?" Miranda asked. She ran the whetstone over her sword again.  
Ianto shook his head. "He's been leaving his mobile with security. He's not completely thick. All I've got on the recordings is security talking about which pub their going to after work."  
Ianto asked, "Do you think we should tell the others?"  
Miranda shook her head. "Can you imagine Alicia or Fish trying to lie to Ben?"  
Ianto sighed. "No."  
"John might kill him," Jack said.  
Miranda nodded. "They've been spending a great deal of time together, socially. They talk on the phone a lot, too."  
"I know. It's on the surveillance. I had no idea John played golf," Ianto said.  
"He took to the sport recently. He and Ben have been playing once in a while. Mostly they go out to the clubs together. I believe John has been acting as addiction support," she said. After a moment, she raised an eyebrow and asked, "Do you think Steven knows anything?"  
Jack turned, aghast. "I am not getting my grandson involved, Will."  
Miranda said, "He has formed a friendship with Ben, perhaps-"  
"Absolutely not!" Jack said, heaving himself to his feet. He whirled around. "Have you lost your mind, Will?"  
"He's eighteen, Jack. He's an adult," Miranda said.  
Ianto guided Jack back down and said, "While I agree that Steven is in a unique position to obtain information, he's an eighteen year old boy with absolutely no experience or training. And if we question him, it might change Steven's behavior towards Ben, putting him in unimaginable danger."  
"You underestimate the boy, Ifan," Miranda said.  
"Well, what do you want to do that doesn't involve torture or putting Steven in the line of fire?" Ianto said.  
Miranda tilted her head and thought for a few minutes. "We don't have enough information, we need to gather more before we make another decision. We keep this between the three of us for now. We play our cards close to the chest, watch and wait."  
"Perhaps it would be best to elicit other help," Ianto said.  
Jack rolled his eyes. "Who?"  
"Shawn," Ianto said.  
"That's an incredible risk, Ifan," Miranda cautioned. "Were you not also in the room when Phillip Barrie put a bullet through Kiernan's head?"  
"I was, but it's all I can think to do," he said.  
"This hardly seems like a time to be calling in such a big chit," Jack said.  
Ianto stood up. "I'm not calling in the marker. Shawn's already followed Ben for me once. I'll just see if he can do it again."  
"You realize what you're asking?" Miranda said.  
"I do," Ianto said, standing. He held his hand out to help Jack to his feet, then gestured at the blood and brain spattered mat. "You lost, Mandy. Washing up is all yours."  
Miranda nodded and stood. "I'm going to go find a mop."  
Once she was gone, Jack said, "Are you sure about risking Shawn, Ianto?"  
"I'll ask. He can say no," Ianto replied. He began collecting his things, tossing them into his bag. When he picked up his mobile, he frowned. "Speak of the devil."  
Jack leaned. "Text from Shawn?"  
"Yeah... he says it's urgent," Ianto said, reading. He hit the call back button and put the phone to his ear. "Sorry mate, Mandy and I were sparring and... Wait, what?... Woah, Woah, slow down, Shawn... Take a bloody breath and start from the beginning, more slowly please."  
Jack frowned and sat back down on the bench as Ianto listened.  
"All right... Just wait there. I'll be up in a minute... Yup, cheers, mate," Ianto said. He rang off and started jogging towards the gym door. "Shawn's up on the paving stone. I need to talk to him. Sorry, Jack, I'll explain later!"  
All he saw was Ianto's hand waving at him as the gym door swung shut. With a sigh, Jack tried to stand and Anwen rolled onto his sciatic nerve. A sharp pain shot down his right leg, and then the whole thing went completely numb. As the leg buckled, he collapsed back onto the bench, nearly falling off it.  
"Well I'll just sit here then..."

* * *

Ianto went up the north stairs and activated the invisible lift. He intended on taking it up, but as the lift descended, Shawn Graham came into view. Ianto turned to Alicia and shouted, "Turn off the intruder alarm, please Alicia?"  
"Aye, aye, sir," she replied.  
When the lift stopped, Ianto said, "I was coming up to you."  
Shawn said, looking around, "Sorry I thought this'd be faster."  
"Well, budge over, we'll go back up," Ianto said.  
As Ianto stepped forward, he walked right into Shawn's outstretched hand. Shawn wiped the hand on his jeans, and wrinkled his nose. "No offense or nothing, man, but I'd prefer we talk somewhere where your funky ass isn't inside my personal space. Preferably somewhere well ventilated."  
"Sorry, Mandy-"  
"And you were sparring, you said," Shawn said. He looked around, waving greetings at the team and added, "Sorry about infiltrating your super secret underground lair."  
"It's all right, mate," Ianto said. He looked around, trying to decide what part of the Hub would be best for their talk and saw Jack waddling up the north stairs. Shawn saw him and waved.  
"Hey, Jack! Ain't seen you in forever. How you... doin'....?" Shawn's friendly disposition began to rapidly deteriorate. With the prominent belly bulge and the distinctive waddle, there was no way to mistake Jack's condition as weight gain. The look on his face would've been absolutely hysterical under other circumstances. His mouth was slightly open and his eyes were open unevenly, a mixture of confusion, astonishment, and plain shock.  
"Hi Shawn," Jack said, brightly. He was clearly enjoying Shawn's gobsmacked state.  
Shawn blinked a few times then turned to Ianto with his hand raised in Jack's direction. "Can we please go somewhere and talk?"  
Ianto nodded and said, "How about we go down to the flat?"  
"Sure," Shawn said, clearly wanting to get as far away from Jack as possible.  
"Good to see you, Shawn," Jack said, grinning.  
The stunned look on Shawn's face returned and he said, "I don't know where this flat you're talking about is Ianto, so lead the way." He made circles at Jack with his pointed finger. "Preferably away from whatever the fuck is going on with your man. No offense or nothing Jack, but I got my sphere of weird and if that's what I think it is, then it's way the fuck outside it and I've had about as much as I can take today."  
Shawn was more stressed and anxious than Ianto had ever seen him. His snark and cheek was nothing more than Shawn attempting to cope, but Jack took it in stride. He turned to follow Ianto and Jack threw his head back and laughed.  
Looking way too chuffed, he declared, "I'm just pregnant, Shawn."  
Shawn stopped mid-step, and half stumbled. He turned said, "Oh, hell no. See... that... that's just... That right there? That is the weird fucking cherry right on top of the weird fucking sundae that has been my work week... Thank you for that, Jack. How about I get you some pickles and ice cream topped with a big old dollop of kiss my ass." He turned back to Ianto and said, "Get me the fuck outta here, Ianto."  
Ianto rolled his eyes at Jack, and held his arm out to Shawn. "This way."  
Shawn went down the north stairs and Ianto turned to Jack to say, "Stay here please."  
He went down the stairs and turned right. After opening the flat door, he waved at the bare walls. "Sorry, we're redecorating."  
"Yeah, don't give a shit," Shawn said.  
He stepped into the flat and Ianto shut the door behind them.  
"Is this room secure?" Shawn asked.  
Ianto held up his mobile and tapped it. "Completely."  
"When I'm done here, I'm going to need to shoot the shit with you for a bit, for a fake recording," Shawn said. He got a faintly disturbed look on his face and said, "Preferably not discussing Jack's pregnancy."  
"I understand," Ianto replied. "Have a seat. Would you like a beer?"  
Shawn shook his head, then looked around. "Nah, I'm good. About as good as I can get with everything going on."  
He reached into his pocket and took out a mobile phone. "Some shit's been going down. Administration borrowed Yuri for a while for a special assignment. He stole these pictures. And I know you can appreciate the level of the risk he took doing that."  
After unlocking it, he passed it to Ianto. It was a picture of a man of Asian descent, possibly in his early to mid-forties. Ianto swiped through several other pictures of the same man, clearly taken from a distance. He didn't recognize him.  
"Who is he?" he asked.  
Despite his earlier refusal, he sat down in one of the arm chairs. "Guy's name's Rupesh Patanjali. He's a doctor at University Hospital. We don't know why, but he's poking around the Watchers."  
"Poking around?" Ianto asked. Even though he knew Alicia would have his bollocks, he sat down on the coffee table.  
"Yuri first noticed Patanjali following him last year. Back then, we didn't have a clear picture of why," Shawn said. He leaned and noticed the line of shoes by the door. He began unlacing his trainers. "Yuri reported the incidents and when Patanjali started following me and Ashley, we reported it too. We assumed security was handling it."  
"And by 'handling it', do you mean putting Patanjali into a small, unmarked grave?" Ianto asked.  
"Hey, I had a court side seat for Kiernan's execution too, but we don't shoot first. We're a secret society, and Phillip Barrie not withstanding, we're not a bunch of fucking lunatics. By handling it, I mean determining if Patanjali was a seeker or not."  
"Seeker? And please don't say he's catching a snitch," Ianto said, rolling his eyes.  
"A potential Watcher. Sometimes that's how we start. We witness a beheading. We see an immortal come back to life. But sometimes we notice someone constantly following someone else," Shawn said. He tapped the phone. "But Patanjali kept following us. He was trying real hard to be more inconspicuous too but he sucks at it. He's a fucking doctor not James Bond. Something else is up because if he turned down the sales pitch, recruitment's good at dissuading the curious. If he kept up after a couple warnings, then security would drop him, but he's still there, following us."  
"How is Patanjali connected to us?" Ianto asked.  
Shawn took the phone back from Ianto and swiped through a few of the pictures. "I got a buddy in the security department. We're both from Philly. Off-hand, I mentioned Patanjali's still following us and how I was concerned. He told me they're treating him as security threat. He's a doctor which is a high threat profession. Road to hell and all that."  
Ianto nodded. It wouldn't be the first time a doctor tried to better humanity at the cost of an immortal or two.  
"That special assignment Yuri got pulled for was to follow Patanjali because Mao-Lin was going to London on the same day as him. He saw Patanjali walk into Home Office."  
Ianto sighed. "He couldn't get any more details?"  
"Yuri always has a hard time when Mao-Lin heads to London for government shit because an ex-FSB operative snooping around the British government offices makes people twitchy." Shawn shook his head. "Two days ago, the real bomb dropped."  
Shawn passed him the phone and said, "I got called in and given these. I'm sorry about waiting, but I was authorized to tell you after forty-eight hours, not a minute earlier."  
"Cachu, it's Ben with Patanjali!" Ianto cried. "When was this taken?"  
"A month ago," Shawn replied.  
"A month?" Ianto blurted  
Shawn held up his hand. "I'm sorry, man. I get it, I'm pissed too. Especially since the shit has been hitting the fan ever since they brought me in on what's been going on. I wish I'd been read in sooner."  
Ianto stood up and walked to the kitchen. He took out two beers. After opening them, he handed one to Shawn. "Just drink it."  
"Thanks, man," Shawn said. He clinked the bottle to Ianto's. "It's noon somewhere..."  
The wheels in Ianto's head started to turn, but all this made even less sense now.  
"Ianto, I don't know what's going on, man, but this is bad," Shawn said. He pointed at the picture. "If Ben's flapping his mouth, you need to fucking gag him, before we put a bullet in him, and roll his body right into a hole with Patanjali's. Let's put aside the fact that what Ben's doing could jeopardize our whole gentleman's agreement about Torchwood's marker and the stasis units and Darby. Patanjali's been meeting with some stiff at Home Office and the Tribunal is shitting fucking kittens that the British government might know something about immortals, the Game, and the Watchers. And they're all pointing fingers at Torchwood."  
Ianto tried to think of what to do next. There wasn't any more useful information than there was twenty minutes ago, just more questions. He said, "You lot are following Patanjali, right?"  
Shawn nodded. "He's got the full remodel. He's got three people following him. Bugs in his flat, phone, and car. GPS tracker in the car too. We cloned his phone. Monitoring software on his laptop. The security department could tell you what kind of porn he jerked it to last week."  
"Could you follow Ben as well?" Ianto asked.  
"Now don't lose it on me, man, I had nothing to do with it, but we already are. He's got the same. We just couldn't clone his phone or place certain bugs," Shawn said.  
Ianto gave his friend a one shouldered shrug. He expected the answer. "The alien software on his phone will prevent it. You're lucky, it's also meant to destroy whatever tech tries."  
Shawn cleared his throat. "Yeah, I heard it caused a small fire." He dug into his pocket and revealed a small bugging device. "I'm supposed to plant this. Which is why I rode the lift down instead of just waiting for you to come up. I didn't want to say nothin' in front of the others."  
Ianto took the bug from Shawn. "I'll plant this for you. Any special place you'd like it?"  
"It's audio only, so anywhere," Shawn replied. "Hey, we can forego that if you want to give us access to your surveillance. It'd go a long way to showing that Ben's acting alone."  
"I wish I could, mate, especially since it'd be a show of good faith, but I can't. I can't just give you access to one camera, I'd have to give you access to them all and that I can't have," Ianto said.  
Shawn nodded. "I understand." He shifted, awkwardly, in the arm chair. "I probably shouldn't tell you, but we hacked your GPS signal for Ben's sub-cutaneous tracker."  
"That's fine, that's not attached to any of our systems and we don't really secure it well. I'll talk to Fish, see what else I may be able to give you as a gesture of good will," Ianto said. He shrugged. "I doubt you'll be able to break into our systems."  
"Yeah, we tried," Shawn said.  
Ianto raised an eyebrow. "We didn't detect the attempt. Your people must be good."  
"They are, man. Best in the world, but we still failed. Hashtag big time fucking fail. Might give Joe something of an ego boost to know the IT department's been talking about trying to poach Fischer from you, conflicts of interest surrounding Duke Richmond aside."  
Ianto let out a short laugh, then asked, "Will you be able to share with us what you get from your surveillance?"  
Shawn shrugged. "Off-book? I may be able to sneak some stuff to you, but it's risky, like dirt nap risky."  
"What about if I make a request?" Ianto asked.  
"That'd go over like a fart in church," Shawn said. "I've only been authorized to tell you that Ben's a leak you gotta plug. I wasn't supposed to tell you Patanjali's name, just that he's a Home Office stooge."  
"I appreciate the risk you took doing that," Ianto said, sighing. "Can you leave that picture with me?"  
Shawn tilted his head back and drained the last of his beer, then shook his head. "I'm not supposed to, but I can easily explain you having it by saying you could've taken the image off your own internal security."  
"You want another?" Ianto asked.  
"Fuck yes. In fact, I'd rather have a shot of something. But I can't do either. I'm supposed to go back upstairs when I'm done down here and I ain't supposed to be drinking on the job," he said, sighing. He stood up and stretched. "Where's your recycling?"  
"Bin under the sink," Ianto said, holding out his hand.  
"I got it, man," Shawn said. He rinsed the bottle and then dumped it into the bin. He waved around the flat. "You know, usually one of the first things we're required to do is go through an immortal's living space. I've been your Watcher for nearly four years now and this is the first time I've been down here. I had to fill out a huge fucking report about why I couldn't gain access to this place to get a waiver for it."  
"You need to go through my flat? Why?" Ianto asked.  
Shawn waved around him. "You can learn a lot about someone by the way they live, and by and large that don't change, even over centuries." He walked over to the door to collect his shoes. As he put them on, he waved around the flat. "Shoes off when you come in, neatly arranged. Your books are alphabetical by author, then title. Your remotes are lined up, equidistant from the edge and parallel. I bet if I went in there, that bed'd be made too."  
"It is. You want to look around?" Ianto asked.  
Shawn laughed. "Nah, man, it's all right. It'd be awkward as fuck having to do the standard look through with you here. I don't want to stumble on whatever freaky-deaky you got going on in there with you out here." He waved at the bedroom door. "Plus, I don't got my kit. I gotta swab for DNA, take samples and shit."  
"Samples?" Ianto asked.  
Shawn nodded. "It's a new directive, no fucking clue why. They probably want to be able to ID you guys if we pick you back up after you've slipped off our radar for a while with DNA. We've got a whole biologics department now." He stood and said, "And speaking of biology, care to tell me if I got something to worry about? I think my sex ed classes are a little out of date considering the state of your man."  
Ianto glared at him with mock annoyance. "Ah, comfortable enough with the pregnant man to take the piss, now, are we?"  
Shawn shrugged and grinned. "Look, I don't pretend to know anything about what Jack's deal is, all right? You said he was from the future so I'm guessing him being all up in the family way has something to do with that. But all you immortals shoot blanks, so is there something you wanna tell me about Alicia?"  
Ianto rolled his eyes and decided not to call his friend out on the transphobia. "Jack's being a surrogate for Gwen and Rhys."  
Shawn's eyebrows shot up. "Wow. I mean... wow. That's... that's something. How far along is he?" He paused and said, "And I cannot believe I just said that."  
"Seven and a half months," Ianto said. "He's due in mid-April."  
"Mazel tov," Shawn said. He gave Ianto a level look. "You all right with it? Wait, was that what you were freaked out about that night you went for a walk in the pouring fucking rain last year?"  
Ianto nodded. "Yeah, it was."  
"Damn. Now that I know, I think your reaction was pretty sedate. Well, hope the birth goes well. Shit. That was not a good mental image." Shawn grimaced. Then, he cleared his throat and said, with full seriousness, "By the way, man, there's something else. I need a big fucking favor."  
"Oh? Anything, mate," Ianto said.  
Shawn smiled and said, "I got this pressing need for a best man at my wedding."  
Ianto grabbed his friend and hugged him. "She said yes!"  
"Yeah, I finally worked up the stones to ask, and I don't know why, but she said yes!" Shawn said, thumping Ianto on the back.  
"That's bloody fantastic, mate!" Ianto said, grinning.  
"We can go out sometime soon and I'll tell you all about it. So will you be my best man?" Shawn asked.  
"Of course!" Ianto said.  
"Just wanted to lighten the mood before I crashed it again," Shawn said, producing the voice recorder. "You ready for some acting?"  
"Yeah. You know, I always wanted to have a go at television, maybe form a band," Ianto replied.  
"Yeah, me too, wanted to do some rap, maybe a little TV, or a movie," Shawn said. He laughed. "Can you imagine these dumbo ears on the big screen?"


	15. Chapter 15

 

 

Everyone was relaxing on the sofas in Miranda and John's lounge. John was dragging in more chairs and Miranda was setting out drinks and snacks. "Don't you dare touch those crisps or the pretzels, Jack." She glared at the rest of them. "And none of you shall allow him to do so either." 

He waved at her dismissively. "Yeah, yeah..." 

Jack sat back and scratched at his belly. Miranda's Watcher, Yuri Serov, was sitting across from him. He leaned forward and selected a handful of pretzels, then extended his hand to Jack. "Yuri Serov."

"Captain Jack Harkness."

He stared at Jack, then pointed at his belly. "Are you all right, Captain Harkness?"

"Fine. Just pregnant," he said, simply.  

Seated next to Yuri, Shawn snapped, "Hey, hey, Jack! You leave Yuri alone with that bizarroland bullshit you got going on over there!"

"You enjoy torturing people with that information way too much, Jack," Fish said, rolling his eyes. He reached for a handful of crisps and dropped them onto a paper plate. He called out, "Evie? Tell me you made that onion dip of yours." 

As if on cue, Miranda put a small bowl of creamy dip in front of him. "There you go, Fish." 

Shawn smiled and dunked a few crisps into the dip. He muttered around his food, "Now that's what I'm talking about. What brand is this, Mao-Lin? Best fucking onion dip I've ever had."

"Evie makes it from scratch," Fish said.

"Recipe, please, Mao-Lin," Ashley said, licking the dip from her fingers and Miranda nodded. Ashley returned to the original topic and said, brightly from her spot next to Shawn, "You mean when we decide to have kids I don't have to carry them? That sounds like a great idea, eh. Congrats, by the way." 

"Thanks for putting that idea in my fiancée's head, Jack," Shawn said, rolling his eyes. He turned to her and held out the dish of crisps and dip. 

Yuri patted Shawn's arm, then turned his attention back to Jack and asked, "Is because you are from the future, da?" 

Jack nodded. "Yes." 

After wiping his hand on a napkin, Yuri held it out to Jack and said, "Pozdravlyáyu."

Henry said, "It means-"

"I caught the meaning," Jack said, shaking Yuri's hand. "Thank you."

Gwen sipped her beer and said, "Jack's being a surrogate for me and my husband."

Yuri turned and held his hand out to Gwen. He repeated, "Pozdravlyáyu." 

"Thank you," she said, brightly. 

Yuri nodded, then sat back, returning to his pretzels, quietly chatting with Henry in Russian.

Ashley smiled at Jack and said, "That’s a wonderful thing you’re doing, Jack." 

"Thanks," Jack said, smiling back. "You're Henry's Watcher, right?" 

She nodded. "Yup." She leaned forward, extending her hand. "Ashley Greenfield." 

“Soon to be Graham,” Shawn said. 

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah we’ll have to talk about that.”

"Jack Harkness," he said. 

Ianto sat down next to him and said, "How are you feeling?"

Jack shrugged, "Fine."

"You want me to have Mandy get you something so you can put your feet up?" he asked. 

"Yeah, that'd be great, Yan, thanks," he said. 

Ianto returned with a folding chair he put next to Henry. Jack swiveled and shifted his feet up onto it. He kissed Jack's head and then went to take a seat at the breakfast bar. He rotated and cleared his throat. "Thanks everyone for coming. Introductions done all around, I hope? Lovely. I'd also like to thank Mandy and John for their hospitality." 

After waving in acknowledgement, Miranda and John sat down next to Jack. John took a pull off the beer bottle, then reached for some crisps. 

"What's going on, lad?" Henry asked. 

"Yeah, the Hub's like a ghost town," Alicia said, from her chair next to Jack. "If there's an alert-"

"We scheduled this so there was a minimal amount of rift activity," Ianto said. 

"Where's Ben?" Alicia asked. 

"It's his day off and he's in London," Ianto replied. 

"It's my bloody day off too," Gwen said, rolling her eyes. 

"Ben's the reason we're here," Jack said. 

Ianto held up his hands. "Before you all start barraging me with questions, I promise I'm getting to it, but for now, I need everyone to just listen so we're all on the same page." Ianto reached behind him for a folder. He dropped a few pictures next to the bowl of crisps. He turned to Shawn and Yuri. "Bit of background for our Watcher friends. UNIT will routinely back up Torchwood with personnel at request or on special occasions. The teams have changed a little, but there were three people who were routinely sent every time-Corporal Caitlyn Gordon, Lance Corporal Neal Patel, and Private Benjamin Murphy. Two years ago, in order to improve the work/life balance of the team, Jack and I extended offers of employment to Gordon and Murphy as they showed particular aptitude for the work and regularly expressed dissatisfaction with their careers at UNIT." 

Jack said, "Gordon turned down the offer." 

Ianto added, "But Ben jumped at the chance. When we hire new operatives, they're surveilled for a period of time. We waived this surveillance when we hired Ben since he was already a part of UNIT.” 

Shawn stood with one hand in the air, pointed towards Ianto. He broke into operatic song, loudly projecting, “Mistaaaaaaaaaake!” 

He sat down grinning and Ashley smacked his shoulder. "Stopping a dick." 

Ianto gave his friend a look of barely held patience. “Yes thank you, Luciano Wankerotti.”

The whole room chuckled slightly and then Jack cleared his throat. He brought them back to their subject, saying, "As most of our team will remember, when Ben first came on, he was belligerent, insubordinate, and just difficult overall."

Ianto added, "That’s usually acceptable at Torchwood to a point. What isn’t acceptable is a disregard for protocol and recklessness. We like to keep our operatives alive, not populate our morgue. When Ben confessed to romantic feelings for Alicia that were unreturned, we thought we'd gotten to the root of the problem. This was before Jack and I had started our relationship with Alicia, but it was in the first stages." 

Alicia shifted uncomfortably next to Jack. 

"You think he's doing this because of jealousy?" Shawn asked. 

Ianto said, "No, we don't. I'm getting there. Anyway, his behavior improved, but shortly after the whole thing with Darby, it took another downward spiral. The reckless behavior returned and he began bunking off with very little notice. Concerned, I had Shawn follow him on one of his days off."

"Why not just activate his tracker?" Fish asked.

"I wanted to do it unofficially first. Activting his tracker for disciplinary reasons has to go into his personnel file," Ianto said. 

"I didn't see anything out of the ordinary, but Ben did attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Cheers, y'all," Shawn replied. He reached for his own beer and raised it up, then drank. Ashley slapped his arm.

Ianto said, "I attributed Ben's bad behavior to a potential relapse of his addiction and was more lenient with him because of it. Thinking I knew the solution, I didn't look into it further." He also waved in Jack's direction. "I've had a lot on my mind as well-"

"Not your fault, Ianto," Jack insisted. 

"I wasn’t putting blame anywhere," Ianto said with a shrug. "Anyway, a couple months ago, Ben and I were on night duty and he slipped out to see to a rift alert on his own." 

Fish and Gwen both snorted and rolled their eyes. Gwen muttered, "What a bang of wank."

Fish said, "He really is a fucking bell end, isn't he?" 

"You don't like him?" Ashley asked. 

Gwen and Fish shared a look, then Gwen shrugged said, "It's not a matter of like or dislike. He's not a bad bloke, really. Just a bit of a knob end sometimes." She waved in Hart's direction. "Vera's done and said worse."

Hart winked at her. "Right back at you, Gorgeous."

“But you’re not a knob end. You’ve got some bloody sense. Seeing to an alert alone is bloody daft,” Gwen said. 

Fish added, "I noticed he was behaving like a twat, but I figured Jack and Ianto were handling it. They're in charge, not me. All I care about was whether or not he was getting his work done, which he is.”

Gwen said, "We did notice you were going easy on him. It's not like you and Jack to play favorites, so we figured there was a good reason.”

“Him struggling with the drink is a good reason,” Fish said and Gwen nodded.  

Ashley put up her hand. "Wait a minute, I don't get why him taking care of a rift alert by himself is such a big deal." 

Miranda turned to the Watchers on the opposite sofa. "The normal Torchwood mortality rate is one point five operatives, on average, per year. The immortal presence on the team significantly drops that number, so the mortal team members have standing orders that all rift alerts are to be handled with an immortal present, no exceptions." 

"Holy shit!" Ashley exclaimed. Her eyes went wide and and cried, “You lose one or two agents a year? That’s fucking insane!” 

Ianto waved at her. “If you include the Duke, there are four immortals on the team now. That number is unprecedented. We’ve only lost one operative in the past six years, and that was an extraordinary circumstance. It's why we have the standing orders. Anyway, I gave Ben a dressing down, put him on punishment duty for six months and stripped his field clearance. Ben didn't care about any of that, but when I told him he was going on full probationary surveillance, he lost it. Instead of the usual belligerence, he acted like I'd signed to have him hanged, drawn, and quartered. The reaction wasn't characteristic for him or the situation, so I retracted under the guise of sympathy towards his addiction."

"And then we put up the surveillance anyway," Jack said. 

"You found something," Gwen said, surprised. 

Ianto nodded, with disappointment, and gestured at the pictures. "For those of you who don't know, Ben's started up a friendship with Jack's grandson, Steven. The two of them play World of Warcraft together. For those of us who don't know what the fuck that is, it's an online video game. Ben goes round to Steven's on his days off to play. When he leaves Steven's, Ben goes to his AA meeting, then makes a trip to London. He had told me he was making those trips to visit his old sponsor." 

"But he's actually paying a visit to Home Office," Jack said. 

Alicia looked sad and disappointed, while Fish let out a low whistle.

Gwen snorted again and shook her head, muttering, "Tosser." 

"There are a number of reasons he would visit a government office, lad," Henry said.

"There are, but he doesn't have one," Jack said.

"Who's he meeting with, then? And why?" Gwen asked. 

Ianto reached behind him and handed a photograph to Hart. "Meet John Frobisher. He's the Permanent Secretary to Home office and prior to the fall of One, he was Torchwood's government liaison."

"One?" Yuri asked.

Ianto said, gently, "We're technically called Torchwood Three, a satellite branch of the Torchwood Institute formed by Queen Victoria. Torchwood Two is in Scotland, nothing more than a glorified library. Torchwood One was based in London. In 2007, One was engaged in dangerous research which led to an alien incursion. Myself and a small group of others survived, and nearly eight hundred people died." 

"Jesus," Ashley muttered. "Was Frobisher's job collateral?"

Jack shook his head. "No, I warned One their research was dangerous, and before the invasion, I cut all ties to them. I wanted no part of the fallout. So once One was gone, there was no one left to liaise with."

"We will send small reports to the government and UNIT. Since we were formed by the Crown, we're also required to make regular reports to the Sovereign. Three has never liaised with the government in the same manner that One did," Miranda said.

"This is making sense now," Yuri said.

"How so?" Ianto asked.

Yuri waved at Jack. "Watchers have had an eye on Captain Harkness since the twenties. You are not classified with game pieces, but as of unknown status. Unlike game pieces, you are not careful with what you are." He waved at the picture. "This man Frobisher is used to knowing what goes on inside Torchwood, but as you say, he has not known for a long time now. Perhaps he brings in Mr. Murphy to tell him about pieces he cannot see, perhaps to create a situation where he can regain control over the flow of information. He tells the government you are hiding something big, maybe secret to better health, longer lives and has proof because person you care about is now immortal too. This Frobisher has Murphy poke around Watchers, poke around Torchwood to find out more. And Patanjali is back-up in case Murphy fails."

"Who's Patanjali?" Gwen asked.

"I was getting to him," Ianto said, producing another picture. "Meet Rupesh Patanjali, he's a doctor at University Hospital. Both Ben and Patanjali have been meeting with John Frobisher at Home Office." 

Alicia picked up the photograph. "Hey, that's the guy who treated Ben after Darby slammed his head against a wall." 

"He did?" Jack asked. 

Alicia nodded. "Yeah, I remember because he was hitting on me." 

Ianto and Jack both bristled. 

"You don't have access to your people's surveillance on Patanjali, do you?" Jack asked. 

Yuri shook his head. "No, Captain, we do not. We are Watchers, but we watch game pieces, not security threats. We can attempt to steal it, but that would be very dangerous and none of us can help you if we are dead," Yuri replied.

"What do we know about Patanjali?" Gwen asked. 

Miranda answered, "I began looking into him. He's had an unremarkable medical career. After his residency, he began working in A&E. A simple doctor doing his job." 

Ianto handed a folder to Ashley who opened it and began to read. When she was done, the folder made its way around the room. 

Miranda said, "I followed him around as well. I haven't been able to find a motive for him in all this. He's a pretty boring and unremarkable bloke." She turned to Yuri and asked, "Have you noticed anything?" 

Yuri shook his head. "Nothing you have not said. There must be something. Unremarkable man like Patanjali do not begin playing in sand with snakes for no reason. Is possible this Frobisher thinks whatever has made Mr. Jones immortal can have medical applications. He would not be the first to think this. If my guess is correct, these men endanger everything."

Ashley added, "The Watchers have existed as a cohesive, worldwide organization for thousands of years. That feat wasn't accomplished by idiots. We take the secrecy of our organization and the Game very seriously. Phillip Barrie is almost fanatical about it."

Shawn added, "We got entire divisions tasked with security all over the world with people placed in certain jobs and in governments to keep everything under wraps." 

"Which government?" Henry asked. 

"All of them," Yuri replied. He waved at the picture in Miranda's hands. "Right now is safe to assume our administration is operating with the worst case assumption, that Murphy and Patanjali are leaking to the British government. Our people within don't know what Patanjali or Murphy are saying, and that is the scariest piece of all. Watchers are used to seeing all." He pointed at the picture. "This is a blind spot. Makes our administration wonder what other blind spot there is. What else has been missed? Who else is snooping? Murphy is Torchwood and making it all more complex. Is he acting on his own?" He turned his gaze to Jack. "Or is he under orders?" 

"Wait a-"

Yuri waved him off. "I only speak of possibilities, Captain Harkness. I make no accusations here. We are friends and working together, da?"

Ianto drank some of his beer and set the bottle down on the breakfast bar. “And I think Yuri's hit the nail on the head." 

"You think this is all about making everyone immortal?" Gwen asked. 

"It's a good possibility," Shawn said. He gestured as he spoke. "Patanjali's in medicine and we classify that as a high threat profession, second only to journalists. There've been plenty of doctors, nurses, or paramedics who think an immortal's the key to eternal life or perpetual youth or curing all disease. Plenty of immortals have been kidnapped, experimented on, all for the sake of the greater good. Patanjali works in A&E where there's a high probability he's seen an immortal heal or revive. It's possible because he's worked in Cardiff's A&E he's seen some weirdo Torchwood shit too." 

"The hitchhiker," Ianto said. 

"What?" Gwen asked. 

Ianto said, "When Shawn first showed me his picture, I thought he looked familiar. He was there for that Hitchhiker and Mr. Williams. Do you remember, Jack?" 

"Pregnancy brain, Ianto, and that's what I have you for," Jack said. 

"It was ages ago now," Ianto said. "Eight? Nine years?"

"Vaguely... I think..." Jack said, then chuckled. "Was he the one who called us a couple?"

"He was," Ianto said, smiling.

"That made you chuffed to bits," Jack replied with a grin.  

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Well it was all a bit new to me back then." He sat back down on the bed. "Patanjali had mentioned something to us about bodies going missing, remember?" 

"I think I do," Gwen said. Her brow furrowed. "I vaguely remember looking into it. I think it wasn't enough to be anything, probably just a paperwork error."

"That's right," Ianto said. "At the time, we were all bogged down with training Fish, and we were short handed, so we let it go."

Shawn waved his arm. "There you have it." He turned his attention to Ianto. "It all works and it all fits, and that's bad." 

Ashley nodded. "Forget the security risk to the Watchers and the Game for a minute. The Watchers and Torchwood have a deal. This could put all that in jeopardy."

"So what do we do?" Gwen asked.

"We need more information," Ianto said.  

Henry, who had been remarkably quiet, said, "Why do we not simply speak with Ben?"

"It's not that simple, Henry," Jack said.

"What if he is being coerced?" Henry pointed out.

"We don't know that, but it's one of the things we need to find out," Ianto said, then turned his attention to the three Watchers. 

"And now we get to the reason we're all here," Shawn said, a frustrated smirk on his face. "You know, I was wondering when we'd get to the dirt nap portion of this discussion. You are one shitty best man, you know that, Ianto?" 

"You know we can't tell you anything," Ashley said. "We do and we get caught, and we will get caught, we're going to be right next to Kiernan in a shallow grave in the middle of the Beacons." 

Jack shook his head. "We don't want you to do anything risky. But anything, no matter how small, can help. Your people told Shawn about Ben's involvement, and now we know you know which is important. We just want to know if you're still willing to pass us information that you can pass us." 

Yuri sat forward. "What if we are willing to do more? What if you can gain access to Watcher computer network?" 

"Woah, woah, wait a minute there, Yuri!" Shawn said, waving his hands.

"Yeah, Shawn's right, that's a bad fucking idea!" Ashley added. She sat forward to glare at her colleague.

Ianto nodded. "I have to agree with them. If we were detected, it could make an already tense situation worse."

Yuri turned to Ashley and Shawn. "I know this sounds like bad plan-"

Shawn shouted, "No, Yuri, I don't just sound like a bad plan. It is a bad plan. It ain't just a bad plan, it's a monumentally fucking stupid plan! Ianto's right! When they catch them busting into our network, they're going to feel they've got definitive proof Ben's working under Jack's orders. Then everything's going to go to hell in a hand basket, including us!" 

Yuri said, "Is actually safest way to obtain most intelligence." He waved at the Torchwood team across from him. "All risk is theirs." 

"Gee, thanks," Jack said, rolling his eyes. 

Yuri raised an eyebrow at him. "Captain Harkness, you have access to technology from future that is also alien, do you not? Is how equipment to clone Mr. Murphy's phone caught fire and why we cannot hack into your system to obtain your security surveillance on Mr. Murphy?" 

"Yeah," Hart said. 

Fish nodded. "We've got the best on the planet because a lot of it isn't even from the planet or the twenty-first century.”

Yuri turned to Shawn and Ashley. "We do not have better than government security." 

Before Yuri could continue, Miranda said, "I think we need to strongly consider this option, Ifan. It might be a very dangerous venture, but we cannot hope to obtain that much information that quickly via any other means. With the futuristic and alien technology we have available, Yuri's right, we can break into their systems." She turned to the Watchers and said, "You've got Ben and Patanjali under full surveillance?"

Shawn nodded. "They both have full remodels."

"That's a lot of information, Ifan," Miranda said. 

Ianto nodded. "I think Mandy's right."

Shawn and Ashley shared a look and then stood up. "Sorry, y'all. We ain't touching this with a fifty foot pole." They both turned to Yuri, their hands outstretched. "No hard feelings, Yuri."

Yuri nodded, shaking their hands in turn. "I understand." 

They shook hands with everyone and said their goodbyes. Once they were gone, Jack turned to Yuri and asked, "Why are you so willing to help us?" 

"I served my country many years, Captain Harkness. I believe the point of life is to serve a greater purpose, but what purpose can one man serve when life is so brief? How can one man change the world, and make it better for all? The truth is most cannot. Change is done always small, always in little steps. All we can do is contribute our small part. One root from the tree grows into rock, making its small change. On its own is insignificant. But when many roots grow into that rock, splits it into pieces."

He sipped at his drink, then said, "I am Russian. I know governments and regimes rise and fall." He gestured at Henry, Miranda, and Ianto. "Game is only thing that truly endures. I do not believe in God, but I believe Game is great plan within the universe and must be protected. If your Mr. Murphy and this Dr. Patanjali are putting Game in danger, it must be prevented and stopped, even at the cost of my own life, because there are things in this world worth dying for." 

He drank again and said, "There is woman in technology department. Has the hots for me. I get the information you require." 

"You don't have to do that, Yuri," Ianto said. 

"Why not? She’s hot too," the man said with a smirk. "Nice round bottom."

Fish snorted and Jack laughed, then asked, "You sure?"

Yuri nodded and stood. He looked mildly insulted. "Your Mr. Murphy may be... I hope I use correct expression-a daft twat, Captain Harkness, but I was trained by best. Like riding bicycle." 

"John and I can do this without it," Fish insisted. 

"But would be significantly better with, da?" Yuri said. 

Hart and Fish nodded.

"Then I shall try. Sex is nice perk," he said, winking. He held out his glass to Ianto. "Davayte vyp’yem za uspekh nashego dela. Za vashe zdroveye." 

Ianto picked up his bottle and tapped it to Yuri's. "Iechyd da." 

After drinking the last, Yuri held his hand out to him. "I'll be in touch." He turned to Miranda. "Thank you for hospitality." 

Miranda nodded. "Pozhaluysta." 

Yuri rolled his eyes at her. "Your accent is atrocious.”

Hart rose to show him out. Once the Torchwood team was alone, Ianto turned to Henry and said, "Henry, you have an important role to play here. Ben has developed a strong friendship with Steven and that puts Steven, and by extension, the rest of the family, at risk." 

"What do you need me to do, lad?" Henry asked. 

Jack said, "You're at the house more than us because you're helping Alice with baby Henry. We need you to keep an eye on the kids.”

Ianto added, "Most importantly, we need you to keep watch for any potential surveillance on the house."

"I shall be wary and watchful," Henry said, nodding. 

"I know it goes without saying, but we cannot tip Ben off. Everything needs to stay the same," Ianto said. 

There were nods all around. 

"You mean it'd be bad if I punched him in the mouth?" Alicia said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Before Ianto could open his mouth, Gwen said, "I'd like to pop him one too."

"I believe we should reserve judgement until we know more," Henry said.

Before both women could angrily object, Ianto said, "Henry's right. Look, I know we all feel betrayed here. I feel the same, but if we change our behavior towards Ben, he's going to know something is up."

He looked at each one of them. "We crack on."

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the trickling of chapters. My daughter is now three and a half, and has started nursery. Until now she has been in the care of family whilst my husband and I are at work. These places are truly is where germs are born. Without exaggeration, she has been sick every single solitary weekend since she started with their summer camp in June.

 

Ianto didn't blame Shawn or Ashley for taking a step back. They were getting married and preparing to start a life together. The last thing Ianto wanted was for anything to happen to either of them and for that beginning to become an ending. A lot rested on Yuri’s promise of information. Ianto had spoken with Hart and Fish privately after their meeting at Miranda and John’s flat. The two technicians had reinforced what they’d said. Yes, they could do it without Yuri’s information, but it would increase the risk of detection. They had no real idea of how much, but any increase in that risk wasn’t acceptable to Ianto so he’d elected to wait. 

Alicia had voiced concerns about Yuri's intentions and motives, due to his history as a Russian spy. It was entirely possible that Yuri's information would backfire on them and there were a number of ways that could happen, but the only way to know they could trust him, was to do so. Ianto filed the concerns into the back of his mind. If it was a trap, their advanced technology would let them know immediately. 

Despite concerns, Yuri made good on his promise. The information made breaking into the Watcher database like sliding a hot knife through butter, and as far as Hart and Fish could tell, their own systems were still perfectly intact. 

They had unfettered access to the Watcher's entire electronic database. They could view whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted, and no one would be the wiser. Some parts were more secure than others, but those walls crumbled before Hart and Fish's skill. The database was meticulously organized. The archivist in Ianto was in awe. The good part was the organization and hierarchical structure helped them locate what they needed quickly and easily. It also helped them avoid information they shouldn't access. Ianto didn't want to poke around too much, but seeing the location of some information as they searched was unavoidable since everything was clearly marked. It took great force of will for him to not take a peek at what they knew about Jack, or his own chronicle, or anyone else's he knew for that matter. He made sure Fish and Hart recorded everything they did, as they did it. If this did come to light, they could show their dishonestly had had some integrity to it, for whatever that would be worth. 

Other than his curiosity, the second problem was the tens of thousands of hours of surveillance that needed watching. Since it needed to be done after hours and in parts of the Hub where Ben had no access, there were few eyes and ears for the job.

A solution presented itself in the form of Jack's rapidly swelling ankles. Due to the complications of his advancing pregnancy, Jack was now spending most of his time, in bed, laying on his left side. He was still required to get up and walk, but it gave him plenty of hours to comb through the surveillance of Patanjali and Ben. Ianto found one set of eyes and ears on it preferable anyway. 

Once Jack had gone on modified bed rest, the team had set up a rota to bring down food and drink. When it was Ianto’s turn, he set up the food on the tray along with a large glass of water and took it down. To his surprise, Jack wasn't in his temporary bed in the lounge. He saw the plug for the compression sleeves snaking into the bedroom. He turned for the bedroom door, but stopped when he heard Jack laughing. 

"Yeah, I thought you'd like that story. It's more age appropriate than my other ones," Jack said, quietly. There was another laugh then a sharp inhale of breath. "Hey, hey! That's a rib, sweetie, not a toy! OWW!" 

Ianto stifled a laugh. 

“YEOW! That hurts, baby girl!” 

Jack had been pregnant for over seven months, and this was the first time Ianto had heard him speak to Anwen. He felt a bit badly for eavesdropping, but it was adorable.  

“Hey, will you move that foot if I tell you a secret about your future, just like last time? Please, sweetie?”

The offending foot in his ribs must've moved, because Jack said, "Well, I have to follow through now, don’t I? Okay, here it is. Brace yourself, because it's a big shocker... you’re going to be a great explorer. Haha, that's right. You’re going to lead the first manned missions to Saturn’s moons. You find bacteria on Europa and then fossils on Titan.” 

Ianto's eyebrows shot up and he swallowed hard. 

Jack laughed and said, “We'll buy you a telescope some day. How do you like the sound of that?"

There was another laugh and Jack said, "I thought you would. Don't forget, it's our little secret." 

Ianto listened as Jack continued.

"I read about you when I was in school-Colonel Anwen Mary Cooper Williams who saved her entire expedition with her courage and cleverness. But that's what history tells about you. I can't wait to meet you, sweetie, the real you," Jack said, lovingly. He let out a sad chuckle. "I guess you can't wait to get out of there either. Must be getting cramped." 

Ianto closed his eyes as Jack's voice saddened. Unconsciously, he moved his hand to his chest, as his heart tightened. 

"You know, I'm gonna miss you when you go to your Mum and Tad, but I'll see you every chance I get," Jack said, softly. "Hey, don't be like that. Calm down. There you go. That's a good girl. My good girl." 

Jack sniffled hard and cleared his throat. "You're my little girl too. This time we've shared together, it's very special, Anwen. You won't remember it. But I will. I'll always be your Papa and I'll always remember..." 

Ianto held his breath. 

"I love you, Anwen," Jack said, softly. "Your Papa loves you..." 

He couldn't listen to anymore. He wiped his eyes, and took several slow, deep breaths. After clearing his throat, he said, "Jack?"

"I'm in here, Yan," he called. His voice wasn't entirely steady. 

Ianto pushed back the door, smiling. "Lunch, cariad."

"How long were you standing out there?" Jack asked. 

"Not long," he lied. He set the tray across Jack's legs and sat down. "I'm sorry I overheard."

"How much did you overhear?" Jack asked.

For a brief moment, Ianto thought about lying. "When you were finished with your story." He paused and added, "So she goes to space?" 

"There are some failed missions to Jupiter. But she pushes for missions to Saturn's moons," Jack replied. 

"Sounds like she has an amazing life ahead of her," Ianto said, rubbing Jack's belly. He asked, softly, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Jack shook his head. He curled his arm protectively around his belly. "I can't." 

Ianto rested his hand on Jack's and said, "I'm going to miss her too."

"It's not the same," Jack snapped. 

Ianto ignored the tone. The way Jack's arms were shielding Anwen spoke volumes to him. He shifted his hand to Jack's shoulder and said, "I know. I know it's going to be hard for you. Why don't you see if you can spend some time over at Gwen and Rhys's after she's born? They said you can spend as much time there as you want. Why not ask to spend the first week or two in their guest room?" 

Jack shook his head. "They're going to want privacy at first."

"They've not said that. If you don't ask, the answer's already no," Ianto said. He added, "Their parents are both gone. They're going to need the help. You've done this before."

Jack snorted. "Over thirty years ago, Ianto. Things are a little different now. Gwen's got a wipe warmer and going on about special laundry soap and organic baby food." 

"That doesn't mean you don't have something to contribute. You may not know what the latest gadgets and things are the best, but you can lend some healthy perspective and an experienced hand. You saw Rhys trying to swaddle that doll. They'd probably be glad for the help," Ianto replied. 

Jack hugged his belly again and nodded. The tears slid down and Ianto wiped them away. "I love you."

"I love you too, Yan," he said, wiping his face. He switched the subject, and said, "Thanks for bringing me lunch." 

"You're welcome," Ianto said, smiling. "Why are you in here? Is something wrong with the bed?" 

Jack shook his head. "No, that bed you got is great, but it doesn't smell like you both." 

"Alicia and I can sleep out in the lounge and you can move in here," Ianto said, smiling. 

He changed the subject further, and reached over for the paper pad. Jack had been watching the surveillance for two weeks. Normally, this amount of audio and video would take someone months to sort through, but Jack was watching and listening at quadruple speed and fast-forwarding through the blank sections where Ben or Patanjali were sleeping and whatnot. 

As he read Jack's notes, he asked, "Anything good?"

Jack pulled the tray towards him and began to eat. He peeled the top off the yogurt and began to stir. "Like I keep saying, most of it seems to be spent figuring out what's useless. There's a lot of overlap. It’s annoying when there’s audio from Patanjali's phone while there's also video from inside of his car. It's the same silence. I’m glad the software’s lining it up for me. The higher pitch of the quadruple speed takes getting used to, but it's faster to get to the important parts. They're definitely not working together. I think they might be competing for something. Don't know what though." 

He drank down his water and held out the glass out to Ianto for a refill. While Ianto filled the glass, Jack said, "Good news is that so far, Ben seems to be motivated by self-preservation. Patanjali's after something, but I don't know what. I'm surprised the Watchers haven't started this full surveillance on Frobisher." 

"Fish and John looked when they were stealing that footage, and they didn't find anything. Spying on a government official doesn't seem like it would be a barrier for them. They've got immortals in MiB and in governments all over the world. It'd probably be a simple thing for them to drop a camera or a listening device in his office or get someone to bug his house whilst he's out, but they haven’t,” Ianto said, gesturing at the laptop. He considered for a moment, then asked, "Do you think we should do that?" 

"Bug Frobisher's home and office? Yeah I think maybe we should," Jack said. He half shrugged and said, "I think the Watchers haven’t done it because it’ll give them a ton of stuff they won’t need. Like all this. A solid two thirds of it’s pointless. Talk to Will and John. They're good at that sort of thing." 

Ianto handed the water glass back to Jack. "How much do you still have left?"

"A good six months worth. I'll probably be done by the end of next week, then all we'll need to do is keep up with the current stuff. Like I said, most of it's just junk," Jack said. He picked up the empty yogurt pot and began licking it. "Ben just plays video games. Patanjali likes his porn. He's got this thing for guys masturbating onto women's breasts." 

Ianto didn't need or want to know that. He rolled his eyes. "Jack? Must you?" 

"What?" He ceased licking it and began using his finger to scrape out the container. 

"I can get you another one if you want more," Ianto said. He pushed the spoon towards him. "I did give you a spoon." 

Jack ignored him. He set the empty yogurt container down and surveyed the salad. "Yuri Serov gets a gold star. Patanjali's meetings with Frobisher are entirely about you guys and the Watchers, though, and that's not good news. He doesn't seem to know what he's reporting on yet, but he's got his suspicions."

"Such as?" Ianto asked. 

"Nothing that's remotely close to the truth," Jack replied. "He's seen you and Shawn together socially, so he thinks that Shawn's got some sort of attachment disorder." 

Ianto snorted at the idea. He reached for a tomato slice of Jack's salad. "What do you think we should do?" 

"We only have two options and both carry risk," Jack said around his food. He picked up a cashew and popped it into his mouth. "Either we let Ben keep going, as is. Or we confront him with the truth." 

"I've gone over every minute I've spent with him since he got here. I’m cautiously optimistic. I don't think he's not a bad person. I'm inclined to believe he's a good person in a bad position," Ianto insisted. 

"I feel for him, Ianto, I do." Jack gestured at the laptop. "But he hasn't done a good job hiding what's going on. He's cracking under the pressure. Running him as a double could push him over the edge. I don't think he can take it."

Ianto tapped the pad with Jack's notes. "He's cracking under the pressure, because Frobisher continually threatens to lock him away in a UNIT prison for the rest of his life. You remember the state you found Tosh in and she wasn't even in there that long." 

"Turning him into a double isn't going to stop Frobisher from threatening him with life imprisonment. In fact, it could make it all worse, because it gives him another facade he has to maintain," Jack replied.

Ianto sighed and flipped through more of the notepad. "Nothing really useful about Patanjali. Other than his tastes in pornography?" 

"No, dead end there," Jack said. He shrugged and added, with frustration, "All these hours of video and I still don't know much more other than he's a doctor. The Watchers are doing a pretty good job of letting Patanjali follow them, but not actually show him anything real." 

"The Watchers are good at what they do. Like Ashley said, they've been keeping things quiet for thousands of years," Ianto replied. He flipped the notepad to a clean page and put it back down onto the bed. "Keep at it." 

"I will," Jack said, picking up his pen.

Ianto took the tray and kissed Jack on the head. "Just ring upstairs if you need anything else." 

"Thanks, Yan." 

He ran his fingers through Jack's hair. "Everything is going to be all right, cariad..." 

There was a light knock on the bedroom door. Alicia said, softly, "Knock, knock."

"Why are you knocking on the door to your own bedroom?" Ianto asked, slightly exasperated.

"You two sounded like you were having a moment and it's one of our rules that we don't disrupt that kind of one-on-one thing" she said, stepping into the room.

"We weren't," Jack said, smiling. He waved at the pad. "We were talking shop." 

She nodded and said, "Oh, okay, I don't feel bad about interrupting then, because I need to talk to both of you. It's something I've thought about for a while since I figured it out and I've been trying to wait until the baby's born because I didn't want to rock the boat too much since you're in a delicate condition."

"Hey!" Jack cried with mock indignation.

Alicia ignored him and continued, "Anyway, I thought I could wait, but it's really bothering me and I'd like to talk about it, if it's all right with both of you." 

"If something is bothering you this much, you shouldn't wait, Alicia," Jack said. 

"He's right," Ianto said, nodding. 

"I didn't want to raise his blood pressure," Alicia said, rolling her eyes. 

"And I appreciate that, but it's upsetting to me that something is bothering you and you're holding it back," Jack said. 

"Me also," Ianto added. "I get you were trying to wait for the right time, but sometimes there is no right time. We'll talk now. Give me a minute." 

He took the tray out into the kitchen and set it down. When he returned to the bedroom, he sat down on the leather bench at the end of the bed. Alicia stayed standing by the door, rubbing the palms of her hands together. 

"I know I've been really insecure in this whole threeway thing since it started, and I want to start off by saying that I love both of you very much and I love my life here with you two. Now I want you both to listen carefully to what I'm about to say, because this is going to sound bad, but I can't think of any other way to word it and I promise it doesn't sound like what I'm saying, so please just don't jump to conclusions. I'm not going anywhere, I promise." She looked up at them both and said, "But, I can't keep doing this-" 

"Woah, wait a minute!" Jack cried. 

"Alicia!" Ianto exclaimed. 

She put her hands up. "Did you both not listen to a word I just said? It's not what you think it is! I'm not leaving! Chillax, for fuck's sake! You didn't even let me finish speaking!" 

When they'd both visibly relaxed, she said, "Thank you. I swear, the knee jerk on you two could take someone's eye out." She cleared her throat and continued, "The thing is, all this strain and stress about making me feel included and making it feel like it's equally the three of us... That's what I can't do anymore." She shook her head. "We're getting caught up in it so much that you two are trying to get a divorce over it. And that's just un-fucking-necessary. You both think the problem is that I don't feel included enough when, after a lot of thinking, I realized that the problem is actually that you two think it's not enough. Yeah I feel a lot like I'm on the outside looking in or that I'm a guest in your marriage, but I'm cool with that." She pointed at them. "It's you two who aren't cool with that." 

Jack frowned deeply. "You know, she does have a point." 

"I know I do, smart ass. You forget, I used to argue for a living," she said, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, I'm proposing a new solution. We stop it with all this threeway and triad nonsense and just be... whatever we are. We don't need to have a name for it. We all still live here together and we all still do everything we've been doing, but we just stop trying to force what this is into some mold. It doesn't matter if we're Jack and Ianto plus Alicia, or if we're Jack and Ianto and Alicia. That distinction doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is that I keep feeling so fucking deficient because I can't live up to what you two want." 

Ianto rose and pulled Alicia in for a hug, but she gently pushed him away. "I didn't realize that was what I was doing. I was trying to force it, trying to make myself feel the way you both think I should and I can't." 

Jack tried to sit up but failed. "Alicia, we don't think you should feel this way." 

"He's right. We're not trying to make you do anything, cariad. We just feel badly we can't get you to feel like you're an equal part of this. It makes us feel like we're doing something wrong," Ianto added. 

"That's the thing, I don't have a problem with not feeling like I'm an equal part. I'm happy just the way everything is. We keep trying to make this into some equilateral triangle, but we're not a fucking geometric shape. We're three people in a relationship that changes and evolves."

"We wanted you to feel like you were a part of this," Ianto said. 

Alicia smiled and said, "I know, and I do, just not the way you both think I should, but that doesn't mean that what I'm feeling is something that needs to change. I appreciate that sentiment, I really do, but it's tearing you two apart which is tearing the three of us apart, whether you two think it is or not, and that just isn't worth it to me. The two of you are part of the three of us. I love this and I love us and I love our lives just the way we are. I just want us to stop trying to fix something that in my mind isn't broken and doesn't need fixing." 

"I hate that you're giving up," Ianto said. 

"I'm not giving up, Ianto," she said, a little exasperated. "My brain. My heart. Neither thinks this needs to be fixed so it's never going to be. All it's doing is creating this feeling of inadequacy and I don't like it. It makes me feel like I don't love both of you enough."

Jack held out his hands and said, "Hey now..." 

"I know it's just my own demons talking there, but they still come up sometimes. I'm just afraid that little voice in my head is going to get louder," she said, shrugging. 

Ianto sat back down. "You've worked hard and come a long way to make it stop and Jack nor I want to be a part of it coming back."

Jack said, "If you're really fine, then we can do that." 

Alicia nodded and said, "I am." 

Ianto tilted his head and said, "What if we just let it go for a while, revisit all this a few months after the baby's born? Maybe we're just focusing on it too much." 

She hesitated, but reluctantly nodded. "All right." 

Just as Ianto began to stand, she put her hand up. "I'm not done." 

"Sorry," Ianto said, sitting back down. 

She took a deep, slow breath, and said, "When I'm gone-"

"Woah, woah-"

"When I'm gone," Alicia repeated over Jack. "There'll still be the two of you and I want there to still be a two of you, because it'll help me rest easier knowing you're both there to take care of each other, because I have never met two men more incapable of taking care of themselves than the two of you." 

Ianto let out a laugh. "I take offense to that." 

"Well don't, because it's true. Just because you hand wash your tighty-whities and know how to cook and vacuum when you should doesn't mean you're capable of taking care of yourself. Adulting is more than housework and paying your bills on time, it's also a level of emotional and spiritual maturity. Frankly the fact that you're both immortal gives me hope that you'll both attain it someday," Alicia said, rolling her eyes. She looked at them both. "All joking aside, as cliche as this is going to sound, I want you both to promise me something." 

"I'll bite," Jack said. "What?" 

Alicia held her head high and said, "One day, one of you is going to do something colossally fucking stupid, and I won't be here to stop it, or mediate you two through it because I'll be gone, and I know that that something stupid is going to break you two apart, because you'll both think it's something unforgivable, something that you can never come back from, but I want you both to promise me that no matter what, that you'll both still be there for each other whether you're together or not. You don't have to be friends. You don't even have to be fucking civil. Just be there for each other." 

"We promise," they said together. 

"Thank you," Alicia said, relieved. She sat on the bed next to Jack and put out her arms. "Bring it in guys."

Jack snuggled into Alicia's shoulder. "You scared us a minute there. We thought you were breaking up with us." 

"I just want us to stop getting bogged down in this. You both need to trust more," Alicia said. “And I don’t just mean each other. You need to trust yourselves and you need to trust the universe.” 

Before Jack could open his mouth, Alicia said, “Sometimes not everything is random. I think you've been part of enough coincidences involving time travel to realize that by now." 

Jack had always maintained the universe and existence itself was nothing more than random coincidence and Ianto always reserved judgment on such things. As Jack laced his fingers with theirs, Ianto saw doubt and wonder flicker over his face. 

 


	17. Chapter 17

 

Alicia and Ianto left Jack to continue reviewing the surveillance. Ianto had one hand in Alicia’s and the other was carrying the lunch tray as they left the flat. At the bottom of the north stairs, Alicia didn’t go to the main Hub. Instead, she led him further down to the sound proofed gun range. They slipped inside and Alicia shut the door. 

The last time she’s dragged him into the range, he’d eaten her out at one of the firing points. Remembering the amazing noises she’d made during each orgasm, his dick began to eagerly fill. He set the tray on the floor and reached for her. “This is a lovely surprise.”

But Alicia put her hand in the middle of his chest and said, “I just wanted to talk. Down boy.”

“Oh?” Ianto asked. 

“We’re okay, right?” she asked. 

He looked at her confused. “Of course, why wouldn't we be?" 

After a beat, Alicia gave him a shrug and said, "No reason, I just dropped a load of crap in our laps and I wanted to make sure.”

“We’re fine, cariad,” Ianto replied. 

“I also wanted to make sure you were okay. I know we're really focused a lot on Jack and the baby right now, and all this shit with Ben and Frobisher." She shrugged again. 

Ianto frowned. “I'm fine, cariad.”

“There’s a lot going on, Ianto,” Alicia said. “I’m feeling a little stretched so I can’t even imagine how you feel. Jack's taking a step back and you’re handling pretty much everything on your own.”

He was handling more of Torchwood now than he ever had before. The situation with Jack was worrisome and stressful. Ianto hadn't felt much like he'd had the opportunity to breathe and take stock, so he did that for a moment. 

“I’m fine. I could use some downtime when this is all done.” He reached for her again and waggled his eyebrows at her. “I wouldn’t say no to some stress relief right now.”

With a laugh, she let him steal a deep kiss. As he fumbled with the zip on her skirt, she laughed. “I’m sure I can accommodate you a little now and more later.”

He grinned at her. “I'll be eagerly anticipating later. But for now...”

After she smiled her permission and melted into him, he hiked up her skirt and slid his hands over her thighs. With a wicked grin, he slipped his hand upwards, gently cupping her sex through her knickers. He ground the heel of his hand into her and she let out a low moan. 

He slipped his finger inside the cloth and began rubbing at her clit. He felt heat and moisture collecting. 

“I’ve loved having all this time alone with you. I feel like we've become closer,” he whispered into her ear. 

“Me too,” she replied, breathless. 

“Jack should have some time with you like this too after Anwen’s born. I know he’d love it,” he said against her neck. 

Alicia stiffened and ducked her hips away from him. “What makes you say that?”

Ianto frowned at her. "I just thought we had this great alone time, Jack should too. I think he'd really like it. Wouldn't you?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “I just gave a whole speech about wanting to drop all this equilateral shit. What the fuck, Ianto?”

"Alicia, that's not how I meant it!” he cried. 

“Yeah? That's sure as hell how it sounded! It sounded like every single triad building exercise you've had us try since the three of us got together!” After she shifted her clothing back, her arms crossed over her chest. “I’ve had months of one-on-one time with you, so that automatically means Jack should too? Should I start tabulating hours so Jack knows exactly how long his time will be for?”

Ianto held out his hand. “Alicia, that’s not what I meant! This time has been very special to me. I don't think it's an obligation. I just think Jack would like it too.”

“I’m not a fucking cake where everyone gets a slice. You two don’t need to divide me up,” she said, rolling her eyes. She stormed to the range door and snapped, “Oh, and we’re not cool now.”

Without another word, she slammed the door in a huff. Ianto stood there half wondering what he’d done wrong, with his dick still hard and aching. He couldn't believe Alicia's ire hadn't wilted it. 

Bloody fantastic... he thought. He had no idea how to make this right. If it was Jack all he’d have to do was apologize and blow him-a thought that didn’t help his hard dick. 

It took a solid five minutes for it to fully wilt. When it had, he picked up the lunch tray and headed upstairs. Ianto rubbed at his forehead as he set the tray down in the Hub kitchen. Steven appeared behind him.

He said with a wink, "Let me guess, you want me to take care of that?"  

"Please," Ianto said, smiling. 

Steven took the tray from him and began loading the dishwasher. He leaned, looking at Alicia sitting at her desk. He cleared his throat and asked, “Everything okay?”

He wanted to tell Steven it was none of his business, but instead said, “I’m sure it will be. If I can figure out what I’ve done wrong.”

Steven snorted. “Sorry I can’t help. I don’t understand girls.”

“Who does?” Ianto muttered. He smiled and asked, “Are you seeing someone?”

Steven shook his head. “Not interested, to be honest. Strikes me as a lot of complicated drama I can do without right now. Or ever.” He pauses and added, “I mean, who says we have to be with someone? That that has to be our ultimate goal? I like being on my own. My friends are always after getting girlfriends or boyfriends. They always seem more preoccupied with the idea of a relationship or getting their leg over than they are getting to know someone or having a meaningful connection. They talk about it like they’re getting the fun out of their systems before they get tied down and I don’t think being with someone should be like that. Everyone here is still having plenty of fun and they're in committed relationships. I’m not all that keen on the idea of a random hook up with some random person. I mean, if I want to get off that’s what the Internet’s for." He paused in his ramble and blinked, then blushed a little. "Sorry that was over sharing.”

Ianto smiled. “You’re not, and I understand what you mean. No, there’s nothing wrong with wanting more or wanting nothing at all. It’s your life, Steven. What makes people happy differs.”

The young man nodded and poured the powder into the dishwasher. “Sorry I kind of went off like that, I get defensive about it. Mum and Tom ask about my dating a lot because they don't want me to be alone, but they don't understand that I'm not alone. I've got my family and my friends and right now that's plenty for me. It’s one of the reasons I like it here at Torchwood. There’s little to no judgment.”

“Well, we do try.” Ianto leaned against the worktop and said, "You've been doing a great job. The north sub-basement's never looked better." 

"That was just slapping some paint on the walls," Steven said, shrugging.

"Henry said you're learning the filing system," Ianto added.

Steven shrugged again. "It's not hard. I don't know why Uncle Jack thinks it's so complicated."

"It's not and he doesn't. He just acts like it is so he doesn't have to do the filing," Ianto replied.

"And you let him get away with that?" Steven asked, smirking.

Ianto nodded, also smirking. "He knows that I know and that I let him get away with it. It's called love."

He opened the fridge and began sifting through the out dated containers. He said, absently, "Probably need a trip to the shops soon. I'll make a list."  

Steven shut the dishwasher and put the tray up on the shelf. "Uhh, Uncle Ianto?" 

"Hmmm?" Ianto said.

"Could we maybe... uh... talk a little more?" 

The hesitancy and nerves in Steven's voice made Ianto turn. "Sure, Steven. What's on your mind?" 

"Privately?" Steven suggested. 

"Of course," Ianto said. Given their previous topic, Ianto wonder if the young man was looking for some sort of sexual advice. He craned his neck. "Meet me in Jack's office." 

Steven nodded and walked away. Ianto set the coffee to brew and then went to join him. After stepping into Jack's office, Ianto shut the door. "So what's on your mind, Steven?" 

"I think Ben's in trouble somehow," Steven said. 

Ianto tried to sound as nonchalant as possible since that was the last thing he expected Steven to say. "What do you mean?" 

Steven cleared his throat and said, "He comes by sometimes to play video games on his days off. About a month ago, he asked me to do him a favor."

"A favor?" Ianto asked. Jack hadn't watched this far into the surveillance yet. 

Steven pulled an envelope out of his back pocket. "He's been asking me to mail letters for him. At first, it was only a few, here and there, so I didn't think anything of it. Now he's got a thick stack of them every time he comes round." 

He passed the envelop to Ianto. "He was really jumpy about them too. I was worried because they’re in the house with Mum and Tom and baby Henry. So, I steamed open one and read it. When I saw what was in it, I made a copy." 

"That was a dangerous thing to do, Steven," Ianto said. 

"I'm not thick, Uncle Ianto. I know it was dangerous. Don't worry. I was careful. You couldn't tell when I was done. The fact that Ben sealed them like he was a knob end helped," Steven said. 

"Not yet. I'm going to make Jack a snack and you're going to take it down to him. Wait for me there," Ianto said. 

He left Jack's office with Steven. After slicing up a grapefruit and putting it on a plate, he put the lightest dusting of salt over it. Jack would need a treat after he heard about this. "Take this down to your grandfather. I'll be down to check on him in a minute." 

"Sure," Steven said, rolling his eyes at the poor subterfuge. 

Ianto walked into the autopsy bay and bumped into Martha as she was walking up the stairs. "Oh, Ianto, sorry. Just going to check Jack's blood pressure." 

"I'll do it," Ianto replied with a smile. 

Martha shrugged and handed over the cuff and stethoscope. "Be my guest. I don't care what sexual favors he offers you to tell me it isn't too high."

"Right," Ianto said, waving over his shoulder.

He strode across the Hub, not looking up. When he got to the flat, he walked in and shut the door behind him. "Jack? Steven?" 

"Yeah, in here, Ianto!" Jack called out.

When Ianto got into the bedroom, Jack was sucking on the grapefruit. "Thanks for the salt. You shouldn't have, but I love that you did." 

"I figured you could use the treat," Ianto said. He looked at Steven. "Did you say anything?" 

Steven pointed at the blood pressure cuff. "I figured you'd want to do that first." 

"Good point," Ianto said, moving towards the bed. 

"What?" Jack asked. 

"Just let me do this first, Jack," Ianto said, smiling. He quickly took the reading and packed the cuff away. "One thirty over ninety. Too high but holding steady." 

"So you want to tell me what's going to make it go up?" Jack asked, raising an eyebrow. “My grandson’s here so it can’t be anything too naughty.”

"It's your information, Steven. Go on," Ianto said.

"Ben's been mailing letters from the house," Steven said.

“Whose house?” Jack asked sucking the grapefruit. 

“Mine.”

"What?" Jack roared.

"I steamed open one of the letters and made a copy. I gave it to Uncle Ianto," Steven said. 

"Did you read it?" Jack cried. 

"Well, yeah," Steven said, rolling his eyes. "How do you think I knew to give it to Uncle Ianto?" 

"Steven! Do you have any-"

"-idea how dangerous what I did was? Yeah, I do, Uncle Jack." He held up his hands and said, "Look, Ben's not a bad bloke. He's been stressed as fuck lately-“

“Stop swearing, Steven.”

“-He's been making a lot of strange, odd comments when he's over about how it's his only time to relax and how he's spread too thin or feels like he's being pulled in a million different directions. I thought it had to do with this place, because sometimes you lot are running yourselves ragged, but now I know it's something else. That letter was about all sorts of stuff that’s no one’s bloody business. Someone wanting to know all of that is up to nothing good. Ben’s told me I'm the only friend he's got. I'd like to help, but I understand this is above my pay grade and isn't remotely in the category of 'nothing dangerous'.“

"We don't pay you," Ianto said. 

"Exactly," Steven replied, rolling his eyes. "I'm handing you that, and whatever you do with it is whatever you do with it, all right? If I can help out, great. If not, well, then I'm going to keep my head down and keep putting letters into the post for my friend like this never happened." 

Ianto nodded said, "Steven? Can you find Henry and bring him down here? Oh, and stop in the autopsy bay on the way up and tell Doctor Jones your grandfather's blood pressure."

Steven nodded and left the flat. 

"I should never have let him come here," Jack said, sighing. 

"He's putting a few letters into the post, Jack. It's not like Ben's asking Steven to hack into Torchwood's systems or steal something from the Archive," Ianto said, rolling his eyes. He tapped the paper and handed it to Jack.

Jack's eyes scanned the letter and he said, "It looks like part of his report to Home Office. It's focusing on the immortals, our healing and reviving. There's also a mention of a device Fish was taking apart last week. There's a few personal notes in there too. Even though Ben knew what it was, he didn't tell Frobisher. He's trying really hard to be vague about everything." 

"We may need to tell Steven the truth," Ianto said. 

"What? Are you out of your mind?" Jack cried. 

"Jack, calm down, we need Steven's cooperation for this," Ianto said. 

There was a light knock at the door and Ianto shouted, "C'mon in, Henry!" 

Henry let himself into the flat and walked into the bedroom with Steven behind him. "You wished to speak with me, lad?" 

Ianto nodded. He took the paper from Jack and handed it to Henry. "Ben has been using Steven to put his reports to Home Office into the post." 

Henry raised an eyebrow, alarmed. "Forgive me. You asked me to keep an eye out for anything unusual. I'm afraid I did not consider the contents of Alice and Tom's postbox."

"It's all right, Henry, it wasn't a move we expected either," Ianto said.

Henry turned to Steven, but before he could say anything, Steven said, "I know, it was dangerous. They’ve already said. But Ben’s my friend and I couldn’t just sit by."

"Actually, lad, I was going to commend you on your cleverness, not scold you," Henry said. "What made you decide to snoop?"

"Ben's been acting funny. He's stressed and jumpy," Steven said, shrugging. "There just seemed to be something wrong and he won't talk to me about it. Every time he brings these bloody letters over, he looks at them like they're going to grow legs and attack him."

Ianto picked up the pad next to the laptop and wrote down a filing code. "Steven, Ben's being coerced into spying on us. We don't know why yet, but we're going to try to help him, and we need you to help us out. Nothing dangerous, I promise, but you can't let Ben know that you know or what we're up to." 

Steven nodded. "If it'll help him, I'll do whatever you want." 

"It will," Ianto said. He handed Henry the slip of paper. "I need you to take this item home tonight. It's a special scanner. It'll read all the written information within the letters and download it. Don't leave it at Alice and Tom's, take back and forth with you." He turned to Steven. "Steven, when are you putting the letters into the post?" 

"Ben comes early Saturday morning and sometimes Tuesday nights to raid. He's usually got letters both times. I drop the ones from Saturday into the post on Monday, and the ones from Tuesday the next afternoon or the next day depending," Steven said. 

"Henry, when are you at Alice's to help with baby Henry?" Ianto asked.

"This will work perfectly. I'm there Monday through Thursday. Usually in the afternoon into the early evening," Henry said, reading the filing code. "Steven, if you could leave the letters out where I can have easy access to them? Perhaps on the desk in your room?" 

Steven nodded. "Yeah, I can do that. But wouldn’t it be easier for me to scan them myself?”

Jack shook his head. “Absolutely not.”

Henry said, “I’m inclined to agree with your grandfather, Steven. This is different than merely dropping something into the post. If you were scanning them, you’d have no deniability.”

“Okay, I got it. Do you want me to wait to send them out?"

"No," Ianto said, quickly. "It all stays the same. No changes. Nothing to arouse suspicions.” 

Steven nodded. "Got it."

"I don't like this one bit," Jack said. 

Steven looked at his grandfather. "Uncle Jack, I understand why no one wanted me here. Joe's upstairs, taking apart something that could blow his head off and there's an alien downstairs that could turn me into mincemeat. Whatever this is, I can tell it's dangerous too. But very little is changing here. Ben's still going to come by and leave letters for me to put in the post. The only difference is they're going to be on my desk instead of in the drawer." He tapped the piece of paper. "There's risk. But that risk's acceptable to me, and it's my choice."

Jack waved at Henry. "C'mon, back me up here, Henry! Our family is in that house!"

Henry nodded and folded the paper with the filing code. "They are, Jack. But Ben is the one who has put them in harm's way. The only way to resolve this situation is to put an end to this, and the best way to do that is to obtain more intelligence. I'm certain you agree that the sooner this is resolved, the better." 

With a frustrated noise, Jack said, "Fine." He pointed at his grandson. "You! No more steaming open letters. You don't even so much as breathe wrong when Ben's around." 

Steven held up both his hands. "You got it, Uncle Jack." He turned to Ianto and said, "You need me to do anything else? Doctor Jones said she wants to show me how to set everything up for the birth just in case she needs to do an emergency c-section."

Ianto shook his head. "Go on. Thank you for bringing this to us, Steven."

Steven nodded and left. Once Ianto heard the flat door shut, he turned to Henry and said, “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you to be careful. Steven is right that his risk is minimal, but yours isn't.”

“I shall exercise an appropriate amount of caution. I take it we wish to keep Thomas and Alice ignorant of these events?” Henry said. 

“Absolutely,” Jack replied. 

Henry raised an eyebrow, reading the filing number. “I shall locate this device. I assume it’s use is self-explanatory?”

“Point and hit a button to scan, then point at another device to upload the information,” Ianto said. 

“If I have difficulty, I shall enlist Joe’s help,” Henry said. Before Ianto said anything, he added, “I shall impress upon him the need for discretion should I do so. I’ll return momentarily to verify I have located the correct device.”

“Don’t let Ben see it on your way down,” Ianto said. 

“Understood,” Henry replied. The Duke turned and left the flat. 

Jack scrubbed at his face. “I’ve tried to keep Alice and Steven hidden so no one can use them against me.”

“But that’s the risk of having them in our lives, Jack,” Ianto replied. “I know you want to protect them, and we will as best we can. I know it's your first instinct, but pushing them away isn’t the answer. Steven's right, it's their risk to take." 

Jack closed his eyes and nodded. Ianto saw tears leaking out of the sides. He sat down on the bed and wiped the tears. "It'll be all right, cariad." 

There was a solid knock at the flat door and Ianto called out, "C'mon in, Henry!" 

The door opened and Henry stepped into the flat. He reached into the bag he was holding and took out the item. "Is this it, lad?" 

Ianto nodded. "Yes." 

Henry put it back into the bag and said, "Whilst I was retrieving this item, I did some thinking, lad, and with your permission, I would like to inform Thomas of the situation." 

"I don't know if that's a good idea, Henry," Ianto said, frowning. 

"I am only at the house a few short hours for part of the week. I believe this situation warrants more of a presence. While I'm hesitant to involve my son, I believe his training as a detective will be valuable," Henry said. 

Ianto took a breath and looked at Jack. The two of them shared a wordless conversation and Jack nodded. Ianto turned back to his friend. "All right. Tell him whatever you feel is pertinent."

"With your permission, I'll head to the house now," Henry said. 

"Thanks, Henry," Ianto said. 

After shaking hands with both men, Henry left the flat. Ianto turned to Jack and said, "Tom will protect his family." 

Jack took a deep breath. "I know. I'm glad Alice has him." He sighed. "Alicia's right, we need to trust more."

"She's cross with me," Ianto said, with a sigh. 

"What? Things were fine a few hours ago," Jack said. 

"We were fooling around in the firing range, and I mentioned how I thought it would be nice if you got some more time alone with her."

"Ianto, she just got done talking to us about how she wants to stop all that," Jack said.

"I didn't see it like that, Jack. I was just mentioning something I thought you'd both enjoy," Ianto replied, frustrated. 

"She's touchy about it right now, especially since she held it in and didn't say anything," Jack said. "You want me to talk to her?" 

"No, I upset her, I'll talk to her," Ianto said, but he had no idea how to do it. 

 


	18. Chapter 18

 

With a pen in his hand, Ianto handed the letter he’d just finished reading to Miranda and picked up another. The two immortals had taken on the job of reading the letters Ben had been sending through Steven. Ianto was making notations on the print-outs. They had only been collecting the letters for a week, and already, Ianto didn't want to read anymore. Every letter was vague description of anything Ben could think of, from rift alerts to artifacts to personal details. The letter in Ianto's hand contained a play-by-play of what had happened between him and Alicia in the firing range. He swore in Welsh, then threw the letter down. 

"That fucking wanker!" he cried. "Coerced or not, this is intrusive. There’s a difference between personal and private" 

Miranda looked over the paper in her hand. "Bad?" 

Ianto waved at the closed bedroom door. "Alicia and I try not to be intimate around Jack out of consideration since he's out of commission. We were fooling around a bit in the range, and I said something that upset her and we had a row. I don't know how he managed it, but he heard us!" Ianto dropped the paper and said, "I'm going to rip his bollocks off and jam them so far up his arse, he'll be picking his pubes out of his teeth!"

Miranda tapped the paper to her right. "He has included many intimate details. John and I had thought our disagreement in the supplies cupboard hadn't been overheard."

Ianto raised an eyebrow of his own. He faintly wondered what a domestic between Miranda and Hart would even look like, let alone the make-up sex. The nosy question was out of his mouth before he could stop it. "Disagreement?" 

Miranda rolled her eyes. "For some reason I cannot comprehend, John wishes to have a modern marriage ceremony." 

Both of Ianto's eyebrows shot up. He reached over for his glass of water. "You're kidding." 

His teacher shook her head. "The 'White Wedding' as it were. I believe the wedding related reality television he enjoys has gone to his head."

Mid-sip, Ianto began to choke. Water sprayed out of his mouth and into his lap. Still sputtering, Ianto coughed, "Sorry... Sorry... You're telling... telling me... that Captain John Hart... watches wedding reality television?" 

The information was almost too good to be true. Ianto didn't know where to even begin. Miranda gave him a look of warning. "Ifan..." 

"Oh c'mon, Mandy! You cannot tell me something like that juicy and not expect me to rip the bloody piss out of him for it!" Ianto cried. 

"Ifan..." she warned. 

He didn't answer, just rolled his eyes. There was no way he was going to agree to not at least file the information away for some point in the future. 

Ianto stood to refill his water glass and his knee impacted the coffee table. Since it was shoved against the wall to make room for Jack's bed, it didn't move far and hit the wall with a loud bang. Ianto muttered, "Shit..." 

After a few seconds, the door to the bedroom opened and Jack peered out. "You two okay out here?" 

"Sorry, cariad, I didn't mean to wake you," Ianto said, regretfully. 

"It's okay, I need to get up and walk around anyway," Jack replied. 

Miranda waved at the small washroom. "Before you do that, give me a urine sample, please, Jack." 

"Another one?" he whinged. 

She pointed at the washroom and snapped, "Your one this afternoon had protein in it. So, yes, another sample, please. I believe you whinge about your frequent urination several times a day, so I know you have some to spare." 

"Fine, fine..." he sighed, wandering towards the toilet. 

When he was done, he said, "The cup's on the vanity." 

Miranda stood. "Couple of laps around the lounge, please." 

When she walked into the bathroom, she dumped the small cup of urine onto the test strip. 

Ianto raised his head. "And the verdict is?" 

"Trace protein again," she said, binning the strip. As she cleaned the sink, she turned to Jack and tapped out a text. "I'm going to discuss it with Martha, but she's going to want to deliver you." 

"I'm barely thirty eight weeks, Will," Jack whinged. 

"Which is full term, Jack. I agree that I would like to get you to the full forty, but trace protein is not a good sign. Thirty-eight weeks is a perfectly respectable gestation," Miranda replied. She slipped her phone back into her pocket. "Martha's on her way down to check your blood pressure and take a blood sample."

"Pre-eclampsia?" Ianto asked.

Miranda nodded. "It's likely. I want Martha to rule out HELLP syndrome." 

There was a light knock at the door and Miranda went to open it. Martha stepped into the room and pointed at the chair. "Sit, so I can do this." 

Jack waddled his way over to the chair and eased himself down. 

"Trace protein, you said, Miranda?" Martha asked, popping the stethoscope into her ears. 

"Yes, same as this afternoon," she said. 

Ianto stood up and put his hand on Jack's shoulder, watching Martha work. 

"One thirty over ninety," she reported. She tied the tourniquet around Jack’s arm and began the blood draw. 

"At least that's holding steady," Miranda said. 

Martha slid the blood tubes into the analyzer. "It's time, Jack. There's protein in your urine.”

"It's a trace amount," Jack whinged. 

When the analyzer beeped, Martha examined the readout. "Everything is normal for now. Even though I know Miranda doesn't agree with me, I think we should deliver you." 

Miranda shrugged. "I do agree that forty weeks is likely out of the question now, but it is possible we could wait a little longer."

"Sitting right here, guys," Jack said, waving. 

Martha ignored him and said, "It's not just that I'd rather not put Jack through anything, but HELLP syndrome and full eclampsia can put Anwen at risk."

"Don't I get a say here?" Jack asked.

"No," Martha and Miranda said simultaneously.

"I'm not eager to let Jack die in childbirth either, but I think Mandy's right. We could give it a few more days, get in the solid thirty eight, make sure Anwen develops all her feeding cues and puts on some weight. I'm sure Jack can hold out seventy two hours," Ianto said. 

"Again, don't I get a say here?" Jack asked.

"No," Martha and Miranda and Ianto all said.

Jack rolled his eyes. "Well I'm putting in my two pence anyway. I can hold out to forty weeks." 

"It's not like this is a matter of willpower, Jack. It's about Anwen's safety. You start having seizures, you'll endanger your oxygenation and Anwen. Danger to your internal organs puts her in danger too," Martha said, rolling her eyes. 

Jack gave her a tight smile and nodded. He held his hands up. "I get it. Okay. Okay." 

"I think this is a foolish risk, Jack. Everything after thirty-eight weeks is gravy," Martha said, sternly. 

"You can increase my monitoring," Jack insisted. 

With a sigh, Martha said, "Your protein goes up a milligram? That kid comes out. Your blood pressure goes up so much as one millimeter of mercury? That kid comes out, I don't care what week you're in." 

"All right, Martha, I got it," Jack said.

Miranda said, "You want to start weaning him off the blood thinners?"

Martha shook his head. "Normally, I would, but I think the risk of stroke outweighs the bleeding risk during the delivery." 

"I won't hold it against you, Martha," Jack said, smiling. 

She rested her hand on Jack's belly, and Ianto could see the baby move from where he was. "You rest up and try and take it easy, all right?" 

He scratched at his belly and pointed at the coffee table. "We got other things going on right now." 

Martha nodded. "I know. Probably too much to hope Jack Harkness will have a lie in even when he's bloody nine months pregnant. You want me and Mickey to poke around a bit?" 

"I don't think UNIT will know anything and it's not worth the risk to either of you," Ianto said. He gestured at the letters. "Right now, they don't know we know and we'd like to keep it that way."

Jack added, "He's right." 

She nodded and stood. "You're going to be having another piss in a cup tomorrow morning.”

“Got it,” he said. He tilted his head. "Thanks for being here, Martha." 

She smiled and nodded. "My pleasure to be here. You’re family and when else am I going to have the unique experience of caring for a pregnant cis-man. I've got the time and Miranda had the spare room." 

"Tell Mickey I appreciate the sacrifice," Jack said, smiling. 

"You should appreciate me keeping him away. He was practically begging to see you pregnant. He wanted video of the waddling," Martha teased. She gave him a wink as she left the flat. 

"That's just what I need," Jack said, rolling his eyes. 

Miranda turned to Ianto and said, "You know, we don't have any pictures. We should do one of those pregnancy photoshoots before you give birth." 

Ianto nodded. "Now there's an idea. We could do one of those casts of your belly, too." 

"Why do you two always gang up on me when you're together?" Jack said, rolling his eyes. 

Miranda shrugged. Ianto smirked and said, "Because it's fun."  

He took out his mobile, and snapped a quick picture of Jack. 

"Hey!" Jack cried. "C'mon, Ianto! I'm all bloated and I've got cankles for goodness sake!" 

Ianto smiled at him fondly and said, "And you've never looked more lovely."

Jack blushed slightly and Ianto winked at him. He turned back to the letters and said, "The fact that they're after information about us isn't good." 

"That's not necessarily what they're after, Yan," Jack said."He's got a lot of information here, but I think he's loading his reports with personal information and the Game so he can be vague about the rift alerts and other artifacts that have dropped through. Granted, a lot of that stuff's unidentified so he can't tell them much, but I think he's focusing on non-Torchwood related information on purpose." 

"That's just an assumption, Jack," Ianto said. He picked up the voyeuristic letter. "He's been pretty fucking prying. I was just telling Mandy there’s a difference between personal and private.”

Miranda began scooping up the papers. "He skived off again today." 

"I know, he told me. He said he was going to see his sponsor," Ianto said, leaning back. He tapped his mobile. "He is in London, but he didn't go to Home Office this time."

"I forgot to ask, is there actually a sponsor in London? Or is Ben making him up?" Miranda asked.

Ianto nodded. "There is, Ben gave me his information so I could do a background check. Bloke's name's Mallory Badget, Ben calls him Badger."

"That name sounds familiar to me somehow," Miranda muttered, frowning. 

"Any useful information on him?" Jack asked.

Ianto shrugged. "Not really. I did the full background check. Only child. Parents deceased. Raised by the maternal grandfather of the same name. His financials are a little peculiar. The maternal grandfather left him a sizable estate. He lives off that money, but lives in a dodgy part of east London and sells drugs."

"Lovely," Miranda said, rolling his eyes. 

"He's had some alcohol and drug related arrests, but nothing recently. Ben's been friends with him since he was a kid and speaks to him pretty regularly which is likely why Ben hasn't fallen off the wagon with all the strain he's under."

"Is it possible the sponsor knows something?" Miranda asked.

"No and Ben seems to be going out of his way to not tell him anything. He's using the usual classified excuse," Jack said. He waved at the letters. "We've got the surveillance off of Ben's mobile. He's careful not to take it in to his meetings at Home Office, but he's not that cautious at all when meeting with this Badger guy." 

"What about the rest of Ben's friends?" Miranda asked. 

"Nothing we've heard, but Ben hasn't been in touch with many of his friends since he came here, just the sponsor. There's nothing in his social media or regular e-mail correspondence," Ianto replied. 

Jack picked up one of the letters and raised an eyebrow. He let out a disappointed sigh. "I think I'm going to go lay back down." 

Miranda reminded, softly, "Don't forget-"

"The leg sleeves, I know, Will," Jack said, rolling his eyes. He waddled towards the bedroom, shut the door behind him. 

Miranda reached into her back pocket and took out a cigarette. After a few taps of the filter on the coffee table, she slipped it between her lips. 

The action looked automatic, and Ianto rapped his knuckles on the coffee table in front of her. "Mandy? Do you mind?"

"Oh, forgive me, Ifan," she said, putting the cigarette back.  

"You've been doing a lot of that lately," Ianto noted.

She shrugged and gestured at the letters. "While I enjoy its soothing qualities, it occasionally helps me think. This doesn't make any sense to me." 

"Why not? It makes perfect sense," Ianto said. He tapped the papers. "Get someone inside to inform on us, just as Yuri said." 

"But why bother?" she asked, sorting the letters. "The Crown need only demand what they want." 

"You think this isn't sanctioned?" Ianto asked. 

"I highly doubt it," she replied, frowning. 

"But Her Majesty knows we're immortal," Ianto said.

Miranda said, shrugging, "While Her Majesty doesn't know about you specifically, she knows about Jack and I and the Game because it was unavoidable. No Sovereign has reigned long enough to need to be informed until now." 

Ianto frowned. "When did you and Jack tell her?" 

Miranda took out the cigarette again, but instead of attempting to light it, she began twirling it around with her fingers. "Turn of the millennium. She understood the seriousness of the information. She is the type of person who can hear a thing and never have it pass their lips again. As for the rest of Torchwood's secrets, we've had a certain amount of autonomy. Someone asks, but we have the ability to say no. That's always been acceptable in the past, but now? After the time terrorists, we're under more scrutiny, but all the government need do is inform Her Majesty we are not being as cooperative as they want. The Queen does not normally like to step into such situations, but she will. If they had approached her regarding this information, she would've ordered them to leave it be."

"You think Frobisher is acting alone?" Ianto asked.

"Patanjali's motives are also another unanswered question," Ianto said. He began gathering up the letters. "I can't read anymore tonight." 

 

Miranda checked her fob watch and raised an eyebrow. "Is that the time? I'm late to meet John." 

Eager to change the subject, Ianto asked brightly, "Date night?"

Miranda stood and went to check her reflection in the mirror by the door. "We're going to Eagle." 

Surprised, Ianto raised an eyebrow and said, "Uh, Mandy, I hate to break it to you, but Eagle is men and members only on weekends." 

Miranda also frowned. "It is? I didn't realize. John picked it." 

"Jack and I used to be members, but we let it lapse. John can buy a membership at the door, but they won't let you in," Ianto said. He took out his mobile and brought up the website. With a smirk, he turned the phone to show Miranda the screen. "And it's Welsh Pup night. If John's into that sort of thing."

"That is certainly not what John and I had in mind," she said, looking at the screen. 

Ianto asked, "Are you looking for drinks and dancing, or to find some company?" 

"Both," Miranda said. 

"Male or female?" Ianto asked. 

"Preferably male," she replied. 

After some brief thought, he tapped out a text. "It's been a few years since Jack and I went out on the scene, but try The Kings. It's mostly a male crowd and more female friendly. If you want something a little younger, with more women, you can try Pulse. I just sent you the addresses." He added with another smirk, "Not that it's any of my business, but I didn't think you and John... danced." 

"On extremely rare occasion we do, with someone of the appropriate flexibility," she said, with a wink. 

He grinned and said, "Have a good night, Mandy.”

“Oh, I plan to, Ifan,” she said, waggling her eyebrows. She opened the flat door, winked at him, then left. 

Alone for the moment, Ianto sighed and scrubbed at his face. He slipped the letters into their folder and resisted the urge to tear them into shreds. A part of him wanted to retcon Ben back to puberty, but that wasn't the smart thing to do since they still needed to find out what was going on. That same part wanted to let Miranda and John extract the information with their particular brand of creativity, but that wasn't a good idea either. 

He wanted to give Ben the benefit of the doubt since he was being coerced, but it wasn't easy. This betrayal explained all of Ben's erratic, angry, and distant behavior over the past two years. It was easier to betray people you kept at arms length. Miranda also had a point about Ben's focus on non-Torchwood related information. But all Ianto had done the entire time Ben had been betraying them was give him the benefit of the doubt.

As he dropped put the folder down in the center of the coffee table, the flat door opened. He didn't need to turn around to know it was Alicia. 

"Cariad..." he said. 

She asked, surprised, "Are you still reading those?"

"No, I couldn't stomach it anymore," he replied. He sighed and said, "How'd it go?" 

"It was good," Alicia said. She took her coat off and hung it on the hook, then dropped her handbag on the small table beneath the mirror, along with her keys. 

Under the guise of teaching Henry how to knit, Alicia had been spending evenings at Fish and Henry's apartment. Even though Jack had nothing but time on his hands, watching the surveillance had begun to raise his blood pressure. Concerned, Martha and Miranda had deemed the surveillance off limits. Ianto had shifted the assignment to Fish and Alicia. 

She patted her belly. "Henry made us dinner. I'm so full. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. That crispy skin is my weakness. Fish and I practically got into a fist fight over it. I don't know what Henry does to those potatoes, and he wouldn't tell me, but they're fucking delicious. He made this incredible casserole thing with kale." 

Ianto's face twisted. "Kale?"

"You make that face, but you didn't taste it. It had bacon and cheese and these toasted breadcrumbs on the top." She rolled her eyes into her head. "It was amazing. I mean, Henry's an incredible artist, but I think he missed his second calling as a chef.”

Ianto nodded, "He always says he's not much of a cook, but he cooks better than I ever could. I think he does it to make Fish happy. He does delight in feeding people." 

"Yeah, my aunt was like that," Alicia said. 

Ianto asked, "How did the rest of it go? You guys get through some of the video?" 

"There's so much of it," Alicia said, sitting down. "Maybe if all three of us did nothing but watch it we could get caught up faster, but that could make Ben suspicious. Jack’s right though. A lot of the time is spent lining up the audio and video and figuring out the blank parts and getting to what’s important." 

Before she could bend to remove her shoes, Ianto knelt at her feet, reaching for the straps to unbuckle them. He hooked his fingers into the straps and stood, putting them by the door. "Was it just more of the same?" 

"Yeah, the usual day to day stuff. He's going to work, going home, going to bed, and doing it all over again. The guy's boring as fuck. He's never even gone out and gotten laid or anything and we've gone through months' worth of the surveillance already. The guy sure does love his porn though," Alicia said, rolling her eyes.

"I think we're going to need to confront Ben. I want to wait until after Anwen's born though," Ianto said.

"Well, that's only a few more weeks," Alicia said. 

"Probably sooner with the protein in his urine. Even Mandy's getting twitchy about it," Ianto replied. 

Looking concerned, she asked, "Is he all right?" 

Ianto nodded. "It's a trace amount and his blood pressure is holding, so everything is fine for now. Martha said that if anything increases, she wants to deliver him." 

She frowned. "He's being stubborn. I get he wants to make it to the end, but I think taking any risk is stupid."

"I'd like to get a few more days in. The development isn't set in stone. Yes, he's precisely thirty eight weeks today and thirty-eight weeks is full term, but these are guidelines. Anwen wasn't full term yesterday and magically full term today. A few more days would put him solidly into thirty-eight weeks and definitely increase the chances of her being fully developed," Ianto replied. 

Alicia nodded, then fell silent. 

Ianto shifts and said, "Can we talk, cariad?" 

"About what?" she asked, flatly. 

"About what happened in the range," Ianto replied. 

"Sure," she said. 

The answer was also flat. She was still cross. "I'm sorry for what I suggested. I should've been more understanding of what all these attempts at equilibrium have caused you." 

After a few minutes, Alicia said, "I was partly angry at myself and taking it out on you. I'm sorry for that." 

"Why were you angry with yourself?" he asked, confused. 

"Because after you suggested it, I did think it was a good idea," Alicia said, rolling her eyes. "After I just got done with this huge speech about not wanting to make things equal and being okay with things the way they were... I thought we were just falling into old habits and that you were instigating that. It took me a bit to realize you weren't."

She stood up from her chair and sat down in his lap. "All this time with just the two of us, it has been nice." 

He smiled at her. "It has."

"It's not that I mind time with all three of us, I love it, but sometimes I feel like we don't get this one on one time a lot, and when we do, it does seem like you and I get it more often than you and Jack do, or that Jack and I do." 

Ianto considered that for a moment and nodded slowly. "You know, you are right. I think it's just the nature of the schedule though." 

She agreed. "It is. And even though I just got done talking about how things don't need to be even, I do think that we all need more one on one time with each other. Like, I've really loved this time we've had together, and I'm going to miss it." 

"I'm going to miss it too. What do you say we make more of an effort to have one on one time? Not in an egalitarian way, but just in general?" 

"I think I like the sound of that," Alicia said, smiling. She put her arms around his neck. "I'm sorry I lost it on you like that." 

"It's all right, I should've been more sensitive to what you'd been going through," he replied. He lowered his head to lick her shoulder. "While I have you all to myself, I'd like to negotiate slipping deep into that gorgeous arse of yours, counselor..." 

With a giggle, she said, "Down boy, let me unwind first." 

"I think an orgasm or two could help with that," Ianto replied. "We could try to break our record of five..." 

"Doesn't work that way for me." She reached for the remote control. "I just need to watch like one episode of Star Trek and I'll be good. My brain will just keep going and going and I won't be able to turn it off and that won't turn me on." 

She flipped on the telly and began cycling through menus to get to the episode she wanted. Her face fell and Ianto sat down next to her. "You all right?" 

"No, not really," she said, sighing. She waved at the folder. "I just keep thinking about Ben and how I can barely look at him." 

"I know it's hard," he replied. "It'll get better when we talk to him." 

Alicia turned down the volume and set the remote down. "I know you and Jack were leaning towards that, but are you sure that's the right play here? We don't have much more information than we did before. All those letters are telling us is what Ben's telling them. And since it's all about our lives, we know all of it already. Don't you think it'd be better to dangle him out there?" She gestured at the folder. "We can use this. This is a huge opportunity here for counter intelligence. Ben is typing the letters and printing them out downstairs. You know how easy it would be to falsify that?" 

"You're forgetting Patanjali. They're reporting on separate things now, but if Ben presents contradictory information, it could endanger his position. Plus, it's easier for us to use him for counter-intelligence if he's in the know," Ianto said.

"I used to work at the CIA, Ianto. I know what I'm talking about," Alicia said, rolling her eyes. "Turning an enemy's asset into our asset can be a huge game changer, but if it goes sideways, we're fucked. Up the ass. With a chainsaw. I don't think he can handle that level of pressure. He's already cracking. We know who and we know how and knowing is half the battle." 

Ianto said, "I thought you were an analyst at the CIA." 

She didn't answer him and said, "He's already in really deep with Frobisher. Turning him doesn't dig him out. It digs him in deeper-a lot deeper-and we won't know whether that hole he's standing in is his own grave until it's too late." 

He frowned at her. "There are questions only he can answer, Alicia. We'll have a better idea of where we stand once we talk to him. If we can get him to our side of things, all the better." 

She gave him a look and turned on the television. "Have you even thought about the possibility Ben might say no? What happens then?" 

Ianto stayed silent, because he didn't have an answer. 

 


	19. Chapter 19

 

The next evening in their lounge, Jack was sitting up slightly in bed. Ianto was sitting in the arm chair, smiling fondly at him and Alicia. What Ianto had said regarding the schedule was true, the three of them rarely had the same day off together. As a general rule, couples were permitted at least one day off together, but for some unknown reason, Ianto nor Jack hadn't taken that into account when Alicia had become a serious part of their relationship. They’d continued to schedule only two of them off at the same time, alternating as best they could. It had taken minor reworking, but now the three of them had one day off together every other week. 

This was the first of those days and they were playing with the baby, in a manner of speaking. Jack pushed his fingers into his belly and then Alicia set a book onto it. Anwen would protest the poke by kicking and knocking the book off, much to everyone's amusement. 

His belly rippled and Jack said, "She shifted." 

He pushed the flat of his hand into his belly and pointed to the side, "I think her arm's here now." 

He pressed his two fingers into where he'd felt the hard bump and was rewarded with a jab. "Yup, that's her elbow." He repeated the motion and Alicia set the book there. A few seconds later, the book jumped and landed on the bed. The three of them erupted into laughter.  

Alicia set the book onto Jack's belly again, giggling. "This is great! I mean, I know we're technically bugging her, but this is hilarious."

"We're not. If we were annoying her, she'd let me know. She'd dig her heel into my ribs or punch me in the kidney or something like that," Jack said, rolling his eyes. 

"Ouch," Ianto said, laughing. "I know I've said it before, but it's surreal watching her move in there. Must feel quite bizarre." 

Jack nodded. "It's one of those things that's amazing at first, but gets old quick. Right now, it's not my body, it's her's. You get used to it, but it happens at the worst times. It's kind of like really bad wind with a mind of its own."

He gently ran his hand over his tummy. Our special time together's almost up, little one. Not long now. Papa's gonna miss you, but I can't wait to meet you.

As if he'd read Jack's mind, Ianto asked, "Did you talk to Gwen and Rhys?"

"They've set their guest room up for me. They said I can stay as long as I want." He hadn't wanted to intrude, but Gwen had admitted she'd felt quite lost without her own mother and would need someone close by who'd done all this before. 

There was a light knock on the door and Ianto stood up to open it. It was Martha with her medical bag. 

"Knock, knock," she said, smiling. 

"Martha Jones, voice of a nightingale!" Jack said, brightly. 

"How we feeling?" she asked, smiling. 

"No change," Jack said. 

Alicia picked up the book and said, "Hey, Martha, check it."

Jack pushed on his belly and then Alicia laid the book down. There was a sharp jab from the inside and the book toppled off. Martha laughed. She gently rubbed Jack's belly. "Getting curious about the outside world, eh?"

As she began examining Jack, a frown spread. She wrapped the blood pressure cuff around his arm. "Your ankles are more swollen." 

"Probably because I'm not laying down all the way. They swell up pretty fast," Jack said with a shrug. He put his hand up and said, "I know that's not good." 

"Well, this is worse," she said, taking the stethoscope out of her ears. "One thirty-five over one hundred." 

Ianto sat up with alarm. "That's higher." 

"Do you have a headache?" Martha asked. 

Jack shook his head. "No, not at all. I feel fine." 

Martha jerked her head towards the small washroom. "Sample, if you please." 

As Jack tried to shift towards the edge of the bed, Alicia and Ianto moved to help him. Once they'd hoisted him to his feet, he waddled towards the washroom. There were cups and test strips in there perpetually. It took him a few seconds of fumbling around his belly to produce the sample. He washed his hands and then stepped back out into the lounge. 

"There you go," he said. He stretched upwards.  

She pointed at the bed. "You lay back down." 

Ianto stood in the doorway, watching her as she dumped the urine over the strip. "And the verdict?" 

"Still trace, so that's something," Martha said. She removed her gloves and binned the strip. With her hands on her hips, she said, "But I'm sorry, Jack, but I think we've come to the end of the line." 

"Well, all good things," Jack said, sadly.

She turned to Ianto and said, "Do you mind prepping the medical bay while I ring Miranda?"

Jack said, "Hey, hey, wait! Can we at least wait until tomorrow morning?”

Martha put down her mobile and said, "Jack, we've delayed this enough." 

Jack wrapped his arms protectively around his belly. "First thing in the morning?” 

Ianto put his hand on Martha's shoulder. "I think we can wait until morning, besides, the surgery will be safer if he's fasted." 

Martha looked from Jack to Ianto and back again. She rolled her eyes slightly and said, "All right. Bright and early. No food or water starting now. I want you hooked up to continuous monitoring. It goes up any higher, we’re taking her out. Clear?”

"Crystal," Jack said, nodding. 

Martha smiled at them all and said, “Six in the morning I want you down in medical bay,” she said, walking to the door. “I’m going to ring Miranda.”

She paused as she passed Ianto. “Even with Miranda, I going to need you to assist.”

Ianto nodded. Once Martha was gone, he said, “Do you want us to stay in here with you?”

Jack shook his head. “I’m fine, Yan. You both get some rest, okay?”

Ianto smiled and said, "All right."

Alicia took Ianto by the arm and said, “We’ll be just in there if you need us.”

He'd started out the day glad the three of them were spending time together, but now he wanted to be alone. This pregnancy was coming to an end and he wanted to cope privately for now. He was grateful both of his partners realized that. 

Jack had been in remarkable control of much of this process, unlike his first surrogacy. That first time, he'd signed a contract, and with it, he'd surrendered the rights to his body. In commercial surrogacy, surrogates were nothing more than numbers and incubators. He'd even had to live in a dormitory with other surrogates. By and large, they were treated well and compensated handsomely, but only when the situation was relatively simple.

He’d witnessed first hand what had happened to other surrogates when complications began. Drugs were given to protect the health of the fetus. Unless a side effect endangered the surrogate's capabilities as an incubator, they were considered a non-issue. Their well being was only in terms of the baby and the paying customers, and the surrogates were replaceable. If serious complications arose or if the surrogates themselves became difficult, the fetus was removed and placed in someone else. It wasn't preferred, but Jack had seen it done with enough frequency that his advice to new surrogates on his floor had been to keep their mouths shut and their heads down. 

One of the people on Jack's floor had temporarily lost his vision due to a drug side effect. Since it didn't endanger the fetus, or the surrogate's general health in terms of carrying that fetus, it didn't matter to the medical staff. You don't need to see to incubate a baby. The drug was the best to treat the complication, so no other medication was considered. One morning, the young man simply wasn't at breakfast. He'd heard the contract had been terminated when the surrogate had become overly aggressive in his complaints. The company had moved the fetus to another surrogate. When a contract was terminated, the compensation was also greatly reduced, justified by the added expense of moving the fetus to another person. Afterwards, Jack had heard rumors that the young man's sight had never returned. He'd also heard the former surrogate had had to get elective eye replacement at his own cost, meaning he'd barely broken even. If the contract hadn't been terminated, the surrogacy company would've done it for free, as they agreed to reverse all complications to the best of their ability. 

But his situation now was entirely different. Here, in the twenty-first century, there was no surrogate to take his place. It was him or delivering the baby. There was no middle ground, so Jack had fought to keep this going as long as he could, because he knew what a difficult future Anwen had in front of her. She would need every advantage. 

When Jack had first met Gwen and Rhys, there’d been no question where their daughter had gotten her fortitude. As one of the first pioneers of the solar system, Colonel Anwen Mary Cooper Williams went down in history as one of the greatest women to have ever lived. During her first expedition to Saturn, a microasteroid shower had damaged her ship. Thanks to Colonel Williams, all ten of her crew survived with only minor injuries. Each of her expeditions had experienced a catastrophe, but each time thanks to Anwen, everyone had survived. But on the final expedition, the crew returned... and she did not. The damaged life support system couldn't sustain all ten people. But it would sustain nine. 

After recording a message to her family and while her crew slept, Colonel Anwen Mary Cooper Williams blew herself out of an airlock. 

Jack ran his hand over his belly and swallowed hard, not knowing how he would be able to survive that day when it came. The information Colonel Williams and her expeditions bring back is vital to the success of the Lunar and Martian colonies, and help push humanity into interstellar space. Knowing how necessary it was didn't alleviate the pain that his baby girl would die in the vast nothingness of space-cold and alone.

He hugged his belly tightly. Right now, you're safe and warm...

Jack fought back tears. Despite his endless whinging during every stage of this pregnancy, he didn't want this to be over yet. 

Now that their game with the book was over, Anwen had settled, but had developed the hiccups. He let out a low chuckle with each tiny jump he felt accompany the hiccups. With his arms wrapped around his belly, he rolled to his left side. It was the side where he was the least comfortable, but it was better for the baby. To his delight, the small hiccups continued and he let the adorable feeling lull him towards sleep.

Tired, he said, "Our time's almost up. Let's make the most of it and rest up, because being born's hard work. Good night, my little leaf. I'll see you tomorrow on the outside."

* * *

It was bright and early when everyone concerned arrived at the Hub to prepare for the birth or to watch. Even Henry and Fish, who both had the day off, had come in to lend their support. Ianto stood at the sink, washing his hands, while Steven finished setting up the autopsy bay.

He looked over his shoulder and said, "Thanks for helping out with this, Steven." 

The young man grinned. "How many times in my life am I going to get to see a cis-man give birth?" 

"Have you heard from that nursing course yet?" Ianto asked. 

"No, not until June," Steven said, nervous. 

"I'm sure you'll be selected. He's a natural, isn't he, Doctor Jones?" Ianto said, accepting the sterile towel from Miranda. He dried his hands and then donned the gown and gloves. 

Martha laughed and said, "He is. Didn't want to be a doctor, eh?"

"I wanted more one-on-one interaction with patients," Steven replied. Then, slightly annoyed, he said with seriousness, "And being a nurse isn't a consolation prize, you know."

Martha smiled and nodded, "You are very correct, it is not. My apologies. You're going to do great. You set this up very professional, you did. Got a real eye for the detail."

"Can we do this? It's not like I enjoy being numb from the waist down," Jack said, rolling his eyes. 

Everyone laughed. Martha turned to Ianto and said, "Excellent epidural placement, by the way, Ianto." 

"Thank you, and thank you, Mandy, for walking me through it,” he said, smiling. 

He picked up a sterile towel to accept the baby and Miranda winked at him over her mask. He would be seeing to the baby immediately after she was born. 

"Everyone ready?" Martha asked, brightly. "Starting incision..."

Fish, Henry, Hart, and Ben were watching from the railing with interest. 

Alicia squeezed Jack's hand, grinned and said, "Oh, this is so exciting!" 

"Congratulations on getting to thirty eight weeks, by the way, Jack," Martha said as she started the incision. 

"I still think I could've made it to thirty nine," Jack said with a wink.

"Well, your blood pressure went up and we can't have that, now, can we?" Martha said, winking back. 

"Couldn't have done it without you ladies," Jack said, smiling. He looked over his head at Gwen and Rhys. "You two ready?" 

They both nodded, grinning behind their masks. After years of trying and unimaginable heartbreak, the moment they'd waited and prayed and hoped for was finally here. 

"Hand me that retractor please, Miranda?" Martha asked. 

Miranda handed over the large metal device and Martha slipped it into the incision. With a smile she said, "Starting uterine incision..." 

A gush of fluid spilled onto the floor. Steven had been watching closely, with interest. As the fluid splattered, he took a few steps back. "Woah! Yuck!" 

"Little amniotic fluid never hurt anyone," Miranda said, winking at Steven. She suctioned around Martha's hands. "You'll get used to it." 

"I've got her," Martha said. 

She pulled and Anwen's head appeared out of the incision. 

"Good Lord!" Henry exclaimed. "How extraordinary!" 

Fish glanced at his husband. "You've never seen anything like this before have you?" 

Henry shook his head. "No. Childbirth has been the sole domain of women for most of my life. I feel most privileged to be permitted to observe." 

Martha nodded at Miranda who was standing in a better spot. "Would you do the honors, please, Doctor Ryan?"

"I'd indeed, be honored, Doctor Jones," Miranda said with a grin. She slipped her fingers underneath Anwen's shoulder and pulled the baby free. Anwen's cry of surprise was instantaneous, occasionally interrupted by Miranda suctioning the fluid from her nose and mouth. 

"Hello, little one. Welcome to the world of the living. May the Gods above smile and may the Gods below tremble," Miranda said. She stomped her foot on the floor six times. 

"Superstition from your culture, Miranda?" Rhys asked.

Miranda shrugged. "I don't remember, to be honest. It simply came to me, and it can't hurt anything." 

"True," he replied, smiling. "God, she's so beautiful!" 

Ianto swiftly stepped forward, putting Anwen into the towel. Miranda passed the suction device to him and he continued to clear the baby's mouth and nose as he wiped.

"She's covered in muck and blood and she's beautiful. Imagine how gorgeous she's going to be when we smarten her up a bit," Steven said, grinning. He stepped to help Ianto. "Great job, Uncle Jack."

"Well, I had good genes to work with," Jack joked. Alicia leaned down, wiping a tear before it hit his ear, then wiped one from her own face.

Martha held up the artery clamp, but looked over to Gwen and Rhys, "You all want me to wait right?"

They nodded and Martha waited. 

"Wait? Why?" Steven asked. 

"Delaying the clamping of the cord after birth has been show to help anemia, especially in preterm infants. Anwen's full term, but waiting a few minutes can't hurt anything. Some wait until the cord stops pulsing, some wait a set amount of time. I did some research and I decided on three minutes," Martha said, watching the clock. 

"Do I get to cut it?" Rhys asked, eagerly.

"Hell yes," Martha said, winking. "Give me a minute. It's a bit crowded around this table. I'm going to deliver the placenta, then Ianto and Steven will move her to that side table to clean her up more. You can cut it then."

Martha turned from the clock once the three minutes had passed. She clamped the cord, then tugged on it. 

Steven frowned. "You're just yanking it out?"

"Yup. It comes free pretty easily. Come over here with that bowl, please, Steven." 

The expression on Steven's face turned into a pale grimace as Martha hoisted the bloody, dripping placenta and dumped it, unceremoniously, into the bowl. Amniotic fluid and blood splattered Steven's arms and chest. 

"Oh, yuck!" Steven exclaimed. 

"Welcome to medicine," Martha said with a wink. "Glamorous, ain't it?"

"You guys, leave him alone," Jack said. 

His voice sounded distant and slightly slurred. Ianto knew Jack well enough to know something was wrong. He looked up from cleaning the baby and glanced at the monitors. Jack's blood pressure was low. "Jack? You feel all right?" 

"Fine," Jack said, slightly slurred. "These pain killers are great..." 

It didn't sound like pain killers talking to Ianto's experience ear. It sounded like he was-

“Jack, this artificial womb is bleeding. A lot,” Martha said, frustrated.

"Goddess below!" Miranda swore. She began handing instruments to Martha, frantically. 

"I think one side of the placenta was attached a little too deeply and those blood thinners we had you on are not helping this situation." 

She pushed her arm into Jack's abdomen and muttered, "Shit."   

Miranda leaned over and turned up the fluids as a monitor began to blare. "His blood pressure's falling more." 

"I can't get this bleeding under control," Martha said, sounding urgent. 

After a few more minutes of fiddling with clamps and the cautery, Martha said, "I’m performing a hysterectomy.”

"No... don't..." Jack slurred. 

His eyes fluttered shut and Alicia cried, "Jack? Jack!" 

When Martha reaching for the instruments, Miranda reached across and seized her hand. “Don't! He said no, Martha!” 

“The patient's consent doesn't matter when they're bleeding out!” she cried. 

“It doesn’t matter!” Miranda insisted. She waved at the side table where Ianto and Steven were cleaning the baby. Rhys was standing with a scissor in his hand. "Anwen is delivered and safe. If you remove the artificial womb, we don't know what will happen. It might not regenerate and we don't have the technology to create a new one. You'll destroy his ability to carry children." 

"After all that's happened, I'd say pregnancy's contraindicated for him now!" Martha snapped, sternly. She tried to throw off Miranda's grip.

Ianto could see Martha was in medical damage control mode. He said, "It's all right, Martha. The baby's safe. He'll come back. Let him go." 

Ianto saw her wrestle with it silently, then clench her jaw and step back, curling her hands into fists to prevent them from action. He could see the tremendous effort it took for her to step away from a patient she knew she could save with a simple procedure. It must've taken an extraordinary amount of will for her to let Jack simply die, but she did. Her hands shaking, Martha took another step back as Jack's life blood began to pour out of the incision. She clenched her hands into fists as Jack's heart rate slowed, even half leaned towards the table before catching herself. The monitors' alarms blared and beeped, screaming to be heard. But Martha reached over and turned the sound off, then watched as the line went flat.

Unsteady, she said, "Hand me the suction. If I close him up properly, he won't take as long to heal and revive."

Miranda nodded. "I'll help you." 

Ianto smiled as he swaddled the infant. With the baby in his arms, Ianto turned. He saw Ben wander back to his desk and said, "You're up Gwen. I think she's hungry already. Do you want to feed her in here or up in the Hub?" 

"Upstairs on the sofa, if that's all right," Gwen said.

She pulled off the disposable gown and dropped it into the bin. Before moving away, both she and Rhys stepped to Jack and rested a hand briefly on his shoulder. 

Ianto went to follow her, but saw Steven out of the corner of his eye. The young man was standing, statuesque, staring at Jack and the monitors. Ianto transferred the baby to Alicia's arms. "Take her to Gwen." 

Alicia nodded and walked up the stairs, cooing at the baby the entire time. Ianto put a hand on Steven's shoulder. "Hey? You all right?" 

"He's really... dead?" 

"Yes he is," Ianto said. He crossed to the monitors and turned them off as fast as he could. 

"He's really going to come back to life?" Steven asked. 

"Yes, he is," Ianto promised. 

"What's happening to him?" Steven asked. "Does it hurt?" 

"He was anesthetized," Ianto insisted. "He didn't feel any pain." 

"Does he know what's going on right now?" Steven asked. 

"No, he doesn't," Ianto replied. 

Steven took a step forward, and put his hand on Jack's foot. "How... how do you know he'll come back?"

"He always does," Ianto replied. 

"But... what if one day he doesn't?" Steven asked, tears swimming in his eyes.

Ianto pulled Steven to him, hugging him. "He's always come back, but I won't lie to you, Steven, every time he dies, there's a chance he won't. We just have to wait, and hope. If one day he doesn't, it'll break my heart, but I'll be happy he's finally found peace."

Steven nodded and walked over to Jack. He slipped his hand into Jack's and sat down in Alicia's vacant seat. 

Ianto walked past Miranda and leaned, switching to Latin, he said, "Don't forget the sedative in his heart. I don't want him to see Jack revive badly." 

"It's okay," Steven said, squeezing Jack's hand. "Henry told me it can get pretty violent." 

All three people stared at Steven in astonishment. Miranda gasped, "How did you..." 

"Henry's been teaching me. He says Latin will help me with my nursing studies," Steven replied. 

Ianto smiled and clapped Steven on the shoulder. "It will. I'm going to go check on Anwen and Gwen. You two all right?"

"We're good here, Ifan," Miranda said, handing Martha another length of suture.

Martha nodded. "I'm going to get him sewn up as fast as I can, then we'll clean him up. I want to examine Anwen."

Ianto pulled off his disposable things and binned then. When he got to the top of the stairs, he could see Gwen with Anwen in her arms. The baby was suckling while Gwen rocked her gently. She was unwrapped and Gwen didn't have a shirt on, so they could have skin contact, but they were both covered in a brightly colored length of cloth Ianto assumed Gwen had bought for this purpose. 

"Now there's a sight," Ianto said, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around Alicia. 

Rhys turned and put his arms around them both. "We don't know how to thank all of you." He paused and asked, "How is he?"

"Still down, but he'll be fine," Ianto said, softly. He stepped towards Gwen and gently touched the baby's head. "Look at all that hair. Does that feel okay? Is she latched properly?"

Gwen nodded. "I suppose she is. I can't feel a thing, really. They say you shouldn't if it's properly done."

"That doesn't hurt?" Alicia asked. 

Gwen shook her head. "Nope, not at all. I'm glad to be done with that bloody pump. That's what hurt!" She looked to Ianto. "How's Jack?" 

"He's still down. He'll be fine soon," Ianto said, smiling gently. 

"Jack asked if he could stay for a while and help out. We've the guest room all set up for him," Rhys said, clapping his hand on Ianto's shoulder. "He can stay as long as he likes. Any of you can. Bed might be cramped with three though." 

Ianto smiled and nodded. "Thank you, Rhys." 

"Gwennie and I weren't just saying all that, Ianto," Rhys said, wiping a tear from his eye. "Look at how beautiful she is. I'll be beating them away from her with a stick, I will. We'll need all the help we can get."

Ianto blinked, tears in his eyes. "She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

Alicia sobbed, "It really is a miracle. Two little cells became a whole person."

He turned to Alicia and asked a silent question with his eyes. To his surprise, she swallowed hard and nodded, then smiled. She mouthed, "We'll all talk later." 

Ianto nodded, turning back when he heard the baby let out a small squeak. Gwen lifted the baby to Rhys and let her father gently rock and pat at her back. 

"Oh, she's so tiny," Rhys said, looking nervous. "I'm afraid I'll break her!" 

Henry stepped forward, his rosary in his hand. He turned to Gwen. "If you have no objection?" 

Rhys and Gwen both shook their heads. Gwen said, "We're not the church going type, but we plan to have a christening." 

He laid his hand on the baby's head. "May the Lord bless and keep you, child." 

As Henry removed his hand, Anwen let out such a loud belch Ianto could scarcely believe such a small baby had produced it. Everyone began to laugh. 

"Wow, Anwen, tell us what you really feel," Fish said, laughing. 

"She's saying she's well fed," Martha said, stepping into the room with Miranda behind her. 

Rhys laid the baby into Henry's arms. 

"You're better at that than I am," Rhys commented. 

Henry shrugged as he began to gently sway. "I've a bit of practice, nothing more." He ran his hand over Anwen's head. "So much hair. My Thomas was quite bald as an baby." 

Martha turned to Alicia and Ianto. "Jack's with Steven." 

Ianto nodded. "I'll go see to him." 

Martha shook her head and put her hand on his arm. "Steven wants to sit with him, alone." 

Ianto craned his neck to the autopsy bay. It had always been his job to sit with Jack. It was something special the two men shared. Ianto felt protectiveness and jealousy rise up, along with dread. He also didn't want Steven to see Jack revive. 

"I gave him a small sedative dose," Miranda said, reassuringly. "He'll revive and immediately become groggy, but it's not enough to knock him back unconscious. He'll be fine, Ifan." 

"Jack won't want Steven seeing that," Ianto said. 

Miranda nodded. "But it will help Jack to understand that nothing has changed with his grandson's love for him."

Reluctantly, Ianto admitted she had a point. He turned back to the others, watching as Anwen passed from one person to the next. Gwen craned her neck and said, "Oi! Ben! Get your arse in here!"

"This is still a workday for some of us," he shouted back.

Ianto turned and said, "Ben, you can take five minutes and meet the baby."

Without looking up, he replied, "I'm not really a baby person."

Fish said, "The rift will mind itself for a minute or two."

Succumbing to the pressure, Ben stood and dragged himself over. He looked out of place as Alicia put the baby into his arms.

"There we go," she said, smiling. She ran his fingers over Anwen's forehead. 

Rhys said, "Anwen, this man saved your Mum's life."

Ben stammered, "I didn't..."

Gwen said, "Yes you did, that night the blowfish stole that car. You pulled me out of the way before he smeared me all over the roadway!"

"I..." Ben said, swallowing hard. He looked down at the baby and then turned to the others. After gently placing her in Martha's arms, he said, "I've got work." 

As he walked away, he muttered, "Congratulations."

Gwen gave Ianto a frustrated look, and all he could do is shrug at her. The minute Ben was seated again at his computer, Jack and Steven walked over to them. Steven helped Jack sit down on the sofa next to Gwen.

She threw her arms around Jack and said, "Oh thank God."

Jack gave a fake laugh and patted her back. "It was nothing."

Rhys bent down held out Anwen. "Don't talk like that. It was everything. Here, go on."

Jack put up his hand. "It's all right. I carried her for thirty-eight weeks and change. It's you guys' turn now."

Gwen glared at him as she took her daughter from Rhys and placed her in Jack's arms. "That kind of talk is a bag of wank, that is.” 

Rhys smiled and put his hand on Jack’s shoulder. “Guest room’s all set for you.” He turned to Ianto and Alicia, and said, “I already told Ianto the bed might be tight with three but you’re all welcome.”

Ianto an Alicia smiled and said, “We probably won’t stay overnight, but we'll work out a rota to stop in and help out during the day.”

Rhys ran his hand over Anwen’s head. “We’ll take all the help we can get."

Jack turned to Gwen and placed Anwen in her arms, as she said, "We're going to take her home, get her settled in. Fish, do you mind helping Rhys out with the car seat? It's so bloody complicated, we need an engineer to help us, we reckon."

Steven stepped forward and said, "I help Mum put my brother into the car all the time."

"I don't think Alice and I bought the same one," Gwen said, frowning.

"I'm certain we can sort it," Henry said.

Steven turned to Jack and said, "Do you need me to help you downstairs, Uncle, Jack?"

Jack shook his head. "I have to pack."

Sternly, Steven said, "I think you need to rest."

Miranda and Martha both nodded. The former said, "Jack, you've been through an ordeal. I know you're alive, but you're not well. You should eat something and rest."

“Miranda's got a point, Jack. Looking a might bit peaky, you are. You should rest up now. There’s not going to be much of that from here on out," Rhys said.

Jack shook his head. "I'll be fine."

Gwen said, sternly, "Resting up is what you'll be doing, Jack. This one's going to need us all at our best. She deserves nothing less and she's not going to be going anywhere while you have a kip. So you march yourself downstairs and get some rest." 

Ianto smothered a grin at the look on Jack's face. "She's right, cariad. You get leave, the same as anyone who's given birth. So how about Alicia and I pack you a case, and you go and take as much of it as you want." 

Jack nodded and looked around the Hub. "I'll be back." 

"I'll hold down the fort until you do," Ianto said. 

 


	20. Chapter 20

 

It was mid-afternoon when Ianto and Alicia arrived at Gwen and Rhys's flat.  In the past two months, the five of them had settled into a comfortable routine when it came to caring for Anwen. Rhys, Ianto, and Alicia's job was to make sure the only thing Gwen and Jack needed to focus on was Anwen. Ianto and Alicia stopped by twice a week. They handled almost all of the housework and shopping, keeping the flat clean and the pantry stocked. 

Rhys had texted their shopping list to Ianto that morning, as he often did. They let themselves in, and after putting away all the groceries, they dug into the housework. They were surprised to find the flat quiet. Anwen had developed painful wind and reflux that meant she was frequently uncomfortable and crying. Jack, Rhys, or Gwen would have to walk around the flat with her in their arms for her to sleep which meant they got little to no sleep themselves. Gwen had begun an elimination diet, removing foods one by one to see if one of them was the cause of her daughter's discomfort. Currently, she was incapable of eating tomatoes, or dairy products in any amounts. Things had improved but not as much as anyone would like. Gwen has moved on to eliminating soy and Ianto had to check the shopping for it as he bought things. 

He was continually amazed at how much care an infant required. Not only was Anwen being fed every few hours, round the clock, and crying frequently, the reflux meant she needed to be kept upright after eating to prevent her being sick. She was still spitting up often and soiling clothing at an alarming rate. When Ianto had mentioned it to his sister, Rhiannon had suggested copious amounts of bibs. Ianto had gone out and purchased as many as the local Poundland had had. Gwen had nearly wept with relief. Changing out a bib was far easier than changing Anwen entirely. 

Ianto was clearing out the fridge of old food and wasn't surprised there was little to discard. It was nothing short of astonishing how much food Gwen consumed. She was now competing with Miranda and Jack for biggest Torchwood glutton. What also shocked Ianto was that Gwen was also losing weight despite the stomach churning amount of food she was eating. With the reflux, Anwen was spitting up just as much as she was eating, but Gwen was keeping up in spectacular fashion. Anwen was growing like a weed. 

As Ianto turned to the rest of the kitchen, Alicia went in search of the hoover. Both knew from experience it wouldn't wake anyone. After discovering the dishwasher was nearly full, he set it to run, then turned to the large pile of bottles and pumping supplies that Gwen would not permit in the dishwasher. Once those things were washed and drying, he began cleaning the worktop and sink. By the time he’d finished with the floor, the sound of the hoover stopped. Ianto went out into the lounge and sat down to sort the post. 

Ianto knew Rhys liked to keep a clean and tidy home, and the chores falling on Ianto and Alicia had been a blow to his pride, but the man was simply too exhausted. Despite Gwen and Jack switching off with Anwen, her crying still kept Rhys awake. 

“I still can't believe that doesn't wake anyone up,” Alicia said, quietly.

“Exhausted, they are,” Ianto said. "If they didn't wake with the hoover, you probably don't have to whisper." 

Alicia picked up the lamp from the side table. "The dust isn't bad." 

Ianto leaned and looked. "I just did it on Monday." 

"I can't believe they got Anwen to sleep in her crib," she said. 

"I know," Ianto replied. "Maybe cutting out the soy too was the final trick." 

"Did Jack leave the laundry in the hallway?" she asked. 

"He usually does," Ianto replied and Alicia went to look. He said, a little louder, "I didn't check the machine." 

Alicia returned with a basket of soiled laundry. Most of it was bibs, but there were several onesies and some other outfits. She went into the kitchen and said, "Yes, the machine's full. I'll start folding it." 

"Okay," Ianto said. After he'd binned the junk, he thought he heard the sound of Anwen fussing. Gwen had her daughter on a tight schedule, finding it worked better for everyone. She was also breastfeeding, which meant no one else could feed Anwen but Gwen. To give Gwen a single block of longer sleep, she had sacrificed a single feeding in the middle of the day. A quick glance at the clock told Ianto it was not a normal feeding time and Anwen was likely fussing for a reason other than food. 

Moving quickly, he headed for the nursery, hoping to sooth the infant before Gwen or Jack woke.

To his surprise, he nearly bumped into Jack in the hallway with his hand on the nursery door. 

"Oh, hi Yan," he said, craning his neck. "When'd you get here? Alicia with you?”

Ianto nodded and replied, softly, "We just did a bit of tidying up. We were running the hoover." He smiled. Jack hadn't heard the hoover but he'd heard Anwen's quiet fussing. "You didn't hear?" 

He shook his head. "Nope." 

Leaning into Anwen's room, he said, "Where's the hamper? Alicia took the basket you left out here. May as well empty it too.”

Jack jerked his head back. "It's in here. Rhys bought another basket. Let me get to her before she gets louder and wakes Gwen. She can hear her even through the earplugs."

While Jack changed Anwen, Ianto grabbed the hamper and dumped it into the new laundry basket. Ianto replaced the hamper and then put the basket in the kitchen. Alicia was folding the items straight from the machine. Her eyes widened at the new basket. "Holy shit..." 

"I know," Ianto said. 

Alicia said, "Is it odd I don't mind the baby puke smell?" 

Ianto found the smell oddly nice as well. He winked at her, and as he went back to the lounge, said, "Nope." 

When Jack emerged, he had Anwen in his arms. The baby was blinking at Ianto sleepily and Jack rested his hand gently on Anwen's head. "She had a back end blow out too. It got all up in her hair yesterday. Gwen didn't even bother trying to save the clothes or the bedding."

Ianto asked, "Why was she fussing? Do you think she’s hungry early? Another growth spurt?”

"No, she was wet. She doesn't like a soggy bottom," Jack replied.

"Who does?" Ianto joked and both men laughed.

Jack walked into the lounge and laid down on the sofa with Anwen on his bare chest. Ianto watched as her eyes magically fluttered shut. "She’s gotten used to being with someone all the time. She doesn't like being in her room alone, but Gwen needs to sleep. She was waking up at every little noise she was making."

"What about you?" Ianto asked.

"I get way more sleep than Gwen does," Jack said, with a snort. He gently ran his fingers over Anwen's back. "And I like spending time with her."

Alicia stuck her head out of the kitchen. "Ianto? Where's the extra laundry soap?"

"Under the sink," he replied.

The sound of the cupboard door opening reached his ears. She called out, "There isn't any."

Jack lifted his head, trying to twist it towards her. "Oh no, I forgot to tell Rhys we were out."

Alicia stepped into the lounge, collecting her purse and holding her hand out for the car keys. "I'll go get some."

"Make sure you get the baby one that Gwen likes," Ianto said, placing the keys in her outstretched hand.

"I'll text you a picture before I buy it," she replied.

Once she was gone, Jack and Ianto fell into silence, listening to Anwen breathe. Ianto took out his mobile and snapped a few pictures. "She's gorgeous."

"Eyes just like her mother," Jack said, softly. "Though she looks more and more like Rhys every day."

The baby let out a light, content sigh and Ianto smiled. "Now that sounded like you."

"Nothing of me in here, Ianto," Jack said. He rested his hand on the baby's back and rubbed gently. 

"I beg to differ," Ianto replied. "Every molecule that made her little body passed through you. You're where her soul took root. I think that means there's a great deal of you in there."

For a few minutes, he admired the sight of Jack with the small two month old. Anwen had filled out and had started holding her head up on her own. Since he and Alicia went days without seeing her, Anwen's changes were more apparent to them. To Ianto's eye, she looked larger than only a few days ago and her face had changed dramatically. Rhys had informed him he was taking a picture of his daughter every single day to track the change. He planned to make a montage of the photos someday. 

After clearing his throat, Ianto said, "I know you don’t want to talk shop since you’re on leave, but I’m at a loss of what to do.”

A concerned look came over Jack's face. “What’s going on, Ianto?”

"I know before Anwen was born, we decided we wanted to confront Ben, I'm just not sure how I want to go about it. I'm taking this all very personally. I can't decide on how hard or soft I want to do it." He let out a soft sigh. "Or if I want to do it at all."

"What? Why?" Jack asked. "It's the only option we have left, Yan. I thought we'd decided on this months ago."

"Alicia said something that got to me... that maybe Ben would say no. She asked what I’d do then and I’ve been trying to sort that ever since,” Ianto said. 

"That's a possibility, but there's nothing we can do for him. I mean, we can retcon him, and relocate him, but beyond that there isn’t much we can do,” Jack said, shrugging. 

A shift from Anwen interrupted him. The baby wriggled and let out an upset squeak. She blinked her eyes at Jack who patted her back and said, “Okay Little Leaf, sit tight. We’ll get you something to eat.” He turned to Ianto and said, "Now she's hungry." 

Ianto stood and said, “I’ve no idea how you can tell the difference. It all sounds the same to me. I'll get her a bottle. This is the feeding Gwen skips, right?"

Jack twisted his head to look at the clock. "What time is it? Yeah, it is." He settled back down and said, "They all sound a little different. The squeaking means hungry. The 'uhn-uhn' kind of grunting means it's the nappy," Jack said. He smiled at her. "Alice used to do the same sort of noises."

Ianto ran the tap until the water was hot, then filled the bottle warmer. Opening the fridge, he selected one of the bottles and switched out the lid for a nipple. After dumping the bottle into the warmer, he asked, “You want anything while I’m up, Jack?”

“Glass of water’d be great, thanks, Yan,” Jack said. 

Ianto heard footsteps and assumed he was changing Anwen. The amount of nappies was absolutely staggering. Every week, he and Alicia were bringing over a box and Jack often went out in the middle of the night for emergency runs. 

Ianto took the bottle out of the warmer and dried it. He shook it lightly to redistribute the thick layer of fat. 

When he stepped into the lounge with the warm bottle, Jack held out his hand for it. Ianto shook his head and held out his own hand. "I'd like to." 

Jack smiled and stood. Once Ianto was seated, he placed the baby in his arms. Ianto had done this plenty of times before. Every time he did, Anwen would look up at him as if he were the only person in the world. It made his heart nearly explode with love. He hadn't quite gotten the hang of burping her, so he handed the baby to Jack when she was done eating. He sat the infant on his leg. After dropping a burp cloth onto the floor, he gently patted her back, while supporting her from the front. Ianto had seen him burp baby Henry this way as well. 

"I never asked, why do you do it that way?" he asked.

"Well if it comes back up it doesn't go on me or the sofa," Jack said, jerking his head behind him. “It’s a wood floor-easy to clean.”

Ianto smiled. "Clever."

"I have my moments," Jack said, winking.

With a few more pats, Anwen let out a loud and impressive belch that sounded as if it had come from a grown man. They both laughed as Jack handed her back to Ianto who glanced at the clock. He noted the time and said, “So you think I should confront Ben.”

“I do," Jack said, leaning back. After scrubbing his face, he said, "Look, Ianto, I get this feels personal for you. I get you don't want to do it. But we're out of options here. It's past time this was done. You're just stalling now and that's not like you."  

Ianto shifted and asked, "How do you think I should do it?" 

Jack shrugged. "If you want to flip him, I wouldn't lay into him too hard. But I also wouldn't do it alone." 

Ianto nodded slowly, considering his options. “Fish?”

Jack shook his head. “For some reason Ben treats Fish like a supervisor. You’d want someone he sees more as a peer, I think.”

“Alicia?” Ianto suggested. 

Jack frowned and shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know if it’d be a good idea. Ben might be done with his feelings for her but you don’t want that clouding anything unconsciously either. What about John? They talk, don’t they? You found out they’re playing golf once in a a while.”

Ianto hadn’t considered Miranda or her husband for a reason. Even though no one spoke of it, everyone knew when something bloody needed doing it was Miranda or Hart doing it. Ianto didn’t want to scare Ben into thinking he was walking towards his death.

Jack reached for the baby and Ianto handed her over. Jack set her face down and Anwen began to protest. "Sorry kid, the tummy time is non-negotiable." 

Ianto pushed a toy Anwen was reaching for closer to her. The baby let out a happy squeal and both men smiled. 

Jack offered, "Do you want me to come home for a bit and do it with you?"

Ianto shook his head. "No, I'll talk to John.”

"Let me know if you change your mind. I know I'm on leave but-"

A wet sound interrupted Jack. Both men looked down to see a puddle of sick in front of Anwen. They both reached for her, picking her up before she fell face first in the puddle. 

"Woah there, little girl," Ianto said. He held Anwen slightly away from himself and said, "You get that. I'll get her." 

Jack began disconnecting the toy arches from the mat so they could wash it. 

Ianto said, “I should've kept her upright for a little while longer after feeding her." 

Jack shrugged. “Babies spit up, Ianto. It’s what happens. I think the keep her upright thing isn’t helping much.”

Ianto walked to the nursery. After setting Anwen down, he selected a new outfit for her. Once the baby was clean and changed, he went back into the lounge. The flat door opened to reveal Alicia with the shopping. 

"You didn't text me the picture," he said, frowning. 

"I was positive this was it." She held up the plastic container. 

"Yes, it is," he said, nodding. 

She held the soap out to him and said, "Gimme!"

With a grin, he switched with her, handing Anwen to her. Alicia grinned and said, "Hey there, little girl. C'mere. Oh, you're growing up so fast!" 

Anwen reached up and grabbed a handful of Alicia's hair and yanked. "Ow, ow, ow! Why do you always do that? Let go, kid!" She succeded in getting Anwen to release the handful of hair, but the baby's uncoordinated hand reached for Alicia's glasses, knocking them askew. "Hey! Not the glasses either!" 

Ianto smiled fondly at them. Alicia bounced Anwen. She turned and noticed Jack cleaning the sick covered toys. She stopped abruptly bringing her hand to her mouth. "Oh, probably shouldn't do that since you just threw up."

Alicia leaned against the counter and rocked Anwen, watching Ianto and Jack as they cleaned the toys. She cleared her throat and stared into Anwen's eyes as she said, "So... I was thinking... maybe this was something the three of us should talk about. You know... a baby?" 

Neither Jack nor Ianto stopped or showed any outward reaction. Ianto felt his stomach make a nervous flip and said, “I’m open to discussing the possibility.”

Jack snorted. “I think Martha might have a heart attack.”

Alicia slapped his arm. “I mean me, silly.” She shrugged. “I’ve already had a health check for the surrogacy. I’m healthy. I’m fertile. All I’d need to do is toss my birth control pills.”

Ianto said, “Yes, but we shouldn’t do that until we’ve decided to definitely do this.”

Jack picked up the damp toys and set them down onto the worktop on a kitchen towel. Then he picked up the damp play mat so he could hang it in the washroom. He said, "I think we should talk about it after I'm back home." 

"But..." 

"Actually, cariad, I think Jack's right," Ianto said. He turned and gestured at Anwen. "It's hard to be objective for us right now when we're around Anwen. Helping to take care of her is different than having one of our own. This is an important discussion and we should take plenty of time to talk about it without distractions." 

"You're right," Alicia said, sighing. She smiled. “She’s just so wonderful.”

“Every baby is an individual,” Jack said. He rubbed Anwen’s head. “We could have one and it’ll be an unholy terror.”

Jack chucked and said, “Besides, everyone talks about the wrong things when they talk about being ready for kids. No one talks about the real pressures of parenthood.”

Alicia frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I’m talking about when she wants to watch listen to only one song. Every hour. Of every waking moment. For weeks.”

“Like Baby Shark?” Alicia said. 

“Baby what?” Ianto asked. 

Alicia’s eyes went wide. “Oh my god... You two live under a rock! Google it!”

Ianto took out his mobile and went to Google. His search redirected him to YouTube. _Two BILLION views? What the fuck IS this?!_ He did feel like he lived under a rock if he hadn't heard of something that had two billion views. 

Now, Ianto was intrigued. After watching the advertisement, he turned the volume up. 

“Baby shark do do do do do do! Baby shark do do do do do do!” 

He and Jack looked at the video, their faces twisted in disbelief and horror. The idea of being subjected to this for days was enough to make Ianto want to gouge his ears with an ice pick. 

“This is mad,” Ianto said. 

Jack raise and eyebrow when he looked up. "She likes it!"

Anwen was trying to reach for Ianto’s phone, staring at the video with wide eyed curiosity. 

The three of them burst into laughter. While Jack was wiping his eyes, a bleary Gwen Cooper walked into the kitchen. “What’s so funny? And what is that awful song?”

Jack, Ianto, and Alicia continued to laugh while Gwen stared at Ianto’s phone, her face twisted in horror. 

 


	21. Chapter 21

 

"Thanks for doing this with me, John," Ianto said. 

"Not a problem," Hart said, smiling. "I'm surprised you waited so long. I would've thought we'd be in here the minute Anwen was born." 

"At first, I was undecided about whether or not to confront him, but I also needed to decompress a little from the stress of the pregnancy. I figured it'd been going on for two bloody years, what's another few months," Ianto replied. 

"Jack was always a baby about being ill. You two might be back there soon. I see the way Peaches looks at Anwen. That kind of thing is catching." Hart gave Ianto a soft smile and said, "Mei and I went for a visit yesterday. I never though I'd wonder what it would be like to have one myself until I looked at her. That baby looks at Gwen and Rhys like they hung the moons. Those big eyes of hers looked right through me." 

"Thinking of trying it yourself?" Ianto asked, smirking. 

Hart shook his head. "I'm happy to be the doting uncle." He gestured at his crotch. "Anyway, I'm sterile." 

Ianto raised his eyebrow. "Sterile? They couldn't fix that in the fifty-first?" 

Hart became very interested in his cuticles. "I had the procedure done the minute I reached the age of majority for my planet. I also received a special gene therapy that prevents my DNA itself from being used to father a child or produce a clone. It's all irreversible, even in my time." 

He didn't elaborate to his reasons and Ianto didn't ask, but decided to change the subject. He gestured at the closed door. "I think the fewer of us here the better, and he trusts you."

"Well, you know me, Ianto, always up for a little interrogation." With a sad smile and sigh, he added, "I'd rather it not be a friend though."

"Train you for this at the Time Agency, did they?" Ianto asked. 

Hart nodded. "It's done throughout our training." 

"I bet you were good at it," Ianto said, absently. 

"Full marks," Hart replied. "I know you lot don't think I've got two brain cells to rub together, but I'm not completely thick."

Ianto rested his hand on Hart's shoulder. "John, I know we've had our differences in the past, but that's where it is-in the past. None of us think you're thick. You're my mate. You're a clever bloke and you're a valuable member of my team." He didn't think Hart looked entirely convinced. Ianto added, "I know you're trying to change. I'm sorry I'm stirring the past up for you." 

"This isn't like that. You're not asking me to beat on him or cut him up." Hart shrugged, then said, "Interrogation's a delicate art. Some people think it's all about reaching for the hammer and cracking some bones, but all that does is make a mess, and if you lead with it, there's no going backwards. Interrogation is more about manipulation and subtlety. It's like lovemaking-you need the right type of anticipation in the right amounts that makes a slow build to get what you want. Don't get me wrong, torture has its place and its use, but if you have time, it should be the last thing you use."

"Maybe you'll teach me," Ianto said. 

Hart raised an eyebrow. "You want to learn how to torture people?"

Ianto let out a nervous laugh. "No, I mean interrogation."

"Oh, I could do that, if you'd like," Hart replied with a nod. "You read people well and you naturally empathize with them. You'd be good at it. The torture too."

How empathizing with people could possibly make him better at manipulation and torture was beyond Ianto. He shook his head and said, "I couldn't torture someone, John." 

Hart inclined his head. "The Time Agency would evaluate new recruits. Anyone with empathic abilities was offered the interrogation concentration. The most empathetic people make the best interrogators and torturers, especially if you can push your emotions onto someone else like I can. Being able to put yourself in the shoes of the person you're hurting is essential. Being empathetic makes you uniquely qualified for it, because that's what this is all about, getting inside their head. A sociopath with no empathy'll just cut on someone because it's fun, without direction or purpose. Not that that isn't useful, and occasionally fun, but it's a bit like firing a machine gun to kill a housefly. You might hit it eventually, but it's not efficient and causes useless damage."

He gestured at the door. "I'm going to go for the soft approach here." 

"Soft approach?" Ianto asked. 

Hart nodded. "Fear is an effective interrogation tool, but it doesn't work well when the person you're interrogating is already afraid. But that doesn't mean you can't subtly use the fear they've already got against them." 

The fifty-first century man pulled up his trouser leg, and took the boot knife out.

"But you just said-"

"I'm not going to actually cut on him, Eye Candy. Sometimes the unspoken threat of violence is more effective than the violence itself. You'd be surprised how fast a person's imagination can run away with them." He held up the knife. "Having this out makes someone wonder all sorts of things. What's he going to do with that? Is he going to cut me? Where? How much will it hurt? How long could it go on? How long could I hold out? They won't consciously be thinking it either. His imagination will spin out of control all on his own and all I need to do is sit here and pick at my nails with this thing. Sometimes, if you need to take it a step or two farther, you give yourself a cut or two."

"Yourself?" Ianto asked, his eyebrows rising. 

"Well, if I'm willing to slice myself up, it begs the question of what I'm willing to do to someone else," Hart replied with a shrug. "But I doubt I'll have to take it that far. Each step towards violence increases the fear of the situation, and I don't think adding more petrol to this raging inferno of terror will work." 

Ianto leaned back and asked, "Why not?" 

"If someone's already afraid for their life, and painted into a corner, making them more afraid is just going to make them feel as if their only way out-"

"-is suicide," Ianto finished.

Hart nodded. "What makes this more delicate is that our purpose here isn't information, but to turn him, which is harder. An interrogation is just a specific type of negotiation. The basic principle is the same. We give him something. He gives us something. But becoming a double agent is the exact opposite of that. It doesn't make his situation better, it makes it worse. Our job is to convince him it's making his situation better and keeping that ruse going is hard. Ben's clearly got strong survival instincts, but everyone has a breaking point. The last thing we want is Ben deciding he's had enough, and eating a bullet."

Ianto said, "He's stressed."

"He is. I'm surprised he hasn't fallen off the wagon, to be honest. Usually something like addiction is good. If someone's got a vice, you can use it and exploit it to manipulate them, but that won't help us here. To do work as a double, we need him as clear headed as possible, which makes it all the more complicated," Hart said. After a brief pause, he asked, "You want to start us off?" 

"I've never-"

"I have a feeling you'll be a natural at this, but I'll be here every step of the way and take over if I need to," Hart said. 

Ianto nodded and checked his watch. "He should be done with his shift soon. Do you have the retcon?"

Hart nodded and patted his jacket, then replaced the knife in his boot. "Right here. Two and a half year dose." He paused and said, with hesitation, "You know, Peaches is right, Eye Candy. If we retcon him, we're showing our hand. Frobisher will know we know and he'll probably put a bullet in him to make this all neat and tidy."

"I know," Ianto said, sighing. 

“And everything we say to convince him we can help him is going to be a lie,” Hart added. He looked up and said, "He's coming. I hear him in the stairway." 

Ianto nodded and leaned forward, resting his arms on his thighs. He'd been thinking about what to say to Ben all day, but with Hart's new information, he quickly edited it. When the door to the room opened, Ben gave them a surprised and fearful look. He tried to cover it with bravado and humor, by snapping, "What are you guys doing in my room? I mean, I can think of one reason, but I don't swing that way." 

Ianto stood up and took Ben by the arm, guiding him away from the door. He pointed at the bed and ordered, "Sit, please."

Once Ben sat, Ianto picked up one of the small chairs and turned it around in front of the door. He sat on it backwards. As if speaking to a skittish animal, Ianto said, "Ben, John and I are here as your friends and I want to start off by saying that no one," he pointedly flicked his eyes to Hart, "is going to hurt you." 

Ben blinked at Ianto and John, then rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe this. "If this is a sodding intervention, you can save it. I've not fallen off the wagon. I've not had a drop. I'm sober as a bloody judge. I'll admit that I wished I weren't, but I am." 

"I wish it were that simple, mate," Ianto said, sadly.

Angrily, Ben rounded on Hart. "One addict to another, eh? I fucking trusted you! I confided in you and you go squealing to Ianto I'm having a rough patch? Fuck you, mate." 

Hart said nothing, but flicked his eyes to Ianto, who said, "I wish this were about your drinking, Ben, but it isn't."

Ben rolled his eyes and demanded, "Well what the fuck is it about then?"

The vivid memory of his sister sternly looking down at her children popped into Ianto's head. He said, "How about you tell me?"

Ianto stared straight into Ben's eyes and wouldn't look away. It only took a few seconds for Ben to swallow, hard, and say, "How long have you known?"

"Long enough," Ianto said, with significant disappointment.

Beneath all the terror on Ben's face, there was a hint of panic, but also relief. It was over and there was nothing he could do about it now. He looked to Hart and with a trembling voice, begged, "Just make it quick, yeah?"

After raising an eyebrow at Ianto, Hart rolled his eyes. He might be making light of Ben's distress, but the man was clearly terrified. He was even starting to shake with fear and dread.

Ianto stood up and then knelt. "Ben, what did I say? No one here's going to hurt you."

Ben clearly didn't believe him. "But..."

"'Death or retcon' might be the company line, but this isn’t Torchwood One and I'm not Yvonne Hartman. I meant what I said. John and I are your friends. No one here is here to hurt you. We want to help you, mate. That's what friends do." He paused and swallowed the bitter pill of Ben's betrayal. "What have I been telling you this whole time? This team’s like family and we're here for you."

Ben had stopped shaking, but his eyes had gone watery. He wiped them and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Ianto. I'm so fucking sorry. I didn't have a choice."

Ianto patted his knee. "We know, mate." He tried to sound more disappointed than angry, "Why didn't you come to me or Jack straight away?"

"They just wanted me to tell them what was going on around here. And since you were already telling them pretty much everything you could, I just repeated it. It didn't seem like it was a big fucking deal." He let out a half sob. "But it got worse. I don't have much of a family, everyone's dead already, but Frobisher said he'd send people after them anyway... He was threatening my bloody cousin who I've not talked to in ten fucking years!"

Shameful, he looked down at the faded carpet. "I got low. Real low. I started to not care what dark fucking hole they'd shove me in. That's when he started threatening you lot too. Rhys and Gwen... Joe and Alicia..." He looked at Hart. "You too, mate." He shook his head and said, "I didn't want to do it, Ianto. I fucking swear. I didn't have a choice!"

Hart sat down next to him. "We understand. You were protecting us, now let us help you."

Ben blinked and asked, "Do you think you can help me?" 

Hart nodded. "We're going to try, mate. And that's better than what you got going now. So how about you dry your eyes, and tell us how all this shite started, from the beginning."

Ianto picked up the box of tissues from the nightstand and handed it to Ben who wiped his face. "I used to work in UNIT's classified databases doing network support. Nothing fancy, it breaks, I fix it. Someone used my username and password to access the catalog database, specifically the list of all alien research projects going on with R&D. I was sitting at my fucking workstation when it happened too. I saw the whole thing right in front of my eyes. I tried to stop it, but I couldn't. Whoever it was, was good too. Upstairs thought it was either a high level hacker or a government. No one else would've been able to do it."

"You didn't report it?" Hart asked.

Ben shook his head. "No, I didn't like my posting. I thought if I tracked who was doing it, it'd look good for me, then I could request a transfer or land myself a promotion." 

"But you couldn't figure out who it was," Ianto said. 

Ben shook his head, wiping his eyes again. "No. And then I did something colossally fucking stupid. I tried to cover up the break-in." 

"And when they found out, it looked like you'd tried to break in and cover it up," Hart said. 

Ben nodded and a few more tears fell. "No interrogation. No trial. No due process. They just dragged me from my desk and tossed me into a cell. They didn't even tell me why, but I knew."

Ianto and Hart shared a look. That didn't make any sense. UNIT should've thoroughly interrogated him. They would've wanted to gain as much information as they could. The last thing they would've done was let him rot in a cell and not spoken to him again.

Ianto dug out a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to Ben. "How did you end up here?" 

"That Frobisher fuck came to my cell, said he had a way for me to get the fuck out of jail. At that point, I didn't care what it was. I would've sucked his cock for the rest of my life to get out of there. I didn't even know how long it'd been. It could've been a week or months. It fucking felt like years." Ben shook his head and started to cry again. "He said I was perfect for the job because I had technological experience and I'd been on your relief teams before. Frobisher said it would be simple, all's they wanted me to do was tell them what was going on in here. Five years, and I'd get a dishonorable discharge and go on my merry fucking way."  

"But it didn't end there," Hart said.

"No, it didn't. It was too fucking good to be true. I should've known," Ben replied, rolling his eyes. He wiped his eyes with the handkerchief again. "First six months or so, I told them about the rift alerts and some of the artifacts. There's not much to fucking tell since we don't know what most of the shite is anyway. But like I said, that fucking Frobisher wasn't satisfied. He wanted to know about whatever I could find out, including the immortal shite." 

Hart asked, "Did they say why they wanted all this information?" 

Ben shook his head. "No idea. Once I started working here, I figured it was because we didn't tell them much of anything. Whatever the fuck Jack's got going on isn't too big a secret. People whisper and talk, but no one knows for sure. I thought they wanted to figure it out for themselves." Shamefully, he looked down again. "Maybe start poking and prodding at you lot, find out what makes you tick." 

Hart went to lean against the computer desk so he was standing opposite Ben. "Tell us about Rupesh Patanjali."

"How do you know about that tosser?" Ben demanded. The realization dawned immediately and he added, "You've known about this for a while." 

"We have," Ianto confirmed.

With a frustrated half smile, Ben shook his head and said, "You did turn on the surveillance after that night, didn't you? I should've known." 

“I did,” Ianto replied. “I was worried about you.”

“We all are, mate,” Hart said. 

Ben looked up at Ianto with suspicion. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

“Because it took us a while to figure out you were being coerced and doing this against your will,” Ianto said. 

“If you’d come to us straight away, we’d’ve known that straight away,” Hart insisted. 

Ben sighed and shook his head. “You’re right. You all’ve done nothing but make me feel part of the family. I should’ve trusted you. Like I said, I didn’t think it was a big deal. I mean, I can’t tell them much. But then, the hole just got deeper and uglier and then I thought I was protecting you.”

“What’s the standing orders?” Ianto asked. 

Ben shook his head. "But they weren't threatening you lot! For fuck's sake, Ianto, do you think I'd worry if they threatened Miranda? That woman'd skin them alive and then sew the pieces into a fucking hat." He looked at Hart. "Like I said, they were threatening everyone who could actually die." 

He looked back at Ianto and said, "And these weren't simple threats, either. For fuck's sake, Frobisher said he could arrange for Gwen and Rhys's frozen embryos to have an accident! He threatened your sister and her family..."

Ianto bristled, but forced calm. "And you don't have any idea why?"

"None. I mean, I suspected. At first, I thought maybe it was to verify you lot were coming clean about everything you should be. Then they wanted all the information about the immortal shite, so I thought maybe they wanted to look into that and those Watcher people-"

"What have you told them about the Watchers?" Ianto demanded.

"Nothing, Ianto, I fucking swear. You told me they put a bullet in that bloke's head, I thought that was the last thing I wanted to start blapping about. I've tried to play ignorance as much as I can," Ben insisted. He sighed, "I've been filling my reports with nonsense, a lot of personal bollocks."

Hart said, "Including a little disagreement I had with the missus."

Ben looked up, startled.

"Yeah, Jack's not to happy you were using his daughter's house as a dead drop," Ianto said, flatly.

"I didn't know what the fuck else to do. It was the only thing I could think of when they started demanding daily reports," Ben said. 

"Why didn't you just drop them in the post on your way instead of leaving them at the house?" Ianto demanded. 

"And what the fuck was I supposed to tell you when you asked me why I was mailing letters? That I have a pen pal?" Ben asked, rolling his eyes. "It tore me up, Ianto, it did. Steven's my mate! He's a good fucking kid. I didn't want to mix him up in all this shite any more than you'd want me to, but I didn't have a choice. I was out of options." He sighed. "When did Henry find out?"

"Couple weeks ago." 

Ben hung his head and shook it. "I'm a fucking rat and you lot are still worried about me."

"Ben, we've known about this for months, but before that, you've been part of the team. Someone we trusted with our lives and the lives of the people we love. We do care about you, mate," Ianto insisted.

"Even if you are a fucking wanker sometimes," Hart teased.

The three men fell into silence and Ianto said, "The Watchers know."

Ben closed his eyes. "Christ..."

"Do you understand how bad this is, Ben? They're a worldwide clandestine organization," Ianto said.

"I get it, trust me," Ben said.

"I don't think you do, mate," Ianto said. He flicked his gaze to Hart, then to the bedside drawer to indicate the Watcher bug. Ianto had had Fish slowly disable it to give the impression of malfunction. Hart walked over to Ben's bedside table and yanked open the drawer. 

"Oi!" Ben shouted and stood. 

Hart ignored him and dumped the drawer's contents onto the bed. The lube bottle and masturbation sleeve rolled towards the middle of the bed and Hart dropped the drawer on top of them. The small electronic bug was attached to the bottom of the drawer.

"What the fuck?" Ben cried, glaring at Ianto.

Ianto gave Ben a glare of his own. He made his voice slightly angry. "Did you think you could make inquiries about the Game and the Watchers would just look the other way? This hole is way fucking deeper than you think it is. So let's back up, and you tell us about Patanjali."

"He's some fucking doctor down at University Hospital A&E," Ben said, rolling his eyes. "Frobisher was using him as incentive to get me to find out more about what goes on around here. If I didn't do as they asked, he'd replace me with him and I'd go back to prison." 

"But he's been poking around too," Hart said. 

Ben nodded. "Probably trying to make me look bad."

"Do you know what he's after?" Ianto asked.

With a shake of his head, Ben replied, "Nothing specific other than he wants into Torchwood."

"What?" they asked simultaneously. 

"You got me, guys. He wants to be Torchwood's medic," Ben said.

Hart and Ianto exchanged looks of disbelief. "But why?"

Ben shrugged. "I don't know. But he wants in here bad. He's been following the Watchers around, trying to give Frobisher what I won't. That's all I know about him, I swear." He looked ashamed and regretful. "How can you help me?"

"We can't wave a magic wand and make all this go away," Hart replied.

"But we're going to try," Ianto said.

"To do that, we need as much information as you can give us about what you've told them so far. We only have a couple weeks’ or so's worth of your letters," Hart said. 

"That might take a while," Ben said, looking down into his hands.

Ianto waved at the door. "Don't worry about what's going on out there, Ben. Right now, it's just us in this room, for as long it takes."

Ben took a deep breath and nodded. As he talked, Ianto paid careful attention. Ben couldn't remember everything, but Ianto was confident he was conveying as much as he could. 

Hours later, Ben shrugged and said, "That's all I can remember for now."

"It's all right, mate," Hart said.

"Yeah, anything you remember, you can tell us another time," Ianto replied.

"So what happens now?" Ben asked.

Hart took the syringe out of his pocket and said, "That's up to you."

"You've some choices," Ianto said, trying to hold off the panic in Ben's eyes. "I told you, we're not going to hurt you."

Hart held up the syringe and said. "This is a two year dose."

Ianto nodded. "We retcon you, relocate you somewhere else."

"And I'd be safe?" Ben asked.

"We can't guarantee that," Hart replied.

"What's the other choice?" Ben asked.

"It's not so much of a choice," Hart said.

Ianto waved around the room. "Things need to stay as they are. You keep reporting to Frobisher, to give us time to figure out how we can put a stop to it."

"Right now our greatest asset is you," Hart said. 

Ianto nodded. "Frobisher doesn't know we know about you."

"And that's an advantage. Now we can control the flow of information and even try to obtain some of our own," Hart added. 

Ben looked at the two of them as if they'd lost their minds. "Do you know what could happen to me if he finds out?"

Hart shook his head and held out his hand. "That's just it, mate. This way, it's harder for him to find out. You've done a proper job of it so far. We can build on that, make sure he never knows what's going on behind his back." 

Ianto had to admire Hart's mastery. The careful flattery wasn't over done. It was just enough to convince Ben he'd been doing the job they needed without realizing it and doing it well. Hart's voice held just the right amount of enthusiasm to sound as if he were barely restraining excitement about the possibilities. His words were carefully optimistic and hopeful about having Ben on board. 

Ben shifted back and forth. "And what happens after I've got Frobisher's choke collar off?" 

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Ianto said.

Ben eyed him warily and turned to Hart. "So you'll use me up and then your wife'll pay me a visit?" 

Hart shook his head. "What Ianto means is that until this is all sorted, we've no idea what your options are." 

Good save... Ianto nodded and said, "I can't give you clear options right now, but if you want to stay on with us, that'll be one of them."

"You'd keep on a traitor?" Ben sneered. 

"You're not a traitor, Ben. You're just in a shit situation," Ianto said. 

Ianto watched as Ben thought and carefully considered his options. "You'll protect me?" 

Hart nodded. "As best as we're able." 

"Not really what I want to hear," Ben snarked. 

Hart shrugged and said, "But it's the only answer any of us can give. The Watchers are out for blood. We've got not idea what Frobisher could possibly be digging around in here for. This is a shit situation you're in, mate. But we'll do everything we can." 

Ben swallowed hard, looking back and forth between Hart and Ianto. Ianto could see the hope growing in Ben who finally nodded. "All right, what do you want me to do?" 

"Right now? Nothing," Ianto said. 

Hart gestured out to the room. "He's right. Keep doing what you're doing. The only difference is now we're in the know. We'll control the flow of information Frobisher gets now." 

Ben nodded. He turned to Ianto. "I'm sorry, Ianto. I'm so sorry for everything I've done-"  

Ianto waved off the apology. "Doesn't matter now. We move forward. The end is where we start from."

Hart put a hand on Ben's shoulder and said, "You're knackered, mate. Get some rest. You can relax now.” 

Ben visibly deflated and nodded. He pointed at the Watcher device. "Does the surveillance need to stay?" 

Ianto nodded. "I'm afraid so, mate." He picked up his mobile phone and tapped it. "We blocked the signal on and off to give the impression that it’s malfunctioning, but we have to turn it back on. We can't let the Watchers know we're on to them either."

"Sorry, mate," Hart said, as he reattached the bug. He put Ben's private belongings back into the drawer and slid it back into place. 

Ben nodded his understanding as Ianto and Hart stood. "We'll let you get some rest. You have tomorrow off. Take the day after too if you need it." 

Without argument, Ben nodded again. He stood and opened the door for them. "Thank you both. I mean it. You could've done this different and by different I mean I could've just woken up in hospital not remembering the last few years of my life. Or not woken up at all.” 

Ianto said, “We’re more than a team, mate. We’re family.” 

They both briefly embraced him and left Ben's room. Once they were out of the stairwell, Hart turned to him and said, "Good job, Eye Candy." 

"Thanks," Ianto said, sighing. "You really are good at that." 

Hart winked and said, "Not the first time I've heard that." 

When they got to the top of the stairs, Hart shook his head and said, "Poor fuck. They set him up right from the start. You did good, by the way, not letting him on about that." 

Ianto nodded. "Frobisher probably orchestrated the entire thing. There's no way they'd just lock him up without interrogating him." 

"Torture optional," Hart noted. They stopped outside Ianto's door and Hart said, "You really are a natural, Ianto. You sold it all. He believed you when you said we'd try to help him.”

“We are going to try to help him,” Ianto insisted. 

Hart put his hand on Ianto's chest to stop him from turning towards the door. “Ianto, we can’t help him. He’s the one hanging out in the wind and if all this goes south, that’s where we need to leave him.”

Ianto pointed at the stairwell door. “They forced him into this John. They even created the situation that made him feel so desperate.”

Hart looked at him like he was insane. “He knew covering up that hack was the wrong move. He knew signing on with Frobisher was making a deal with the devil. And he has had an infinite number of fucking opportunities to come to any one of us and say something. He made his bed. He needs to lie in it and we need to fucking l leave him in it if it comes to that.”

“I won’t do that and we shouldn’t. We’re better than that, John,” Ianto said.

“You sound like Gorgeous.” Hart stepped to him and narrowed his eyes. “And what if it’s the choice between him and Alicia? Or Jack? Or any one of us and him. Who do you choose then, Ianto? What does saving Ben Murphy cost the rest of us?”

“We can all make it out of this,” Ianto said, firmly. “He’s one of us, John. He’s put himself at risk in the field. He’s been putting himself at risk to protect us.”

Hart shook his head. “Life isn’t like that. Blood for blood. Life for life. The Twins will always demand it.”

For a man who always spouted about the meaninglessness and randomness of life, Hart certainly spouted a great deal of his planet's religious dogma. He said, seriously, "What would I do if it was Jack or Alicia? Or you or Mandy? It's the same impossible choice, John. He's a part of the team and part of our family. We care for our own. No man left behind." 

“Who are you trying to convince, Ianto? Me? Or yourself?” Hart asked without expecting an answer. He turned and walked away. 

 


	22. Chapter 22

 

One by one, the team had approached Ben, privately. Each one had told him they were all there for him, and despite everything, that he was part of the team-their family. Miranda had even shared the story of how she had turned her back on everyone, running away to New York, and how it had been a mistake. He knew they were just trying to make him feel better, but all it'd done was make him feel like more of a colossal shit.

When Hart and Ianto had confronted him with the truth, Ben had panicked at first, but the final emotion had been relief. The lies and deception were finally over. 

He'd started all of this to protect his own hide and keep himself out of that horrible prison cell, telling himself it would be easy. Keep your head down, and your eyes and ears peeled. Walk in the fucking park.

But it hadn't been. 

The first sign it wasn't had been when Gwen's darling old mum had baked him a bunch of misshapen chocolate biscuits to welcome him to the team. She'd died not soon after. Gwen had thanked him, telling him that it'd been years since she'd seen her Mum as active as the day she'd made those biscuits. After the funeral, Rhys had come round with a hot spagbol. The rest of the team had been just as welcoming. 

Every day, Henry got his tea just right, and not only did Fish not mind him hooking up his gaming system, he'd helped him set it up. They invited him to dinner regularly as did Miranda and Hart. When he learned about Hart's fascination with golf, he offered to teach him the play. Ianto and Jack were constantly checking in on him. They asked if he needed anything, like an advance on his salary or a loan to pay for a flat. They constantly asked if there was anything they can do to make his room downstairs nicer or more comfortable whilst he searched for a place of his own. They also made sure he knew it was okay if he never left. Ianto kept all his favorite snacks around and Ben hadn't paid for a meal since he joined the team. Even on his days off, Ianto or Henry popped down when they ordered for the team to see if he wanted anything. He'd been welcomed and appreciated, and enough of his friends had whinged about their jobs that Ben knew it was a rarity. 

The reports he made to Frobisher sat in his stomach like a hot stone. A temporary solution presented itself when he'd asked Alicia out on a date. She was amazing in just about every way and way the fuck out of his league. But life was short and she was hot, so he went for it. After she shot him down, he discovered anger made the betrayal go down a little easier. 

So he tried to be a bastard to everyone and added a hurtful edge to his normal bluntness. It had worked for a while, but it was like burning a scented candle in a sewer. There was really no hiding the stench of what he was doing. 

He’d known he was in trouble when the first and last thing he started thinking about every fucking day was drinking himself into a stupor. All he wanted was just one drink, but he knew it wouldn’t be just one and it wouldn’t just be that day. It’d be tomorrow and then the day after that. So, he’d rang his old sponsor, Badger, and started the program again. 

After Ben's father had died, his mother started fucking any man that would give her the time of day. It had given Ben a lot of time to himself in a pretty dodgy part of Leeds. That was how he'd met Mallory Badget, who preferred his self-bestowed nickname of Badger. In fact, Ben was only one of a handful of people who knew Badger's given name. His mother had hated Badger. She didn't understand what business a man in his twenties had hanging around a boy half his age. She assumed Badger was up to something funny, which he wasn't. 

That said, Badger probably wasn't the greatest influence on him. The man was a drug dealer and a recovering addict, which always seemed an oxymoron to Ben. It wasn't until Ben grew up he understood Badger was trying to help people. As an addict, Badger had a unique understanding of his clientele. He cultivated relationships, made sure no one overdosed, and sold a clean product. With every sale he made, he supported without judging, and when someone finally decided they wanted to get clean, he was there for them. 

Badger was the reason Ben hadn't had to hit rock bottom before seeking help. The older man had recognized the signs of addiction and had pointed them out. Of course, Ben had brushed it off.  He hadn't understood the concept of a functional alcoholic. He wasn't waking up in the middle of a street, face down on the pavement, so that meant he was fine. What did it matter he was getting drunk every single night? He was making it to work in the morning just fine.

Then Ben had found his uncle hanging from his ceiling fan. 

There wasn't enough alcohol in the world to bleach that image from his mind. Every day, all he could think about was how long it would be until he could drink it away. It went on for months before he realized Badger was right, he was an alcoholic. Badger had helped him, just as he'd helped others. He got Ben into a program and had been by his side every step of the way.

Ben knew he could ring Badger for support and he would be there. He had been surprised to learn Badger had moved from Leeds to London. He'd always sworn up and down the last thing he'd ever do was move to London, but a rival drug dealer had driven Badger out of the area. Most of Badger's competition didn't care about him. He didn't do enough business to matter, but this particular dealer took objection to Badger's attempts to shrink their customer base. It was selfish, but Ben didn't care. The rivalry had put Badger in a city he could visit easily and regularly. 

Today's social visit would be particularly taxing. Once in a while, Badger insisted on meeting in a pub. He claimed it helped him get an idea of how Ben was doing. Ben thought he was just being a wanker. 

When Ben opened the door to the pub, his jaw clenched. The smell of alcohol set his teeth on edge. Meeting at a pub was ridiculous, considering he was a recovering alcoholic, but Badger insisted it let him see how Ben was doing. Ben thought he was just being a wanker. 

"Badge," he said, as he sat. 

He got a wink as a reply. "How are you holding up?" His friend gave him an appraising look. "You look tense." 

Ianto had given him a cover story a few weeks ago, but Ben didn’t use it. Badger would know instantly he was lying and he wanted to keep Badger out of all this. The less his friend knew the better. 

"Rough assignment from work," he said, giving the usual answer. 

As always, Badger just nodded, but for the first time he said, “You know, mate, I never ask, because troubles are troubles. It don't matter if it’s work, some bird. What or who the fuck ever. But your eyes’ve flicked over to those bottles about ten times and we haven’t even got past the pleasantries yet. You look about ready to hurl yourself over that bar and down the first one you can get hour hands on. So, I'm going to get us a couple of sodas and when I get back here you'll be telling me what the fuck is going on, if you please.”

Badger stood and walked to the bar. Ben started to panic, trying to think quickly. It wasn’t the first time he’d been on the receiving end of his friend's concern. After this visit with Badger, Ben was headed to Home Office for a meeting with John Frobisher. This time instead of feeding Frobisher information, he would be trying to subtly extract it. He was so nervous, his insides felt like someone was knitting with his intestines. 

If Badger perceived a threat to Ben's sobriety, he wouldn't stop until he knew what it was, and that was a serious problem. It wasn't a matter of feeding Badger a story he'd believe, it was more a matter of convincing him he was fine. By the time the glass of soda appeared in front of Ben, he still had no idea how to do that.

“Well?” he said, sitting down next to him. 

Ben sighed and decided to fall back on the usual. “I keep telling you, Badge. It’s fucking classified. I can’t tell you. Do you realize what will happen to us?” 

“No, I don't actually. I’ve been on the inside, Benji. I’m not scared of prison,” he said, rolling his eyes. 

Swallowing hard, Ben felt the concrete beneath his body as he stared up at the grey walls. The crushing weight of the complete isolation and utter hopelessness came crashing down on him. He shifted it aside as fast as he could, before Badger could pick up on it, but spat out, “Yeah, regular prison. The hole they’ll shove you in for this is like the fifth fucking circle of hell. Four fucking concrete walls and nothing but three shit meals shoved at you. No sound. No one else. Just a window so bloody high up you can't even see the sky, just the light from a sun you'll never fucking see again.”

“That speaks from experience,” Badger noted. 

Ben suppressed a groan. "Which is why I don't want it to happen to you." 

"I've known you practically your whole fucking life, Benji. You're at your wit's end. Let me help you." 

There had been a lot of times Ben had come close to telling Badger the truth, but now he wasn't alone in this anymore. The moment they'd discovered he was a plant, Ianto could've just had Miranda kill him or they could've retconned him back to puberty. Ianto did neither of those things. Instead, he and Hart had talked to him, and shown compassion. Though Ben knew he didn't deserve it, Ianto had given him the benefit of the doubt. If Ben confided in Badger, Ianto would know, and did not want to press his luck or test the limits of Ianto's generosity. The team knew and he was free. It settled calm over his shoulders. 

Ben shook his head. "You already helping me as much as you can." 

"You mean as much as you'll let me." Badger waved around the empty pub. He demanded, “There’s no one here but us chickens, Benji. So how’s about you tell me what’s got your knickers in such a twist?”

The only other person in the room was the bartender, but even with the alien sound dampening program, Ben's mobile still recorded everything. Not only was his mobile recording, so was the new subcutaneous tracker Fish had implanted into his scalp. It would enable the team to hear what went on during his meetings while maintaining the routine of leaving his mobile with security. 

"Listening ears are attached to speaking mouths, as my mum used to say. I wish I could tell you, Badge, I do, mate. But I can't," Ben said, firmly. "Please, stop asking." 

Badger gave him an appraising look, then sat back. "You're going to your meetings?" 

Ben nodded. "Every week."

“Good, and don’t forget, it’s never too late to ask for help,” Badger said. 

Ben drank his club soda and took a breath. “I know. I’m fine.”

“You’re not and lying to me and lying to yourself like that is dangerous,” he insisted, his eyebrow raised. 

“I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now,” Ben said. 

“Things have a way of getting worse before they get better and that light could be a fucking train,” Badger said. 

Ben snorted, and said as jokingly as he could, "Don't I know it." 

After a few seconds of silence, Badger seemed to concede. He said, "So, since you don't want to tell me about work, tell me what else is going on?"

Relieved, Ben began telling his friend about random things in his life. The two of them spoke about basically nothing at all, as was typical. They talked about the weather and football, and whinged about train prices. Badger took the piss out of Ben for playing Warcraft and Ben took the piss out of him for being a drug dealer. It was more therapeutic for Ben than any drink and he managed to even forget he was in a pub and what a treacherous task was ahead of him. He drank the last of his soda and stood, tossing a few notes onto the table. The move to London had hurt Badger’s business and Ben knew his friend was struggling. "Thanks for this, Badge." 

Badger stood and hugged his friend. "Anytime, you bastard." He paused and gave Ben a once over. "You're tense again." 

He'd hoped Badger wouldn't have noticed. "Got an unpleasant errand to run for work." 

"You want me to come with you?" he offered. 

Ben shook his head. "You can't, but I'll be fine." 

His friend's hazel eyes pieced through him. For a moment, Ben thought he'd cocked up, that Badger was about to sit him back down and interrogate him, but he didn't. "Whatever this is, Benji, you can do it. I've got faith in you." 

“Thanks, mate,” Ben said, warmly. I’m glad someone does. 

Bolstered by his friend's confidence, Ben took the Tube to the appropriate part of the city. Like any government building, Home Office had security. As always, Ben left his mobile at the security desk where he was expected. Once his mobile was in their hands, they escorted him up to Frobisher’s office, where he waited. He smiled at the second person who brightened his London visits. 

“Hi, Lois,” he said, with a sigh and sat. 

“Afternoon, Ben,” she said, smiling. Then she frowned, “You look tired today.”

“Shit night of sleep,” he replied. “How’s your sister?”

“Good, ready to pop any day,” she said, smiling. 

It had been one of Ben's first meetings here when he'd overheard Lois on the phone to her sister. Ben had been able to hear the hysterical crying through the line. Lois had apologized, profusely, after she'd rang off, and Ben had offered her a shoulder. Turns out, Lois's sister's situation was similar to Gwen and Rhys's. She had been having multiple miscarriages. Ben had offered Lois a shoulder. Over the course of Ben's visits, it had become a regular topic. 

Lois asked, "Did your friend's surrogate give birth?" 

“Baby girl. Seven pounds even," Ben replied. 

"Did you know the surrogate?" Lois asked. 

“No I didn't," Ben replied.  

"You know, after all the trouble my sister's had and your friend, I’ve been thinking about becoming a surrogate or maybe donating my eggs,” Lois said. 

Ben smiled. “I think that's very selfless of you.”

The smile he got in return was warm and wide. There was a short pause and she asked, “Do you go right back to Cardiff after this?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I’ve work tomorrow.”

She added, with a smile, “Anything I could do to get you to hang around for a bit?”

“I usually catch the first train out,” he said. 

Slightly bemused, Lois said, “Well, I was thinking-“

The sound of the intercom blaring interrupted her. When she hit the button, she said, "Yes, sir?"

"You can send Mr. Murphy in, Lois." 

"Yes, sir," she said. After hitting the button again, she turned to Ben. "Go on in, then." 

His stomach flipping from nerves, he stood. When he passed her desk, she said playfully, "Maybe next time you won't mind sticking around afterwards." 

He stopped in his tracks, surprised. She couldn't possibly mean... "Huh?" 

"A drink? Or dinner?" she said, hopeful. 

He swallowed on a dry throat. Unable to answer, he simply nodded. Lois winked and jerked her head towards the door. "Go on then." 

With heavy feet, and still stunned, Ben entered Frobisher's office. When the door shut behind him, Frobisher gestured at the chair. "Mr. Murphy, please sit."

As he sat, he tried to bring himself out of the stupor Lois had caused. He cleared his throat and reminded himself to keep things the same. So, he whinged. 

"I don't know how many times I have to tell you that coming to your office is too bloody dangerous. Someone is going to become suspicious, if they haven't already. I don't leave my mobile with security for shits and giggles? Privacy isn't a guarantee for a Torchwood operative. They're permitted to locate me whenever and wherever they want. My mobile can record everything within the range of its microphone. These meetings are dangerous and they need to fucking stop."

"If your reports didn't require so much clarification, they would," he snapped.

With feigned frustration, Ben said, "What needs clarifying now?"

"Cooper's maternity leave. You never mentioned a pregnancy and we've no record of it," Frobisher said.

"They used a surrogate," Ben said, shrugging. 

"Of which we also have no record," Frobisher replied.

"I wasn't privy to the details," Ben replied, rolling his eyes. "I have no idea who it was or what was going on. They're going to get real suspicious I start becoming nosy, bordering on bloody rude, and asking about shite that's none of my fucking business, and the details of Gwen's surrogate are definitely in that category. What bloody difference does Gwen having a surrogate make?"

"You do not get to make those determinations, Mr. Murphy," Frobisher said. When he moved the top paper to his right, Ben noted the papers were copies, not the originals. 

Frobisher continued, "You also failed to mention why Doctor Jones was assisting with Torchwood for several weeks."

Ben rolled his eyes. "Because I don't know. All I know is that her and Jack are mates. She pops round sometimes to help out, she works with UNIT some.” He sheugged. “Maybe she’s getting some extra coin on the side. Miranda’s not medic anymore and Ianto isn’t a doctor and there’s a lot of going on that needs an actual doctor.”

"So there was no specific project she was working on?" Frobisher asked, tilting his head.

"No, she was just an extra set of hands. I figured it was because of Gwen going out on leave. There were no artifacts of medical importance. There was nothing medical going on with any of the team. None of the riftugees were sick, far as I knew, but Ianto did move up their annual checks to coincide with Martha's visit. I figured it was because, like I just said, he's not a doctor." He rolled his eyes and made a frustrated noise. "When I don't elaborate it's because I bloody don't know. In fact, I flat out I remember saying it in those reports and still you drag my arse out here, endangering my cover to ‘clarify’ things I have already said I don’t know.”

Frobisher tilted his head. “I summon you here, because time and again, your reports are far off the mark. And as I have said, despite the frequency of our meetings your cover is still intact.”

“Because we’ve both gotten lucky! That’s going to run out!”

Frobisher ignore the remark. “Need I remind you of your limited usefulness?”

“Well I’m going to be worth nothing to you, if Doctor Ryan dumps me in a shallow fucking grave,” Ben retorted. "You keep telling me my reports are off the mark but I don't know what the mark is! So how’s about you give me some bloody direction instead of telling me it’s everything because I can’t keep doing this fucking dance.”

When Frobisher stayed silent, Ben rolled his eyes and said, “Fine, I get you don’t give two fucks about me, but let me put it another way. How much time is this bollocks wasting? Two bloody hours every week. If you put Patanjali into Torchwood in my place, he’s going to have three months of probationary surveillance, and a good couple more months before the team’s comfortable enough to start confiding in him. They trust me already, but you’ve got me with my dick in my hand and no idea of where to stick it.”

Frobisher raised an eyebrow slightly. He sat back and said, “You do have a point. These meetings are tedious and a waste of my time and my time is valuable. Perhaps a bit of direction would be helpful.”

Ben tried not to appear triumphant as Frobisher continued, “Primarily we are looking into anything Torchwood might be hiding. We’ve long suspected that Captain Harkness downplays the severity of risk with regards to alien threats and technologies, and that he likely hides what can be beneficial. We’d like to know how he is coming up with his criteria. We know nothing about him, his background or where he is deriving his knowledge.” 

“So you want to know how Jack Harkness knows what he knows?” Ben said. He shrugged and replied, “That won’t be easy. Jack’s tight lipped about his past. Is that all?”

Frobisher gave him a slow nod. “We're also particularly interested in Captain Harkness’s Lazarus qualities, and how he has managed to pass those on to Mr. Jones. There is something very unusual there, and we’d like to find out precisely what it is. Perhaps there is some technology within Torchwood's possession.” 

He picked up a pen and tapped it on his desk blotter. “As a further complication, your competition has determined there is someone who follows Mr. Jones regularly. We’ve no idea why someone would do this, or what their motivations may be.”

Ben nodded and frowned. He knew the answers to all those questions. They were facts he’d been carefully tiptoeing around since all this started. He wondered if he gave up those secrets would Frobisher let him be on his way? The temptation was brief.

Not a chance in hell.

Ben frowned and said, "I've no idea. I can't imagine why anyone would follow Ianto anywhere. He's a boring bloke." He stayed quiet for a moment, pretending to think. "What do you want me to focus on first? There's no way whoever's following Ianto around has access to the Hub, so he's got to be outside."

"You needn't worry about that. Doctor Patanjali is seeing to it, though his information has become frustratingly repetitive as of late. Something you’re quite familiar with as well," Frobisher said. "We'd like for you to focus inside the Hub, for now."

"Who's we?" Ben asked.

Frobisher's eyes narrowed. "That is not something you need to know, Mr. Murphy."

Ben rolled his eyes and said, "Yeah, I get that." He leaned forward and demanded, "What I don't get is why you don't just ask Torchwood all this. They have to report to you."

"Captain Harkness has told us it is irrelevant. However, we are the ones who should make that determination," Frobisher replied.

"And not Her Majesty?" Ben asked.

There was a slight tug at the corner of Frobisher's lips. "Her Majesty has always trusted in the Captain's judgement, but after the events of the time terrorists, she became amenable to more oversight with regards to Torchwood's operation. It is our hope we can place someone more agreeable in Harkness's position."

"Agreeable to what?" Ben asked. 

"Agreeable to the needs of the Commonwealth and humanity," Frobisher replied. "Climate change. Worldwide pollution. Threatened oceans. Disease. Even if Harkness doesn't know what it's for, that doesn't mean the the best and brightest of Britain won't. So we would like more information on the artifacts, as you've been providing, even if it's in their storage. Pictures. Schematics. Anything medical would be appropriate. Perhaps there is a cure for cancer within Torchwood's depths or other items that could go towards the greater good."

Ben resisted rolling his eyes. He fucking hated that phrase. People tended to use it to justify some pretty horrible shit. He was pretty sure that's what Frobisher was doing and whatever it was would be the direct opposite of 'great' and 'good'.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't remember if I posted this note or not so I apologize if I've done this in a previous chapter... My daughter has started nursery and is regularly bringing home sickness. In mid-December she infected me and my husband with what can only be described as a plague. My husband's recovered, but I am still very sick despite numerous doctor visits. I will try and update the story more, but the edits are suffering severely. The "e" key is also busted on my keyboard. So frustrating.

When Ben returned, he, Ianto, and Alicia sat down over dinner to craft Ben's next written report to Frobisher. With the new information regarding Frobisher's goals, they'd managed to craft a report more tailored to what Frobisher wanted. Some of it was true, some of it wasn't, but Ianto's near eidetic memory would allow him to remember and maintain the lies. 

Ianto was concerned when Ben was summoned to London again, but this time it turned out to be to praise his new report. It had been exactly what Frobisher had wanted and that twat was chuffed to bits. He told Ben he no longer needed to submit daily reports and would likely not have to return to London if the next report was as good as this one. 

The report's success was a double edged sword. Fewer reports allowed Ben an excuse to stop using Steven's house as a drop point. But less face-to-face time with Frobisher meant fewer opportunities to obtain information. To compensate, Ianto instituted more surveillance, including bugging Frobisher’s office and home which Alicia admonished him for not doing sooner. He also had Ben place cameras on the nearby lampposts to watch those coming and going from the building. It had turned out to be a prudent move. 

During his previous visits over the past two years, Ben had seen no one but Lois Habiba, Frobisher's PA. It seems Frobisher had raised Ben to a different level of trust. This time, Ben had arrived as someone was leaving Frobisher's office, and as Ben had left someone else had arrived. 

Under the guise of a friendly game and movie night, Shawn and Ashley had been invited down into the Hub to help them identify anyone in the video surveillance. 

“That bloke who was leaving as I was walking out, he was eyeing me. I don’t know why but it just rubbed me the wrong way. I wanted to see if the cameras caught him coming in or out,” Ben said, leaning over Alicia. 

Shawn glanced over at Jack talking to his fiancé. “I ain’t interested in a group thing, Jack, so stop putting the moves on my woman.”

Jack waved at him, not taking his eyes off of Ashley as they laughed and flirted. Ianto could see Jack's charm was in full force, but Ashley wasn't fooled. She was playing along for a bit of piss taking at Shawn's expense. 

Alicia and Ianto were thrilled to have Jack back at home once Anwen had started sleeping through the night. 

"After we figure out who these guys are, are we actually going to eat?" Shawn asked. "Because whatever Alicia made smells great." 

"It’s lasagna, and yes, we'll eat," Jack said. 

Ben hit the keyboard and paused the video. "That's not him. That's the bloke who was arriving as I was leaving." 

“Wait, I know him,” Ianto said, narrowing his eyes.

“You do?” Alicia asked, her face crinkling. “Who is it?”

“It’s Phillip Barrie’s husband, Martin,” Ianto said. 

“Eh? Martin Gilmore?” Ashley asked with interest. She abruptly stopped her conversation with Jack and stood. Leaning in, she said, “Oh my God! It is!”

“He was more relaxed when I saw him," Ianto said. 

“Relaxed?” Ben asked. 

“He’s quite flamboyant. Bit camp, really,” Ianto said. He straightened and frowned. “Good to see he hasn’t completely ditched the eye liner.”

“I don’t believe it. He ain’t the type I’d think would be part of some conspiracy,” Shawn said. 

Ben and Alicia both leaned in. “So this bloody poof-no offense-is working with Frobisher?”

“It doesn’t make sense. If his husband’s a Watcher, why do they want to know more about immortals? Wouldn’t he know all about it?” Alicia asked. 

“Don’t work that way,” Shawn said. He jerked his head backwards at Ashley. “Spouses and significant others have to be kept in the dark. If Ashley weren't a Watcher and I told her, it could mean a dirt nap for both of us.”

“No Alicia's right. It doesn’t make sense. Why would they be nosing around the Watchers? Martin may not know what we do, but he’s supportive of the organization. He's been to a few of the big events-“

“You guys have events?” Alicia asked. 

Shawn said, “You think being a super secret organization pays the bills? Hell no. To keep the money coming in, we got legit shit going on. We got real corporations and real non-profit organizations. We do a lot of charity fundraising and humanitarian work.”

Ashley added, “Our global placement puts us in a unique position to bring humanitarian aide to remote areas.” 

Ianto asked, “What do you know about him?”

“Nothing really. I know who he is, I know he's connected to an important person high up in my organization. I've talked to him a couple times. I've shaken the guy's hand and done the cheek kiss thing, had some small talk where you pretend to be interested, but I wouldn’t say I know him," Ashley said, shrugging. “I’ve seen him at fundraising events doing the usual schmoozing. He’s good at it. Making big ticket donations gives these wealthy assholes a nice ego stroke and Martin’s good at making that ego stroke a good one. He’s also very flamboyantly gay, so it also makes these generally old rich straight white people feel worldly, like they have a diverse social circle.”

“It’s why we get lots of invites to that sort of shit,” Shawn said rolling his eyes. He pointed at himself and then waved between him and Ashley. “They use Ashley's legacy status as an excuse, but it's really about the token Black guy and token interracial couple.”

“Then why do you go?” Alicia asked. 

“The free food,” Shawn and Ashley replied at the same time and everyone chuckled. 

“So, the big question is Martin doing this for or with his husband?” Ben said. 

Shawn sat down and took a big sip of his beer. “Barrie might not know. I mean, I ain’t the dude’s biggest fan, he popped one of my best friends. But this would go against everything he believes in. The man's a fucking fanatic when it comes to secrecy."

“He knows,” Alicia said, abruptly.  

“What makes you say that?” Ashley asked. 

“Frobisher’s office and home aren’t part of the Watcher surveillance,” Alicia replied. "If Martin was acting alone, he'd have no influence over what the Watchers were and weren't watching."

Shawn shrugged and said, "What if he's a cutout?"

"A what?" Ben asked.

"An intermediary," Alicia said. She turned to her boyfriends. "It works. Barrie obviously would trust his husband implicitly."

Ashley raised her eyebrows. "Not the best cutout, eh? Cutouts shouldn't know much. That's Barrie's husband. I'd assume that if he knows anything, he'd know everything, eh?"

There were a few seconds of silence which Jack broke with, “We need eyes and ears on Barrie and his husband.”

There was a bit of anger in his voice. He turned to the Watchers. “Does he have an office?”

Ashley and Shawn looked at each other with bemused looks on their faces. 

"Don't put them on the spot like that, Jack," Ianto said. "We'll ask Yuri." 

"That's not why we're looking at y'all like you got twelve heads," Shawn said, smirking. 

Ashley smiled and added, "You've already seen our super secret base."

Ianto frowned. "We have?" 

Both Watchers nodded. "That empty office building where they capped Kiernan." 

"How on earth do you keep a low profile using an abandoned building?" Alicia asked. 

Ashley shrugged. "Cardiff's a large city, but there's only three of you and you're all defensive players, which means you're boring as fuck." 

"Gee, thanks," Ianto said, rolling his eyes. "Allow me to venture forth and find someone to behead." 

Shawn laughed, snorting into his beer. Ashley rolled her own eyes and said, "What I mean is we don't need a lot of staff. We submit our reports electronically to London. They're proofed and sent on to Paris. The only Watchers in Cardiff are us, Yuri, Barrie, his PA, a handful of clerks, and our response team. Technically Barrie shouldn't be here, he should be in London. I'd imagine he got special permission to work out of Wales." 

"Then why an entire building?" Jack asked. 

"Right now we got three defensive game pieces in Cardiff, but that could change," Shawn said. 

"And we never know when or in what way, so we need to be ready for anything," Ashley said. She pointed behind her. "That office building is ready to go. Forty-eight hours is all it would take to move in equipment and set it up for hundreds of our staff to start working.”

Ianto had clearly underestimated the scope of their organization. The value of their marker increased. A timer beeped and Alicia walked towards the kitchen. She took the food out of the oven and set it on the counter. 

“Yes!” Shawn exclaimed. “Now that’s what I’m talking about!”

Ashley rolled her eyes. “You act like you never eat.”

“I’m a growing boy,” Shawn replied. 

Jack took the bowl of salad and a few bottles of dressings and set them next to the lasagna. Ianto uncovered a basket of sliced bread and a pile of plates and utensils. “Tuck in, everyone.”

As they all began helping themselves to food, Ashley said, "I think we have a larger, more pressing question.”

"What's that?" Jack asked around a mouthful of bread. 

Ashley gave him a disgusted look. “Good God, Jack. Were you raised in a barn? What did you even just say?”

Ianto said, “He asked what the pressing question was. And I've given up teaching him any manners.”

Ashley accepted the glass of wine from Ianto and said, “The question is why. I'm not kidding when I say Phillip Barrie is fanatical about secrecy. The man’s had Watchers in his family since Henry's time. That kind of legacy Watcher is raised like an heir apparent, indoctrinated since birth. The Watchers are like a religion to most long line legacies. The only future in front of them is one as a Watcher.”

“Sounds oppressive,” Jack replied. 

Alicia set her wine glass down “Ashley’s right. Barrie’s what? Eighty? He’s risen to a high position and I’m guessing that isn’t something that’s easily done.”

“It ain’t. You gotta have at least three generations of Watchers behind you to get to a management position, but being a legacy is just the first step. You still gotta do the work,” Shawn replied. 

“When I ambushed him at his home, he said to me, ‘Knowing our eye is watching endangers what the Watchers have done for thousands of years and the very fabric of the Game itself. You create bias. You skew the natural order. You disrupt and you corrupt. And that I cannot stomach.’”

Ashley pointed at Ianto with her fork. “See? Fanatical.”

Alicia added, “So why now? A man like that doesn't just give up everything he believes in on a whim." 

Ben spread some butter over his bread and jammed it into the sauce on his plate. "There's only one thing that makes someone turn away from everything they believe in."

"Love," Shawn replied as he handed Ashley a napkin. 

Ianto looked up from his plate. "You think he's doing all this for Martin? He wants to find a way to make them both immortal?" 

This time Jack swallowed the food before speaking. "You're assuming Barrie is the one behind this. Martin could be acting alone." 

"I think that's highly unlikely. You've never met this guy. I mean he’s not an idiot, but he’s not exactly what I’d call James Bond either,” Ashley said.  

"I have met the man, and I agree with Ashley. When I showed up at Barrie's house, Martin displayed genuine surprise, and Barrie was nearly panicked I was in such close proximity to him," Ianto said as he sat down on the floor. He put his plate onto the coffee table and sipped his red wine. "Good bottle, Shawn, Ashley. Thank you." 

Those who had glasses of wine raised them up and everyone muttered their thanks for the wine and the food. 

“I think we’re going to need surveillance on Barrie now,” Jack said. 

“Mandy can do it. Her and John bugged Frobisher’s home and office,” Ianto said with a one shouldered shrug 

Ashley stood with her empty plate and went into the kitchen. She started spooning more salad for herself. “Jack? You got the French dressing?”

Jack picked up the bottle and said, “Yup, here you go.”

Then, he tossed it across the room. Ashley deftly caught it but admonished, “Did you seriously just throw that? Your immortal ass can't get up and hand it to me like a civilized human being?” She looked at Alicia and Ianto. “What you both see in him is beyond me.”

“He is a lot of work,” Alicia said to Ianto who nodded. 

“But I’m worth it,” Jack said with a wink. 

When Ashley sat back down, she asked, “I hesitate to make this suggestion, but what if Shawn and I go to the security department with this?" 

Shawn nodded. "She's right. I mean, y’all’d have to come clean about busting into the network but this is proof something funky's going down. Video of Barrie’s missus waltzing into Frobisher’s office? The same dude who’s got Ben and Patajali reporting to him? That’s pretty fucking damning right there. We could definitely spin it out like y’all had no choice but to see what was going on up in our database because you didn’t know who to trust. Barrie and Martin’d spend some quality time in a real uncomfortable room. And if the Tribunal don’t like the answers they’ll both have a lead filled breakfast.”

"The problem there is we don't know if Martin and Frobisher are where it ends," Jack noted. 

"What if we grab him?" Ben asked.

"Grab him?" Ianto repeated.

"Yeah, bring him in," Ben said, shrugging. "Maybe let Miranda loose on him?" 

"We don't know enough yet to bring someone in let alone torture them," Jack said, glaring at Ben. 

"Just a suggestion," Ben said, shrugging. 

Ianto swiped the last of the sauce from his plate as he stood. He held his hand out for Shawn's plate who nodded his thanks. After stepping into the kitchen, he rinsed them and put them into the dishwasher.

Jack gulped at his water and in between bites of food said, "We should look into Gilmore and Barrie." 

Alicia nodded. "Let me get dessert set out and I'll start on that." 

Jack said, “Set the facial recognition to see if Gilmore’s been inside Frobisher’s home.”

Shawn perked up. "There's dessert?" 

"Wow, Alicia, you bake too?" Ashley said. 

"No, but the bakery does," Alicia said with a laugh. 

"I can have Fish do it in the morning, cariad," Ianto replied. 

"Nah, might as well do it now while we've got Shawn and Ashley here," Alicia said. She handed her plate to Ianto who rinsed it and put it into the dishwasher. 

After sitting out the chocolate cake, and the plate of fruit, she sat down at the computer and began to type. 

"You said Barrie's Welsh?" she asked. 

As he set out the coffee, cream and sugar, he said, "Yes. At least his accent was Welsh, dulled by years in Canada. Martin's sounded Irish, but also dulled, like he'd spent a lot of time living abroad."

Alicia tapped for a few moments as everyone helped themselves to the dessert. Ianto cut her a slice of chocolate cake and set it down next to her. She smiled up at him and said, "You get a gold star. Martin Gilmore born in Dublin on January 17, 1952 to Margaret Kennedy and John Gilmore, only child. Parents emigrated to Canada when Martin was seven. Attended Ryerson University, majoring in fashion and theatre. Did the New York thing. Did the London thing. Finally settled in Toronto in 1977 where he met Philip Barrie. The two have been together ever since. Philip Barrie was born December 31, 1940 in Swansea. Attended Eton College and Oxford. He pops up in a variety of cities after that, I'm guessing he was working as someone's Watcher. After he met Martin, he stayed in Toronto." 

"Barrie's been based in Canada pretty much his whole career," Ashley said. 

Alicia's fingers danced over the keys. "I'm uploading the viruses now." 

"Viruses?" Shawn asked. 

Ben answered, "Torchwood uses a lot of computer viruses. They're basically our own version of malware. Alicia will upload it into the Internet. If Barrie or Gilmore have a mobile or laptop or tablet or whatever that has an Internet connection, the virus will latch on and give us full access." 

The slice of melon was paused halfway to Shawn's mouth. "So I should clear my browser history?" 

The Torchwood team members laughed. 

"It won't matter," Alicia said, smiling. "Let's see what Mr. Gilmore has going on..." 

Ianto saw her bring up his social media and email. 

"Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle..." 

"What?" Jack asked. 

She pointed at the screen. "This is Martin Gilmore's Facebook page. It's a picture from last year of him and Frobisher shaking hands." She let out an interested noise and pointed at a few e-mails. "Apparently, Martin's been trying to form an association for the performing arts in Wales. He's been soliciting Frobisher for his help, offering him a seat on the board, soliciting donations, and pursuing funds from the government."

"There's no way this is a Watcher oversight. You lot seem like you got a pretty solid handle on everything," Ben said. 

Ashley said, “Ben has a point. Our lives aren’t private. The security department would know Martin’s friends with a government official. It’s something they’d watch closely.”

“Even more so because of Barrie. He’s high level," Shawn added. "The whole legacy thing might look like nepotism, but it ain't." 

"In fact, the higher you go into our organization, the harder things get. Barrie and other high level members are held to a greater standard," Ashley replied. 

Alicia said, “I set the background check software to run. We should have more information in the morning. I sent an e-mail for Fish to look it over when he gets in.”

"Could my bumping into him could be a coincidence?" Ben asked. 

Jack said, "There are no coincidences with Torchwood." 

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I apologize for the long spaces between chapters. As impossible as it sounds, my home is still a den of disease. I feel like I should put a plague cross on my front door. I have never spent this much time ill in my living memory. Thank you to everyone for your get well wishes, they are so very appreciated along with your continued reading!

 

Fish was gently rotating back and forth in his chair as he mindlessly read through the data they’d collected on Martin Gilmore and Philip Barrie. 

He let out a dissatisfied sigh and jumped a bit when cool hands touched his shoulders, then smiled when he realized who it was. Henry kissed his neck. “Can I get you anything, love?”

He shook his head. “I’m good, thanks, Henry.”

“I am going to order from the sandwich shop for lunch. Would you like a turkey club?” he asked. 

“I’ll treat myself today, I think,” Fish said. 

“Bacon, lettuce, and tomato it is. Have you discovered anything of interest?” Henry asked, reading the screen over his shoulder. 

“The usual... holidays and parties and other shit people post on social media,” Fish said shrugging. "A few lovey-dovey e-mails." 

“Something troubles you?”

Fish waved at the screen. It was a picture of Barrie and his husband, their arms thrown around each other. They were both grinning at each other like fools, their gazes full of love. He was old enough to realize the world and people existed in shades of grey. Those grey edges had gotten wider the longer he was Torchwood, but what he saw before him was a dichotomy bordering on oxymoron.“I had some trouble believing this is the same person who shot an unarmed man right between the eyes. I though Barrie was a cold blooded killer." He paused and added, "But then again, I thought that of Evie too.”

Henry raised an eyebrow. “She is a cold blooded killer, Joe, when such need arises. But that is not all that she is.” He paused and said, "Are you saying that Philip Barrie is not a cold blooded killer? Because that was my assessment as well." 

With a sigh, Fish said, quietly, "Ianto asked us not to, but I poked around Barrie's reports surrounding Kiernan's execution and a few of the other executions he's done. It looks more like Barrie's the sort who believes whoever passes the sentence should swing the sword. Kiernan’s execution wasn’t done lightly. He got several warnings, Barrie even spoke to him personally.” 

“I had had no idea Kiernan’s behavior had been so reckless,” Henry said. He leaned in and read the report. "While the Watcher rules are harsh, it does appear Barrie was left with little choice given their regulations." 

"If there's one thing this place has taught me is caution with preconceived ideas," Fish said, with a slight sigh. "It's one thing when it leads me to the love of my life... it's another when it shakes the way I see a murderer. I've killed in self-defense and in the line of duty. But I could never bring myself to murder someone. I can't imagine if I ever needed to do something like that." 

Henry leaned forward and put his arm around Fish’s chest. "Hush, Joe. I dislike seeing you troubled." 

For a moment, Fish settled into the embrace. He dipped his head and kissed Henry's arm. “I love you.”

“And I you, Joe.” Henry dipped his head again. This time, the lips against Fish's neck parted and Henry’s tongue swirled against his skin. Fish shivered and gripped the edge of his desk as a jolt of desire surged up his spine. His dick was definitely interested despite their location. 

Henry’s eyes twinkled at him. “Perhaps a short break once someone returns?”

Fish looked around. Jack was locked in his office, head down in paperwork. Gwen was on leave. Ianto and Alicia had the day off. Ben was on a rift alert with Hart, and Miranda was down in the morgue. The main Hub was empty. He grinned back. “I’m sure I could take a few seconds while we’re alone.” 

He stood and kissed Henry deeply. In one motion, he slid his hands down around Henry's arse, pulling him down into his lap as he sat on his chair. 

“Fuck, I don’t know how you keep doing this to me. I can’t get enough of you,” Fish growled as he sucked Henry’s neck. 

“Perhaps, when Mao-Lin returns, we could sneak off to the supplies closet?” Henry offered. He slipped his arms around Fish. 

“The range? It’s sound proofed.” Fish countered. Feeling particularly brazen, he wondered if they could manage a quickie before anyone came back. He reached between them for Henry's belt buckle. 

“How about right here?” Jack said from behind them. 

The two men flew apart. The chair skittered backwards and hit the worktable a considerable distance away with a slam. Fish blushed and Henry clasped his hands behind his back after clearing his throat.  

Jack smirked and said, “Oh don’t stop on my account.” 

Fish rolled his eyes and blushed harder. 

“You two make a pretty picture.” He turned to Henry. “Fish is hot.”

“That he is,” Henry replied, blushing slightly. 

Jack reached down and adjusted himself, then his expression became serious. He said, “I just was looking for an update on the background check.”

Fish walked back to his desk, his erection making it slightly difficult. Years at Torchwood had gotten Fish used to Jack’s ability to go seamlessly from sexual harassment to utter professionalism though he'd discovered it was mostly because was Jack completely unashamed and uninhabited when it came to all aspects of sex. To the fifty-first century man, what he'd done was as blasé as discovering them having a funny conversation, and making a witty remark. 

When Fish sat down, he tried to channel some of that ease. He said, “Nothing major is standing out. Martin Gilmore is pretty boring. He acts on and off in local theatre productions and a few drag shows. He’s mostly retired. One the public surface, Barrie’s a former businessman, now also retired and doing charity work. They're normal rich old people doing normal rich old people shit." 

Henry turned to Jack and said, "Is what we're to be doing at our age?" 

Fish rolled his eyes. "At your age, you're supposed to be dead." 

The two immortal men let out a light chuckle. 

"Anyway, their financials are pretty normal for their level of wealth. There's a fair amount of stocks and real estate. Barrie made his money the old fashioned way-he inherited it. He also makes a decent amount with the Watchers, though it shows as salaries for sitting on the boards of corporations and charities. Neither has any living family. Barrie’s an only child and his parents are obviously deceased since he’s in his eighties. Martin’s the same. Neither has children-biological or adopted. Their emails read pretty normal, the usual catching up and staying in touch with friends in Canada. Receipts for online purchases. The usual spam.”

“Which includes John Frobisher?” Jack asked. 

Fish shook his head. “My impression? Frobisher is more Martin’s friend, not Barrie’s. They share a love of theatre. Martin's been soliciting him for government support of his performing arts association.”

“Anything else?” Jack asked. 

“Not that I’ve found yet. It doesn’t seem to be a close friendship.”

“Keep digging,” Jack replied. 

“I am,” Fish replies. “I already went through the surveillance at Frobisher’s home to see if either of them show up there and they don’t. There's some information that's still compiling like the medical information from the NHS and Canadian Medicare, and some stuff from their phones like text messages and voicemails. I’ve got the computers going through their Internet traffic, but it's the usual stuff you'd expect-online purchases, google searches, social media, telly streaming, and some porn.”

Jack added, “Good work so far, Fish. If you two want to sneak off for an hour, go on. I'll keep an eye on the rift.” He waggled his eyebrows at them. “Though I wouldn’t mind if you stayed here and let me watch.”

Fish opened his mouth to make a flippant remark, but instead of speaking his jaw dropped lower with shock. Henry has eagerly sank to his knees and began fumbling with Fish’s belt. Wide eyed, Fish was too stunned to stop him. 

Jack doubled over laughing and clapped his hands. 

Just as Henry got Fish’s belt undone, he stood, and took Fish’s hand. As he led him downstairs, he called out, “I shall leave the rest to your imagination, Captain.”

Jack threw his head back and laughed heartily. “You’re a tease, Lord Richmond!”

“Just for you, Captain!” Henry shouted back. 

chucking, Fish said, “You had me going too. I thought you were going to blow me in the middle of the Hub while Jack watched!” 

Henry laughed back and said, "Well if you would prefer..."

With determination, Fish continued to drag his husband towards the firing range. "We need the sound proofing." 

* * *

 

After a thorough shower together, they returned to the main Hub. Fish gingerly sat down at his desk. It didn’t go unnoticed by his husband. 

“Joe? Are you in pain?” Henry asked, alarmed. 

“Yeah, but it’s definitely the good kind that reminds me of some of the best sex of my life,” he said. He shifted in his chair and winced through his smirk.

“I hope I didn’t damage you,” Henry said, walking towards him. 

Fish waved at him dismissively. “We've had much rougher sex than that plenty of times before. I had planned for you to be the one with the trouble sitting." He smirked, taking Henry's hand and kissed it. "Next time." 

The search beeped. The last of the background check was done. Before he could turn around, Henry kissed him gently. "It would be my pleasure."

Fish waggled his eyebrows at him. "Oh no. The pleasure will be all mine." 

Smiling, he turned to back his computer and tapped at the keyboard. The new information appeared on his screen and he began to read. 

Henry pointed at the screen. "Is this their medical records?" 

Fish answered, “Yup.” He scanned a few more documents. “Barrie’s has a stint placed. He’s got high blood pressure too, well controlled with medication. Other than that, he's pretty healthy for a bloke his age. Martin’s... oh shit.”

“What is it, Joe?”

“Martin has cancer, multiple myeloma,” Fish said. “Poor sod. Is that the skin cancer?”

"That's melanoma. One moment, Joe, I'll look it up." After checking the spelling over Fish’s shoulder, Henry took out his mobile and began tapping. Reading the phone’s display, he said, “According to Wikipedia, it is a cancer of the blood’s plasma cells, the cells responsible for producing antibodies. It produces bone pain, bleeding, infection, and anemia. Oh dear. Whilst treatable, it is incurable. The survival rate is only four to five years.”

Fish brought up the records. “He was diagnosed about five years ago. He was being treated with a couple drugs I can’t pronounce.”

“Was?” Henry asked. 

“He’s on a maintenance treatment now but I don’t know what that means. I’m going to forward all this to Evie and Ianto,” Fish said, tapping at his keyboard. 

Just as he hit the send key, Ianto came walking up the north stairs with Jack. Fish was surprised to see Ianto since it was his day off. He was casually dressed in a t-shirt and jeans. Fish waved at them and they stopped behind him. He could smell soap and Ianto’s freshly applied cologne. 

“I found something on the medical check. Martin’s sick. He has some sort of blood cancer, multiple myeloma.”

“That cancer's always fatal,” Ianto said. 

Jack winced. “So Martin’s dying.”

Henry offered, “Could that be why they are so interested in us? Philip Barrie is attempting to save the person he loves by any means possible?”

“It's a possibility, but Barrie should know that there's no way to turn Martin into one of us,” Ianto said.

"The Methuselah Stone has been lost," Henry said. 

"The what?" Jack asked. 

"A legendary crystal of astonishing power," Henry replied. "There have been stories of it amongst our kind for many millennia. Some say it increases the power of the immortal who possess it, magnifying the power of the quickenings they have absorbed. It is said it shall protect a mortal who posses it from death and make them invulnerable." 

Jack let out a low whistle. "Could Barrie be after this?" 

"Many pieces of the stone were once in possession of the Watchers, so Barrie must be aware of its existence. The only piece of which I am aware is in the possession of an immortal named Amanda Deveraux, a gift from her teacher who has long since fallen," Henry said, tilting his head. "The stone, however, was stolen by a Watcher intent upon using it to become immortal. During the struggle over the stone, it was fractured and the pieces lost. It would be impossible to recover them in the amount of time Gilmore has. It would likely take many lifetimes to find all the pieces, and obtaining Amanda's piece would be most problematic and potentially fatal."

Fish waved at the computer. “Even without this stone, Martin is friends with Frobisher. He and his husband confide Martin’s health problems to their friend. Frobisher knows about us and immortals. It fits well.”

Henry asked as he read over Fish’s shoulder, “While I hesitate to come to the defense of one who has killed someone in cold blood, is it possible Philip Barrie is ignorant of his husband’s affliction?”

The three men turned, looking at Henry as if he’d lost his mind. 

Ianto said, “You aren’t serious.”

Fish raised a skeptical eyebrow. “How could Martin hide an entire cancer treatment from his husband? Chemotherapy is basically poison. He’d be sick as fuck." 

Henry reached past his husband and enlarged Barrie's background information. "Barrie was once in charge of Watcher operations for all of Canada and is now in charge of the British Isles. While I do not know much about Watcher operations, I doubt such a high position has reasonable hours and workload. Yet there is no indication here of any sort of leave." 

Skeptical, Fish turned to his computer and brought the section Henry had read to the front. "You know, Henry's got a point. I don't see any indication he's taken a large block of time off, but someone high level like this could also come and go as they pleased. It's not like he's punching a clock. He's got a few Mondays or Fridays, sometimes another day when a bank holiday lined up with a weekend." 

"Someone else would have to assume his duties," Henry said. 

"I don't see any indication of that at all," Fish said, his eyes skimming the screen. 

"They are a devoted couple. I doubt he would not be by his husband's side through such an ordeal. He hasn't taken a single day of leave from work in all this time aside from a few holidays, nothing to indicate he was providing his husband with support through a lengthly cancer treatment." 

Fish tapped at his keyboard. He pointed at the screen. "When Barrie had his stint placed, Martin was starring in a production of My Fair Lady. His understudy stepped in for the remainder of the show's run." 

"That doesn't make any sense. If Barrie doesn't know about Martin's cancer, why would he enlist Frobisher's help to find a cure?" Ianto asked. 

"Maybe Martin did on his own? Fish, you did say Frobisher's more Martin's friend," Jack asked, with a shrug. 

"I have no idea how we can find any of this out," Ianto replied. 

Henry said, "Mao-Lin." 

"What does Evie have to do with it?" Fish asked. 

Henry shrugged. "She is a trained doctor. She's not an oncologist, but she could ring one of Martin's previous physicians, pretend to be a new doctor consulting on the case or be someone performing some clinical trial. Under that guise, she could gain more information on whether or not Martin has informed his husband." 

Jack waved his index finger at Henry. "You know, that's not a half bad idea."

Ianto nodded. "It still doesn't explain how Frobisher has managed to stay off of Watcher surveillance." 

Fish also nodded. "That's another good point." 

"Why not simply search for that information?" Henry asked, waving at the screen. 

Fish turned back to his computer and began tapping, but Ianto said, “I don’t want to go delving into this too much.”

“I believe the intrusion is warranted, lad,” Henry said. 

Ianto winced and said, “Do a search for Frobisher’s name.”

Fish tapped and a few reports came up. “Barrie did disclose the relationship. He describes Frobisher as a friend of his husband, that they have the same love of theatre.” His eyes flicked across the words. “This report is from years ago, when Frobisher first entered civil service. They did do an investigation when Barrie first disclosed the relationship and found Martin knew nothing and that Frobisher was equally ignorant.” 

Fish closed the report and scanned the list. He saw one dated recently. “When they discovered Ben, they looked into it more. They determined that Frobisher’s information regarding the Watchers didn’t come from Barrie or Martin because of Patanjali's level of ignorance. They're assuming the leak is coming from Frobisher's association with Torchwood... Fuck. They're referencing a report from... Christ, nineteen seventy two!"

"Bring it up," Ianto said.

Fish tapped the link and the report appeared. Their eyes skimmed the text.

"This is about you," Ianto said, flicking his eyes to his husband. "They found you through Miranda and found Torchwood through their investigations of you." He turned back and said, "Close that up, Fish, I don't want to read too much of it." 

With a nod, Fish returned to the prior report. "Martin’s interaction with Frobisher has been on the up and up and they're positive Martin doesn't know anything.” Fish let out a snort. “They’ve got his house bugged. The audio isn’t constant but they’re allowed to listen whenever they want. All they found was Martin's work forming a Welsh association for the performing arts. He’s been soliciting his friend for donations and to take a seat on the board and seeking advice on how to get government funds. They thought the matter was settled so they put it to bed.” 

Fish raised an eyebrow and pointed at the screen. "Barrie doesn't know about this part of the security investigation checking into Frobisher and Martin's association. These files are marked for their internal security department only." He let out a small scoff. "If Barrie doesn't know about the cancer, he's going to feel like a rube. His own security department knows... and so does Frobisher." 

"I doubt they would inform him when his husband was the subject of an investigation," Henry said, leaning over his husband's shoulder. "As for the cancer, that is a private matter within their marriage." 

Jack put his hand on Ianto's shoulder. "I'm going to call Will, have her get on this thing with Martin." 

Ianto let out a slight sigh. "We're getting too many pieces of the puzzle and not a whole picture. Fish? I want every word the Watchers have on Frobisher and Martin and Barrie. I also want every word Barrie's ever written for the Watchers. Limit the chronicles to immortals of the Game that are dead, please. And make sure anything involving Frobisher doesn't also involve Jack. I don't want it to look like I'm spying for the sake of my husband or trying to gain an advantage in the Game." 

As Ianto turned to walk away, Fish rotated in his chair. With wide eyes and surprise, he cried, "Ianto, that's going to be thousands of pages!"

"I know," Ianto said over his shoulder. "And the sooner you get it to me, the sooner I'll be done reading it all." 

* * *

 It took Ianto nearly a month to read through the thousands of pages Fish provided. The frustrating part was once he was done, he hadn't gained any useful information. He had a clear and detailed image of Barrie's professional mindset, as well as significant insight into his thought process, but nothing that cast light onto their current situation. He had no greater clues as to where Martin Gilmore fit into Frobisher's schemes or if Philip Barrie was connected to any of it.

Ashley and Shawn were correct in their assumption that Barrie was fanatical about the Watchers. The man worshiped at their altar and their code was his chapter and verse. But love was one of the most powerful forces in the universe. Anything could crumble at the hands of love. 

Ianto knew they had likely reached the end of effective intelligence gathering. The only way to make progress was to make a move, but Ianto didn't know what that move should be. 

"Ianto... I can hear you thinking from here," Jack said with a grunt. He rolled and propped his head up on his hand. 

"Sorry," Ianto said, quietly. 

Jack rested his other hand on Ianto's chest. "What's wrong?" 

He turned towards Jack. In the darkness, he could only see the barest outline of Jack's face. "What do you think we should do?"

Jack was silent for a few moments. "I don't know yet."

"That's what I thought you were going to say," Ianto said with a slight groan.

The fact that Jack didn't know what to do either didn't make him feel any better. Since their personalities balanced each other well, he and Jack mostly ran Torchwood as equal partners even though Ianto was technically second-in-command. That equal split was not suitable for every situation and this investigation was a prime example of that. Some aspects required decisive action and some required patience. Due to Jack's troublesome pregnancy, Ianto had been taking the lead. He'd been completely in charge before, but never for such a long time for such a lengthly investigation. Sometimes he wondered how Jack had done it alone for so long. Making decisions that could endanger the lives of the team held a crushing amount of responsibility. He sat up and threw back the blankets. 

"Ianto?" 

"I'm just going to have a walk. Clear my head," he replied. "Don't wait up for me. Get some sleep." 

"All right. Don't sleep out in the lounge when you come back. Come back in here, okay?" Jack said. "Alicia's in London with Will and I really don't want to be in here by myself." 

"All right," Ianto replied. 

In the darkness, he dressed in some comfortable clothes and trainers. After grabbing his mobile and his sword, he left the flat. The minute he opened the door, the strong bass of music reached his ears. By the time he reached the stairs, the volume made him wince. 

He raised an eyebrow. Metallica? 

Donned in a welding shield, John Hart was bent over the tech worktable. Sparks were flying and his foot was tapping to the music. To Ianto's surprise, Hart wasn't working on a piece of tech, but a metal sculpture. Looking away from the bright light, Ianto waited until the sparks stopped before touching Hart on the shoulder. 

Startled, Hart flipped up the shield and turned. "Eye Candy! Sorry is the music too loud?"

He picked up his phone and turned down the volume. 

"No. Are Henry and Fish out on a call?"

Hart nodded. "You just missed them. I think Fish was glad to get away from my music.”

Ianto shook his head as he examined Hart's work. He was welding pieces of found metal together. There were gears, screws, nails, coins, springs, and even kitchen utensils. They were all bent and welded together to form the head of a horse with a flowing mane.

Just when Ianto thought he had John Hart figured out, the man did something wholly unexpected. He admired the flowing form and rugged texture. Not without a certain amount of awe, Ianto said, "This is beautiful, John." 

"Oh this thing? It's just something I've been tinkering with. There's something satisfying about melting metal pieces. Dollface won't let me weld in the flat," he said, shrugging. He waved at the horse head. "Most of the animals alive today are extinct in my time." 

Ianto blinked. "Horses are extinct in the fifty-first century?" 

"Horses like this, yeah," Hart said. He ran his hand over the metal. "I don't mean to sound like a purist, but there's a simple beauty to the animals of earth as nature made them, the way they evolved." 

"Horses are highly domesticated," Ianto said. 

"Even still, it's something completely human because you domesticated them to suit your needs. It's like reaching into the deepest roots of a species’s past. The nature of a world is what makes the life that lives on it. That life is a planet's art, the outward expression of its soul," Hart said. He gazed into the horse's eyes and smiled to himself. After a moment, he turned back to Ianto and said, "You all right, Eye Candy? Trouble sleeping?" 

Ianto nodded. He sat down on Fish's usual chair and scrubbed at his face. "We never sleep well when Alicia's in London."

Hart gestured at the table in front of him. "It's why I'm sleeping in my old room. The same happens to me when Dollface isn't there. But why do I get the feeling Peaches' absence isn't the only reason you're not sleeping." 

Ianto let out a sigh. "I don't think we're getting anywhere with the surveillance anymore. It's time to act, I just don't know what to do."

"Time to piss or get off the pot," Hart replied. He reached over and turned off the welder. He set it down carefully in its cradle. "Sorry. Not my decision." 

Ianto waved between them and said something he never thought he'd ever say to Captain John Hart. "I value your opinion, John." 

He swore he saw Hart's cheeks color a bit. The fifty-first century man rotated the horse's head, examining his work. He picked up a large bolt and rolled it in his fingers. "I think we'd get the farthest if we talked to Patanjali." 

"What makes you think that?" Ianto asked. 

After setting down the bolt, Hart crossed his arms over his chest. "It's the largest unknown piece. All we know about him is that he's spying on the Watchers upstairs. We've no idea what he's after and why. We know what he's told Ben but that piece of information isn't exactly reliable. We don't even know how he got involved in all this. For all we know, he could be just as in over his head as Ben was. I think he'll fill in the most gaps." 

Ianto nodded. He'd come to the same conclusion. "It'll tip off Frobisher, though." 

"Not necessarily," Hart said, wagging his finger. "If we grab him at the right time, it'll all work. He's a boring bloke, regular schedule. Once he's home, he doesn't go back out again. Perfect time."

"That'll tip off the Watchers. They have eyes on him," Ianto replied. 

"It will, but it's a move they'd expect from us. There's no strategic disadvantage to them knowing we've interrogated him," Hart said, with a one shouldered shrug. 

Ianto considered for a few moments and nodded. "Thank you, John. I'll give it more thought, but I think you'e cleared things up for me." 

"Any time, Eye Candy," Hart said, turning back to his work. "Good night."

"Night," he replied, turning towards the stairs. He paused and turned back. "Would you like to join me and Jack tonight?" 

Hart set down the welder and said, "I'd like that very much. Just sleep, right?" 

"Of course," Ianto replied. 

"Give me a few minutes to clean up and I'll be right down," Hart replied. 

"Let yourself in," Ianto said. 

 


End file.
